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Chapter 15 : We Are Both Moronic Morons.
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It was just before ten, and I was reading a Healer Book (this one was even more interesting than the last – How to Mix Potions With Speed. Three guesses on what it’s about), nestled into Al and doing my best to ignore him muttering under his breath at the screen (“No, you moron – duck! Duck, you little fucker – no! Damnit, if he’d ducked, he wouldn’t have gotten hit by that bludger…it was right in front of him, honestly, how stupid can you get?!”). After about an hour of trying not to fall asleep or smack Al and tell him to shut the hell up, I decided to give up and just watch the damned game with him.
But then I got bored of that, and decided to bug Al about Rose and Scorpius.
I’m so lucky I can take away his snogging privileges at this point – otherwise he wouldn’t ever listen to me.
Yes, I’m a manipulative bitch and enjoying every second of it.
“Why us?” Al asked distractedly, staring in rapture at the almost-perfect Wronski Feint performed by Darien Watts, the Magpie Seeker who Al was going to replace.
“Who else is going to fix their dysfunctional relationship?” My dad? I let out a little snort at the thought of him trying to play cupid. He’d probably thump Scorpius on the back and tell him to stop being a nancy and just snog the girl.
And then mum would jump in and thump dad on the back, then sweetly remind him that it had taken him about four months just to get her to smile at him.
At this, dad would turn cherry red…and then we’d all laugh at him.
I love my family.
“Swerve…swerve…” Al murmured, his hand tightening unconsciously around my waist as his eyes widened at the screen.
“Al.” I hit him across the chest, and then instantly regretted it as I tried to hold back a girly sigh at the feel of his muscles.
“Yeah, hold on,” he said to me, leaning forward as the Seeker got closer to the snitch. I was irritated, but at the same time, I thought this was so utterly adorable that I couldn’t even get fully annoyed. I sighed to myself as he accidentally dragged me forward with him, unrelenting in his hold around my waist – since when did I think he was adorable? Hell, since when did I think anything was adorable?
Well…there was that one time Scorpius rescued a puppy from a tree in the middle of a really bad rainstorm at my insistence. That was pretty adorable.
Al sat back with a satisfied sigh as the Seeker’s fist closed around the snitch and pulled me back against his chest, stuffing his face in my hair and nuzzling into the back of my neck. I giggled and pushed him away, hating myself for every second of cuteness.
“Rose and Scorpius,” I reminded him as he leaned in to kiss me.
“Fuck those tossers.”
“Al, stop – no, we have to talk about this!” I jumped out of bed just as he lunged. He let out a frustrated groan and looked up at me.
“Now?” he asked.
I glared. “Yes, now.”
“Fine.” He held his arms out and I grudgingly climbed back into bed. Secretly, I was thoroughly enjoying the attention and the way he made me feel loved.
But I’m Adele Malfoy (-Potter), and I don’t need a guy to complete me. After all, I’m an independent young woman, and along with my biting sarcasm and cold, callous heart, I’m the kind of girl who would be perfectly content living by herself.
Fine. I’m completely knackered and I can’t do anything about it.
Al Potter is perfect.
Don’t get me wrong – we’re far from love in our…relationship, for lack of proper term to describe whatever the hell we have. Right now, it’s just more of a…mutual comfort, if you will. We enjoy snogging (especially each other), and we’re comfortable around each other. We still get into furious arguments over the stupidest things, but…
He gives me butterflies.
You know, that funny fluttering feeling you get in your stomach when a person of your fancy grins at you? Or when he ruffles his hair and you just really, really want to do it for him? Or when he bites his lip and suddenly you’re desperate for a snog?
It’s kind of sickening.
But it’s true.
“If you were planning on sitting there and staring off into space, we could have just snogged a couple times and called it a night.”
Al’s voice pulled me out of my reverie, and I slapped him absently on the arm. “Shut up, I’m thinking.”
“Oh Merlin. Don’t hurt yourself.”
I hit him again.
“So, Mr. Mastermind of all things Prankster…what do you have in mind for Rose and Scorpius?” I turned and said brightly to Al when I drew up a big fat blank. Honestly, those two are so fucked-up I fear the only thing that will fix them is a couple of days in a padded cell together. They’ll probably end up shagging. This probably will make things even worse, especially when we take Rose’s tendency to over think every little part of her life into consideration.
Al shrugged. “I dunno. I just want to kiss you right now. Maybe then I’ll be able to think.” He grinned hopefully at me.
I got up and went towards the door.
“Oi, get back over here,” Al called petulantly from the bed. “You can’t go waltzing around the house in my clothes –”
“Yeah? Try me.” I shot him a challenging smirk.
“Adele, you’re wearing nothing but my old Quidditch Jersey. My family is going to get suspicious.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “For your information, I’m just going to James so that he can help me. You’re clearly incapable when it comes to things like these.”
