Chapter 1 : Of Leaving + New Begginings - Adriana
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just wanna say a big thank you to nostalgia @ tda for this amazing banner of Adrianna and Cat:)
People around my estate are the judgemental type. Their lives and children are as messed up as every one else, however they get a kick out of knowing that there is always someone who will take offence to the things being said about them. Thankfully, I don’t take offence.
Because every time I turn a corner there’s someone else saying the same thing bout me. ‘that’s Kyle Roberts girlfriend, the one with the baby that’s not his!’
And I don’t take offence because I am Kyle Roberts girlfriend and I have got a baby that’s not his.
My baby girl.
And I don’t give a damn what people around here say, because as soon as this summers over I’m going right back to Hogwarts with my baby girl and I’m not going to be coming back. I don’t care what my mum wants me to do or not. Once I’ve graduated I’ll be able to get a job and enrol into Healer Academy or apply for Auror training or do what ever the hell I like; I just know that I will not be around here. I refuse to allow my daughter to be raised here. On this estate, where knife crime and gun crime and murder is just daily business. It won’t happen.
I bet your all thinking why the hell is she bitching about it when her boyfriend lives around here too?
Well, Ky is the gang leader you could say and he gets a say in what happens around here and he loves Summer so I know that no matter where we go that’s she safe. Of course its not the best situation but it’s the best I’m going to get. Anyways its just for another week and then I’ll be off to the Castle in the sky- only joking its not in the sky, its in Scotland.
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The place where everything began for me, and in a way it was where everything was going to end.
Kyle was someone who made me feel special and he made the butterflies fly into my stomach when his hands went down into inappropriate places. And in the nicest way possible to him, he was a distraction. A fling. Someone to help me through the dark days of being a sixteen year old mother to a baby girl. He’s more of a friend to me and I do feel extremely mean; I want to be in love with him. But I’m not. I love him. But I’m not in love with him.
And there’s a difference.
There’s this one guy, back at Hogwarts who I am in love with.
Ever since third year there’s been something going on between us.
We’d kiss and we’d cuddle. In fourth year was the first time I stayed in his dorm. It was amazing and I did - do - honestly love him so much. But we where never official. We were never exclusive.
I saw other people. I got with other people.
He saw other people. He got with other people.
I cheated on my boyfriends with him. He cheated on his with me.
We never learnt. But I knew I couldn’t live without him.
He obviously can.
Not one letter this year why I haven’t bin in school.
Not one letter whilst I was raising his daughter. Granted he didn’t know I was pregnant, however he didn’t even write me to see why I wasn’t in school.
I love you too babe.
“Hello baby, where have you been?” I cooed as I took Summer out of my mum’s arms huggling her tight to my chest as she gurgled happily. She’s getting better with the speaking part of life, she hasn’t quite mastered it, but she’s doing good.
“Tell mummy, we’ve bin the park. And fed the duckies haven’t we Sum?” My mum said with her baby voice on, I rolled my eyes it was so different to her normal voice. I played along though, it was good for Summer.
“Duckies? oh!” I opened my mouth in mock surprise and she giggled an quacked like a duck - sorta.
“What did you fed them?” I asked happily, Summers little mouth bobed up and down searching for the sound, “Bread?” I helped her and she nodded and plunged her head onto my shoulder. “Oh,” I mumbled as I nearly lost my balance.
I stroked her dark hair lightly. Her hair was the darkest black and it was so thin, and petite and delicate. Her little locks hung around her face in faint waves; when its longer it is going to be curls down her back, I can just tell. Just like her daddy. Summer’s little eyes are bluey/silver. The new born blue still evident in them however the speckles of silver getting more prominent by the day; just like her daddy. Her smile though, I can take all of the credit for, thin lips with the rosy red programmed into them, her large smile actually reaching the bottom of her ear lobes, and her little one only one side of her mouth rising up and showing off. Her little nose so cute and buttoned and gorgeous!
My baby Summer was the cutest little thing ever to walk the planet.
And I love her more than I loved him.
I felt her breathing get steadier on my body, and I didn’t mind. I loved it when she fell asleep clinging to my body, it made me feel wanted. And merlin knows that’s one thing I am in need of. I looked at my mother, ignoring the disapproving aura that she had created around herself - she hated that I was a mother. She tried to take my baby away from me. She tried to raise Sum as her daughter, my sister. But no. I WOULD NOT let that happen. She hates me for it.
