A/N: I know, FINALLY! I was planning to make it really epic and cool to show how sorry I am for the long wait. I ended up with this. I hope you like it anyway…
The tea was strong and hot. Funny that two words used to describe tea could also be used to describe people, I thought vaguely as I took a sip. I was feeling hazy and sleepy, my eyes drooping as the Hatter continued to pour more and more tea and I continued to drink it. I could hear a soft melody from far away and to my tired mind it seemed that the trees were growing and swaying in time to the music. I could almost see them tearing their roots from the ground and waltzing with each other. I tried to point it out to the Hatter but he didn't seem to notice it or if he did it wasn't strange to him. Then again he was half mad so not a lot was.
"Hatter!" I said.
My voice came out wrong. It was my voice but it sounded like a distant echo. The Hatter turned his head slowly; everything seemed to be happening slowly.
"The trees. They're dancing."
"Well of course they are."
"Hatter, trees don't usually dance. It's impossible. What are they dancing to anyway."
"But where is the music coming from Hatter?"
"The flowers are singing." He gestured towards the flowers, whose faces were all turned up to the sun, there little mouths rounded into perfect O's.
"Hatter, am I in Wonderland?"
"You come here in your dreams, whenever you are sad or angry, troubled or stressed. Wonderland is your escape. You can't hide from your world forever though Ivy. Hiding from things makes you lose your muchness. Waking draws closer now, the real world is calling."
"I don't want to leave!"
"Fair farren Ivy."
"No. Hatter, wait! I like it here. Why can't I just stay?"
But he had already disappeared.
A narrow beam of light pricked at my tired eyes and I groaned in exasperation, I'd had the Ivy in Wonderland dream again. There was something about those dreams, every time I woke up from one I woke up more tired then I had been when I went to bed the previous night. Already the dream was gone and the only fleeting snatch that I could remember was the Hatter's voice saying, "Fair farren." I remembered that being a favourite line of mine. I had loved the Hatter. I clamped a hand over my eyes trying desperately to block out the sunlight. It seemed to be screaming at me.
"IVY GET UP!"
"IVY GET UP!" Michelle wrenched open the curtains and chucked something on top of me.
"Which one do you think I should wear?" I sat up groggily, dragging the items of clothing off of me so I could study them.
"Michelle, this is the school uniform." I stated matter-of-factly, flinging the skirts at her.
"Yes but one has pink glitter and the other has blue glitter."
I stared at her, she stared back. Imaginary crickets chirped.
"I thought you liked pink."
"Well I do but I thought I might try something different."
"Fred's favourite colour is blue isn't it?"
"Michelle," I whined, "Why do you always have to change yourself for guys! I'm not helping you." I laid back in my sheets trying to block her whinging out.
"WHAT?!" I shouted, my annoyance peaking at a dangerously high level.
"Calm down, I was just saying hello." James grinned as he caught up with me.
"Oh," I started, feeling my palms going sweaty and my stomach erupt with butterflies. Bloody Pathetic. "Michelle woke me up early (8:00) this morning so I could watch her agonise over whether she should wear the skirt with pink glitter or the skirt with blue glitter."
He stared at me, and I stared back. Imaginary crickets chirped. I struggled to look away.
"I thought she liked pink."
"She does. Fred likes blue. She's trying to change herself for him." I looked up at him expectantly.
"CUTE!" I exclaimed, "It's not cute, it's pathetic. She shouldn't have to change herself for him!"
"Oh don't be such a drama queen." he laughed, and then walked away to catch up with some other friends. He has millions so I'm not particularly special. Not that I cared at that moment in time. All I could think about was the fact that Potter thought it was cute that Michelle was changing herself for Fred. What if I started changing because I had feelings for him? Strong feelings. What if I wasn't me anymore? I was suddenly scared. I had always known who I was; I couldn't let unrequited feelings for some stupid prat ruin that.
No matter how gorgeous he was.
I guess it was lucky he didn't like me back; I didn't have to worry about not being me. Feeling depressed I trudged to Hagrid's hut. The rest of my Care of Magical Creatures class was already there and I sat down silently next to Tammy. The mood was lack lustre and the students picked at the grass boredly. Hagrid talked about the feeding process of some sort of baby creature that I didn't really care about and in my depression I almost forgot that I liked this class. All I was thinking about was the fact that I was just one of millions of friends, I bet he had snogged heaps of them too (the girl ones obviously.)
