Chapter 3 : Start Again - Lily
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I knew Ade was trying to be concerned about the situation, but I could see past her façade. She just wanted to hold her baby I her arms. I get it, I really do. Summer is the most gorgeous little girl I’ve ever seen, of course that was to be expected considering her mother is Adriana Bells and her father Sirius Black. Most of the time I wonder how I’m not terribly depressed having a best friend as gorgeous as Ade, I mean no bloke would look my way ever when I was standing next to Ade.
Anyway, this isn’t the time for little memoirs into my life. We need to get to a Healer. I knew by just saying Amelia Potter is hurt, would draw a lot of Healers to our attention; I wasn’t overacting when I said that she’s truly up there with the greats. No-one could let anything happen to her, she was the face of everything good in this god-damned world which was really starting to mean something now-a-days.
“Amelia Potter! Help!” I shouted and Ade followed my lead, just shouting and allowing the tears to fall down her face. I did too, knowing how much attention we would get.
“Excuse me, what did you just say?” A healer asked, he was wearing green. We needed someone further up the ranks than that; however coming on the Amelia Potter case would probably to wonders for his resume,
“Amelia Potter, she’s hurt. She’s my boyfriends mother! Please someone help us!” I told him grabbing hold of the mans robes for dramatic effect, he was petrified of me. I like knowing that.
“Right, I’ll get help!” He squeaked and he ran as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him, he looked a bit like Peter Pettigrew… poor fellow.
“Whoa, Lils you should be an actress!” Ade laughed and I grinned bumping her hip with mine. It had been a long time since we’d spent any quality time together, and it was brilliant. She would always be my best friend, no matter how much crap she throws my way. I’m there for her and for Summer forever. After all Summer is partly named after me.
“Miss…” A healer supporting purple robes approached us,
“Evans, Lily Evans that’s Adriana Bells,” I answered nodding at Ade again who started up her show again.
“Of course I am familiar with Miss Bells,” He paused whilst Ade looked away embarrassed hmm wonder what happened there? “Miss Evans I understand you believe Mrs Potter is in trouble?” He asked me slowly.
“By boyfriends best friend came to us an told us to get help! So just give us help! I don’t know what’s wrong with her?” I cried leaning back on Ade, she started to stroke my head; it did soften my head to be fair.
“Let’s get going then,” The healer said stony face. I actually did start to cry a little then, she best be okay. I don’t know what would happen if anything happened to Mrs Potter, the whole wizarding country would go into mourning, and then the evil bastards would take advantage of that and kill everyone! So please be okay Mrs Potter. Just please.
“WHERE IS SHE?!” We simultaneously shouted, hoping that one of the boys would hear us.
“Um-am!” Summer laughed at the shocked faces of us all. There sitting upon the sofa was James, Summer, Sirius and Mrs Potter. Perfectly okay. Even though my heart breathed a sigh of relief, the boys sent us on a wild goose chase.
I’m sure the healers and Ade had the same expression on their faces as James, Sirius and Mrs Potter held the same sheepish looks on the face, their heads actually ducking down into their necks slightly. I waited for one of them to explain the situation, and obviously Sirius and James weren’t stepping up to the job.
“Now, sir this is no reason for you and your team to be here; as you can see I’m fine. It was just a shock you know, meeting your grandchild for the first time! And she surprised me!” Amelia looked just as sheepish as James looks when he gets caught at something whilst we’re in school, so with her I just have to laugh as well. They both look as cute and adorable as each other.
Ade rolled her eyes and went to pick Summer up out of James arms. She cooed and played with her on the floor, Amelia left and escorted the Healers back so that everyone knew that she was okay. I went and sat next to James, laying my head on his chest happily smiling at how good Ade was with Summer. Ade was always the type to look down on people, she didn’t mean to and neither did I but people noticed with her and she didn’t try to change; I was a bit wary about their bond and how they would click together. But they really do. They’re really good together.
And then theirs Sirius. It’s obvious how much that he adores Summer already just after one day; his world revolved around her now, his eyes glued to her just to make sure she was okay. For me this was a new experience as it was always Ade that he was looking at and now she was there but he didn’t seem to care. He was good with Summer too, and she obviously recognised him as her daddy, no matter what other guy that was standing in for him these past 10 months.
“How good are they,” James whispered into my ear quietly looking in their direction.
