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Me Versus Everyone by StepUpx_Gryffindor
Chapter 5 : Malfoy Family Drama
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 23

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I’m not a judgmental person.

At least, I try not to be.

But sometimes, this little thing called ‘better judgment’ gets the best of me and I can’t help but judge the situation. I mean, I’m human. Well, magically human but still human!

For the past week, there have been continuous occurrences where I’d find myself judging situations and judging people’s actions suspiciously. It’s not that I’m spying, or being conniving, but damn it - I can’t just ignore what I see.

Monday afternoon:

I’m sitting on a lounge chair, next to Victoire and my mum, from the second story balcony overlooking the driveway and our front garden. We do crossword puzzles for a good hour, and mum announces that she’s going to go make lemonade. While she’s gone, Vic and I ramble on about whatever new craze Lily’s up to. Fortunately for us, Lily’s ‘time of the month’ was coming to an end; she wasn’t as irritable as before. But on that current day, her new thing was giving herself fruit facials with Dominique, yet again (but luckily I snuck some fruit into my room before she raided the fridge, so next time we go swimming I won’t be on short supply for my smoothies). Now, Vic and I were just minding our own business, chit chatting back and forth in our denim cut off shorts and baggy t-shirts, with our sunglasses dangling from our faces… when we heard a door slam. Loudly. Very, very loudly. The birds flew out of the bloody trees. The sound of two very tense male voices followed.

Now, imagine my surprise when our sudden peaceful afternoon is shaken up a bit by a nerve-hitting door slam and an argument that was about to commence. I closed my book of puzzles and tossed it to the side, as Vic and I peered over the balcony to figure out who was causing such a ruckus. It was Draco Malfoy. It was Draco Malfoy and his son. Arguing.

Draco and Scorpius Malfoy just burst through the side door of their kitchen.

I could sit here and pretend that Victoire and I went back inside to mind our own business, like modest human beings, but we didn’t. We couldn’t! The Malfoy’s were having a father/son brawl and it was too interesting to look away. The loudness of their voices were the only reason we could hear half of what they were saying; their tones weren’t steady but I caught some words; pest, annoying, insufferable, unreasonable, trouble, stop, and wanker.

Not particularly in that order but you can sense my distress, no?

We couldn’t tell who was speaking to whom because, well, when Malfoy men get raspy and loud they sort of sound the same. Victoire and I could only see their profiles, as the balcony only gave us so much leverage. They were in between our two houses, further back but still on the side of their house, where it was difficult to view from this angle.

I couldn’t tell you why Victoire and I stood there, crouched down, listening to them go at it for those good ten minutes. I also couldn’t tell you why I was so interested in their family problems. Or rather, Scorpius Malfoy.

I mean, families fight. They have fights, it’s normal. Whether or not family problems are just problems or actual problems is entirely controlled by said family members’ discretion. But when something like this happens in front of you, what are you supposed to do? A part of you wants to listen, and be nosy for the sake of boredom. But the other side of you feels like an outsider to what you’re witnessing; you don’t have the right to interfere, so what’s the point in giving yourself the right to see it?

But I was enthralled with The Scorpius Malfoy Show and for the rest of the week I had fallen into a pattern of catching him and/or his family having arguments here and there. Consistent arguments that were out of my control and could not be fixed by my mother’s hand-squeezed homemade lemonade.

Tuesday morning:

I’m making waffles in the kitchen with Roxy and Fred. I remembered this day to be a bit fuzzy - Hugo tossed a glass bottle of pure maple syrup to Roxy and missed.

My head was at the receiving end of that miss.

So bear with me.

But I was making Belgian waffles with the waffle maker like a boss, and I was facing the kitchen sink. Above the kitchen sink is our huge kitchen window. Ergo, I can see any suspicious activity next door.

Suddenly, halfway through recovering from my maple syrup concussion, a car pulled into the Malfoy driveway and Astoria practically jumped out of the passenger seat. She slammed it closed, yelling a “FINE!” before stalking up her front steps. The driver’s side opened shortly after, revealing a bitter and tired Draco Malfoy. He, too, slammed his door shut, before following his wife inside.