“I’m seeing Ky later, going to tell him about school. Want me to find a sitter or will you?” I asked abruptly hoping that it wouldn’t make her be a bitch an make me find a sitter. She doesn’t want me back at school either. She thinks I should become a stay at home mum, and you don’t need qualifications for that.
“I’m busy.” Was her answer. Her short heartless answer
“Whatever then.” I said and grabbed Summer’s baby bag off of the floor and hung it on the pram quietly, not wanting to wake my sleeping baby.
I walked straight out of the house, keeping my breathing calm and steady and heading off in the direction of Cat’s house. She’s my girl friend around here, Summer’s godmother whenever I have the money to have her christened. Cat knows what I’m going through with mum, she is pregnant too. She has another six months left of it like, but never-the-less the mothers disappointment kicks in as soon as you begin to show.
Cat knew about Sum’s dad, she was the only one around here who I’ve told. I know she doesn’t like it, her boyfriend - Jamie- is Kyle’s right hand man, so she feels responsible for the damage that it going to become of the gang. Because it will fuck Ky up. Whether it’s the me and him part over, or the him losing Summer part, I don’t even know.
She is so loving and so easy to fall head over heels in love with; another thing she got from her daddy.
“Hey Coleen, Cat in?” I asked as Cat’s mum opened the door, she smiled a warm caring smile; knowing that mum had royally pissed me off.
“Sure thing sweetie, how’s this little one?” Coleen cooed, clearing away a little hair away from Summers face. I smiled, loving people fussing over my baby girl.
“She’s been out with Grandma, and the ducks. All tired out now,” I kissed her head and giggled slightly as Coleen looked utterly repulsed by the word Grandma.
“I’m too young to be a Grandma,” She muttered to herself, not so quietly.
“Alright mum, you can be Nanny.” Cat grinned from the doorway. She took Summer off of me and lay her down on the sofa smothering her in blankets.
“Stop, you’ll over heat her!” I laughed sitting back on the single chair in our room, Cat’s mothering instincts already kicking in, heavily.
I couldn’t wait until she had her baby, of course I wouldn’t be living around here, but I’m going to try and keep in touch with her. She’s my first and only friend around here and I’m grateful for everything that she and her mum have done for me. Cat looks like a supermodel to, I mean I’m not that shallow to be only friends with her because of her hot looks; course they help!
“Sorrrrry!” She whined throwing them all off of Sum over-dramatically! I laughed outright at the childish behaviour that had made me fall in love with my little Cat.
“You seeing Ky?”
“Yeah, gunna brake it off. Can you watch her?” I said, my throat becoming all dry; Kyle was one of the best things in my life around here and he is everything to me, however I’m going back to Hogwarts. In Scotland. Long distance isn’t good for me. It doesn’t work.
“Be sure first okay sweetie,” Cat said
“I’m going to SCOTLAND! I can’t stay with him…” I trailed off, truly sad that I was going to have to go through with this
“You sure this is because of the long distance?” Cat asked, the teasing tone completely disappeared from her voice, she can be seriously smart and understanding when she needs to be. She doesn’t usually need to be!
“What else would it be?” My head snapped up to look at her, of course it was because of the long distance.
“You wanna be back with yo’ baby papa’” She attempted to rap it out moving her fingers and arms in sync with her voice. I laughed. Doubling over myself I attempted to take deep breaths to steady myself. Sirius and I were completely over, I would never go back to him now, not one word from him since I left. That’s how much he loves me.
“No Catalina! I’m leaving, be back in a bit yeah?” I laughed to myself before bending to kiss my daughter on her forehead and then Cat’s head; sneakily avoiding the flying fists of doom - or well Cat.
“I’M STEALING YOUR BABY!” She shouted after me as I left the house. I shook my head and smiled, she always knew how to cheer me up properly, she joked with me in a way that none of the other girls at my school would ever dare to. I know this is really bad to say, but last time I was in Hogwarts, all my friends where obsessed with how boys saw them, limiting their personalities. Cat is not like that at all… and now neither am I. For that, I will never be able to repay her.
It wasn’t till I was around the corner from Ky’s did it really sink in what I was about to do. It was the right thing. That much I was sure off.
I didn’t knock, no-one ever did.
