Chapter 12 : The Why And The Because
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I hope you like it. It's a big chapter, word count and story wise.
Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, the brilliant JKR does.
The Why And The Because
"You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet..."
"Head Over Feet", Alanis Morissette
Fourteen days. And about dozens of little quirks I learned Faldo owns. For example, he loves staying up and just looking through his window. He likes to hum silently when he's writing his homeworks. He enjoys Charms and is the best at it in his year. His favourite song is 'Little smiles' by The Centaurs. And he makes small talk with Nearly Headless Nick. He actually listens in History of Magic. I'm still not sure whether to believe him on that. Faldo's such a bookworm. Speaking of books, his favourite one written by a non-muggle is 'Days of Apparition'. Not quite the promising title, but he swears it's brilliant. I, in turn, promised I'd read it eventually. Also, he's currently writing himself. He doesn't let me read anything. For now, he says. He likes our uniforms as they smell purely of Hogwarts (And not home. But he'll never admit that's the reason.). Faldo is also a little scared of the dark. He won't admit that either. Which is kind of endearing.
And it goes on and on...
You know what I learned about Louis in this time span?
I don't want to be his girlfriend.
I know, I know. That sounds so major bitchy, right there. But I'm just being honest. I'll spare your time with my life lesson here. Never ever be with someone you're not into. Like, seriously. It will drive you mad. And if you go to say that you're already mad and that doesn't frighten you... Trust me, you'll want to change your mind.
"Oh, Heavens." I plop down onto the chair, frustrated. "I know he's your cousin, Roxy. But Louis is just not what I expected him to be. And not in a good way, either."
I'm such a troll. Seriously. Someone slap me. I don't get to find out if Roxy will, since someone interrupts us.
"And I know exactly why that's so." Lee creeps up from behind me and I jump up from my seat, startled.
"Lee!" I choke sligtly on my own saliva. "What did we say about you sneaking up on people?!"
"Oh, come on! I'm not that bad!" She rolls her burly eyes.
Roxy and I share a knowing look.
Lee stares at me, a little on the crazy side (Isn't she always?).
"I told you. It's a fantasy." She nods her head at me while sitting down. "About time you woke up."
I try to retort but Roxy suddenly decides to give me that slap. At least verbally.
"And what is so wrong with Louis anyway?!" She meddles, a little defensive.
I kind of tend to periodically forget that they're family. Maybe it's because Roxy is so strong and crisp while Louis is...
"He's just so... cheesy. Too cheesy. Too nice. Too pretty. And just... Too much!" I blurt out.
Wow. I wasn't even aware all of that wanted out.
"Who complains about a boy being too pretty? I'm sorry, Dora, you lost me there." Lee sits back and Accios a chocolate puding.
It's not like I understand it either. Following sheer logic, I should love Louis.
Just goes to show you what a weirdo I am. So, nothing new there.
A huff escapes me as I support my head with my hands.
I turn around to spot a very chirpy Scorpius mumbling a spell into his palm. Rose, maybe even more gleeful than her hyper boyfriend (Simpy must be a record! Someone take note of this!) gazes at him in anticipation. Soon enough, a beautiful lily materializes on his hand. Rose makes a disgusting awww sound and kisses him.
Seriously, what won't that boy do for a snog? Such a shameless snog bitch.
Still, as sickening as those two are, I'm happy for Scorpius. Plus, I really like Rose. Even more so now that they are together ( I didn't say that. Nope. It was just your imagination.). I can't get too sarcastic with them. It'd be mean. Even for me.
They all sit down and the small talk ensues. Lucky for me, Roxy apparently isn't into a fight anymore. I seriously don't know why I evoke her. Ever. It's like a mosquito poking a bear. It's laughable at first. But then you think about it and start fearing for the poor bastard's life. Roxy is simply a no-no in terms of fighting. You do not want to get on her bad side.
Between Scorpius' analysis of Quidditch strategies to which Roxy pays more attention than I thought she could master considering it's Scorp (Hey! Maybe this is why she dropped the Louis argument so fast. I knew I loved my Scorp for a reason!) and Rose's theory on snakes being just misunderstood gentle creatures (Every day I see more and more similarities she shares with her boyfriend. Let's just say it's not always fun being around them for too long.), a loud shriek breaks the air and I twirl around to watch in horror as Alice Longobottom falls to the ground in between the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor table. Professor Neville stands up urgently and runs to his daughter, who is laying on the stone lifeless. I try to reach her but the commotion is too big at this point. Her father picks her up and after unsuccessfully trying to wake her, he storms off, probably to the hospital wing.
