Chapter 2 : Tuesday
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I enter the Great Hall way too early for dinner with a heavy heart; I have to accept that my life is officially over. I guess the big man upstairs decided I’ve gotten off too easy these past sixteen years and wants me to suffer. Or maybe I unleashed some horrible karma onto me all those years ago when I accidently let Hugo’s beloved bunny, Mr. Whiskers, into the wild, because I honestly cannot think of any other rational explanation for why this would happen.
“I wonder when she’s due,” a small looking Hufflepuff whispers to her friend rather loudly.
“Shh, you git! She’ll hear you,” the other replies sharply, giving her a nudge in the ribs.
Too late, I think bitterly to myself.
I growl at them, already fed up all of this. “Don’t get to close, I hear teen pregnancy is contagious.”
The small one yelps and drags her friend away from the hall at an alarming pace. I would laugh if I wasn’t in such a foul mood. Almost the entire student body of Hogwarts now thinks I’m pregnant. Every time I walk in a room, or through a hallway, I hear whispers about it. So far, I’ve heard some truly great things.
Apparently I am:
Already eight months pregnant, and I’ve just been using spells (which don’t exist, mind you) to hide the bump.
Having quadruplets, and I’m going to name them all Rodney. Rodney?
Unsure of who the father is, having 7.5 possible candidates. Do I even want to know how one of them is considered a half?
Leaving Hogwarts to raise said quadruplets in a traveling muggle circus, doing magic acts to support my many babies.
Oh, and my personal favorite-
Actually Moze, Rose’s evil twin sister that nobody knows about, come to impersonate Rose and get preggers in an attempt to ruin her image.
I must say, these Hogwarts kids have a true talent for being redonkulous.
As stressful as hearing all these things are, I’m just relieved it doesn’t seem to have spread to my family yet. If they heard, well let’s just say-
“ROSE MOTHER-TRUCKING WEASLEY, DON’T YOU DARE MOVE AN INCH!”
Oh, looks like I spoke too soon.
James is practically charging at me, resembling a bull more than a teenage boy; nostrils flaring and all.
If only I had a red cape thing to swing around…
Panicking, I say hysterically, “Eh, sorry, I’ve got some socks that need folding!”
I turn on my heels, ready to dash out of the Hall, but I end up face to faces with a menacing pair; Albus and Fred. “Not so fast,” they say in perfect unison, making it all the more intimidating.
“Neat-o trick guys, the whole talking together thing, you’ll have to teach me how to do that some time! But sadly, those socks I mentioned really need my attention. Bye!” I spin back around once more; figuring getting past one boy will be easier than two will.
However, James is no longer alone. Louis and Hugo are at his flanks.
This is just peachy.
All five boys zero in on me, blocking all possible escape routes. I let out a deep sigh, accepting my fate. The least I can say is thank Merlin it’s rather empty in here, because this won’t be pretty.
"Hello boys?” I say nervously, making it sound like a question.
“How could you Rosie? How are you going to play Quidditch with a balloon belly?” Louis
“My own sister? I’m going to be an uncle before I even finish puberty, that isn’t normal!” -Hugo
“Red, when did you become such a slag?”- James
“You must be Moze. Tell us where Rose is, you MONSTER!” –Fred
“You just had to procreate with my best mate? Or, are you a slag and a cheater, and one of the other 6.5 men is the father? –Albus
All of them speak at the same time, but I’m able to make out the gist of what they said. I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry. It hurts to have them think that about me, but leave it to Fred to believe that I’m actually an evil twin.
“Guys, would you please be reasonable?”
“Be reasonable?” James says, eyes bulging out of his slightly large head. “My baby cousin is knocked up and there is nothing reasonable about it!”
I roll my eyes. Even in a crisis, I keep my ‘tude. “That’s the thing though, if you’d just let me explain-”
“There’s nothing to explain! You can’t talk your way out of this one Moze, we know your evil plan,” Fred says, his eyes in slits.
I actually do laugh now, “Seriously Fred, you can’t think that’s tru-”
This time, it’s Louis speaking. “You’re laughing Rose? This isn’t a laughing matter. You’re ruining your life.”
I try to defend myself, but get interrupted once more by Hugo. He mentions something about puberty again, but I don’t really pay attention because his high pitched, adolescent voice annoys me.
Then it’s time for Rose Defense round 3.
“I promise that-“
Albus yells over my voice, effectively ending round three, going on and on about how my word doesn’t mean much anymore.
This is getting ridiculous.
“Enough guys, I-”
“You didn’t try hard enough to keep those legs of yours closed, because if you did then we wouldn’t be having this conver-“
Alright, these git-for-brains have officially crossed the line. Now it’s my turn to interrupt.
“OH FOR MELIN’S FLIPPEN’ SAKE, I’M NOT PREGNANT!” I scream.
This causes many heads to turn my direction. All the incoming diners must have escaped my notice.
Well, as long as I’ve got everyone’s attention…
“There is positively no BUN in this oven! I am not, I repeat, I am NOT with child.”
I then decide to jump on the table. Partially because the sound will travel better, but also because I think it looks wicked cool.
“Hell, I’ll even say it in Spanish,” I say loudly, gesturing towards my stomach. “NO TENGO UN BEBE.”
