Chapter 6 : Chapter 5 - Just See: what I Write in a Letter of my Own
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A/N: I am SO SORRY for the delay on this chapter guys! My work hours for the month of March were absolutely ridiculous. I barley had time to do anything else, well, besides work that is, lol. So I do hope that all will be forgiven, and hopefully you will find this chapter well worth the wait! There will probably only be 1 or 2 more chapters after this, but I have had so much fun writing it!! PLEASE leave me a review at the end. I would love to hear people’s opinions on the letter that Sandreiah writes to Roxanne, as well as your thoughts/opinions in Iris’ character too, haha! =)
I had drawn back the curtains of my four-poster for privacy, and was sitting in my bed, hunched over a small pit of parchment of my own. I had spent at least an hour pouring over what to write, and how exactly to word everything that I had to say. When at last I thought that I was satisfied with it, I held it up to examine my work. It wasn’t much, but I was certain that it would get the point across.
This is what I wrote in a letter of my own:
Hi. I know you don’t really know me, but I’m sure you’ve heard of me before. My name is Sandreiah; Sandreiah Malfoy, and I’m the girl Lysander is truly in love with. I mean, lets be honest here. If you look at the facts, he didn’t even start talking to you until that week that he and I weren’t speaking.
Not that it’s any if your business, but we got into a little disagreement on our last date. Yes, I called it a date, because that is what it was. He was going to ask me out that night, you see, because he and I are totally in love with one another. But then we had that fight, and he didn’t talk to me for a whole week afterwards… which is about where you came in. So in a way, if you think about it, you were kind of only like his rebound girl, and nothing more.
Let me tell you a little something about Lysander Scamander; I know he may talk a good talk, and he’s probably already told you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. But all of that is nothing but an act so that he can manipulate his way into your pants. I mean, seriously, he’s a year older than you, and he’s way more popular than you. Why else do you suppose he would suddenly started taking an interest in you? Face it; he wasn’t getting any action from me, so there is only one thing that could have been on that boy’s mind when he started talking to you in that week that he and I were taking a break.
And that’s all it really was; a break. But Lysander and I have been taking “breaks” like that off and on again for over a year now. For Merlin’s sake; I honestly don’t see how you could possibly go to this school and NOT know that, as fast as gossip spreads around here! So please don’t try to say that you didn’t see this one coming, because it would have been as plain as day to you, if you had only been paying the slightest bit of attention.
As I’m sure he has already made you aware, I know all about that first little date that the two of you had at The Three Broomsticks a month or so ago. After that happened, I told him that I refused to be his second-choice, and I made him pick right then and there. That was when he told me that he loved me, and swore that I was the one he wanted. Lysander promised me, right then and there, that he would never see you again; not if it meant losing me.
Now don’t get me wrong, you seem like a nice girl and all, which is why I hate to have to be the bearer of bad news here... but sweetie, he’s just not that into you. I know this for a fact because, in the letter that he wrote for you today; the one that I conveniently intercepted, he mentioned something about “ending things with me”. Now I have no idea of exactly what that was supposed to mean, but I can assure you that he and I have not had any conversations about ending anything between us.
In fact, when I brought your name up to him here just the other day, he told me that you were a nobody now. He assured me that you guys have had little-to-no contact since that first date in Hogsmeade. Obviously that was a big fat lie, however, because otherwise I would not be sitting here writing to you right now. He has sworn to me that there is nothing going on between you two, and he even told me that he was not interested in you at all. But I am no idiot. I have had to put up with Lysander’s crap for long enough to be able to tell the difference between when he is lying, and when he is being truthful.
I can’t trust him anymore. I have given him too many chances now, and he has ruined each and every one of them. But hey, if you think that you can handle having to put up with a guy like that, each and every single day, then be my guest! I will warn you though that Lysander Scamander is not always as he appears. I have known him for five years now, and dated him several times throughout the course of the last year. So believe me when I tell you that underneath all the charm and good looks, he is sneaky, selfish and conceited. I know it may not seem like that right now, but that’s probably because he’s just been putting on an act in order to impress you and gain your approval.
As you can see, it would appear that you and I are both kind of in the same situation here... obviously, we are both attracted to the same guy, yet both of us have been lied to by said guy, and now we’re both clearly still being played by that same guy. So the question I have to ask you is this: what are you going to do about it next? I for one am certainly not about to be some asshole’s second choice, I’ll tell you that! And, if he still decides he wants me after this, then I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be either.