I gape at them, my heart racing crazily.
* * *
I pace in front of the heavy door, Scorpius and Rose whispering in the background.
Scorp suddenly strolls to me and puts a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Dora, calm down. She'll be fine."
I nod. "You guys don't have to be here. I just wanna talk to her."
Lily gives me a strange look. Does she know, too? I didn't think about that. It would certainly make sense.
Roxy and Lee run to us, followed by a flushed Al and a puzzled Faldo who were called by the girls.
"How is she?" Al gives me a worried look.
I shake my head.
"What happened?" Faldo walks to me and squeezes my shoulder gently.
I tremble. "She, um... She fainted. Seriously, guys, it's probably just school stress. You don't have to be here."
"Alice and I've been friends since we were toddlers. We're like family. Of course I have to be here." Al shoots at me.
I blink, taken aback.
I guess I didn't think about how much Alice means to them all. Not just me.
And with Scorpius' Soulmate project, we all became rather close. He did a good deed and he isn't even aware of it.
I cast a look at him and Rose. She's leaning her head on his chest and holding his hand. Scorpius kisses the top of her head, all the time caressing her cheek.
I sigh and turn around to see Faldo gazing at me, an unfamiliar expression gracing his features.
That's when Professor Longbottom walks out from the hospital wing.
We all circle him with anticipation.
He smiles lightly, but the traces of his worry are still visible. "She's fine. You can go see her if you want."
Chaos ensues as we all try to get in at the same time and get stuck at the door.
"Stop, guys!" I shriek. "Please, let me go first. One by one. Ok?"
I hear some grumbling but we eventually agree it's for the best. Lily still stares at me, a curious expression on her face. I ignore it. Alice will tell her eventually.
I walk in, the smell of various potions surrounding me. The emptiness hits me like a sharp air. The hospital wing is so depressing. Thank Heavens I'm not that accident prone. I wouldn't be able to sit around here for too long. Or at all, for that matter.
Alice lays on the last bad in the corner, looking in front of her, lost in thoughts.
I near her slowly.
She glances up at me.
"I knew you'd come first." She smiles, albeit a little sad.
I smile back and sit next to her bed, taking her small hand. She looks so tired.
"Was it a really bad one?" I whisper, barely hearing my own voice.
She sighs. "Not precisely bad. Just very strong and visual. It took me by surprise."
"Does your dad know now?"
A beat of silence.
She then slowly nods. "I couldn't hide it anymore."
Alice tries to change her dismal expression but I can still see her hurt breaking through.
"You were right, Dora." She looks at me, steady. "I should have told him a long time ago. He wasn't mad."
"He loves you, Alice." I caress her palm. "He'll help you."
"I was stupid for thinking anything else, really." She agrees, a shy smile gracing her lips. "But I was just so... afraid."
"Of what?" I squeeze her hand.
Alice really brings out my motherly side. Not that I even knew I had one, until now.
"I'm a freak, Dora." She mutters, her eyes watering slightly. "I'm a burden. I didn't want him to have to deal with that. I don't want anyone to have. It should be just me. Always."
I stand up to hug her tightly, my heart breaking. "Don't be silly. I'm a freak, too. So what?"
She laughs into my hair, holding onto my body like it's her safety belt. "Thanks, Dora."
I sit back and study her face, wet from tears. "And lots of people love you. They want to see you, too."
"I know." She nods.
We sit in a short silence until Alice speaks again.
"They are a few good things that will come out of my... condition. That's the only thought that comforts me."
"What do you mean?" I'm curious.
She smiles, a little giggle escaping her. "Al will work on a potion that should be able to control the Seer's visions. You know, so they would stop doing what they did to me today."
"Oh, wow." I blink in surprise and astonishment. "Is he gonna be successful?"
She shakes her head. "Don't know. I haven't Seen that far into the future yet. But I Saw that he's pretty determined and supported."
Alice casts an absent gaze through the window. "He'll be happy in Spain."
