Chapter 6 : wild
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“Why won’t you break up with him?” he asked me one night as we sat in his flat, sipping wine and talking.
I was startled by the question. He had never asked me why I wouldn’t break up with Lysander, he had only ever asked me to do it.
“I love him,” I said, because it was the only real answer. Looking back, I wish I would have lied, but Harvey had put me on the spot and the truth was the only thing that I could come up with.
I could tell Harvey didn’t like that answer. “You love him,” he scoffed, as if it were all one big sick joke. “Does that mean you don’t love me?”
His questioning had stunned me once again. I was smart enough this time to know that the truth, which was that I didn’t love him, would not be the right answer. Nothing good could have come of telling him I didn’t love him. So I told him that I did. Of course I did. How could I not?
“You love me more than him, don’t you?” he pressed on. It sounded more like he was challenging me than anything. It sounded like he was daring me to say no, and it was not a dare I felt brave enough to take.
“I love you more,” I told him, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.
Lying to Harvey was almost as scary as telling him the truth.
“How much do you love me?” he went on.
I don’t remember exactly what I told him, only that whatever my response was, it told him that I loved him more than anything. I was unnerved by his persistent questioning and answering the questions was agony, but I tried to appear as calm as I could.
“Do you love me enough to kill him?” he asked.
I dropped my wine glass to the floor, but he didn’t even flinch. The red wine was seeping into his carpet but he didn’t even bother to look at it. His gaze was fixed on me. I remember blushing and squatting down to clean up the mess. I was picking up the shards of broken glass when he began to yell.
“I asked you a question!” he shouted, standing up and towering over me.
He threw his own glass against the wall and I stood up slowly, feeling as if I were dealing with a wild animal and that I shouldn’t make sudden movements. His expression was certainly wild enough to convey that feeling. His eyes were bloodshot and his fists were clenched tightly.
I had never been in such a frightening situation as that one. But there was nothing I could say. I couldn’t kill Lysander. The idea of such a thing was ludicrous. And the fact that Harvey had even asked… well, it really opened my eyes as to just how insane he truly was.
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