Okay, it wasn’t actually a big argument full of verbal jabs but it was still a blatant fight!

Clearly something is bothering them. And when ever I’m hooked on a mystery I always try to solve it, explain plausible solutions, or find cracks in the pavement to seal. It’s just me… my head never stops thinking when it comes to stuff I can’t solve. I just keep thinking about it until I can solve it.

I couldn’t understand what Scorpius must have done on Monday afternoon to get his dad so angry. And I was at a loss with what I witnessed while I was making breakfast on Tuesday. It seems to me like Draco is either trying to solve a problem or is causing one of his own. I thought up a million theories - and every single time I thought of something that could actually work, I forgot about it.

What was I doing?

I was trying to act like a family psychiatrist and I had no right to pry in their business. I hated myself for it. Really. I would have much rather ate boogers than see Scorpius arguing with his parents or witness his parents fighting. It’s not exactly an ideal summer activity. If I wanted to see that kind of drama I could sit next to James at noon and follow his ritual of watching reality TV shows until supper’s ready. You know, one time I sat down to see what was so appealing about this specific talk show called Ricky Blake, and all of a sudden, some woman screamed out that she was afraid of band aids. Like… deathly afraid. It was a ‘phobia’ special on people that had strange fears or something. I had to sit on that couch with James and see a woman talk for 25 exact minutes on why band aids gave her icky feelings and were controlled by the devil and at one point in her life, a box of band aids whispered to her to kill her husband.

Someone came out wrapped in bandages and band aids like a mummy and the woman nearly lost her shit. Punched an old lady in the audience. I was scarred. Don’t even get me started on the dude that had a phobia with feminine hygiene products.

The point is, I’m not a fan of drama. I’m a chill person. I am. But I was causing drama simply by seeing it happen. I was causing unnecessary drama to form in my head. I mean, what do I know? Did they have financial problems? Is their housing situation a little rocky? Was Astoria asking for a divorce? I annoyed the living shit OUT OF MYSELF, for having such an interest in someone else’s family ordeals. That morning, as I was eating the waffles I had made for my cousins, I told myself: Enough.

I was determined to stop thinking about Scorpius and his family for the rest of the week.

Thursday night:

“Can you pass the peas, please?”


“The peas.”

“What about them?”

“Can you pass me the peas?”

“I’ll pass them when you stop talking to me like that.”

“I’m not talking to you like anything!”


Funny story…

See, this time I tried not to pay attention.

Really! I did!

But this was one hundred percent, absolutely NOT avoidable! The screaming was happening right in front of my face…

I had to go to the Malfoy house to deliver my mother’s famous key-lime pie and a bag of her homemade butterbeer pine nuts. She made three huge pies and a big batch of the pine nuts that afternoon and she practically assaulted me with a bag full of said goodies in hand, drop-kicking me out of Big Blue. I had no choice. She sent me to the guillotine.

It was a particularly electric night. You know, the typical dark summer nights that feel intense and bright but are still dark and airy. Where a glow stick could come out of nowhere and a party could immediately get started? I’d like to call that electric, if you’ll take it. It was pleasant, the walk over to his house. When I walked up the brick pathway to the front door, I heard the muffling of their voices.

I knew they weren’t on the couch flipping through the telly for a romantic comedy, that’s for sure.

The big white front door was intimidating at first. It just didn’t feel right to me. Something very strange about it… but regardless, I had taken a hold of the big metal ring hanging and knocked on the door a few times. I really hoped that Mrs. Malfoy was going to answer, I had a feeling that Draco Malfoy wasn’t a fan of interruption.

I heard footsteps and within seconds, the door swung wide open. I was greeted by Astoria Malfoy.

I blinked a bit and smiled, while inhaling a big amount of air. I pretended that I wasn’t there being idle for a long time and smiled, “Hello, Mrs. Malfoy.”

She wasn’t expecting me, from the look she gave me. But she was polite, and smiled back. “Rose Weasley. What do I owe this pleasure?” she asked me nicely. I remember her wearing a simple black cocktail dress with pearls around her neck.