“I can’t believe they’ve got a baby,” I said back quietly, I looked at James inconspicuously. He was staring at Summer with a little gleam in his eye. He wanted a baby. I did too.
“Do you think they’ll get back together?” I asked him, meaning Ade and Sirius. Always I had thought that they’d end up together, because of the things that they do and put up with from each other; but this had taken a chunk out of Ade and a chunk out of Sirius and now I’m not to sure if they’ll ever end up back together - where there supposed to be.
“I sure hope so. Look at that smile on Summer’s face because her mummy and daddy are both playing with her; she loves it.” James whispered back, I did look too. She did love it. Her laugh filled the room making everyone laugh along with her.
It was funny that in just one day she had us all wrapped around her little finger, completely irrevocably in love with her. But then again, she has got Adriana Bells and Sirius Black for parents. Merlin help and boy in school with her; she’s going to break some hearts and Sirius break some faces. I giggled quietly at the image.
“What?” James nudged me playfully.
“Imagine 15 years from now, and she’s bringing home her first serious boyfriend. Sirius would beat the shit out of him just for holding her hand,” I giggled… fathers.
“I’d hold the bastard down,” James said in all seriousness, I laughed. Typical.
I sat there, smiling in content at my life right now. Of course I’ve never had a particularly bad school life; in fact its been the time of my life. I know that studies, studies and more studies isn’t an amazing way to go through your school like; but it is, in a way I mean. I’ll get the good grades, I’ll get into the acadamys I’ll prove to my family that it was worth my coming to Hogwarts. As for my social status? Well that’s booming, I’ve had Ade until sixth year, and by then I knew how to handle myself … and James.
In fairness to the quality of my life, I owe it to Ade. She showed me not to give a flying fuck what people thought of you, the only opinion of yourself that matters is your own. She’s my best friend and I truly couldn’t have gotten through last year if it weren’t for Sirius and James.
I know, I know I fucking hated them so much in fifth year; but when someone leaves you pull closer to whom they were close to. Sirius and James.
And they’re pretty alright.
I looked up at James, his arm still wrapped tightly around my waist holding on to me; it was the best feeling in the world you know? Being wanted. Being needed. His raven-coloured hair stuck up - looking like it had hands running through it permanently, course it did, his own. His hair - though I’ll never admit it too him - was what made him as gorgeous as he is. It shone. It had always caught my eye, I had always wanted my hands to be the ones running through.
There was a little smile playing on his lips as he watched Summer, Sirius and Ade. An actual smile. There rare you know? It’s usually a smirk. But this was a smile, one where his cheeks turn up as well as his lips. He looked so happy and … content. He was seriously amazing.
I leaned my chin on his well defined abs, just staring at his face. It makes me smile. I didn’t ever want to let this go.
Because we do work. And I know we do.
I want us to work forever.
He looked down at me with the most precious and loving smile that I had ever seen on anyone’s face, and it made my heart swell up. He actually thought I was the world. He didn’t think I was a ’useless bint’. He made it all better.
“Hey baby,” He said kissing my nose lightly, I smiled slightly. This little show of affection did a lot for a girl.
“Hey,” I said, locking my green eyes with his hazel. Do you know stags? The colour of their fur is so beautiful, it’s not quiet brown but bares no resemblance to any other colour on the chart? That colour is my James’ eyes - I think that’s where his nickname Prongs comes from. I don’t know, he’s never told me.
“We didn’t have our day,” He said, his smile tugging downwards making it noticeable for me to see the sadness behind the words erupting from his mouth. I smiled and traced a smile on his face, happy to see his lips participating.
“It’s okay. We’re at Hogwarts in a few days, we can have plenty of days,” I said gracefully, knowing that this wasn’t what he was implying . We were never alone anymore, we never had a full day of just me and him. It was always with Sirius or Remus or Petunia and her boyfriend being complete idiots. I missed us too.
“Lil…” He groaned and leaned his head into my shoulder, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t move. I ran my hands through his hair, marvelling in the softness of it. I missed him too.
“We could go now,” He whispered, he knew it was a bad idea. He knew Sirius + Ade as well as I did, and they were not in a state to be left alone with their baby.
“James… you know we cant,” I sighed, starting to softly massage the back of his head. Not that I didn’t want to - course I wanted to… but I couldn’t leave Ade and Sirius in such a unreliable mental state.
“Urg,” He sighed kissing my shoulder lightly.