“Hello!” I called through the house, knowing that if anyone was in then they’d hear me. The walls are extremely thin. His mum would know
“His room Ade!” his mum shouted from the front room, and I sniggered to myself. It was so alike Ky to completely ignore anyone walking through the door without him…even if it was me. He was weird and stubborn like that. He was such a weirdo. He was my weirdo.
Lightly running up the stairs and straight into his room I grinned, lying backwards on his bed starring at the ceiling, cigarette in hand; smoke filling the room making the atmosphere immediately relax and it felt like you were floating on a cloud. His head lifted itself off of the pillow quickly to check it was me… he made some movement with his head and lay back down properly again. I smiled and got on the bed next to him, lying on my side head resting on my hand and facing him.
“Ky, I need to talk to you,” I said, keeping my voice straight. He turned around and kissed my lips softly and looked at me with a lopsided grin.
“What’s up Ri ri?” I scowled mockingly, I hated Ri ri! He was so sweet about all of this, and I was going to lose it. I was going to lose what kept me sane. But I have to.
“I’m going back to my private school, in Scotland.” I said quickly, my heart braking slowly as the realisation dawned across his face. Completely losing the teenage innocence that rested there a second ago and made his boyish looks so handsome.
“Your leaving,” he said, eyes wide. Looking like an matured man now, completely freaking me out. Unable to say anything I just nodded my head, hoping that he’d understand I needed to; who am I kidding, of course he wont?
“You and Summer?” He said.
“Yeah,” I confirmed.
“What do you mean no?”
“No. I’m not letting you,” And that pissed me off.
“It’s not your decision.” I said stonily, sitting upright and turning away from him
“Your not taking Summer,” And my heart was crushed. He didn’t care about me. He never did. He just wanted Summer.
“She’s not your daughter, it’s not up to you!” I fumed, not actually believing the words coming from his mouth.
“I swear to god Adriana, your not going!” He shouted as I stormed down the stairs and out the door.
My head was spinning, my hearts was pounding, my sweat glands where over working.
That actually just happened. I didn’t dream that. It had truly happened.
Cat didn’t ask thankfully, I don’t know what I would have been able to tell her. I just got my Summer and her things and we left. Summer was not going to be leaving my side, my sight. She was my baby. And he was not going to come for her.
I didn’t speak to mum. I didn’t look at her. She didn’t care about me either. She just wanted Summer. Again.
OMG! It’s so good to hear from you! When you didn’t write back to all the letters at the start of the year we all got really worried. But I’m glad to hear from you know, I just can’t believe you finally wrote back!
And your coming back to Hogwarts for seventh year too? That is so great! I can’t wait to see you, and see how much you have changed; around here a lot of things have. Such as James and I are dating!
How about we meet the Thursday before we leave at midday and we can have a big girly catch-up? Right I’ll see you soon!
Smiling I re-read my friends letter, smiling and laughing and gasping in all of the appropriate places. Lily and James, so saw it coming! There was a nagging sensation at the back of my mind that wondered what she meant by the first part. ‘When you didn’t write back to all the letters at the start of the year’ I didn’t get any letters all year. I’d remember. It broke my heart when no owls came here. I’d remember.
Anyway, I skimmed over the meeting part again hoping that I had remember the correct details. Today was the Thursday before and we where meeting in the Leaky Cauldron. And today was the day where Lily meets Summer and figures out who her daddy is. They are alike and anyone who is close to him would know this. So yes, I’m beginning to get really nervous.
I’ve sorted Sum out in a beautiful summer dress, light pink with lots of fushia pink flowers patterned all over it with white peep-toe sandals on, her wavy hair left hanging by her face her fringe softly pinned up. She looked gorgeous, even taking away my bias feelings. She was the anecdote of summer, which of course was ironic! My hair was messily tied up with my fringe down partially over my face, I had just a plain pink an black vest top on, black body con skirt and some tan tights. Applying the last minute fraction of lip gloss I wheeled Sum out the door and into the August heat.
My heart was pounding as I walked down the street, not just because there was no the constant threat that Ky was going to sweep out of nowhere and take my baby away from me; but also because this was the first time that Lily would see me in a year… she didn’t even know about my Summer. She never knew that I was pregnant. She never knew that I have a baby, my baby Summer.
Would she look down on me?
Would she be annoyed that I didn’t involve her in Summer’s life?
Would she tell Sirius? Would she make him be involved in Sum’s life? What would I even do if that happened? I don’t even know.