"Oh." I utter, a bit dumb struck. "So you know that he's-"
"I know." Alice cuts me off, biting her lip.
"Well, I'm sure he'll make it. When he sets his mind onto something..."
"At least it'll bring him recognition." Alice smiles slightly. "That's good enough for me. And the fact that he's trying. Because of me. I inspired him."
"Well, will inspire him, to be precise." She chuckles. "It's a nice thought."
She then looks at her hands resting loosely in her lap, a faint blush creeping to her cheeks. I smile to myself, but let the assumption go. My wild imagination tends to scare people off. So I'll just keep this to myself. Until I break, that is. Knowing me, it won't last long.
"So, you're gonna tell him." I nod instead.
She shrugs. "I'll tell them all today. I think that they deserve to know."
I rub her back tenderly. "I really admire you, Alice."
"Why?" She grins but I can tell that she's taken aback, too.
"You could go out there and tell everyone that you're a Seer. You'd become famous. You could make such business out of it. But instead, you choose to use your Sight for good."
"Oh, Dora." She shakes her head at me. "It's quite the opposite, actually. I'm hiding and it's because I'm scared. And I could never master telling people their future. Not all of them have a happy ending, you know."
She gives me a sad smile. I nod, understanding completely.
"Telling you guys will be hard enough." She mutters again, her words barely over a shaky whisper.
I hug her tightly. "I know. Loving someone, opening up to people, it's always scary. But if it isn't... Well, I don't think it's love in the first place."
"Talking about Louis now, aren't you?" She smirks.
I open my mouth, trying to say something, and stare at her for a moment, ending speechless instead. Sometimes I forget how well she got to know me. And I'm not talking about her visions.
"I hate you."
She giggles and pulls away to gaze at me. "I know, Dora."
"He's not the one for me. I know, too." I sigh, understanding what she's aiming at.
"So what are you doing then?"
I glance up at her.
Really, what am I doing?
* * *
"And thanks to Roxanne Weasley, Kevin Jordan just scored! Ten points for Gryffindor!"
Roxy does one of those terrifying looking saltoes which make my stomach drop.
"Why does she have to do that?! It looks dangerous!" I squint at her tiny figure.
Faldo laughs. My stomach suddenly does a salto of it's own.
I still trow him a dirty look. He tries to fake a serious face. Major fail, Faldo. Major fail.
"You think this is funny?" I glare.
"No. It's just you who I find funny, I'm afraid." He now bursts into a loud laughter.
"Guys, guys, shut up, I'm trying to look at Dorian!" Charlie hushes us, her eyes fixated on the tall flying figure.
"Dorian? As in Dorian Thomas? As in Rose Weasley's ex boyfriend?"
I'm afraid of the answer.
"Duh. Is there any other Dorian at our school?" Lee rolls her eyes at me.
"Shhh!" He waves a hand at me and concentrates on the handsome Thomas again.
I sigh. Ever since Sam gave his girlfriend an engagement ring a couple of days ago (I mean, seriously. They're seventeen. Who does that?), Lee has been going boy-crazy. And I don't mean, regularly boy crazy. It's Charlie crazy. That's a whole other level of scary. The first poor and unsuspected target was that Hayden guy. Yeah, the pretty one. What? He does have some quite fascinating eyes. But Dorian Thomas? Won't Rose be angry? I know she's dating Scorpius now and all. Still... He was her second boyfriend. Doesn't that count for something?
Apparently, in Lee-land, it doesn't.
And speaking of the couple... Rose and Scorpius approach us, giggling at each other in between kisses. I snort. Faldo rolls his eyes. On the other hand, Lee would be vomiting rainbows if that was humanly possible.
"Oh, how cute." She sings.
"Faldo, hold me. I'm getting sick just looking at them."
He puts his arm around me. I start to laugh but suddenly it turns into something different than amusement. I steal a glance at him. He looks down at me. My breath cuts short.
"Guys, it's our first two week anniversary!" Scorpius yells at us and Faldo and I back up from each other with a jump. "We need to celebrate this!"
I clear my throat. "Heavens, I thought at least Rose would be more logic-driven."
"Seriously?" Faldo asks. "Isn't she the girl who kisses every boy who sings her 'Blue Eyes'?"
I nod, shrugging. "Touche."
"You are just jealous of our love." Scorpius mocks.
