Chapter 1 : She never knew
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A world full of hate, interest and pride. A world where people tread you under their feet, lie you, sell you to achieve their interests. A world where people juggle with your feelings just for their own fun. A world that addresses false smiles, false words and hides thousands of secrets. A world unreliable. A world with evil minds. A false world full of mysteries. Here she lived, in the times the sun was still rising in our lives.
Didn't know how I would feel
I thought that I would never heal
I'm ok, I'm ok …
But she differed from the others. While the entire school yard was in total chaos and bustle, she sit calm and concerned. The same sharp and right on look; brown eyes which made me shudder just a simple contact. hair ruffled by the wind that was blowing released.
I miss what could, could have been
Late night calls that never end
I'm ok, I’m ok…
Time passed too quickly. None of us did have enough time and trust to pronounce their feelings, their true feelings. We were two children, with diffuse dusty memories. With a hug, we could change the world. Together. The warmth of her arms gave me the confidence that others tried to eliminate.
The words she said to me, often whispered, comforted me. I enjoyed hearing the soft beat of her heart. Often I could feel her absorbing me with your chocolate eyes, from such distance, although so close, but I was too drunk with her presence, having her in my every thought and everything I’ve done. I did.
I miss how you would hold me close
Like you'd never let me go
I'm ok, I'm ok…
A clap of the fate’s hands and everything was gone. Words on the wind, feeling consumed, smoked, lost ... lies, regrets. I was sitting there – she lied lifeless and cold before my eyes. I was part of a crowd, but it seemed there was no one else there. I had tears in my eyes and saw tears in their eyes.
My eyelids closed, and she was here with me again; her memory was alive. Just the way waves hit the shore everyday, just the way the sun rises every morning, so was my love: pure, sincere and irrevocable.
On my way home, the horn sound was diffuse. Bustle around me didn’t bother me. I couldn’t feel it. In the loneliness inside me, questions still grind. I ran fast, ran through life, to feel my heart coming out of the chest . A broken heart beats like always and, running, I would have stopped myself from feeling.
.Right now, I didn’t know a thing… I was wandering through thoughts, I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. A part of my soul wanted to be reborn, the other one was dead already.
Too soon forgetting what we had in mind., under the pressing of ordinary words. She neither wholly called me, nor left me at all. It seems there was an hesitation between our steps. Too soon forgetting what we had to say – a flight less, a fall in addition. There was summer in her eyes, but in mines it’s now cold.
And it still felt like she was knocking at the window.
“Ron?” a voice called in the darkness of my mind.
“Hermione?” a hopeful echo came from my throat.
Shut up! ... Shut up! .. I need peace. Don’t play with my head!
. Still, too much silence.
Why the hell does it anything to be so silent and empty without you?
Your smile, your touch is in the past
Accept the fact you're never coming back Oh no
I miss that love, loving you, miss everything
But here's the truth, I don't miss missing you
If the sun has to rise, why does it have to set, too? I guess that if I want there to be light again, I have to let this set, too… and say goodbye -I’ll neither really leave you wholly, nor call you at all.