I could feel lots of eyes on me as I walked along the street, making my way to the bus stop to muggle bus is to the Leaky Cauldron which is where I’m meeting Lils’. Of course I’m used to all eyes being on me around here, but this wasn’t the usual disapproving glares from the mothers. This was a different kind of stare. This was a ‘bitch you’ve got my daughter’ stare, and I knew who it was coming from. But Summer was not his daughter, he has no hold on her what so ever. Knowing that if Kyle was there, then the whole gang was. I don’t even know what side they’re taking on this situation, Jamie thought that I was right in so looking after my daughter; but he’s Ky’s best mate so he understands the pain that he must be going through.
I sighed and shook my head slightly, attempting to get rid of the thoughts and focus on the task a head of me. Explaining to my best friend that I have a baby. I mean it should be okay because Lily had always been the type to find out what the fuck went down before she judged. Well she hoped that she was still like that, she seemed understanding enough in the letter so I guess I should get the story out. I should be afraid though, Lil was known for her temper and the messes’ that its gotten herself in - I don’t even think I’m in the situation to say that she wouldn’t hex me. She probably would.
Waiting for the bus I cleared my head and bent down to play and talk with my little girl. She laughed her gorgeous tinkling laugh as I rolled my eyes and pulled tongues with her, receiving one dirty look and two smiles from strangers waiting there.
“Um’am!” she laughed, she just nearly said muma! Oh my merlin, she just nearly said Muma!
“Oh, buba!” I said and slobbering all over her face excitedly… she laughed.
“Attractive Ade,” Jamie scoffed from behind me. I stood up and gave him a big hug and smiled as he bent down to kiss Summer’s cheek.
“Hey Jame!” I smiled happily, Jamie’s like the big brother that I had always wanted… he understands why I want to go back to school and he understands why I want to take my baby and that seems good enough for him. He’s about to be a father and I am extremely proud of how much he has grown up since Cat told him. The transformation is unbelievable; he’s not immature like everyone else, he understands that he needs to start working so that he and Cat can get a place of their own with their newborn.
“Where you going babe?” He asked throwing and arm around me casually, I laughed silently knowing that in the alleyway behind him Kyle would be going mad that he touched me… he was always like that.
“Into town to meet an old friend and get school stuff,” I smiled shrugging him off slightly, he caught my eye and I slightly inclined my head in Kyle’s direction and I saw the amusement spark up in his eyes.
“Oh yeah, I’ve bin meaning to ask you this… you going to meet Summer’s dad?” he spoke hesitantly, and I froze. Not knowing whether it was Jamie’s genuine curiosity or Kyle being a dick.
“N-not today. I’m meeting Lily today, but he will be at school and I will run into him… so?” I trailed off feeling extremely awkward. Talking about Sirius around muggles just didn’t seem right today. With Lily or someone I could rant and rave about how much of a dick he is and how much I hate him, and they’d laugh and go ‘you love him Ade’ and I’d just say fuck yes. But with Jamie and Cat and the muggles I can rant and rave about how much I hate him and how much of a dick he is and they’d agree with me and just be like ‘why did you put up with him’ and its weird because I love him.
“If you need me will you write though, because Ky might hate you completely but your still my little sister,” Jamie cuddled me back into his side as I forced the tears to dry up in my eyes and not spill from my eyes. “here’s your bus babe,” He nudged and I smiled and hopped onto the bus with my baby girl safely in her pram.
Now was the time.
I saw her fidgety red head keep twitching in her seat, I grinned knowing that that was a sign of her nervousness and I was making her nervous again. It sure has been a long time since I’ve been able to say those words. Before going over I took one deep breath and shook my head, clearing my head of any thought that wasn’t relevant to the current situation.
“Lils?” I asked hesitantly hoping that I had in fact identified the correct person.
“Ade? OMG ADE!” She shouted and jumped on my body full force. Laughing I put my arms around her legs supporting them so she didn’t topple over pulling me with her. I smiled as she buried her head in my neck and I brought my head onto her shoulder too, squeezing them shut with happiness. I have truly missed Lily, there’s been so much that I found so difficult to do without her. I needed her.
She jumped off of me and noticed the pram, smiling nicely she bent down to look into the pram with cute little eyes.
“Who’s this sweetheart?” She asked pulling a face, Summer laughed. She loved them funny faces. I took a deep breath before answering.
“This is my baby girl, my daughter Summer,” I told her slowly so that I wouldn’t have to repeat it again. My whole body was shaking as Lily looked up at me. I expected to see hate filled emerald eyes, however I saw anxious ones looking my way.