Rose giggles and kisses him a bit longer than I wanted to see. Not that I enjoy watching their kissing, at all.
"And Gryffindor wins!"
We all look in the air to see Roxy twirling in large circles doing some kind of a victory dance. Owen flies to her and they embrace shortly. I blink at the scene. But don't have time to really proceed it, as Albus walks to us, looking extremely mopish.
"Guys... We need to talk."
* * *
I follow Albus with a tense look as he nervously walks across the RoR. Everyone is still. I glance at Faldo, who glances back as if asking me-do you know anything about this?
I bite my lip. He raises his eyebrow.
"So..." Albus finally begins, after a twenty minutes pacing session.
"Al, I love you mate, but seriously. Hurry up. Rose and I need to plan our little party."
"Scorpius." He hushes him, blushing deeply. "That was supposed to be a private party. Don't tell everything."
"Urgh." I shudder.
Faldo smiles at me.
"I know, I'm sorry that I'm stealing your precious new-lovers time." He sighs. "And I'm sorry I chose this day, but if I didn't do it today, I think I'd burst."
"What's going on?" Faldo whispers into my ear.
I gulp slightly and move a little further away from him. "Just listen."
Albus steadies himself, closing his eyes for a moment to calm down. Then he looks at us all with great intensity.
"I... I'm moving to Spain this summer. Probably permanently."
I swear I can hear Lily breathing heavily from across the Room. That's how thick the silence is for a few seconds. Until...
"What?!" James stands up from his chair even knocking it down in the process.
"You can't do that! What about mum and dad-"
"They know." Al interjects trying hard to keep his cool. "And they approve."
Lily looks outright lost. And Scorpius and Rose are staring at Al as if he just declared he was Voldemort incarnated.
Faldo pulls me lightly to him. I gasp.
"I'm sorry, but it wasn't my thing to tell."
He breaths out and finally smiles, nodding his head. "I know. Sorry."
He stands up and walks away and I suddenly feel dizzy.
What is going on?
"Al." Faldo gives his friend a questioning look. "Is it for the Fine arts of potion making thing?"
Al nods wincing, probably expecting the worst.
"I'm happy for you." Faldo embraces him, leaving Al surprised and with a slight smile.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not." James storms out before anyone can go after him.
"Well, fuck. I sure as hell wasn't expecting this." Roxy lets out a deep breath. "Except for James' reaction. That was pretty spot on."
"Roxy, no swearing!" Lee reminds her with a loud hiss.
* * *
"Do you think James will come to his senses?" I ask Faldo as we near the common room after the disaster of Al's announcement.
Everyone went into another direction that night so it was just the two of us.
Just the two of us. Why is this sentence suddenly sounding so terrifying?
"Well, you know him better." He shrugs.
I nod. "You're right."
Don't listen to me. I'm just babbling.
Heavens. Why can't I keep myself together?
I suddenly freeze.
I know that voice.
Oh, this is not good. Not good at all.
I turn around to see Louis staring at Faldo and I practically glued to each other. When did that happen again?
I shoot him an earnest look. "Y-yeah?"
"I've been looking for you forever. Where have you been?"
I bite my lip. "Al had some news for us. You should probably find James. He's very upset and you're his best friend."
"What were the news?" Louis keeps on staring.
Crap, why does he seem like it's weird for me to stand next to Faldo?
Is it weird?
"You should really talk to Al about that." I suggest.
He nods. "Ok. Are we going to dinner together later, then?"
"Well, I was thinking about finishing my Potions essay... But if you want to, I can do it later."
"No, it's fine. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"
I smile in agreement.
Louis nods his head at Faldo, who nods back, and then stalks off.
It's no wonder Louis has been looking for me 'forever'. I've been making sure we don't meet. Even at the match. I only went because I knew he was busy with school.
I am so going to hell. And if there isn't any hell to go to, someone should definitely invent one just for me. I honestly deserve it.
"Do you need help with that Potions essay?" Faldo asks when we enter the common room finally. "I know it's not your favourite subject. To put it lightly."
He smiles at me, his bright eyes seeming more blue than ever. When he looks at me like this, I just loose all of my rationality.
"There's no essay. I was kind of lying." I gulp.
Why did I blurt that out? Why? Faldo doesn't need to know! Damn his soul piercing stare!