I do apologize for any pain that this letter may cause you, for I truly am sorry about all of this. However, if I were being played by some guy, I surely would want to know about it up front, before I went and got myself too involved with him to turn back . You seem like a nice girl, Roxanne, so I just thought you should know the truth about what was really going on. I can honestly say that I really do understand how you must be feeling right about now, because this has been tearing me up inside ever since I first found out about it.
But you won’t have to worry about me being in your way for too much longer though, because it seems like things between he and I are just about over. Personally, I cannot deal with his higher-than-thou attitude anymore, and I will not tolerate his bossy nagging and obsessive lying for too much longer. So if you still want him after reading this, I suppose that you can have him then! I just wanted you to know the truth before you went and made a decision like that though. And if you do decide to keep him, well then, just remember this letter when it all goes wrong for you like it did for me... You have been warned.
There, that should do it, I thought to myself as I signed the letter, dotting the 'i' in my name. I chuckled a little as I took a moment to ponder what was going to happen in the Great Hall when Roxanne received my letter tonight. True; I could have gotten mad and confronted him myself, shouted at him, and maybe even slapped him in the face for lying to me. But for some reason, this subtle way of getting my revenge just seemed so much more satisfying.
Yes, I know, an innocent person was probably going to get hurt in the process of it... But Roxanne wasn’t exactly entirely innocent in this, was she? Well, if Lysander actually told her that we were over, and she believed he was a free agent, then yeah, she kind of is, my conscience whispered to me.
No, stop it Sandreiah! I scolded myself, shaking my head vigorously back and forth in an attempt to clear all of the nagging thoughts from it. She is just as guilty of hurting you as he is. I nodded in agreement with my inner-self. As I had already pointed out in my letter; there was no way that she could possibly have been going to the same school as he and I did, and not know that we had a thing together. I mean, Lysander Scamander and I should have been considered as old news by that point.
Think about what would happen if you were her though. Put yourself in Roxanne's shoes, the nagging voice inside my head returned. I rolled my eyes at it and tried to push it away again. I did not want to think about how I would feel if Roxanne Weasley had suddenly decided to write me a personalized letter, just to tell me that she was stealing my would-be-future-husband away. Something like that would simply be too heartbreaking.
So don’t you think she’s going to be heartbroken when she reads the letter you wrote then? my conscience asked me, speaking this time in my mother‘s voice. Yeah, that certainly did sound like something mum would have said to me, if she had been there at that time. But not even my own mother could stop me from doing what I was about to do. I had already gone to the trouble of writing my response letter, and I was going to send it no matter what the cost.
As if to prove that point, although it was to no one in particular, save for my conscience, I stubbornly threw open the curtains from my four-poster bed and made to put on my shoes. I had just started tying up the laces on my second foot when a voice rang out of nowhere.
“And just where do you think you’re going?” I nearly jumped out of my half-tied shoes. It was a Sunday afternoon, so I hadn’t expected anyone to be down in the common room with me at that time. I looked up, and sure enough; there was Iris, staring over at me from the bed next to mine.
“Not now, Iris, I haven’t got time to explain everything.” I replied irritably. I knew I had to do this while my mind was still set on doing so. “I’m on a mission right now, ok?” I started to head for the door but she hopped off her bed and made to follow me.
“Ooh, sounds dangerous and exciting!” she exclaimed. “Care to have a partner-in-crime for this mission?”
Allow me to take a moment to explain a few things to you about Iris Parkinson. Number one; she is consistently annoying because she is so used to getting her own way, like, all the time. Number two; I was warned by my father not to talk to her in my first year here at Hogwarts, because supposedly her mother wanted to use me to get close to him again - or something like that. Apparently Iris’ mum and my dad used to date when they were in school, and Pansy didn’t take it very well when he broke things off with her.
It means whatever to me though, I try not to let my parent’s school drama effect my time here too much. Times were different when mum and dad were growing up because there was a war going on and all. Which brings me to what the third thing you should know about Iris it. She is my best friend here at Hogwarts, and has been ever since day one. We do everything together, and we always tell each other everything.