“Lil I really don’t like you being here,” James told me as we neared my house, I rolled my eyes. This was the fifth time he’d said this in 5 minutes. He didn’t like it because Petunia’s boyfriend had moved in with us, meaning that I didn’t just get ignored, I got bullied.
I was used to it though, Vernon always came in the summers I was home.
James hated it.
“Seriously James, it’s fine. I can handle myself!” I laughed, loving how protective he is over me; just think two years ago I would have completely blew up and went crazy on his ass!
“I still don’t like it,” He said stubbornly wrapping his big arms around y tender waist making me feel more safe than ever before.
“I’m legal,” I simply stated,
“Don’t I know it,” James smirked and started nibbling at my ear, I laughed! Not because of the intense satisfaction that was rolling around my body, but the way he always made me seem more exciting and more fun then I could be on my own.
“You know what I mean!” I swatted him away and carried on walking, his arms still attached to my waist.
“Come to mine! My mum wont mind, and Summers staying tonight so Sirius will be occupied! Please” He begged, he actually looked at the point where he would get on his knee’s and pray, I turned around and kissed his nose.
“They’re not chasing me out of my own house,” I said finally. I was fed up of having to tip-toe around that large excuse of a male in my own home; scared that he would abuse me and Tuney would stand their and laugh. But today, afer seeing how strong Ade had become, made me so determined to live my last summer in my house, unafraid of things that were going to happen.
“Let me stay with you? Just so I know your safe,” From the look in James’ eyes he knew it was a long-shot, but me? I liked the idea. And dad likes James, and he’s my boyfriend. And I have really missed him. I nodded my head
“C’mon then,” I winked and kissed his lips tauntingly before getting free of his arms and swinging my hips slightly but noticeably in front of James, completely aware of the awed expression smothering his face.
“Wait!” James shouted and then he’s behind me trailing butterfly kisses along my neck seductively.
This was going to be a fun night.
Okay, I know its mean to say this but I can’t help it: Ade looks like she’s in so much pain!
I know what your thinking, bitch isn’t she meant to be your best mate, but yes indeed she is. Want to know why she’s in so much pain? The attention!
Ade Bells is in pain because she’s getting too much attention, indeed a sentence I never thought I would say in a million years.
Its half ten and we’re already on the train, I know it doesn’t leave until 11 but Ade didn’t want to walk through a platform with everyone and Summer, she thought that getting here half an hour early was going to stop that. She was completely wrong. So many people had stopped her and said ‘Is she yours? Whoa, well can’t say never saw it coming’, got to admit no matter how harsh that one was it did make me laugh inside. Outside I took points - well I am Head Girl. There were whispers too,
‘is that Adriana Bells?’
‘whoa, when did she get back?’
‘whys she got a baby?’
‘you don’t think….’
Indeed I did think it was funny that she was stressing over this; this is Hogwarts, your secrets will be all out by tomorrow tops! Gossip is something other than grade that us Hogwartians pride ourselves upon. I know this doesn’t sound the best for the Hogwarts reputation, however there is always something ground-braking going on with the students or the teachers; which in Ade’s situation is good meaning the chat will last for about two days before they move on to something different.
I don’t approve or join in with these things of course - god no, I just know how everything works, which in high height got me my Head Girl position.
We’re in a compartment, as in Ade, Summer and I, she’s ranting about how Summer is only a little girl and they act like they’ve never seen one before - which of course is hilarious and I can’t even keep a straight face as she rattles on and on about this little subject, she’s extremely touchy about this aspect of her life, I don’t blame her obviously but its still a little funny.
“Lily! Stop laughing! They’re like mocking my daughter!” She explained overdramatically, even making Summer - who was playing with her dolly in her car seat - laugh hysterically and point at Ade. I smiled and laughed with the little one, even pointing at her too.
“Funny mummy!” I said pulling tongues at Ade making Sum laugh and try and imitate me
“Fu-y mu-y!” She had such a proud excited grin on her face I could help but laugh along with her and even do a thumbs up at her. Ade just rolled her eyes and stroked her dark hair lightly.
“What’s going on with you and Sirius?” I asked about ten minutes later, just as I saw James and Sirius land on the terminal. She hadn’t told me nothing about what happened once James and I left the other night, and I know they had talked though Sum was sound asleep; just like she was now.
