Chapter 4 : Reaction 12 - James
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Ade came bursting into their flat, completely hysterical with laughter and yes I laughed just looking at her, she looked hilarious. And then she tried to explain what happened, but couldn’t get the words out; making everyone howl with laughter even more, little Summer sat there thinking ‘yup whole families gone mad’.
And then, then then! Wait for it….
Wormy pissed his pants!
Right there! Right in the middle of Sirius and Ade’s living room! It was so funny, I’m actually surprised Ade didn’t piss herself, she looked like she was dying with laughter.
After about half an hour and Adriana still hadn’t finished laughing about whatever the fuck had happened in class it got boring, and annoying. And I swear I saw Sirius go to kick her in the face and then think better than it. I chuckled at him, he loved her so much. So anyway, we got Lily to tell us.
“I HAD A PANIC ATTACK OKAY!!” She fumed and then ran upstairs to Ade’s room - they had separate rooms, looong story -
“S-h-shee s-sn-o-ottt!” Ade laughed harder, even banging her hands on the floor with delight.
“She do that when your bending her over Pads?” I nudged and winked at him, I was happy for him he got laid by the love of his life regularly which is not the worst thing in the world. Actually I think its one of the best. Sirius smirked,
“Go stop your girl from snotting on my bed,” He said
“You back in the bed then yeah,” I asked quietly standing up,
“Yeah, you knew I would be,” He smiled at the sight of his girl on the floor. He mind is fucking weird.
Ascending the stairs the thought struck back into my mind. Reaction 1 or 2? Her reaction to the whole situation wasn’t that good, so I’ll do a mixture of the two. Yeah Reaction 12.
Lily was the most beautiful being in the world, and I’ll openly admit that to anyone who may be in denial. If you know anyone, let me know yeah? She is even when there’s mascara and snot running down her face, I still think she’s beautiful and worth every knut in the world. Lil’s is companionate too, if I gave her everything she’s worth she’d send it to Africa or somewhere equally as poor - which I would never do. Reaction 12 was best for my woman.
“Lil,” I gently said jumping on the bed next to her, pulling her body closer to mine so that her black tears and green -ew- snot was on my shirt not Pad and Ade’s bed. Her crying became less, and I was happy for that. I hated seeing her cry.
I mean this is her second panic attack this year and we’ve only been back a week - NEWTS aren’t even till summer, so I dread to think of what she’ll be like then.
“Just think… where we’re sitting, Pad and Ade have fucked - hard knowing them,” I said thoughtfully, hoping it would make my Flower smile. It did.
“Is that all you c-can say-y?!” Lils laughed through her sniffles. I grinned the cheeky smirk and leaned into kiss her neck, her skin was smooth. Like the smoothest I’ve ever touched, which is really big cos’ girls…. They’re into me.
“Don’t cry,” I muttered leaning my chin on her shoulder, pushing her hair behind my head; turning her head her beautiful emerald eyes looked into mine, the black lines from the unneeded make-up ran down her face staining her ivory skin. I kissed the end, hoping to eliminate the whole streak; yeah it didn’t work.
“I need to pull myself together,” she snuffled, her beautiful smile creeping up on her face slowly
“Yeah you do,” I laughed cautiously… bordering on both reaction 1 and 2!
She laughed softly, the same laugh that actually turned my world. Course I had always loved the laugh, and Sixth Year on our first day when I realised that she was finally mine; well it had more of an effect than I expected it too. I cuddled into her more, keeping her body firmly pressed against mine; I could not lose her at all. I’ve seen first hand what that can do to people, and me I don’t wanna risk it.
I took her home to the head dorms to clear herself up before we went for dinner; she was in her shower and me lying against her bed… well it was ours really because I sleep there too. Course all of my things are in my room; Lils is to goody-two-shoes to let me officially move in here with her, but I know just as well she can’t sleep properly without me by her side, the same way I can’t without her. All those years when I was adoring her from a-far and attempting to woo her with my childish ways and pranks ; I thought that they were the best years of my life. Amazing friends, amazing grades, adored by 90% of the Hogwarts population, the 10% being Slytherin and I’m glad they didn’t adore me! Seriously though, they weren’t… course I had a laugh and it’s something that will always stay etched in my heart; but now with Lily, everything is 1000 times bigger and better… we’re the power couple, and that doesn’t please me as much as it would have been. The pranks and detentions stayed etched on my heart but Lily Evans is tattoo all over it, she really means that much to me.