"Have you ever snogged Potter?" I breathed quietly to Tammy.
She laughed, "Are you insane? No. Potter would never snog me."
"Well not only does he not know who I am but I think he fancies one of my friends. A lot."
"Who?!" I demanded loudly, receiving a few glares from my fellow classmates. I shot them the bird.
"From that reaction I think she fancies him too."
She laughed again, "Work it out yourself Ivy."
"I hate you."
"Whatever, I'm not the blind idiot."
"Your face is a blind idiot,"
There was an awkward silence when we both realized that the class had risen about ten minutes ago. My cheeks flooded with heat as I stood to retrieve my baby something or other. It looked like an asparagus, HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO FEED IT?!
I began to pretend that I knew what I was doing while ignoring Tammy who was trying to get my attention.
"Did I tell you Isaac asked me out?" We both began to squeal and jump up and down in our excitement. I accidentally dropped my asparagus in the process. Good riddance.
I was angry. Very angry. What was it with people and changing. Michelle was doing it constantly, James thought it was cute and Tammy has changed herself to get Isaac. I had been so excited for her, remembering when I had found out she liked him and tried to get them together only to find out that he already had a girlfriend. I mean it wasn't a very good plan; all I did was push her into him but whatever. Anyway we were both so excited that after we finished jumping up and down and squealing and after I had told everyone to stop staring at us and mind their own business I had told her to tell me the entire story. Every juicy detail. I wished I hadn't.
She had dyed her hair, worn more makeup and found out his interests. At my shocked expression she had assured me that she wasn't changing for him, she was learning about him and herself. What a load of bull. The only reason he had even noticed her was because she had dyed her hair blonde and he preferred them. Maybe it was the only way, maybe to get Potter I'd need to be someone different, it was worth it right, Tammy was happy. With that it was decided. Potter would fancy me, even if it wasn't the me I wanted him to fancy.
I decided to skip the rest of my classes in order to do research. Before I could change myself I needed to know what kind of girls Potter was in to. Heading into the library I quickly spotted Michelle sitting in her blue glittered skirt 'studying' with Fred.
"Michelle, stop snogging Fred, I need your help."
"What the-" Fred started but stopped short at my death glare.
Be scared, Weasley.
"What do you want?" Michelle asked, her voice laced with irritation and fury that I completely ignored as we stepped away from Fred.
"Who has Potter dated before?"
"You have got to be kidding me!"
"Oh, I don't know. Most of them are Hufflepuffs."
“So they’re dumb and naive.”
“Kind and loyal.”
Michelle glared at me and I glared back before she finally gave in and said, “and giggly.”
“Giggly.” I repeated, attempting to hide my disgust.
“Yes giggly. Why do you care?”
“Ok, I don’t need you anymore. Go back to snogging Fred.”
“We’re fighting remember? Because you woke me up early.”
“But you just asked me for help!”
“I hate you.”
“I love you too.” I replied as she walked away.
I let out an annoyed groan as I stepped out of the library. It would be hard but I could dumb myself down, that I could do. But giggly. I could not under any circumstances, ever do giggly. I was moody and temperamental and not giggly. When I thought about it though that was the whole point, not being me. I didn’t know if I could do it.
My stomach growled as I wondered how long it was until lunch. I was sitting in the entrance hall approaching every Hufflepuff girl I saw walk by and asking whether they had ever dated James. So far all I had worked out was that Potter’s type was annoying.
Oh so blonde. I fingered my dark hair wondering if I could pull of blonde. I mean I already had the annoying down pat; it was just a different kind of annoying that I possessed. My annoying stemmed from being inconsiderate and grumpy while theirs was from being bubbly. Extremely bubbly. As in I think I might throw up if you giggle one more time bubbly. I couldn’t believe Potter actually liked girls like that, I had thought better of him.
“Ivy, what are you doing?” Fred stepped forward cautiously and I looked up from where I sat contemplating in the middle of the entrance hall.
“I’m going to dye my hair blonde.” I said grinning at him.
“Ok, well its lunch time so I’m just going to… um… go.”
“I’m going to dye my hair blonde after lunch.” I said, jumping up and skipping into the hall after him.