"But why?" He frowns, confused.
"I-I... Ok, you want the truth? Fine! I don't like Louis!"
Ok... Well... I guess now that I've said it... There's no turning back, right?
"I mean... I like him... as a friend. But not as a boyfriend."
The silence is killing me. Come on, Faldo, say something. Tell me I'm immature. Tell me I'm an idiot. Anything!
"Dora, what you're doing is really wrong. You have to tell him."
I huff. Why is it that sometimes, even though he says exactly what I need to hear, I'm not happy about it? Maybe I'm still getting used to embracing the fact that he's always so bloody right! Whilst I... Let's just say my feminine intuition isn't exactly eager to help me out.
"I know, I know. Don't preach now, please. My head is about to explode."
He smiles. "I know how you feel."
I glance at him. "Al?"
He nods, sighing. "I know I should be happy for him and I said that I am, but... I just keep thinking... I'm going to loose my best friend. And I'm not ready for that. Not now."
I take his hand lightly.
He laughs. "We're so bad, aren't we?"
"True that. But who cares?" I shrug. "I still think you're amazing."
As soon as my declaration leaves my mouth, I squint. What did I just say?
Maybe it's not that bad.
Ok, Faldo's staring at me. So it is pretty bad. I swallow hard.
I look up at him and his genuine smile. And I can't help but smile back.
"Come on." He pulls me toward the fireplace. "Let's play some good ol' chess."
"You know I'll kick your arse, Faldo. Like always. Why even try?" I return with a smirk.
"Maybe because I like it when you kick my arse."
I loose my grip and follow him with a long gaze as he sits next to the fireplace. The warm flickers light his face, bringing out his mesmerizing eyes. He smiles at me.
"Do you really think I'm a bad person?"
He stands up and walks to me. I look up at him (Yes, he got even taller in these past few months. ).
Why am I staring at his lips, though? They never seemed so fascinating before. No, they weren't fascinating at all.
"To quote you, Blue-I think you're amazing."
I'm not sure why, but I let out a laugh. Faldo smirks in return.
Then I go to sit in the corner, Faldo following my lead. We get the chess table out and place the black and white figures on the right fields with our wands. His hair is falling down again, blocking his eyes. Thank Heavens for that. His looks are so hard to handle these days.
We play and, of course, I kick his arse. But like he said, he doesn't mind. We get stuck in the common room until after midnight. Until I'm sure I took his mind of Al's transfer just enough for him to laugh and have a good time.
It's strange. I have become somewhat protective of Faldo. I like it when he's smiling and it hurts when he's not.
That's why, almost the whole night, I try to think of ideas on how to cheer him up tomorrow.
Finally, around two o'clock in the morning, after shifting for the thirtieth time, I get it.
Now I only have to persuade Al.
Piece of cake.
* * *
It turns out, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Persuading Al, I mean. Which makes me sad. That was probably the only thing I was perfect in.
"Al, come on. Just give it to me!"
"No, Dora!" Al glares at me. "If you asked for anything else, I would. But the invisibility cloak-just no! Dad made me promise-"
"Al!" I grab his collar and he gulps.
I stare into his emerald eyes with such intensity, even I'm a little afraid of myself. "Listen to me, you little Spain freak. Faldo loves you. You're like a brother to him. A brother he never had. You know he's lonely and when you leave, he'll be even more so. Sure, he has Scorp. But there's a reason he told you everything and not him. You're more than a friend to him. You're his family. And considering his parents, I think you are his only true family. So, you little slime, you are going to give me that cloak and let me cheer him up. Maybe it will take his mind of your transfer long enough for him to laugh a little. And if you don't want him to be happy, well, then... I'll be ashamed to ever have called you my favourite cousin."
I let him go and Al stumbles back. He breaths slowly and then gives me a long, deep look.
"He told you?"
I sit on the lazy bag that the Room summoned up for me, crossing my arms. Al takes his seat next to me, all the way staring senseless. I nod slowly.
Al smiles. "You really care about him, don't you?"
"Well, so-so." I shake my hand.
Al laughs. I glare at him.
"Dad made me promise to only use it when it's highly necessary. You know, life threatening emergencies. But..."
Al's looking at me with a mixture of admiration, love and pride. It's a very humbling look. I don't think I deserve all of that.
