A group of young kids, around 14, were sitting in a circle on the floor. Music was blasting out of the speakers, and a few of the kids who weren’t in the circle were dancing around as best they could while slightly intoxicated.
There was an empty vodka bottle in the middle of the circle and a boy, mildly tipsy, was attempting to spin it. He was cute, with longish blonde hair and dark brown eyes. Finally, he managed to get it spinning.
It spun, and spun, and spun for what seemed like an eternity to all the girls in the circle. This boy, Colton, was the most popular in the grade, and all the girls were hoping that the bottle would point to them.
The bottle began to creep along slower, slower. Finally coming to rest pointing straight at a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. She blushed a deep scarlet. All the other girls looked put out and angry. Bee Everard, the girl who went off to a snobby private boarding school out of the country, got to kiss Colton? How could the world be so unfair?
Colton crawled across the circle towards her and her face got even more red. He stopped just in front of her smiled, and then leaned in.
It was sweet. Soft, quick, nothing complicated. Then he drew back. The two made eye contact, smiled at each other, and Colton leaned in again, much to the horror of every other female at the gathering. This kiss was longer, more urgent, and even had a little tongue. After a little while the other kids started to chant,
“Bee and Colton sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!” So highly embarrassed at their actions, the pair resurfaced and smiled at each other.
Neither 14 year old had ever had a real kiss before that moment.
“Shit.” I muttered under my breath. The footsteps were getting closer. I waited until I could see James’s shadow through the curtain on the opposite side of the bed, then I very slowly, and very carefully, lowered myself off the bed and onto the floor. I managed to get underneath the bed before James drew Sirius’s curtains.
“Oi! No girl? Padfoot, you’re slacking here!”
“Close the fucking curtains! My head hurts!”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a girl in here after a party.” James said, walking away and ignoring Sirius’s request. I rolled my eyes, which made my head hurt worse.
“What are you talking about? She’s right here.”
“There is no one there. Maybe you just had a good dream.” Well fuck. That was Remus.
“Wow, you really are sick. I didn’t get anything thrown at me.”
“Come on down to breakfast then. We’ll get you all fixed up.” James again.
“Yeah, uh alright, lemme just get dressed.” I felt Sirius get off the bed and something was kicked under the bed. My wand. Thank God neither of the other boys had seen it. After what felt like 20 minutes, the boys left the dorm room, still giving Sirius shit about not having gotten any action last night.
“Yo, didn’t I see you and Bee together last night?” James asked as they left, Sirius muttered something I didn’t quite get and then they were gone. I waited just to make sure.
And then I emerged. And I threw my clothes on from last night.
Then the walk of shame began. Down the boys staircase and even into the common room, I saw no one. But of course, when I got up to my room, Lily was sitting on my bed.
“Nice of you to show up. Not like its 11 in the morning or anything,” I smiled sheepishly and ran a hand through my knotted and nasty hair.
“Yeah, long night.”
“I’ll say, You smell awful and you look like absolute shit. Go shower then get your ass back out here and tell me what hell you were doing out all night.” God I loved Lily.
“You can’t remember?” She was skeptical.
“No. I woke up in a broom cupboard and thats all I know.”
“Well the last time I saw you you were with Sirius. Do you remember if anything happened with him?” My blood ran cold. Lie! said a voice inside my head. I listened.
“Ew Lily. Not in a million years.”
“Never say never.”
“You say never all the time.”
“Yeah but thats about Potter.”
“You two are going to get married.” She threw a pillow at me.
“Shut up and get dressed.”
“I am dressed!”
“In real clothes. You’re not going to Hogsmeade wearing sweats and no bra.” Oh yeah. That was this weekend wasn’t it. I groaned.
“Shut up please.” Lily said as she made her way over to my dresser. “Here! Perfect!” She said after a minute and threw me some clothes.
Fifteen minutes later, after Lily and I had a small spat over weather or not I needed to wear makeup, we emerged from the dorm. Lily sporting a pale blue skirt, a pretty black blouse and a triumphant smile. And me, wearing some skinny jeans, a cute purple top and some mascara.
We had been in Hogsmeade for two and a half hours. A long time by my standards, when Lily finally decided she wanted to go to the Three Broomsticks. We had been to Zonko’s, Honeyduke’s and even went shopping in a small store that Lily loved. She’d made me buy a dress. I hadn’t spoken to her for the next twenty minutes.
We were drawing near the Three Broomsticks when I heard my name being called from somewhere behind me. It was Gabe, he was with a small group of his Ravenclaw friends and he was waving Lily and I down. Lily grumbled something about a girls day, but I ignored her and waved back.
A few of the group broke off and headed towards Zonko’s, but Gabe, Cole and Declan Wood continued towards us. I wasn’t really all to close with Declan. I knew he was friends with my friends, we had spoken a few times and we said hello in the corridors, but that was really it. Declan was tall, clean cut, muscular, and very, very attractive. He had this light brown hair that swept across his forehead, and these striking blue eyes that sparkled in the light. His smile was a huge grin and when he laughed it was booming and contagious. He was also the Ravenclaw captain.