I waited, making sure I didn’t look too eager, as this processed in Al’s brain. I could practically see his laziness and his pride battling it out in that brain of his…and I knew that pride was going to –
“Fine. Just get back in bed before I go insane seeing you in that jersey.”
I allowed myself a congratulatory grin before jumping back into bed and kissing him on the cheek in appreciation. He pouted at the blank WT screen.
“I feel like you just manipulated me and it worked.”
“Your feelings are correct.”
I grinned at the grudging admiration in his voice. “Don’t even deny that you think it’s hot.”
He laughed into my hair. “Honestly, I think it’s bloody sexy.”
I bit my lip before a full-blown smile threatened to overtake my face. Bloody hell, this kid is going to be the death of me.
Bloody hell. This chit is going to be the absolute death of me. I groaned slightly at the thought, and Adele moved slightly in response, pressing her back closer to my chest. My arm tightened around her stomach without me even realizing it. She let out a little moaning noise, and I kissed the back of her hair.
She smells like bloody roses and honeysuckles. Is that even possible?! How can someone smell so good all the time? It’s like I could just sniff this girl all day.
…once again, I’m completely and totally fucked.
Honestly, what kind of moron falls for the one girl who only really likes him as a good snog?
A really moronic moron, that’s who.
But the thing about Adele Potter is that she’s bloody aggravating beyond anything, but she’s just…perfect. In her own, weird-ass way, I guess. And I don’t pretend like I even know what’s going on half the time with this girl, but I do know that I’m pretty much in love with every second of time I have with her, even though she always manages to piss me off like no other. And that’s just extremely pathetic, because I’m a seventeen-year-old bloke, and I should be horny and unhappy with settling down right now, and this one girl shouldn’t make me feel so utterly satisfied even though I haven’t even gotten laid yet.
Seriously, she’s my wife and I should have shagged her rotten a billion times by this point.
She’s also a prude and freaks out every time my hands move up her stomach just a little too much.
Like seriously, who cares if she gets pregnant?
…well, I do. I don’t want any little suckers running around until after I’m 25. They’d cramp my style with their constant whining and desperate need for attention. Teddy hasn’t gotten any for months because Victoire keeps getting preggers.
I shuddered at the thought. Four children…bloody hell. I don’t even want one.
Hold on…WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT CHILDREN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
“You drive me insane,” I muttered to the back of Adele’s hair, burying my face in it until my nose brushed against the back of her neck. This time I smelled a hint of vanilla.
I hate how soft and fragrant she is. Makes it hard to keep my hands away from her. Not that I’d ever really want to, because she’s a bloody good snog and her body is hot as hell…but she won’t even let me take off her clothes. Bitch.
“Do I?” Adele murmured back, taking me completely by surprise. But I kept my cool (I’m a boss at keeping my cool) and instead kissed the back of her neck.
“Hmm,” I rumbled, leaving three kisses in a straight line. Bleeding hell, she needs to stop being so soft, it makes me go a bit crazy.
“You make my brain fart sometimes,” she said cheerfully, wiggling herself deeper into my hug. I grunted out a laugh.
Honestly, most guys make girls “swoon” or “erupt into a mass of thousand fluttering butterfly wings” or something equally, nauseatingly poetic.
What do I do?
Well, I make her brain fart.
Merlin, I must be one pretty hot-damn romantic bloke to evoke that kind of emotion in my wife.
“How so?” I asked her. I didn’t care, really (because of course I made her thinking go wonky. She wants me), but I love listening to her explain something in her insane kind of way. Sometimes I almost wonder if she’s escaped from Mungo’s. I hear they keep the loonies at a place called Five West. Adele would probably rock Five West like the super-hot, super-feisty little freak that she is.
But right when I’m thinking of admitting her for good, she goes and does something so…utterly normal, and…I don’t even know, but just something that just screams human and caring and loving and just…nice, and I have to reel back and rethink everything about her.
Drives me totally nuts, it does.
I mean, bloody hell, how is it possible for someone to have so many sides to their personality? She’s got to be making one of them up. She’s got to be acting somewhere along the line.
Merlin, I sure hope it’s not with me because then I’d pretty much be screwed for life. I don’t really think I’d be able to find someone else after her.
Truth is, I think she’s iridescent.
And she’s the one who told me to never let someone like that go.
So I’m keeping her.
I hope she falls for me too, because then life would be easy and I’d get shagged and I think we should name our first child something really badass like Atticus.
Ha, just kidding.
I’d name our child Ayden.
Now that is a boss name.
“Are you going to answer?” I asked her softly, realizing in my internal rant about my future son Ayden, that she’d completely failed to acknowledge my question.
I felt her shrug against me. “I just can’t think straight around you.” But her voice was so quiet and truthful and I’m pretty sure if I was a girl I’d call my bffl and squeal for an hour.