The door creaked open, it seemed like slow motion really, to reveal the beautiful red-head in which I love now more than I ever have done in my Six years of conquest. One of her legs was completely bare and it was bent slowly as she walked through the door, again seeming like slow motion, the towel surrounded her body however I could see the water droplets running down her arm dripping onto the maroon carpet. My mouth hung open watching the beauty stalk her way towards me, crawling onto the bed yet keeping a distance away from me. I wanted to snatch her up and keep her all to myself, never letting another pair of eyes sweep over her body,
“What’s the matter James,” She teased, knowing full well what she was doing to my body. Growling and leaned over and hungrily kissed my lips to hers, straddling her body against the mattress. I could feel her giggling as she kissed me back with just as much enthusiasm as I was putting it in. I ran my hand down the towel, yearning to go underneath. But I wasn’t going to risk it. I know she’s not ready yet. Instead I let my hands travel up and down her towel, pressing hard to just get a touch of her skin… but no.
Lily put a hand against my chest and pushed me away, I brushed my lips against hers again quickly but she continued to push me away, I backed off; getting the feeling that she didn’t really want me. I kept my legs on either side of her body and my hands either side of her face.
Like actually tried to get away from me. I got off her questioningly.
“Lil?” I asked, concerned now. She sat up and turned away from me, walking straight into the bathroom not saying another word.
Okay? That was really weird.
I didn’t move, just waited for her to come back out of the bathroom to tell me what’s going on with her. She didn’t even look at me… she just walked away. The door opened suddenly and I sat up on the bed straight away, searching Lily’s eyes for… for something that could tell me she was okay.
“I think it’s best if you sleep in your bed tonight Potter,”
She called me Potter.
She hasn’t called me Potter in years.
Hello broken heart, you haven’t been around for ages. How’ve you been? Oh yeah, whole.
My legs somehow carried me to Ade and Sirius’ dorm. I opened the portrait hole, and everyone except Sirius and Ade and Summer had vacated. I didn’t say anything, I just stood there, absorbed in the shock. That seriously just happened. I didn’t make it up. I didn’t over imagine everything. I’ve been good.
“What’s up mate?” Sirius asked from the comfortable postion on the sofa, with Ade curled up in his arms. At least she’s stopped laughing. Ade looked at me too, both looked extremely worried. I didn’t answer though, I sat on the floor next to Summer and cuddled her in my arms hugging her softly.
“Uncle James?” I asked Sum quietly, she looked at me pouted but tried to say it again.
“Uk-y Jam-s!” She laughed. I smiled Uky Jams was a good name for me. I could hear Ade and Sirius talking about me in muffled voiced on the sofa, I ignored them though. It seems Summer is seriously the only girl I can count on to make me smile. I nodded my head fakly and played with her barbies with her. Summer is beautiful.
“Sum, come here babe we’re going for a walk,” Ade called, my heart dropped. Now Summer’s being took off of me.
Once Summer and Ade had left the room, I felt a pair of eyes on me watching my every move; that was kind of sad as I wasn’t moving per say … breathing. I looked up at my best mate and his eyes showed all of the concern whilst is lips twitched up into a smirk when I looked at him, I smirked too. I shouldn’t let her do this too me. I figured out years ago that all she was going to do was stamp all over my heart; I was a fool for thinking this time would be different.
“Can we get drunk?” I asked, Sirius’ smirk turned into a full on grin. Yeah we know how to get over girls.
“FUCK YES!” We wooped as he ran up the stairs and grabbed four bottles of FireWhiskey from underneath his bed. I smirked. I was getting wrecked tonight.
“SHHHH!” I all but shouted into Sirius’ face making even more noise than he had attempting to catch that suit of armour he knocked down. He grinned and I fell over him laying on my back laughing, the clanging rung in my ears still. I covered my ears and rocked back and forward, you know like mental patients do.
“PRONGS! FOUND YOUR HOUSE!” Sirius shouted inconspicuously, he smacked his head on the portrait. I felt the moist tears pour out my eyes. I went to put my foot on the floor and pull myself up, except I couldn’t find my foot! It got up and walked away without me
“I’VE LOST MY FOOT PADS!” I whispered to him, he turned around and his face was full of shock. He ran at me and took a hold of my leg, searching for the missing foot that obviously wasn’t on my ankle! What was I going to do? I can’t live without my foot? How am I supposed to walk? How am I supposed to turn Animugus? What’s the point of a stag with no foot, or hoof or whatever?!