“What happened last year Ade?” She asked sitting down on the table, refilling the Butterbeer in her glass and summoning one for me. I sat down and took a long sip, smiling as the warm butterscotch drink ran down my throat. It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of these.
“Fifth year, January I got pregnant. I was scared, no I was terrified. I found a spell that stopped the symptoms and hid my baby bump. I thought that if I couldn’t tell then it wouldn’t be real,” I paused and looked up at Lily, who like me had tears glistening in my eyes. She nodded in understanding.
“In summer, I finally accepted it. I was going to be a mum. At fifteen, I told my mum.” I laughed humourlessly “She went berserk. Wanted to raise her as my sister, no way was I letting that happen. We haven’t got on since. October 5th Summer Lily was born,” I smiled remembering the first time that I saw her. Her black hair stuck to her head and her body so small and delicate I was convinced I was going too drop her or something. I didn’t.
Lily’s arms developed me into a hug and I felt her sob against me. I did too. I let the tears out. The ones that I had built up since she was born. I could cry if I wanted to. It was okay. I was seventeen next week, and I have a 10 month old baby. I’m allowed.
“Our letters. You didn’t write back to any letter from July onwards? I wrote once a week, then stopped around Christmas time. Sirius still does. Every single day,” Lily cried sitting on my knee still but with a lose grip around my neck. I was confused now. I hadn’t received a single letter.
“I’ve never gotten one?” I swear if this is because of my mother I will slit her throat whilst she sleeps. She ruined my life.
“Doesn’t matter now, Summer Lily hey!” She winked putting her happy façade one, I knew her though. She was confused about this… she was freaking out in her head. It was easier to that way rather than out loud.
Summer laughed and nodded her head reverently, happy to have attention off of somebody new.
“So you and James huh?” I asked raising my eyebrows happy to have her support.
Mum had my letters. All of them. She had taken every single one of them that had been sent. Lily’s were worried and annoyed. James’ were confused. Sirius’ were… heartbroken. It broke my heart just reading them.
Ade… I miss you. Where the hell are you? I love you - Sirius
Ade, I love you. Come home… please -Sirius
I swear to god, Adriana Bells you’re the love of my life. I won’t see anyone else but you. I won’t look at anyone else. Please Ade your killing me. Come home. I love you -Sirius
I love you, I miss you Ade. Come home. -Sirius
I’m sorry I’m a dick. I love you -Sirius
I don’t care that your not writing back, I love you and I’m never going to stop -Sirius
I LOVE YOU ADRIANA BELLS!
And so on.
I cried reading them. Some even had tear marks where he’s been crying.
But it’s not that simple any more. I’ve got a baby to add into the mix so I can’t just go running back to him. He’s got to prove himself. Whether he’ll even want to anymore, I don’t even know. He didn’t try hard enough. He could have come here himself to see me. But he didn’t. he just wrote. Every day. I don’t even know why I’m upset about that.
I blew up at mum, and so I should. Taking my mail. Reading my mail. Disconnecting me from my best friends. I’m at Cat’s now. It was the first place I could think of, and she helped me read through my mail when I couldn’t anymore. Jamie hugged me tightly and kissed my head before putting Summer to sleep in the new babies room, that was already prepared.
Mum had the letters. I’m so so so sorry. Sirius wrote one every day, and every single one said that he loves me. I don’t know what to do Lil
- Ade x
I sent that off with Spark whilst I was chilling outside with a cigarette - I wont smoke with Summer in the house. He came back quickly, she was only staying in London.
Write Sirius. Tell him everything about the letters. Meet him tomorrow without Sum and tell him everything. I’ll sit with Sum… give me a chance to bond with her.
Taking a big breath I scribbled a note to Sirius. I could do this.
I know you probably hate me, but before you shred this letter up; hear me out.
I stayed at home this year because I had to. Mum took my letters. Every single one of them. I didn’t know you’d sent any. I thought you’d forgotten about me.
I got them back just now, and I thought I’d drop you a line or few… got something important we need to talk about…
I folded it up and sent it with Spark. Flicking the end of my fag away I sighed; too late to back out now.
hello! hope you like it so far; i abandoned my other one because i didn't get any reveiws and i got comple writers block! so pleaseeeeeeee reveiw! actually want to finish this story!
thanks you soo much:D