But I am a man. A very manly man.
(I’m telling Scorpius tomorrow. Who cares if she’s his little sister? He owes me for listening to his rant on Rose’s body. Fine, I ignored it because it made me nauseous. But I sat through it and didn’t punch him, so it counts.)
Anyway. I am a manly man, so I’ll do something manly and hot and really sexy in response to my wife’s confession.
(And then I’ll grow a moustache and lift some weights and grow five beards and another moustache and get totally even more jacked than I already am to begin with.
Because I am manly.)
Just kidding, I kissed her.
I like kissing her. She’s a good kisser.
Besides, facial hair makes me look a bit wonky.
Another morning of being fully clothed and I’m pretty sure I’ll go crazy. I swear to Merlin she’s doing this on purpose, just to tease me and make me want to explode into nothing more than a mass of nerves and general freakishness.
And I’m Albus freaking Potter. I don’t do ‘nerves and general freakishness’. Normally, I do ‘sexy’.
And I do it damn well, ask anyone.
Except Adele, she’ll say no.
But I know she wants me.
I sighed again, wishing there was a way out of this situation without waking her up and alerting her to the fact that I was trying to sneak away and take a long cold shower.
But of course not.
Merlin, after all, hates me.
Thanks man. I appreciate this, you know. Keep up the great work!
Adele wigged herself into a new, probably more comfortable position on top of me and I stuffed a large piece of blanket into my mouth to avoid screeching like a little girl. Bloody fucking hell, someone please get her away from my manly bits before I have a heart attack.
But all thoughts of violence and heart attacks flew from my mind as she made a little humming noise of content and snuggled her head into my neck, nuzzling her nose against my jaw as she fisted a piece of my shirt in her tiny hand and pressed the bottom of her foot against my calf.
I’ll admit that I melted a little.
Tell anyone and I will castrate you.
I don’t care if you’re female.
I’ll find a way to inflict that kind of pain on you. So be afraid, bitch.
And if you’re male, well…I’ll bet you’re already afraid. So continue being afraid…man-bitch.
Yeah, I just told you. Whaddup.
Oh fuck…why is she running her foot up and down my leg. Why. Someone stop her. I am going to die a painful death of blatant sex deprivation yet constant teasing if someone does not make this girl stop.
I bit down harder on the little piece of blanket, and I think I actually tore it a bit. Before I could completely implode from this torture, though, she started sniffling a little – which I knew was her indication of just starting to wake up.
Yeah, I know. She sniffles before she’s about to get up.
I don’t understand it either, and yes, it is a weird as sodding hell.
And I’m not creepy for knowing this about her. Shut up.
I quickly shut my eyes and started breathing deeply just as I saw the first flutter of her eyelashes (have I mentioned how bloody long those things are?! I swear to Merlin – you can see them against her cheeks when her eyes are closed! It’s abnormal to have lashes that long, I tell you) so I could save myself from a potentially awkward moment.
Wow, what a sexy troll imitation. No wonder blokes think this bird is so hot.
I’m pretending to be asleep.
Adele shifted on top of me again. I suppressed the urge to rip off her clothes and shag her right there. Then, right in the middle of the agony of having her move, she just…froze.
Seems like she’s realized what’s going on here. She scrambled off of me as fast as she could, but I followed the movement and trapped her back against my chest in case she wanted to get out of bed or something equally ridiculous. She sighed as I buried my face into the back of her head.
“You,” I told her, “are a tease.”
“I didn’t know,” she mumbled, leaning into me slightly. “Sorry for straddling you though. I’m sure you enjoyed it.”
I laughed. “A little too much,” I said pointedly.
The back of her neck flushed.
“I mean,” I kissed the pinkness and it turned a shade deeper. I love this girl’s reactions to these things. “You could always help me fix my problem…”
She elbowed me in the abs, then let out a short cry and clutched her arm in pain.
“You pig,” she huffed.
“Hey,” I said, flipping her around and underneath me so that I could kiss her mouth. I pulled away, “it’s not a crime to want your wife, you know.”
She rolled her pretty grey eyes, and stuck her tongue out at me.
I bit it lightly.
So she pulled my face down and snogged me within an inch of my life.
I knew she was a horny minx somewhere in there.
BOO AL'S POV! :D
though for right now, that's probably all Al's POV you guys are going to get -- i rather like having this story in just adele's point of view; the way she sees things is so different to what they're really like.
BUT i had to have some Al in there -- this is a MAJOR DEVELOPMENT in their relationship....thing.
besides, i like the comparison.
(you'll find out next chapter. hopefully you get what i'm saying.)
i'm trying to bang out a chapter 16 as fast as i can, but unfortunately i'm trying to be an overachiever so expect a really epic chapter to end this spree with a BANG :)
till then, please review!
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