“FOOT!? FOOT WHERE ARE YOU?” Pads started shouting, patting the floor like my foot would run straight at us and jump excitedly on out legs - I really hoped so. We both stayed silent, listening for any sounds to indicate my foot coming back to us.
“What. The. Fuck.” Someone whispered from the portrait hole, I snapped my head round, hoping to find my foot had grown lips and learnt how to talk! Nope. Just Ade. And Evans.
“Oh it’s just you,” I sighed and started pating the floor again, “come on foot, you know I love you, come back to me!” I cried, it was hysterical you know. Not having your foot, the one in which you hugged whilst you slept; it was like a part of me was missed. I felt the tears run down my face and soon I knew I was sobbing.
“ADE BABY! LOVE OF MY LIFE!” Pads threw himself on Ade, completely forgetting that I was here, I let my frustrations flow out of my eyes in tears. First I lose Evans, then I lose my favourite companion - my foot - and now I lose my best friend Sirius! My life was so unfair! Even Sirius got the beautiful baby! I want a beautiful baby!
So the other night really wasn’t the best idea in the world, for several different reasons:
1. I still have a hangover and its Monday morning
2. Found my foot - there was lots of shit on it, no I don’t know but its still all there
3. If Lily was pissed before, she’s fucking fuming now
4. She had actually made me sleep in my bed last night.
It was horrible, I couldn’t sleep without her warm body next to mine and her red hair spurred out on the pillow next to me. The way her body pressed against me like I was the most important person in the world. Even when she was mad on Saturday night, she rolled into me and slept on my chest like I was the only pillow she ever wanted. I knew she was the only cover I ever did.
This morning I was the red of my hangings instead of the beautiful face that I was accustomed to. I missed her last night, and I don’t know any words that could possibly explain how much she truly means to me. I know most people think I’m fucking around when it comes to my Lily Evans; but I’m not. And this weekend has made me realise how much I NEED her in my life… forever.
I rolled sloppily out of bed and landed on the floor; not even that was fun without Lil’s tinkling laugh that she never failed to provide me with every morning. Slouching down the stairs, my eyes scanned our private common room, looking for Lily; I really want to talk to her, sort us out.
If they’re even is an us at the moment.
Summer and Ade were back on the sofa, Ade ranting animatedly to Lil; probably about Sirius. Wonder what he’s done this time?
She knew I was there, Ade slowed down a bit and Lily stiffened. She wasn’t going to turn around though, she was going to be a stubborn little girl and I was not going to crack first. I walked over to the coffee maker that we’d put there and pressed the button for the caffeine goodness, still staring at Lily’s head. She was moving around a lot, fidgeting with the hem of the sofa and twirling her long locks around her pinky finger - she was nervous.
“Nothing to be nervous Lil’s, its only me,” I questioned quietly, not wanting to be cocky. She hates that.
“UKY JAM!!” Summer shouted and crawled over to my legs, grabbing my bare flesh wanting to be picked up. I spun her around quickly and snuggled her to my chest. She giggled and pushed away,
“A LLY!” She laughed happily and ushered Lily over to us… I swear I love this little girl.
Lily shiftly shuffled over to us, twiddling with her thumbs. Uncomfortable around me. My heart nearly shattered.
I would never do anything to hurt her. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, and she doesn’t even want to be around me anymore.
I kept a firm grip on Summers waist as she flung herself forward into Lily’s arms. She caught her without a second breath and I loved how the muscles in her mouth easily worked themselves up into a smile around the little one. I loved how her skin shone with radiance; I’d always admired that about her. The way no matter how dramatic or unwanting of the situation, she was always be radiant.
I noticed her begin to back away from me, trying to coax Summer out of my arms. I stepped forward and wrapped my arm firmly around her waist and pressing myself up against her. Summer giggled as I leant into Lily’s ear.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you… but I love you and I’m here. Always,” the words flowed from my mouth, I didn’t even realise that I’d said them until I heard them. They were true though.
I loved Lily Evans so much that it fucking hurt.
Especially when she was being like this with me.
I sloppily kissed Summers head before surrendering her to Lil’s. I kissed Ade’s head quickly,
“Don’t be too harsh on him, you know he’s a prick,”
As I wandered back up the stairs and into our bathroom,
“Pft say that again,” Ade laughed.
Standing in the shower, allowing the water flow over my body, my eyes closed and I thought about everything.