I held out the bag full of butterbeer pine nuts in one hand, and the big key-lime pie in the other. I swallowed hard, contemplating what to say. “My mum made some today, and- yeah. Er, she wanted me to give you guys some. She made a lot. They’re butterbeer pine nuts and my mum’s famous key-lime pie.”

I didn’t really know where to look once I spoke, so I looked at the food in my hands and then at her and then at the ground and then at her and then at the food in my hands and then back at her. Her face relaxed, though, when she saw how uncomfortable I was.

Astoria Malfoy took the bag of butterbeer pine nuts and grinned. “You’re mother is so sweet!” She cocked her head to the side, looking at me. “Thank you very much, Rose. They look delicious.”

And then she invited me in.

She stepped aside and invited me in!

I choked a bit, to be honest. I had never been into Scorpius Malfoy’s house before and I felt a bit awkward being asked to come inside by his mum. But what was I gonna say?

No, ma’am, I’m fine with just standing here and moving my eyebrows up and down. Thanks though.

Sorry, Mrs. Malfoy, I have some leg hair I need to shave.

I’d love to, but X-Factor’s on in ten minutes and I don’t wanna miss it.

Sadly, I can’t go inside because I’m working for MI6 and I just can’t risk making you a target.

Oh, I wish I could, but I’ve got to wax my father’s back.

I’ve made an appointment with Doctor Who, actually, and if I don’t show up in front of the Tardis soon he’ll be peeved. Another time?

You do not tell a woman like Astoria Malfoy that you won’t go into her house.

So I stepped inside. I followed her clacking heels through the foyer, through the archway, and into her dining room. Everything in the house was either eggshell toned or a specific type of beige, with black contrasting lamps and rugs. It was snazzy, if I do say so myself.

After the short ten second tour, I had found myself in front of her family eating dinner in the dining room. I froze instantly when I entered.

Draco and Scorpius Malfoy paused, and turned their heads in my direction as soon as Astoria said, “We were just eating dinner, would you like to sit? I assume you already ate?”

She walked to her plushy white dining room chair; it resided on the opposite side of her husband’s seat at the table. The abnormally large white table looked normal in the huge dining room. This is the biggest dining room ever! It could easily fit twenty people. But there were only four chairs, and the long ends of the table were taken my Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy- Mr. Malfoy was seated at the head of the table, of course. Scorpius sat on one of the long horizontal sides.

It had taken me a few seconds to realize that Astoria had spoken again.

“I’m sorry?”

I was acting like an idiot and I was sure they were going to talk about me when I left.

“Would you like to sit?” she repeated again, putting the bag of pine nuts on the table. I ignored the stares from her husband and her son and looked solely at her.

It was when she said those words that I realized I was still standing there in the front of the dining room, holding a bloody key-lime pie. “Er, sure,” I mumbled quickly, slowly walking to the only other available chair. I had put the key-lime pie down further in front of me, and I distinctly remembered this because I didn’t want to sit down with the pie under my face and breath on it and get my crazy Weasley cooties on it. I looked up after my bum sunk into the comfy suede chair, and I had immediately found Scorpius Malfoy’s hazel eyes on me.

“Look at what she brought us, Draco. Butterbeer pine nuts and key-lime pie. Isn’t that nice?”

He sipped his wine, examining the food I had brought over. “You shouldn’t have.”

His tone wasn’t sinister in the slightest, but not that far away from Sarcasticville.

“We were just talking about the barbeque your father cooked for us a few weeks ago,” Astoria interjected loudly, making a grab for her wine glass as well. “It was a wonderful welcome to this neighborhood.”

Draco Malfoy guffawed but disguised it as a cough when his wife caught him.

I responded hesitantly. “I’m glad. It was nice to have you all over. Not many families live on this block, so it was nice having a family with someone my age, let alone someone we actually knew.”

I hadn’t meant to make eye contact with Scorpius again but it happened.

“I see. We haven’t really seen many of the other neighbors. Just a few married couples gardening once and a while.”