“Ivy, why are you skipping?” Fred asked as I caught up with him.
“I’m being bubbly,” I grinned maniacally.
“Just because! MY GOD, MUST THERE BE A REASON FOR EVERYTHING? STOP ASKING QUESTIONS, I’M LOSING PATIENCE!”
“Well that didn’t last long.”
I quickly plastered a grin that was more of a grimace onto my face. We ate lunch in silence, Freddy trying not to laugh at my constant smile and me failing not to laugh with him. It was pretty ridiculous. I decided to scratch the bubbly and just go with blonde.
Everyone in the common room turned to stare at me as I stepped down stairs.
They stopped staring and I kept my eyes on the floor repeating my mantra. It had started as, ‘James will love you blonde,’ and had turned into, ‘You do not look stupid.’
I couldn’t stop my hands from creeping up to touch the blonde abomination that sat on top of my head. I thought I might be sick.
You do not look stupid.
“What the hell Ivy?”
“Shut it Michelle, we’re fighting remember?”
You do not look stupid.
“Ivy, you look stupid.”
“I said shut it.”
You do not look stupid.
“I’m getting James.”
She ran out of the common room and I followed behind. I let her run ahead of me and stayed in the hallway. It was empty, it was good. I decided I would stay there forever. Or at least until it wasn’t empty anymore.
“Ivy, you complete and utter idiot, why are you blonde?”
I jumped at the sound of James’ voice.
“I did it for a guy.” I answered honestly.
“What stupid prick doesn’t like you as you are? I’ll bash him for you.”
I laughed, he looked confused.
“I thought you said it was cute. Don’t I look nice?”
“Yeah, Michelle sowing an interest in what Fred likes was cute, not this.”
“But don’t I look nice?” I repeated my question.
I glared at him. He ignored me and went on, “You look ridiculous and nothing like yourself. You’re you because you act like you don’t care about anything, you’re moody and temperamental and brunette,
don’t you realise that those are the reasons everyone who loves you, loves you?”
“I look like an idiot.”
“Indeed you do.”
“You aren’t supposed to agree you prat!” I exclaimed slapping him on the arm.
He didn’t even flinch. Bollocks.
He took out his wand and changed my hair back to brown. I played with a dark strand of it happily.
He grinned and hugged me. Omfghsjkngdd!
My brain left the building. James’ muscles were pressed against me, his arms wrapped around me and his warm breath near my ear as he whispered, “you’re welcome.”
When we broke apart I thought for a long time that we were going to kiss again and I was scared and excited all at the same time. Our noses were touching and I could have sworn his lips had brushed mine but he acted like nothing had happened. We were awkwardly silent as we began to walk to dinner. As we sat at the table and began to pile food onto our plates I said, “You know, I don’t ‘act’ like I don’t care, I seriously don’t care.”
“Bull, you dyed your hair blonde for some idiot who isn’t worth your time.”
“Call him an idiot again.”
“He’s a pompous, idiotic arsehole.”
I laughed until I cried. I could do this all day. Potter calling himself an idiot was priceless. My lips tingled for the rest of the night, confirming that our lips had brushed and making me happy and smiley and dare I say it, giggly.
“Good morning to you too Ivy.” Fred and Michelle greeted me.
“Glad to see you’re not blonde this morning.” Fred said.
“I’m way too hot for blonde hair.” I replied.
Fred laughed and began to eat his breakfast but stopped short, seeming to notice something. “Hey,” he said, “”Your glitters blue.”
Michelle smiled and I struggled to contain my shock that he had noticed something as trivial as Michelle’s glitter.
“What do you think?”
“You look hot,” he replied kissing her on the cheek, “Both ways.”
She blushed brightly and I grinned. I had never needed to warn Fred not to hurt Michelle when he had started dating her. He never would.
I was starting to believe that not all guys were complete prats. I had definitely woken up too early that morning.
Some food would get me thinking right.
A/N: Please don’t hate me, I know this chapter kind of sucks, a lot, but I just wanted to get one out. Just letting you know, the dreams Ivy has are pretty much as pointless as a dream you and I would have, Wonderland is where she has gone since she was little whenever she was upset about something, in this case it is being only friends with James. Please review.
Also I'd like to mention that I hate technology. ):