“Ha,” She started with a humourless laugh which made my stomach drop slightly, “He’s not happy I didn’t tell him in fifth year. I should have told his straight away, that’s what he said,” She paused and I kept my mouth shut knowing that she needed to vent, “He doesn’t get how scared I was that I was going too lose everything that we had ever had, he doesn’t understand. And then I brought up how he didn’t try hard enough why I was gone, he looked so angry Lil,” She cried looking up at me, the tears in her eyes threatening to overspill. “He won’t forgive me this time,”
My heart nearly broke for her right there and then, she always gives off the attitude like shes not assed about anyone or anything; she truly is though which makes this situation worse. I moved and sat next to her, wrapping my arms around her body comfortingly rubbing her arms as she cried.
She had just broken down. Adriana Bells, the strongest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing has just broken down on my shoulder- over Sirius Black. The love of her life and the father of her child.
One things for sure, something needed to be done about them two - with or without my help.
“Hey!” James bounded in smiling, completely oblivious to the state that I was now in as well. Sirius and Remus sat down as well, Sirius bragging to Remus.
“Isn’t she the most gorgeous thing ever,” He said pointing at Summer who was next to me.
My heart hitched, I knew that Ade would be mortified for any of the guys to see her like this; this weak.
“I’ll get rid,” I muttered and I fel her nod her head against my chest somberly,
“Guys where having a moment, could you fuck off?” I asked sweetly, and James immediately looked at me his eyes gazing at the puffyness and the redness present in my eyes.
“You’ve been crying,” He accused straight away coming straight to my side.
“Ade,” Sirius said softly also bending down next to us, I held on tighter to my best friend an put my head down knowing that this was the best thing for the situation, Ade wouldn’t want Sirius to know she was crying over him.
“Adriana, are you crying?” He said again, his finger going to touch her chin to tilt her head upwards.
“Lil, are you crying because she is?” James whispered into my ear, I nodded and transferred my weight onto his chest, letting the sobs that had just suddenly appeared ripple through my body. James held me tight though, I felt so safe and so loved.
“It’s okay babe,” He kept muttering rubbing my back and kissing my head.
Nothing was really even up with me; just emotional. Must be due on or something! I kissed James straight on the mouth, pouring enough passion into the kiss to show him how much he actually means to me and how much I appreciate everything he’s done with me and for me.
“You’re the best boyfriend,” I muttered against his lips as I turned and straddled him so that I had easier access to his mouth.
“I lo-like you so bad,” He muttered, kissing me again hungrily yet with the sweet touch still there. My mouth was on fire with the tingles and the joy that was sparking my skin. He made me feel so electric.
“Hem, guys…” Remus cleared his throat awkwardly, I giggled as James growled
“What’s up Rem?” I smiled, I noticed his hand holding onto Summer’s who was now awake
“Sirius and Ade just kind of stormed out together and are now screaming - I would but I don’t think Sum should see this,” He said, I laughed a little and turned to look at James; he was disappointed I could tell.
“C’mon baby,” I said and jumped off of him grabbing his hand and leading him out into the corridor so we could sort out our best friends,
“Hatin on the way we always get interrupted by them two,” He muttered and kissed my neck delicately, I smirked slightly and walked towards the raised voices and the crowds attempting to look inconspicuous.
“WHY CAN’T YOU KEEP ONE LOUSY PROMISE ADE!? IT’D MAKE EVERYTHING EASIER!” Sirius screamed into her face, whoa. Long time since they’ve shouted like that at each other.
“ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT FOR BEING A FUCKING PRAT!” She screamed back equally annoyed,
“How many more times d’ya reckon she could have said fucking there?” James stifled a laugh. I shot him a look.
“YOU HID HER FROM ME!”
“YOU DIDN’T LOOK HARD ENOUGH!”
“You where gone,” Sirius’ voice lowered to a whisper.
“I was petrified,” Ade’s voice matched his, I looked at James and nodded, time to instate our headman ship.
“Alright anyone left in the corridor that isn’t Sirius Black, Adriana Bells, James Potter or myself will have detention with Professor Binns tomorrow night,” I shouted ahead of everyone - surprise surprise the corridor cleared. Apparently Binns detentions are the worst - I wouldn’t know!
James and I led Sirius and Ade back to the compartment and took Rems and Sum out, she could come to our prefect meeting. They needed to talk everything out - civilly. This was already turning into a hectic year and we haven’t even made it to the castle yet.
This was our last year.
Our last year as Hogwarts students.
Our last year together.
Oh my life.