"I think you're right. It is highly necessary and important to me that Drake laughs and is happy. So..."
I perk up at his words with hope.
"I will give it to you."
I squeal and hug Al. He struggles to breath for a moment. Then, he pats my back in a warm, brotherly way.
"But I wouldn't worry about him that much. He'll have you." He winks at me.
I blush slightly, unable to come up with a witty comment this time around.
Al stands up abruptly. "Come on, let's get the cloak."
I smile and take his offered hand.
Heavens, I'll so miss persuading Al.
* * *
"Blue, what is this all about?" Faldo yawns, barely awake.
He looks adorable in his black jumper and jacket, all wrapped up in a blue scarf.
Wait. What?! I said adorable again?
"Just follow my lead."
We finally reach a deserted corridor. You know, with Hogwarts being so big, you'd expect there to be more of them.
Faldo lets go of my hand and I reach for my bag. I pull the cloak out, grinning mischievously.
He raises an eyebrow.
"What is this? Halloween part two?"
"Will you shut up already?"
I stretch the fabric and Faldo's eyes grow bigger. I'm pretty sure he gasped a little, too.
"Ah-ha. Now get your arse over here."
I pull him toward me. Our bodies almost collide. I look up at him, feeling a little lost. What was I going to do again?
I trow the cloak over us. It barely covers us as we are both giants, apparently.
"What are you doing, Blue?"
"I'm fulfilling a promise I made."
"Shh. Just go with it."
We go down to the first floor, thankfully without being noticed.
But just as we near the entrance door, I hear a voice. I turn around to see Filch with Mrs Norris, The Fourth. That man is just way too persistent about having a cat named Mrs Norris. It creeps me out.
"What is it, Mrs Norris?" He follows her, frowning (Translated, with his usual facial expression.).
The cat nears us. I almost gasp but Faldo covers my mouth and we go backwards slowly, behind a column. For a moment, the only sound I can hear is his heart beating against mine. And the only thing I can feel is his body pressed on mine. I gaze at his soft profile while he waits for Filch to go away. Finally, as that happens, he turns to me.
"Uh-yeah, ok. So... Yes! Let's go."
He smiles at me as I pull him toward the door. We succeed to get outside, the cold air hitting us hard.
I gasp. "We made it!"
"So, then, will you finally tell me where are we going?"
"Patience, young mister." I mock.
"You do realize that I could just turn around and leave you, right?"
My heart drops a little. "Will you?"
"And miss a chance to see what craziness you've come up with? Never."
I chuckle. "Then, move it."
After we leave the school's grounds for good, I take the cloak off. I cast a look at Faldo, taking in his tall figure. He sure has grown in these past months. For years he was barely the same height as I. And it really made sense that he would call me freakishly tall. Now, with him being six feet and two inches tall, I think he does it only with nostalgia. I don't mind it anymore, though. Like a lot of things I don't mind about him these days...
Soon, we reach Hogsmead and Faldo smirks at me.
"Get it now?" I smile.
"You're really something, Blue."
I look away, trying to cover up the blush.
No one really notices that we're too young to be here since the school visits haven't started yet. Maybe it has to do with the fact that both Faldo and I dress like we're in our twenties. Just a bit too serious.
We walk to 'Sweet Lavander' in silence, only the wind whispering around us.
The store screams sweet, so the name is really appropriate. Faldo and I start looking at all the candies, our eyes hurting from all the bright colors.
"Hello, my loves!"
I jump up, hitting Faldo in the process.
Miss Brown, the owner, strides to us, wearing the biggest smile ever.
I heard stories about her before and I shopped here countless of times, but she still scares the crap out of me. Or, maybe that's exactly why she does.
She has become known as the most man loving single woman of all England. Has had countless of partners and never settled down. Instead, she loves the romance. And, as soon as a man would start loosing interest, she would break off, yearning to preserve the sweet memory of their first days. She has a 'love board' hanged over the counter, too. And she's not at all ashamed of how many romances he had. Actually, she kind of takes pride in it.
"Can I help you, love birds?" She winks at us, her big eyes popping out of her pink glasses.
"We're not-" I begin but she cuts me off.
"I have the perfect thing for you!"
She storms off into the room behind the counter. Faldo and I try not to look at each other. I didn't know this would be so embarrassing. What was I thinking, though? It is Lavander Brown, after all.