“Oi there Bee, Lily.” Gabe said nodding to us.
“Care to join us on our little expedition to the Three Broomsticks?” I was about to decline, (I had promised Lily a girls day) but she beat me to it, surprisingly with a breathy yes. Declan smiled at her, and the dots connected. She had the hots for Wood!
The five of us had been sitting there eating and drinking for about fifteen minutes when Sirius, James, Remus and Peter walked in, laughing loudly. Lily stiffened for a moment, and then began flirting shamelessly with Declan, who obviously knew what was going on and merely smirked and played along.
I froze up because Sirius sent me a look from across the whole pub. Our eyes locked. His gaze was intent, like he was trying to read my thoughts. Then as we continued to gaze at each other his urgency melted away. His expression turned soft, and then we were just... looking at each other.
I vaguely registered my name being called, I was so lost in this moment of just looking him. From across the whole room! We must have looked like fools, and I’m sure everyone noticed, but at that moment I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Then last night came flooding back to me. Well, parts of it.
My vision was blurry, but I could see Sirius’s face in front of me. He had his eyes closed, as if he were sleeping. “Sirius.” I had whispered. One of his eyes opened, “Yeah Bee?” “You didn’t make a move.” He smiled and closed his eye again. “I promised I wouldn’t.” “Yeah but I figured you were bull shitting me.” Both eyes opened at this. “I wouldn’t do that Braxtany.” “Good to know.” I muttered. We looked into each others eyes for a moment. His were storm gray, but there were small flecks of light blue that I had never taken the time to notice before. At the moment these works of art were expressing a million different emotions at such a fast pace that the only ones I really caught, I didn’t have time to place. “Tell me something?” He asked “Maybe. Depends what you want to know.” “No, just. Tell me something about yourself. Anything.” “Thats an odd request.” He shrugged. “Maybe.” He replied simply. I paused and thought about it for a minute. “There’s not much to tell. I’m nothing special.” “Well I know thats a lie.” “Well if you’re so good at picking out my lies I have a game for you.” I said, sitting up. He mirrored me and we sat cross legged facing each other. “What’s the game?” “Two truths and a lie. I’ll go first. All you have to do is figure out which one is a lie.” “Sounds easy enough.” I smirked. “Ok. So, 1) When we first met I thought you were the best looking bloke I had ever seen. 2) It took me five years before I cried about my father’s death. and 3) When I was younger I was in love with my best friend Devon for about three years.” He looked at me for a moment, thinking. “Well? Which is the lie?” “I’m not sure. You were a right bitch when we first met, so I doubt the first one. And I didn’t even know your father had passed. I’m really sorry.” I shrugged. “That’s not an answer.” “Hm, the second one.” “You lose.” “Really? Braxtany! Five years? Were you not close to your father or something?” I gritted my teeth and tried not to let him see my emotions. “We were the closest you could be.” I don’t think my reaction fooled him though, because he reached over to me and took my hand in both of his. It took all I had to keep the memory of my father out of my mind and to resist the urge to cry. “So guess again. “Number one? You thought I was good looking?” “You lose again. God, you really suck at this game.” “Wait really? You thought I was the best looking bloke you’d ever met?” “I did, yes.”
“Well do you still?” “I suppose you’re up there.” He beamed. “So then you didn’t like Devon when you were younger?” I shook my head. “Nah, he’s always just been a brother. But it’s your turn now.” He paused for a moment, thinking. His hand still on my own. But it was nice, comforting. I didn’t want him to move it.
“Braxtany!” Gabe punched my side, which secured Lily my attention.
“Bloody buggering hell Gabe! What the fuck?” He just smirked. Lily looked at me exasperatedly.
“Bee, you’re so cliche is ridiculous.”
“Are you taking the piss?” She glared. She hated that expression. “Sorry, what are you on about?”
“Lost is his gaze much?” Cole sniggered. I tapped my wand against the table threateningly. He rolled his eyes.
“I have to use the loo.” I announced, standing up abruptly. Lily sighed.
“Sure you do Bee.” I chose to ignore her and took off as fast as I could to the ladies room to get away from it all.
Lost in his gaze? Cliche? Me? Fuck. No. I hated all that crap. It was all shit. Shit, shit, shit. I sat down in the stall and put my head in my hands. I don’t know how or why Sirius sucked me into that weird staring contest, but nothing like that was ever going to happen again. The arrogant git probably thinks that little show just now means I want him and he can get into my pants. He’s oh so wrong. I splashed some water on my face to cool down and took a deep breath. It was relaxing.