NEWTS are this year. As in this summer I’m going to be sitting my NEWT Examinations. As in mapping my whole life out.
And yes I’m freaking out. I mean this could mean that I turn hobo and live on the street! Or or or I end up in the ministry trying to suck up to posh peoples ass’ for a raise! Or or or I could be flying in the sky as a pro-quid ditch player - oh actually I suck at quid ditch so probably wont be that!
But anyway, I’m freaking out! Theres so much we need to know! There’s so much that hasn’t been introduced! I have to do well! I mean I just have to! Petunia and her stinking whale of a mate will be right about me! I’m just a freak with no talent! I mean I’m just pathetic anyway! I’ve always known it! No-one will want me! Everyone would rather me just drop dead in a pit and let the birds peck and me gnawing my limbs to pieces! THANKS EVERYONE LOVE YOU TOO!
I burst into outrageous tears, my face actually felt like it was leaking of all of the liquid in my body! No that can’t happen! Then I basically won’t be alive for NEWTS and then I’ll just die anyway! I think I’m hyperventilating, can’t exactly tell because I kinda can’t breathe.
Or hear anything - which you know could be alarming seeings though I’m in the middle of class?
I just felt a pair of arms wrap around me as the tears and the snot poured out of my body. Great! Now everyone is going to think I’m a dirty slug that doesn’t get a wash- there’s my social status down the drain! I should just drop dead now!!
“I-I-I-I shu-- dr-ro-p dee-eaaaaad!” I wailed into who I think may possibly be Ade, not to sure though. My career, my social standards, my friends, my boyfriend it’s all going down the drain because I can’t handle anything! I’m pathetic! Just like Tuney said! Well fuck you Tuney! You were right!
“T-tuu-n-n-neyy w-ass r-riggggght!” I wailed, my legs started to move so I’m guessing there evacuating me from the class room; they don’t want to see my ugly mug anymore! I knew it! I knew I was an ugly troll compared to Ade and Marlene! I should have been friends with Mary McDonald at least then guys would look at me! Why do I have to be the ugly duckling out of us three! ?Why can’t it be Adriana!? We all know she’d get the guy anyway! I’m so ugly!
“Ii-m-m s-soooooo ug-ggl-lyyy!” I screetched into the body, I felt circles being rubbed on my back! But it didn’t help! Didn’t help that I’m such a failure at life! I should have been drowned as a baby! It would have made everything a lot less difficult! And Mum and Dad always said they only wanted one daughter; they always wanted Petunia! I WAS MEANT TO DIE!
My eye sight was screwed, like completely fucked up I couldn’t see anything except red. I mean when people go blind it’s either white or black - or so the books say I’ve never truly experienced it myself. But red? That was just peculiar!
“Miss Evans? Can you lift your head for me?” A soft soothing voice said - good got my sound back, was weird not having that. Anyway I lifted my head, expecting to see more red. Alas no! I saw the white and blue of the hospital wing, oh and Madame Pomfrey and an amused Adriana.
“Miss Evans can you tell me the day and month in that order?” Madame Pomfrey asked me like I was a child. Excuse me, I’m Head Girl I must have some intelligence, however I’ll play along!
“7th Septemeber, right?” I asked pulling tongues at Ade who seemed to find this quite amusing - I don’t get her.
“That’s right, and your full name please?” right did I hit my head because these are starting to sound suspiciously like the amnesia questions from some muggle film?
“Lillian June Evans,” I answered snarling at the name ‘Lillian’, it was so posh and poised like someone constantly looking like they had shit on their upper lip!
“Right-o! well Miss Evans, you had a panic attack. A big one because of the upcoming exams, in summer so for now try to relax and everything will go back to normal. You may gather your things and leave,” the Nurse said before walking crisply away.
I lay my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes quickly, I heard Ade come to sit on the chair,
“Not a word,” I warned her, I knew it wouldn’t last though.
“I wasn’t gunna,” She smirked, however I knew her. And I knew she was dying to tease the daylights out of me. Bitch.
Right, start again.
hey, how do you like this chapter? better? worse? The panic attack real enough? i've never had one so i dont really know what one would be like, but that there was just my imagination running wild?
Also i want to say a BIG BIG thank youto BlueFairy who was my first reviewer and seriously made my day! so please review!!
Sorry another also, can anyone please make me a banner? TDA isn't working for me and i really don't know why! anyway thanks so much!
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