“Yeah, there’s not many young people. Just a lot of old geezer couples.”

I had said ‘old geezer couples’ at the Malfoy dinner table. Not that they’re inappropriate words, but the fact that I used them in front of Scorpius’s parents! The fact that I used them so nonchalantly! That’s just how I talk, you know. I can’t help it if I’m always this witty… But the fact that I had said these words as if they understood me- I mean, it was just so embarrassing. I should have known better; my family can handle it. Not so sure about the rest of society.

Scorpius stifled a laugh as soon as I said it, though, and covered his mouth with his hand. Draco sort of nodded and sipped more wine. Astoria just said, “Oh.”

Then I stared at the table cloth and contemplated banging my head against it.

It was awkward sitting there and not feeling compatible with them, but it ended quickly.

They really weren’t that bad, I think that I just need to get used to them. I barely know Scorpius, let alone his parents. It wasn’t unpleasant, just strange.

They had finished eating while Astoria and I talked about the weather in a boring fashion, followed by next week’s plans. I also vaguely remember Draco being on his seventh glass of wine by the time I was done. Not that this is at all important.

I mean.

I’m just saying.

I had probably triggered it.

He was most likely trying to deal with the fact that Ronald Weasley’s kid was at his dinner table.

But hey, no-longer-judging-Rose Weasley is not judging.

I had scurried home feeling like I was returning from my trip to Mars. But I undoubtedly knew that I sort of liked being there secretly although I felt out of place. As soon as I walked inside, told my mum how ‘great’ it went and how Astoria was gushing over the Butterbeer pine nuts.

“Did they try the key lime pie?” My mother asked me eagerly.

“They were getting ready to cut it when I left,” I had told her matter-of-factly. It was peculiar, seeing my mother’s face full of joy at the sound of them eating her food. She wasn’t really much of a baker until I was born. Or at least that’s what dad said. (But then mum said it was the only way with coping. I asked what she meant by that, and she just told me that it helped her deal with my father's lack of diaper changing skills. So I just nodded and understood as my father glared at the both of us.)

“Did you hear that, Ron? They love the pine nuts!” She turned to my father, who shrugged in response.

“Good, you slaved over it for two hours. They better appreciate it.”


I wake up on Friday morning by the sound of Lily Potter blow-drying her hair. And by wake up, I mean shaken to the core until my eyes crack open.

I take a quick glance at Lily who is drying her hair in front of the vanity mirror, and begin to plan her demise. She smiles at me, genuinely, before saying, “Good morning!” Of course I don’t hear her that well because the tsunami drying her hair has impaired my hearing.

I am slightly confused at her peppiness. She was all sunshine and rainbows before coming to Big Blue - but ever since the Malfoy’s moved in she’s been turning into a real snob. So imagine my surprise when she is actually showing human signs of kindness towards me. She eyes me every so often and makes eye contact but it’s too early to look at humans.

Ignoring her, I cover my head with my blanket, trying to find a comfortable position for my head to lay on. The blow-drying stops after a minute or two and I hear her trying to speak to me again, except her voice is muffled by the pillow I’ve pressed on both sides of my head.

“Did you hear me? Rose!” Lily says to me, walking to my bed and shaking me.

I squirm and grunt. “Umph.”

“Get.” Lily jumps on the bed. “Up!”

“No,” I grumble into my salivated pillow. “I have a few more drools to go before I wake up!”

She stops jumping on my bed. “Ew.”

In my head, I am rolling my eyes.

“Get up,” she begins again. “I’m the only person awake right now who’s willing to make breakfast and I’m starving,” she begs. “You’re the only one that knows how to do those Yugoslavian waffle things and I really want some.”

I’m sorry.

Did I just hear that correctly.

Did she just-

Yugoslavian waffles?

I lift myself up from my current laying position on my bed and lock my arms straight. I turn my head to my cousin very, very slowly. My hair is in my face and I’m sure I look like a zombie.

“You want to wake me up and get me out of bed so I can cook you breakfast.”