Oddly enough though, I hadn’t told her about my current Lysander problem yet. She knew nothing about the letter to Roxanne that I had recently discovered.
“I’m just going to the Owlery, Iris,” I said in an attempt to shrug her off. “And there’s nothing dangerous about that. not really. Well, not unless you consider the dangerous effects that owl droppings might have on ones hair, that is.”
Iris chuckled, but I could tell that she was not about to back down so easily. “You said so yourself that you were setting out on a mission, but there is nothing that exciting or mysterious about the Owlery though, so I don’t get it... Sandreiah, you’re not keeping secrets from me, now are you?”
Dammit! I should have known that it would be impossible to keep a secret this big from the queen of secrets and lies herself. Of course, Iris had never lied to me, not that I knew of at least, but the girl was fantastic at scheming, and she could pretty much lie her way out of anything. I knew this because I had seen her do it on several occasions.
“No, not exactly,” I answered her. “Everything has just been happening so fast today that I haven’t really had the time to tell you about it all just yet.”
“What do you mean? What’s happened? Is it Lysander again? He‘s not talking to that Weasley girl again, is he?” Iris excitedly started asking me more and more questions. I was aware that I was on a deadline, true, but I also knew that I would never be able to get her to stop questioning me unless I filled her in on the plan.
“Iris, would you just stop for five seconds, please? How am I supposed to explain anything to you when your rambling on and on like a lunatic, huh?” I interrupted her. Then I turned around and pulled the letter I had intercepted between Lysander and Roxanne out from underneath my pillow and handed it over to her.
“I was coming back inside from the greenhouses earlier when this first-year Ravenclaw kid ran into me,” I explained. “He hadn’t been paying a lick of attention to where he was going, because apparently Lysander had paid the kid to send this letter to Roxanne before lunchtime.”
Iris’ eyes grew bigger and bigger, and her jaw dropped further open the more she continued to read. Once she was finished with it, she looked up at me with a look of pure shock upon her face. “Oh. My. God. Sandreiah, please tell me that you are doing something about him this time, because I do not know if I will be able to keep myself quiet after reading this. This is an outrage! I mean, how could he do this to you? Lysander is a complete and total asshole, and he deserves to be punished for the crimes that he has committed against you.”
Oh yeah, that’s right, I forgot to tell you. Even though Iris may be a total gossip, and a devious liar who nobody else in the entire school would ever trust, she has always kept my secrets quiet; one-hundred-percent, just as I have kept hers. She is a very faithful, very loyal best friend, and she really is not that bad once you get to know her. The bad-girl reputation she has is really all just an act she puts on so that people will know not to mess with her. She was taken advantage of once during our first year here, and people picked on her a lot, so she vowed afterwards that she would never allow that to happen again.
But back when I had caught Lysander lying to me about his first date with Roxanne at The Three Broomsticks, I’d made the mistake of telling Iris everything. I had to practically beg her not to say anything to him about it afterwards, because she was ready to murder him for playing me like he did. She was only trying to play the role of the over-protective best friend, I know, but I still told her that I was planning to deal with it in my own way.
After an entire day of begging, and several bribes later, she finally agreed to just let things be and not get herself involved. This time, however, I wasn’t so sure that I would be able to get her to keep quiet again. She hated Lysander, and I knew that the letter I had just given her to read was only going to fuel that fire even more.
“Well I’ve already got a plan that I am working on, so don’t worry,” I tried to reassure her.
“He’s meeting her parents? Oh, and how cute; they even have little pet-names for each other now! I wonder what hers is for him,” Iris exclaimed. She made a disgusted face as she shook her long, jet black hair out of her eyes and looked up at me. “For the love of Merlin, Sandra, please tell me that this little plan of yours does involve removing parts of his manhood.” She wasn’t kidding either, she was dead serious about that. I could tell it just by looking at her.
I couldn’t help but laugh at her, however. Personally, I found Iris to be quite amusing when she got all fired up like this. “No, no, not quite. Instead I have decided to take a much more subtle approach to this little problem. I wrote little miss Roxanne a letter of my own, you see,” I handed her the letter that I had just spent the last hour pouring over and allowed her to read it. “This is the reason I’m on a mission to get to the Owlery right now.”