She soon comes back, carrying all sorts of heart candies.
"Miss Brown, we really..."
"Take all of these, please! Seeing young love like yours, it takes me back..."
She sighs and wanders into a daydream. Faldo and I take this opportunity to actually look through the real sweets.
Every kind has a test sample so Faldo tries a bunch of them. I giggle as he eats one that he claims tastes like a rotten chicken with pickles. He forces me then to try it myself. I don't know what he's talking about, though. It's delicious! The boy clearly has no taste. Or rather, he was raised to eat bull. I gaze at him again, as he smiles while chewing carefully. Like a bomb is going to explode any second. Or his stomach, for that matter. It's quite sad that he never had all the joys a child should have. I wish I knew him back then. Of course, we would still fight. But, in the end, I'm sure I'd come to like him. Just like I do now.
"Wow, I actually like this one." I hear him say and wake up from my daydream.
Wait... I just had a daydream... about Faldo?
I bite my lip. So ok... This is... new.
Faldo shows me the candy, interrupting yet another daydream emerging.
"Rabbit lick?" I frown at him, eyeing the rabbit shaped sweet that wobbles it's long ears cheerfully. "Are you joking?"
"Why?" He seems confused.
"That's the least sweet of all sweets."
"Well, I like it." He crosses his hands over his chest.
His firm, broad chest...
I shake my head. "All right. I guess it's some kind of a progress. But we're coming back in December and I will force you to eat pumpkin pie!"
He looks scared. Why does it make him all adorable again, though? I giggle.
"Merlin, Blue. You're weird."
"Well, look who says it, mister I-love-healthy-food."
"Really?" Miss Brown finally wakes up from her haze. "Good gracious, boy. Live a little."
He frowns. I laugh.
After an additional fifteen minutes, we leave the store. Not without the blessing of love goddess herself.
"How can you handle her?" Faldo shudders.
"I usually just ignore her." I shrug. "But she was very persistent today. Probably because I finally brought a boy along."
As soon as I say it, I blush furiously. What is wrong with me?
"Well, you do have a boyfriend now. Maybe you can take him." He mutters.
I let a few beats of silence pass before I answer.
"I'm going to break up with him."
Heavens, I have no self control.
"Oh." Faldo says shortly. "I though you'd try to work on it."
"It's not meant to be." I return a bit too fast.
"Meant to be?" Faldo smirks, teasing me. "So you do believe in fate?"
I shrug. "Maybe a little. But don't tell anyone."
When we near the castle again, I trow the cloak back on us. When Faldo presses himself next to me, my breath hitches. The walk becomes somewhat too intense. I try to act like this is all so cool. Like his presence is not nerve wracking at all. And the thing is, it wasn't before. But today, it's like all the rules that applied before suddenly vanished. And it's just us. Faldo and I. Alone. Close. And I can hear his heart beat. And it scares me. It scares me how scared I am. Scared he'll notice that I'm trembling. And scared because... What the fuck is going on with me?
We reach the Ravenclaw entrance, which is thankfully deserted. But even so, I don't take off the cloak.
I just stare at him.
"What is it?" He whispers, his eyes burning mine.
And I seriously have no clue what I'm thinking. I just ... I'm...
I'm kissing him.
I'm kissing him!
It's terrifying because it feels like I'll break any second now. And it's so hot beneath the cloak. And I can't feel anything but his lips.
But he's not moving. He's not kissing back. Oh, no. No!
Dora, what are you doing?!
That's when I remember that-hey, I have a boyfriend. And Faldo is definitely not him.
I back off only to see a lost expression on Faldo's face.
No, no, no!
I take off the cloak and run off maniacally.
I can feel my eyes burning from tears. And it hurts. It hurts like hell.
I climb into my bed, ignoring both Lee and Ophelia asking me what's wrong.
Don't they see?! Everything is wrong!
I bury my head into the pillow and stay awake 'till the morning, crying myself into sleep finally at five o'clock, completely exhausted. Physically, too. But mostly emotionally.
* * *
I jump up and turn round quickly, my heart climbing to my throat.
"Oh, thank Heavens it's only you, Roxy." I breath out.
"What are you doing here?" She frowns at me.
Here is at the entrance of the Great Hall, peaking into it, trying to figure out what Faldo's doing.
