Chapter 1 : It's Alright, I know It's Right
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This song (“Songbird”) belongs to Fleetwood Mac
For you, there'll be no more crying,
For you, the sun will be shining,
And I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it’s right.
“Tori,” he says softly, his hand on my face, “I can’t do this anymore.”
I blink up at him. I knew this was coming, it was always in the rules. You can play, but that’s all it is: play. In the end, the best girl wins. And in this case, I wasn’t the best girl. And once again, it’s impossible for me to win.
“Just break up with her, Draco. I know that somewhere, deep down, you know this is right. We’re us. We’ve always been there, Draco.” It’s my last try. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I know what he’s going to say before he says it. He’s easy to read… he’s always been easy to read. When we were younger, Daphne used to talk to me. And back then, we even agreed that Draco was easy to read. If only we could still agree like we did then.
Though I’m sure at that age, we never could have foreseen the predicament we’re in today. Draco is with Daphne. Daphne wants to be with him. But he wants to be with me. And I want to be with him, though I can’t help but feel slightly bad for Daph. Sure, it was downright unnecessary when she wrote me that note.
Daphne always liked to win. And that note pushed me to my breaking point.
Well, I’m sure by now you’ve heard. If not, possibly you should invest in a subscription to Witch Weekly or even the Daily Prophet. But this was just a little note to tell you that I’ve won. Just like the princess games we played when we were little, I got the prince. And you will never have him. I hope you’re happy, Astoria.
I wish I could still love you like I did when we were kids. But remember, sisters can’t share everything, Tori.
Daphne soon-to-be Malfoy.
Draco and I always had a thing. We never had a relationship, it was never practical, and never, did we ever let anything come between us. Which is why I burned the note and continued snogging my sister’s finance. Because hey, in school we never paid attention to previous engagements.
But soon enough the guilt caught up to both of us. And somewhere on this delicate thing we had, I fell in love. I used to be carefully guarded. I let myself fall for the one person who was unobtainable. But somehow I knew that I could sway him.
He used to tell me that I’d be the death of him one day. And I think that is his way of telling me that he loves me. Or that’s what I like to tell myself.
“It’ll be the scandal of the century,” he says, but I know he agrees with me. He needs to agree with me.
“Bring on the haters,” I whisper, “It’s what’s right for us.”
To you, I'll give the world
to you, I'll never be cold
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it's right.
He came back to me. I knew he would. “Did she fight it?” I ask quietly. My flat seems almost dead tonight. There’s no street noise, no music from upstairs. Only him and me.
“Slightly,” he chokes.
Daphne was never much of a fighter. I’m the one who’s even worth fighting for. No, she was the nice sister. The one I needed to even myself out. But eventually, we grew apart. And I regret every last second I’ve spent without her in my life.
But I could never regret these moments I’ve spent with Draco. This is how the story goes, and I’m sure I’ll never be forgiven. She will never learn that this is a Darwinian world. Survival of the fittest, dear sister. And I’m more apt than she is to live here.
And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before.
There has been but one thing to come out of this (somewhat unfortunate) experience. I’ve fallen more in love with Draco. At school, we were a gossip source. Always together, then not. Who last found us in that broom cupboard or bathroom stall? The numbers were countless.
When Draco started Daphne, I couldn’t understand it. And at that family dinner when they announced their engagement, I couldn’t stand the pity looks from my parents,, from Daphne’s school friends, or even from Draco.
Three days later, he was on my doorstep, proclaiming his love for me. I don’t think you can imagine my reaction when he confessed that he was still engaged to Daphne. We could be friends, I decided, friends with occasional benefits.
I was to be in their wedding. I was the proclaimed Maid of Honor, but that wasn’t Daphne’s choice. Our mother chose that… Something about keeping the family together through titles.
But in that wedding, it wouldn’t be the Groomsmen sneaking out to the bathroom to make out with the Maid of Honor. No, it would have been the Groom himself. Thank Merlin he called off that wedding.
It saves me more guilt to use for later.
And I wish you all the love in the world,
But most of all, I wish it from myself.
When he cornered me in my room after the engagement party, I told him something I’ll never forget.
Go, Draco. Just leave. We both know who you really love, but if you want to play this game, let it be. Must be write out a rule-guide, or is it something unspoken? I hope she loves you the same way I do. I hope it’ll be everything you’re wishing for. I wish you two all the best, Draco.
Among that, I’ll never forget his expression. He didn’t say a word as he let himself out. And once I was sure he was gone, I did a very un-Astoria-like thing. I threw myself onto the bed and cried. I thrashed around the floor and sobbed. I destroyed anything and everything that showed my sisterhood with Daphne.
I folded up all of Draco’s love notes, put them in a trunk, and shrunk the trunk. Secretly, I kept them in my pocket until he came back to me. Because in that dark version of us, the letters were the only thing that kept me hanging on.
We’ll be forever us. I don’t think I could ever stay apart from you for very long, darling. And if I ever leave, just remember something. I’m probably on my way back.
That one was the one that soully told me about his return. He originally wrote it back in fifth year after a particularly violent break up. After receiving it, I smiled for three days.
The next time I saw him, I threw him into a broom cupboard. I smacked him on both cheeks, leaving a bruise on each. He insists to this day that I gave him a concussion. In response, he gave me six hickies.
So while Draco and I could probably never have a conventional relationship, at least we love each other. And at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before, like never before.