“Ready?” I nodded. “Alright, 1) Regulus and I have this place where we go to talk by a brook behind our house that our parents don’t know about. 2) I’m utterly in love with you. 3) James and I have never been in a fight where we didn’t talk to each other.” He finished, but I was still caught up on that ugly “L” word. “Uh, two. Obviously.” He made a really loud buzzing sound to notify me that I was, unfortunately, wrong. I chose to ignore it and continued the game. “Alright, then one. You and Regulus don’t even speak.” “Bingo!” “I win! I got mine with two guesses! You took all three!” It scared me a little that I, who did not care about Sirius Black, knew him pretty decently. He smiled. “What do you win?” He winked at me. I was to sleepy to be angry at him about his suggestive comment. “Sleep. I win the right to go to bed.” “No, no, no! Bee! That’s only two things, small things, I want to know more. Tell me more.” “Uh, well. I like to read. And Devon is my very best friend in the world. I’m soon to be a big sister.” We went on like that for a little while. I remember him talking about his brother though. About the fact that he was worried for him. Afraid that Regulus wouldn’t be able to get out, that he’d be stuck on the path his parents wanted him on and Sirius wouldn’t be able to help. Sirius was worried for James and the Potters as well. They had been so kind to him whenever he needed to get away. But if his family or the Death Eaters wanted to to take revenge on the “Blood Traitor” Sirius Black, they would take the Potters down as well. It was a dangerous business he felt like he was endangering everyone close to him. I told him not to worry so much. He shouldn’t. The Dark Lord wasn’t that powerful. He had looked at me as if I needed to be checked into St. Mungo’s. And maybe I did, because following that I began to open up to him about my life. Not the small, minimal details I had been giving before, but an in depth look into my heart.
Someone pushed open the door to the girls bathroom slowly. I pretended like I had actually been using the toilet rather than just sitting there by flushing. I waited for a moment, then stepped outside the stall.
Sirius was standing there, waiting for me.
“What the bloody hell!” I yelled. “This is the girls bathroom! Female! What the fuck are you doing in here?” He shrugged. He just fucking shrugged.
“I needed to talk to you.”
“So you corner me? Get out of here! Now!”
“Talk to me first!”
“No! I have nothing to say to you!”
“Bee, why won’t you just talk to me?”
“Why? Because you’re a git, and I was drunk and it was a shit storm on both our parts. Thats why I don’t wanna talk to you about it. We can drop it yeah? Didn’t mean a thing and it’s just going to make our awkward acquaintanceship even worse. So lets just forget the idiotic lapse in judgement.” He looked baffled.
“Don’t stand there looking like an idiot!” I was almost crying, the way he was acting was confirming my growing suspicions. I had slept with Sirius Black. I was just another slag, maybe the last one left besides Lily. Shit, shit, shit!
“I can’t believe you finally got me in bed.” My voice was quiet now, defeated.
“Bee!” He cried, obviously alarmed at my assessment. “Bee! Calm down! We didn’t do anything. I mean, we kissed but then we fell asleep.” I looked up at him. Wait, what? I squeezed my eyes shit, thinking as hard as I could. I remember his arms, I remember his body moving against mine, the word beautiful and butterflies. What happened? I looked up at him and just like last time, when our eyes met, I remembered.
There was a quiet few minutes where I began to drift off into sleep. But then he spoke, softly, but with conviction. Like he really believed what he was saying. “You’re absolutely beautiful” My stomach did a weird clench then flip thing. Then there were butterflies inside. I didn’t respond for fear of what I might say. “ And I really have loved you since first year Bee.” I went into panic mode. My extreme, irrational phobia of the word “love” kicking in. Fight or flight, fight or flight? “No you haven’t. People can’t like people that long. It’s not natural, not healthy.” “James has loved Lily just as long.” I gave a very lady like snort. “James is certifiable. Like I said, not healthy.” He grinned, but then his gaze turned soft. “But I do love you.” I rolled my eyes and sunk into the covers, bringing the blanket over my face to cover my eyes. I was blushing a bit. When I brought my face up to look at him again, he brought his down. He gave me a quick kiss that left me breathless. My eyes fluttered shut and the only thing I was aware of were his lips on mine. When it became clear that he wasn’t going to do it again, I opened my eyes and gave him my best pout. He smiled. “We should go to bed.” I grumbled a bit, but let him pull me into an embrace, and the last thing I remember was falling asleep to the sound of his breath, chest rising and falling against me and his strong arms around me.
It was foggy, but it was there. I looked up at Sirius. Play it cool Everard, I told myself.
“I know Black. Get your mind out of the gutter.” The ferocity was back and he looked a little alarmed. “Just leave me alone. I don’t see how you don’t get that I don’t want to talk to you.” I then pushed him out the door, forcefully.
I was freaking out inside. The bathroom was small, and the close proximity had made my heart skip. Gross, my heart doesn’t skip. All that nonsense is for girls who fall for guys. I’m sick that’s all. My heart does not skip, and certainly not for Sirius Black.
Now I had to convince myself I was right.
Sorry it took so long! I've been packed busy, but you'll be glad to know I'm graduating and headed off to college next fall! Anyway, don't hate just cause it took so long. Feedback please!
I only have a week left of high school so the next few chapters should come up MUCH quicker than the previous ones.