Not so much a question, as it is an accusation.

She just smiles semi-innocently and her eyes wander around. I still stare at her straight in the face though, until she speaks again. I can’t see through my hair.

But I pretend to.

“I actually wanted some you and me time,” she says at the speed of light. Lily’s gaze falls on her linen skirt and she picks at the hem. “I just wanted to talk with you a little bit. That’s all.”

I try to blink. It takes me a few hours, but eventually my eyes open to their full capacity. “…Really?”

“Well… yeah.”

This is so bizarro that I don’t even know how to react.

“You want to eat breakfast… with me. And talk?”

She nods her head with her jaw cocked, clearly annoyed. “Yes, okay? Yes…God.”

I reply with the same snooty face she gives me. “Okay,” I wheedle.

And so I get up. I actually get up. Because my cousin wants to have breakfast with me and have a talk of some sort. Does this thing happen often in families? Where the bratty little girls get personality switches and they wanna be cuddly all of a sudden?

Does it?

Because I’ve never really raised a kid, so I can’t really pin-point how important this may or may not be for my cousin. But I sure can tell you that I’m not very good with planning ahead, or at least not recently. I am more of the thinking-on-your-feet type of person. I never really thought this would happen so I don’t really have an escape route or an agenda of how things are going to go. Is this just a phase? Does she want something from me? Is she going to say sorry for being a bit of a snob lately? I honestly hope that she does at least tell me something.

And I really hope it’s not going to be like that time where she sat me down and told me I should go blonde.

“How much milk?”

“Just pour the rest of the carton. I’m going to the grocery store today.”


We’re making Belgian waffles.

Lily and I are making Belgian waffles.

In the kitchen, at this exact moment.

It’s sort of awkward but still sort of not, because I’ve known her my whole life. The real elephant in the room is mainly Lily staying silent and asking random waffle-making questions. She knows I’m waiting for her to speak. We can’t wait until after I help her make the waffles to talk, damn it. The suspense is killing me. You know what I’m thinking about right now?

What would Zorro do?

I mean, I know he was a guy in a mask that spoke Spanish, but he really knew his stuff. Always had a plan, thought quickly on his feet. Had some cool sword or something. Man… I used to be like that! I used to be Zorro! My eyes terrified my family members! Now my timid cousin and I are making breakfast and I am no longer Zorro. My skills have been shot. And you know why?


Yes, I’m going there.

Don’t you smirk at me!

It’s true. I’ve been so crazed about his family drama that I can’t even focus on myself. Am I honestly that bored that I have to find something interesting in a family of temperamental blondes? Astoria’s not blonde, actually. But let’s pretend she is because I’m annoyed and what I say goes.

“How long do I leave it in?”

“Wait about 20 seconds, then lift the lid open,” I reply.

My eyes land on the waffle batter bowl with the spatula sticking upright. I stare at it and then I stare at it some more, going into a dreamy like state.

I have no life.

They are the worst next door neighbors ever. It’s like they’re doing this on purpose. They are taking my mojo just being here. I had such energy and such witty come backs! I was like Han Solo except better because I had fashion sense kind of and learned all my martial arts from 40 year old Samurai films.

They have this power over me, the Malfoy’s! They’re like this evil family who’s mission is to get people so interested in them that their victims lose sight of other people and don’t even remember what else is out there orbiting in their lives. I’ve been so obsessed with them that I haven’t been caring about anything else really. I used to be so cool, damn it. I used to be bitchin’ gnarly. I had skills with words and had secret agent intuition. I was happenin’. Now I’m about as relevant as a napkin and can’t even start a conversation with someone who’s mental state is unidentifiable. Hell, I’m not even making jokes.

Well, at least not any good ones.

Last week I wasn’t like this. Oh, no, Sir-ee. I was-


I snap out of my mid-teen-life crisis.

“Oh,” I inhale. “Hi.”

She looks at her mutilated Belgian waffles. “Er…”

“What’s going on with us?” I blurt. See, I didn’t really know what to say. So I contemplated it during my daze. But by the time I realized how much I exercised my brain into that small of a time span, I knew I was going to implode if I didn’t get this conversation going. So I went for the ‘rip the bandage off quick’ approach.