That first day of Sixth Year on the train, the panic and frustration rippling off of her body as she realised Ade wasn’t there. Her emerald eyes were torn to pieces, and it took everything I had not to wrap her up in my arms; she got angry too. Not at me this time. Sirius acted like he wasn’t assed and Lily freaked out; he was though he was heart broken without her.
Two days later when Pads and I were sitting on the sofa starring into the fire, like Ade was going to appear any minute; I missed her too. She was the laughter in the storm, for everyone. The way Lil shyly shuffled over to us and plonked herself down next to Sirius and I. She lay back against Sirius and cried quietly into him; I remember how jealous I got, even in that moment. I pushed that away though, I rubbed her leg comfortingly. She needed Sirius, and Sirius needed her.
Breakfast, lunch, dinner.
She sat with us. Our sprits gradually got up.
We gradually realised she wasn’t coming back; and there was nothing we could do.
Lily was heart broken… and I fixed her.
I was heart broken… and she fixed me.
The day I asked her out for the last time, her ivory skin gained a little pink colour. I remember rubbing my hand over her cheek softly, smiling a true smile at her. I remember how her throat got dry, so she just nodded and smiled some more. I remember the way my heart pounded against my chest in happiness and I remember the way she looked. The red in her hair shining powerfully around her, making her skin look even paler and even more gorgeous than it originally did; the way her legs were shaking just a little bit, and no-one would have noticed unless they were looking extra close; her emerald eyes just started getting whole again, they looked happier than they’d been in ages. And that made my day.
Our first proper kiss, at the end of the date we were stood outside the portrait hole in Gryffindor Common room and she looked expectantly in her shorts and grey and white vest top that gave her more curves than I had noticed before. She grinned at me and raised her eyebrows, I remember thinking that I want to get to know this new side of Lily Evans.
“Am I not getting a kiss?” She asked mockingly, I remember smirking and just swooping her lips onto mine. I remember the warmth and moistness of her mouth, I remember her tongue running her way through my lips making the kiss deeper. I remember the moan coming from her as her body pressed up against me; I remember that little smile she had as we pulled away. I remember her grin as I said,
“Your mine now, right?” I remember how nervous I was, and I remember how her lips spoke the words I wanted to know.
The first time Lily stayed in our dorm room, I remember how awkward she felt sitting on the bed in my boxer shorts and t-shirt as the boys started to strip to get into their own bed. I remember Sirius winking and Lil’s throwing a pillow at him. I remember the way she looked, the way she looked even better in my clothes than I did; we were getting serious now and I wanted her forever. When we both shut the curtains around my bed and lay down together, the way her head fit under my arm and she leant her chin on my chest so she could look up at me. Her hair was mussed all over the place already, but she was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I remember the way her body stayed close to me all night as my arm wrapped around her stomach protectively. And I remember waking up to her gorgeous lips that had suddenly dominated my life.
That’s when I realised… that was the first time that I’d ever told her that I loved her.
I bolted out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my middle and rushed to the top of the stairs… no-one was there.
My heart dropped once more; I might have lost her for real now. I walked into my room with distaste. I hated this room, I wanted to be back with my Lily… at weekends I just wanted to stay in bed with her and make her smile and laugh as she went over all of her homework. I wanted to walk around Hogwarts, with my Head Boy badge and the most beautiful girl under my arm… showing everyone that persistence pays of.
I’ve had the girl of my dreams.
And I think I might have just lost her.
“This bed’s not a comfy as my bed is it?” a timid voice, brought me out of my thoughts. I turned around, just to see a nervous Lily perched on the end of the bed I slept in last night. I just looked at her in confusion. Before she didn’t even want to be around me.
“Did you sleep well?” She carried on, making contact with my eyes. I coughed and cleared my voice before answering her.
“Nope, I missed you,” I answered her, pulling out a pair of boxers from my draw and pulling them on underneath the towel; I couldn’t look at her… it truly hurt me. I heard movement, and there she is standing in front of me… staring with a gaze so soft I wanted to wrap it up and keep it in my back pocket.
“Come back,” She said so quietly that I nearly missed it. She moved forward and pressed her lips to mine. I smiled softly and began kissing her back… I actually love you.
“I love you James, I’m such a bitch,” She sighed as I rested my forehead against hers. I kissed her nose playfully
“I love you so much…” I told her.
I’ve got my girl back.
Seriously… be jealous.
autors note: hey, i know this chapter isn't as long as the others, but i wanted to get across how much James loves Lily and a little of her mood swings. hope you like it...
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