"Nothing." I shrug innocently.
"You can't lie. Why even try?" She rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed.
"Are you coming to dinner or what?" She starts to pull me in.
Roxy stares at me.
"I mean, no, thanks. I'm full." I cough. "Hey, do you think you could call Louis here. But discretely?"
She rolls her eyes at me, again. "Fine."
I take the opportunity as she leaves and steal a glance at Faldo.
He's failing at eating, as he's staring at the wall behind Al. Poor Al, doesn't even know that no one's listening to him. Since, you know, Rose and Scorp really like each other and Lee is no where to be seen.
Then I finally notice that Louis is coming my way.
I take a deep breath.
Ok, so this is going to be hard. I suck at this so bad. Just remember Tate. It took me months to tell him off.
Louis finally reaches me.
"Dora." He nods his head and crosses his arms.
What? Not even a kiss? He's usually so eager to give me one. Or two. Or dozens. Not that I enjoy them that much. But still. I kinda got used to them.
"Louis, can we go somewhere and talk? In private?"
"Sure." He shrugs, but keeps the cold face on.
The walk to the Astronomy Tower which Louis chose, is so quiet, I want to claw my eyes out. Probably the most awkward ten minutes of my life. Until it's time to tell him why I dragged him out here in the first place.
I clear my throat and open my mouth theatrically, but Louis cuts me off.
"Dora, you said you hate confrontations, so I'm going to spare you." He sighs. "I know you want to break up."
Oh. Well that was faster than I though it would be.
"It's ok." He smiles at me. "It's better like this. The faster you realize that you want out, the better for the both of us, really. You're doing the right thing, Dora. And I'm not mad."
I smile back, suddenly feeling a great deal of affection toward him. "How are you so perfect?"
He laughs. "Trust me, I'm not. I just have more experience in this than you. Listen, I like you. But I'm not in love with you. So-"
The way he was behaving, you'd think he was obsessed with me.
Louis laughs again. "I know I can come off strong. I'll try to work on that."
I go and hug him awkwardly. "Thanks, Louis. I'm sorry it didn't work out."
"But it could have." He whispers into my hair. "If only you wanted."
I back away to look at him, confused. "What do you mean?"
"Dora, it's pretty obvious." He cups my cheek tenderly. "You didn't want us to work. And it's because you're in love with Drake."
I stare at Louis as if he suddenly spoke in an alien language and I'm desperately trying to comprehend what he's saying. But I fail.
He pats my back. "Tell him. I have a feeling he'll like what you have to say."
With that and a small wink, Louis walks away.
And I stand there in the Tower, alone.
And it all comes back to me.
The way Faldo looks at me in that warm, gentle way, when the fire lights his eyes in a soft shade by the fireplace; when he gives me the most amazing smile and tells me that he doesn't remember ever having so much fun; when we stand in front of my dorm and he gives me a quick peck on the cheek and I gaze at him long enough to notice every dot in his eyes; when he pats my back like we're long time buddies; when he brushes that strand of hair off his forehead; when he sings-oh, Heavens, how he sings; when he tries to act all innocent even though I know he's been stealing my pens; when he gets angry when someone still bullies me because of my dad; when he stares sometimes at little siblings sharing meals, the yearning for one so apparent; when he whispers into my ear making me feel all warm inside; when he looks so strong even though every mention of Al going away makes him wince slightly; when he asks me if I'll ever eat a carrot in my life and looks all serious about it; when he thoughtfully wakes me up when I fall asleep on the common room table writing an essay; when he gives me that look when I say something outrageous; when he sometimes just randomly squeezes my arm; when he thinks I'm brave when no one else does, and when I kissed him...
I just know.
And I stand there, alone, my heart beating in madness.
I place my hand over it, not able to catch a breath. Not able to be still.
I leave the Tower, shaking when I lay in my bed that night.
And when I can't fall asleep from the loud beating in my chest, not even for a second, his smile dancing in front of my eyes like some sort of a dream...
I finally know.
A/N: And she knows! :D Oh, Dora, why so slow, right? Hehe, I would really like to hear your oppinion on this chapter since it's kind of huge.
Plus, Dora was a bad girl considering Louis, wasn't she? I hope you still like her, though. :) No one's perfect. Tell me in a review! :D
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