I had never seen Iris Parkinson look so utterly pleased with me in all our years of friendship. She looked up at me after reading my letter and was practically beaming. “Why Sandreiah Malfoy, I never knew you had this in you. You know, it is times like this when I am proud to call you my best friend. This is genius! Roxanne is totally going to flip out on him after she reads this. When are you going to send it to her?”
“Well I was planning to go down there right now so that it would be delivered with the evening owl post at dinner time tonight,” I informed her. “But I do believe the deadline is coming up here pretty soon, so I don’t know...”
“Well then, we had better hurry up and get down to the Owlery as soon as possible. Lets go!” Iris grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the door, but for some reason I was rooted to the spot. Doubt was beginning to creep its way inside my head again.
The simple fact that Iris was so pleased with my letter was proof enough that I was doing a very bed thing here. Iris wouldn’t have been so please with it unless she positively believed that the contents of my letter would wreak absolute devastation on both Roxanne and Lysander. She loved drama, Iris did, so I was suddenly concerned when she reacted the way that she did.
I know what people think of Iris. She’s crazy, and she does things without thinking. She has no filter, so you never do know what is going to come out of her mouth sometimes. Iris does what she likes, when she likes, and she says how she feels and tells everyone what she thinks of them, weather it will hurt their feelings or not. She doesn’t care about her reputation, and could honestly give a crap less what others think of her.
Because of this, the people at Hogwarts really didn’t think too highly of her. Most of them thought that she was arrogant, rude, selfish, conceited, self-absorbed, and a bully even. I know Iris though, and therefore I can personally vouch for the fact that she is literally none of those things, and nor does she mean to be. A free spirit; that was what my mother once referred to her as, and a free spirit she most certainly was too.
That being said, the whole ‘I-could-care-less-of-what-others-think-of-me’ attitude may have worked great for Iris, but it most certainly did not work for me. I treasured my reputation at school greatly. From the time I was able to talk and understand full sentences, my father had always taught me that a reputation is all a person really has. And once it is tarnished, it is not so easy to get back; especially not when you’re last name is "Malfoy".
My father had worked for years to drag our family name out of the mud once the war against Voldemort had ended. He had taught my brother and me to be respectful, and always mind how we talk to people in public. I know he’s had to work hard to make up for his father’s mistakes, but sometimes I wonder if my father is trying too hard. I’ve always known that people will think what they want to think, regardless of what try to do or say to change it. Some people are just like that.
So I could not help but wonder if sending this letter would automatically make people think of me as a terrible person. I would hate to be the one to cause people to look down on my family again after my parents had worked so hard to get people to see that the Malfoys could be good. I could hear my father yelling at me now, asking me what the hell was going through my head...
“Hello, earth to Sandreiah,” came Iris’ voice. “What the devil is going on inside that head of yours, huh?” I blinked several times, coming out of my daze, and looked over at Iris. She was standing at the door with her hands on her hips, her foot tapping as she waited impatiently for me to join her.
“I’m sorry Iris, but I don’t know if I can do this now,” I confessed, plopping myself back down onto my mattress. “It’s just like you said; Roxanne is totally going to flip when she reads this. My words could really hurt her, and she’s not even the one I’m really mad at. So, I mean, just think of what people will say when they find out that it was me who wrote this and sent it to her.”
“Sandreiah, will you just listen to yourself?” Iris said in exasperation. “You want to know what people will say? I’ll tell you what they’ll think then. People will look at you and know that you are a force to be reckoned with. No one will ever think twice about double-crossing you, and you will no longer be looked at as a pushover.”
“People here don’t really think of me as a pushover,” I said defensively. They really don’t, do they? I secretly wondered to myself.
“Dear, I never told you this because I didn’t want to upset you,” Iris said. “But yeah, the majority of them really do. I mean, you’re a Malfoy, and you’re in Slytherin. Those two things put together should automatically make you a badass. But sweetie, the second that people get to know you, they quickly realize that there is nothing intimidating about you.”
I must have missed the part where this conversation was supposed to be helpful. Apparently the look on my face must have outwardly suggested this as well, because Iris then changed her approach.
“Not that that’s a bad thing or anything like that though,” she quickly added. “I mean, you’re truly lovely just the way that you are, and I wouldn’t change you for the world, don’t get me wrong. But a lot of people haven’t messed with you because Scorpius has always been around to chase them all off. He won’t be here to protect you next year though, so you really should just embrace your inner-bitch and let Lysander and Roxanne have it. Because once people see what you are capable of, they will never question your intimidation factor ever again.”