I expect a sudden surge of understanding to sweep the masses, for them to finally see I’m not a baby mama. Instead, it actually seems to convince them of the opposite. Several girls shake their head in pity, thinking I’m just in denial. One of them at the table I’m standing on even whispers poor thing.
I practically scream in frustration. I mean, you don’t pity Rose Weasley, Rose Weasley pities you!
"Rose, you really should come down, that can't be good for the baby!" Hugo says with a tone of real concern.
I smack my hand to my forhead; this honestly cannot be happening. My brother is such an idiot.
“I give up, you all are impossible, I’m out of here,” I say angrily, while still managing to gracefully hop back down to the floor, but not before grabbing a chicken leg off the table.
All this yelling has worked up my appetite
I keep it classy by walking with dignity out of the Great Hall, taking my time to strut past my obnoxious relatives who have been stunned to silence. When I do finally get out of there I break into a sort of jog, the faster I get to my bed, the better.
I surprise myself with how speedy I can be, and make it to my dorm in record time. Seeing my good old four-poster is instantly calming. The familiar red and gold put a smile on my face, but it’s Teddy sitting on my bed that really cheers me up.
No, not that Teddy; contrary to popular belief, I am no slag. I’m actually referring to my beloved bear that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I justified naming him Teddy because it is a teddy bear after all, but it was really because I had the hugest crush on Teddy Lupin for most of my youth. When he found out, I was absolutely mortified. However, it was quite a while after the fact, so I couldn’t just change his name, it would confuse him!
I pick Teddy up and snuggle him close as I plop into my bed.
“You know I’m not a pregnant slag, right Ted?” I ask him, not caring that it isn’t entirely normal for a seventeen year old to talk to a toy.
I shake him up and down to make it seem like he’s nodding in agreement. “Of course I do, Rosie! You’re a young, beautiful, and respectable young lady, don’t let those mean prats tell you otherwise!” I say, using the deep voice I always use for Teddy.
I imagine that if bears could talk my impersonation would be spot on.
I smile, and then slowly start to laugh. If anyone saw me right now, they’d probably think I’d gone loopy, but sometimes you just have to laugh. It has a magical way of making thing seem better.
I slowly drift to sleep as I lay there on my bed. It’s unbelievably comfy, making staying awake difficult, even if it is barely past dinner time.
The second I fall asleep, I start to have an odd dream.
It starts of normal enough, with me on my broom during a quidditch game. But as the game goes on, I realize that my broom isn’t a broom after all, it’s a giant noodle. Once I notice this, I begin to fall out of the sky, because everyone knows noodles can’t fly. I scream and scream for someone to catch me, but everyone on the pitch and in the stands just stares at me with a confused look as if I’m speaking Mermish rather than english. I close my eyes, bracing myself for the ground, but instead of hitting hard earth I feel a bed.
Surrounding me are what appears to be nurses and healers, but there’s something off about each of them; some have eyes that are too big for their face, others have a purple nose or an extra arm.
“Look, the new mother is awake! We were staring to get worried,” a nurse with big green ears says.
“Wait, what?” I look at her in shock, “You must be mistaken, I'm only 17, I’m no mother!”
The healer with 3 arms just shakes his head and smiles, “Oh don’t be silly, here you go!”
He tosses my baby like it’s a quaffle and I barely register what’s happening in time to catch the thing. I look at my supposed baby to see that it’s actually a giant gummy bear.
“Um, sorry Healer, but this is not a baby, it’s a sugary treat.” I say, as if giving someone a gummy bear instead of a child is a reasonable mistake.
“Oh my, it appears you’re right young lady!” He laughs, as if it’s the funniest thing in the world. “I just misread the chart, this is actually my lunch,” he says, taking a bite out of the gummy bear for emphasis. “Your babies will be here in a jiffy!”
“Babies? As in more than one?”
The nurse with the big ears smiles, “Of course honey, don’t you remember? You had quadruplets! You wanted all the birth certificates to say Keith right? Personally, I think Rodney is a better choice, but that’s just me…”
“NOOOOOO! THIS CAN'T BE REAL. I DON’T HAVE FOUR BABIES NAMED KEITH OR RODNEY. YOU LIARS!” I scream, jumping out of the bed.
I then proceed to steal the gummy bear baby and book it down the hallway. Security wizards chase after me, but I’m not sure if they catch me because it’s then that I’m woken up by a rather loud pecking noise. I sit up in bed, looking around to find the source of the noise. I notice that none of my dorm mates are back, so I couldn’t have been asleep that long.
The pecking noise happens again, louder this time. The sound seems to becoming from the window, and surely enough, when I look I see a big grey owl trying to murder my windows.
I jog on over to the window and let the bird in before it breaks the glass. When I do, it sticks out its leg and waits for me to grab the letter. The letter has my name on the top in neat script; I would know that handwriting anywhere.
Meet me in the Room of Requirement at midnight. We need to talk.
Oh sweet Merlin, everyone that has ever lived knows that ‘we need to talk’ is never a good thing. Never ever.
I scribble a quick response and while still clutching the letter, I dejectedly fall back into bed.
This week just keeps getting more awesome by the minute.
A/N: Sorry it took awhile, but I hope you guys liked this chapter. It was so fun to write, I've never wrote something this crazy before. Please leave me a review to tell me what you think!
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