Lily Potter just looks at me expectantly. Not shocked, not nervous, not anything. She sighs, pouring in the remaining batter into the waffle maker.

I breathe in a big breath and begin. “You’ve woken me up at the butt-crack of dawn-”

“It’s 8:00 AM…”

“-The butt-crack of 8:00 AM, to talk to me. And I know you’ve been waiting for me to say something, so I’m saying it,” I tell her.

She bites her cheek. “Yeah. You’re right.”

I lean my head in, giving her my Weasley look. “So? What is it?”


I actually really shouldn’t be surprised by this scenario right now. Lily Potter is not good with apologies ever. Mainly because James is always doing something wrong and he always ends up apologizing to her instead. She probably didn’t even know how to start talking to me, and now that I think about it, deciding to speak to me privately before everyone in the family gets up and starting making a ruckus is actually a smart thing to do. That, I can get. But she actually needs to make the first move.

Takes her a while to say it but she finally speaks after I threaten to put her hand in the waffle maker.

“Okay! Okay, fine! I wanted to apologize, okay? I wanted to say I’m sorry. So there, I’m sorry.” Lily stomps her foot on the ground like a toddler and crosses her arms impatiently. “Humph.”

Something changes in me. Maybe it’s relief. Perhaps it’s my mojo coming back.

Well, what ever it is, I welcome it like cookies on Christmas Day.

Goodbye, Malfoy drama. Hello, Lily’s pre-teen My Life Is Ending/What Do I Do phase.

“You’re actually sorry? No bullshit?”

“No,” she sighs, answering me honestly. “None whatsoever.”

My eyebrows raise. I’m shocked but I’m also impressed! She isn’t backing down and she really does want to talk to me. “Wow,” I comment. “I didn’t think that would happen,” I say more to myself than to her.

She fidgets with her hands before hopping up and down, exploding like a can of whipped cream. “I’m sorry!” she whines, jumping from one leg to the other. “Merlin, I’ve been horrible. I know, trust me. And I know that you and Al try to dodge me when you can and I just feel really bad. I’m a teenager, okay? I’m a mess.”

I survey her intently.

“And I just want to talk with you about it and explain. I just… I’m frustrated about a whole lot of things and seeing how everyone has been acting around me lately, it really hit me full force that I wasn’t being snotty once and a while. It was all day, every day. I can’t even imagine how annoying I was since we’ve been here. I’d usually go to Dom for this kind of thing but you’re the person I’ve been mean to the most. You deserve an apology.”

I smile a really big smile.

She’s frightened by my smile apparently because she closes her mouth and surveys me. “What?”

Before I give her the chance to run away screaming, I actually open my arms and hug her. She’s alarmed at first, but then hugs me back. I do the little finger noggin rub thing on her that dad used to do on me.

“I just blow-dried my hair to perfection, you know-”

“Thank the heavens!” I exclaim, hugging Lily full force again. “I was beginning to think you were morphing into that Umbridge woman dad told us horror stories about.” That was a lot more than I was expecting from Lily, that apology. I thought maybe I was gonna get a measly ‘Just let me get through this on my own and stay out of my way’ type of pre-teen, reply but she actually owned up to it!

Lily makes a gross face. “That cat lady?”

“What? That woman was mean! She was an evil pink monster,” I defend. “Quite terrorizing.”

She rolls her eyes, hiding her smile. “Please, if I had to hoard any kind of animal it would probably be Hungarian Horntails or something. They’re much more wicked.”

Sweet Merlin.



A/N - WAIT! Before you sharpen your pitchforks, I want you to know that for a good solid month I had a virus on my computer and I couldn't complete the rest of this chapter... but now BOTH my computers work and school isn't so bad so expect frequent updates in all my fics ;)

And by frequent I mean once a month on each story, if possible lol.

Did you guys like this chapter? I know it was more of a filler but I needed to write something with Scorpius and more with Rose and Lily.

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