“Iris, I really don’t understand a word you just said,” I said jokingly. “But you are right about one thing though; people do only see me as ‘Scorpius Malfoy’s little sister’ - that much I know is true. And I realize that he won’t be around to protect me next year, not that I need protecting or anything. But I’m just worried that people will take her side instead of mine because I am a Malfoy, and because I am in Slytherin. The majority of people still do not view those two things put together as acceptable around here, remember?”
“Oh geeze, tell me you’re not getting all worried about your reputation again, are you?” Iris sighed. “You’re starting to sound just like you’re father, you know that, right? What you need to understand, my friend, it that it is socially acceptable for you to stand up for yourself. And if what you wrote in that letter is how you really feel, then I think it’s about time you let people know that. Let them see the real you, instead of just this wimpy version of the quiet girl that mommy and daddy told you to be.”
That girl really knew how to push people’s buttons, that was for sure. Iris had me so ticked off in that moment that it was hard for me to tell who or what I was even mad at. I was mad at her for telling me all the horrible things that people had apparently been saying about me behind my back, and even more angry at all of those people for saying and thinking the things in the first place.
I was mad at my parents for always instructing me to be nice and try to keep the peace while I was at school. Because maybe if they had just let me speak up for myself and say what was really on my mind to people, I wouldn’t even be in this situation right now.
And finally, I was pissed off at Lysander the most. He just had to go and lie to me, and then get some other innocent girl involved in all of our drama. As of we didn’t create enough problems on our own, just between the two of us, but now there was Roxanne to deal with as well. I was even a little mad at her too, for being so ignorant.
“So what if I am worried about what people will think of me,” I said, “that’s just me, it’s what I do. I always worry, but that doesn’t mean that I necessarily care about it this time. Lysander is an arse. He has lied to me and hurt me too many times to count now, and I for one feel that it is about time the people of Hogwarts knew the real him.”
“Exactly,” Iris exclaimed. She seemed noticeably happy that her and I were on somewhat more of the same page again. “And if Roxanne Weasley should happen to get caught in the crossfire of it, well, then it’s her own damn fault for messing with a man who was so obviously not available to begin with. Don’t feel sorry for her, Sandreiah, I know that I sure wouldn’t. Lysander was your man first; you had dibs, and yet she made her move on him anyways. I for one do not believe that she is entirely all that innocent here.”
“Alright then, it’s settled,” I finally decided, rising to my feet once more. “Iris, I do believe that we have a letter to send.” I walked across the room and threw open the door. “Come on, I want to get this thing put in the mail before I can have time to change my mind again.”
Iris chuckled as she happily followed after me. We bundled up and made our way out onto the frost covered grounds. It seemed like all that Iris could talk about the entire way there was how happy she was that I was finally starting to stand up for myself. Her enthusiasm really got me questioning my behavior over the past five years though. Had I really come off as someone who people could just push around and tell what to do all the time?
I couldn’t help but wonder right then what my first five years at Hogwarts would have looked like if I hadn’t always had an older brother to look after me, and constantly scare all the bullies away. I began to wonder just how much Scorpius had done to protect me without my knowledge of it. Whatever it was he had done though, it didn’t matter anymore… Because after today, no one would ever be questioning my ability to stand up for myself ever again.
Once my letter was sent, that would be it. People would know that Sandreiah Malfoy was a person too, and she also happened to be someone who had a while lot to say. Just because I may have been more quiet while I was at school, that didn’t mean that I did not have anything to say about the things that went on. On the contrary, I had a ton of things to say, I just chose to keep them to myself.
That, however, was about to change. No more would I be the good little girl who always kept her mouth shut. To put it in the words of Iris Parkinson; it was time for me to release my inner-bitch. That was the last thing that ran through my mind as I tied the letter onto the leg of one of the school owls and then took a step back.
There. I had done it. There was officially no going back now. In a mere couple of hours, the entire school would likely know my story. And for the first time in my life, I could hardly have care less, because I knew that my story would be bringing a one; Lysander Scamander, down in shame... and that was the part I was most looking forward to.