It had been a month. And still people were talking about James, Fred and Molly’s prank in the common room. Word had spread around, and the three of them were being praised like heroes for thinking of an ‘ingenious’ spell. It wasn’t ingenious though, I just found it cruel and I was sure other people would too, if they became victim of it... tossers.
So, a week after the dreaded-incident-that-shall-not-be-spoken-of Rose decided she had got over her embarrassment and started talking to me again. Al, as usual, just found the whole thing funny and didn’t say anything against his big brother except “I wish they didn’t do it to you... but I’m so pissed I was there, it sounded fucking hilarious when that blonde, Thames Thomas told me!” the twat idolised James. Don’t know why I expected him to be angry, or defend me or whatever.
But hopefully today, May First, I was going to get the three of them back. I had spent ages planning my individual pranks, specially designed for each of my three victims.
Right, 2am: I had woken up for Operation James. I crept upstairs one floor, but not too conspicuously in case someone came downstairs for a midnight snack. I held my wand tightly and pushed open the door to his dormitory. It creaked, deafening in the silence and I closed my eyes, willing to anyone up there that he or any of his roommates didn’t hear. I opened one of my eyes and saw him, still and quiet.
I tiptoed over to his bed and pointed my wand at him, whispering “Pixi-inclino!” The spell did just what I’d wanted it to do. I’m sure he’d love the attention at breakfast tomorrow.
I stifled a (very manly) giggle and ran back to my dormitory, thinking about the other two pranks I had to perform in the next six hours. I couldn’t do Fred’s while he was asleep, it would wake him up... I’d have to wait until later.
Ok, 6am in the Gryffindor common room. Operation Fred was a go.
I was sitting in an alcove of the common room behind some curtains. I probably looked ridiculous but I didn’t care. Everyone thought I was a freak anyway so it didn’t really make any difference. Fred walked down from his dormitory scratching his head. He bent down and started doing his morning stretches. The guy would come downstairs before everybody else every morning and do these aerobic-style exercises. I knew because I had caught him at it when I had fallen asleep last year before doing some OWL revision... I was so disturbed I’d had to take a forty minute shower just to get the image of him (almost) doing the splits out of my head.
I shuddered and focused on Fred. He had turned around from the alcove where I was crouched, so now there was absolutely no chance of him noticing me. I quickly pointed my wand at Fred and said the spell that I had practised inside my head. ‘Electro-fama!’ A bright blue light shot out of my wand and I quickly crouched back down. I knew I had hit Fred, as I heard a slight ‘oof’.
There was a pause before Fred quietly said “Hello?” I held my breath and waited. ‘Please don’t let him find me, please don’t let him find me,’ I chanted in my head. If he caught me, I’d be dead meat for sure. But thankfully after ten seconds Fred muttered “Stupid Peeves,” and walked out of the portrait hole, down to the run around the black lake a few times no doubt. Let’s just hope he doesn’t talk to anyone on the way...
Now, 7am: I had stayed in the Gryffindor common room since Fred’s prank, entirely ready to fulfil Molly’s. I only had to wait until she came downstairs for breakfast.
That book that I was thinking of reading about a month ago, the Herbology Encyclopaedia of Toadstools was still on the table and I picked it up and ran back to the armchair I was sitting in. I started reading it. It was actually quite interesting, although it didn’t even compare to Professor Longbottom’s lessons. I loved them and especially remembered the one where we were potting mandrakes. While we were doing it, he was telling us a story of the war, when he was chucking Mandrakes at Death Eaters and one had hit my granddad in the face, sending him screaming. I hated my granddad, my Dad’s dad. He was just too formal for my liking. I liked people that laughed and smiled more often than he did. Dad’s mum was alright though. Anyway, that story had kept me laughing for about a month afterwards.
I was pulled out of my daydream by somebody shuffling in front of me. Molly Weasley was there, rubbing her eyes and looking around the common room for something. I hadn’t expected her to be up this early! I wanted more people to be there, so she didn’t suspect that it was me who had pranked her! Nevertheless, this might be my only chance to do it, and I whispered, pointing my wand at her behind my book “Nimis-confingo!”
She seemed not to have noticed the spell hit her, and carried on over to a table in the corner, collecting some papers. She must have been revising for her nearby NEWTs last night. Well, that’s a first. Molly? Revise? Never...
When she turned around, it seemed to be the first time she noticed me. She sneered at me and stalked back upstairs, pulling her shorts out of her bum as she went... nice...
Nine o’ clock on a Tuesday. Lessons would start in half an hour. I was sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, playing exploding snap with Al and Rose after a nice breakfast.
The first of my prank victims to come in for breakfast was James, apparently still unaware that he was sporting hair that wasn’t the same as yesterday. He sloped over to sit in the middle of the table (where he gets the most attention) next to Francis Macmillan who squealed and clapped his hands together
“James!” He said excitedly.
“Yeah?” James replied groggily, clearly having just woke up.
James spooned some cereal in to his mouth while Francis said “I’m so glad you’ve come out of the closet, I KNEW you were gay too!”
James choked and spat out some milk, shouting “What?! What gave you that idea?!”
“Your hair...” Francis said confusedly, obviously disappointed that James didn’t swing his way.
James’ eyes widened. He grabbed his wand, transfigured it in to a mirror and looked in to it, finally seeing what what I’d done to him. He was running his hands over hair that wasn’t black but resembled the contents of a skittle packet. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple stripes, starting from his parting ran all the way to the ends of his hair. Francis was right to think it looked like the gay pride flag.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!!” He screeched, making everyone in the whole school look his way. James chucked the mirror away from him in fear, as if that would reverse the spell. “HOW DO I GET RID OF IT?!!!” He screamed at the Ravenclaws.
A small second year Ravenclaw got up and performed the anti-colour change spell. I smirked to myself. I made sure that wouldn’t work. I made sure that I would be the only one able to reverse it.
Suddenly there was another scream, this time coming from the doors of the Great Hall. Fred Weasley was running through the middle of the tables, shouting “Don’t talk to me! DON’T TALK TO ME!! ARGHHH!!” He leapt up in pain because of the prank.
I stifled my laughter and instead said “Oh God, what’s happening?” Yes, as well as the master of cool (no, it’s not debatable) I was also the master of disguise. Heh heh. I knew what was happening. Every time Fred talked to anybody he got a good old muggle electric shock.
“Your hair! OW!!” Fred pointed at James.
“I know!! Why are you jumping?!” James shrieked back at him.
“I DON’T KNOW! ARGH! I THI- shit, Molly!! What’s wrong with your face?!”
Molly had just walked in through the Great Hall, strongly resembling a tangerine who had got paint balled in the face (I went paint-balling for Albus’ muggle themed birthday party last year – James broke my nose. Not fun).
“Have I still not got enough on?!” Molly asked the Great Hall at large. Everyone stayed silent. I resisted the urge to say ‘I think so!” and watched her pile more and more of her streaky orange foundation, put more mascara and that pencil thing which I can’t remember the name of on her eyes, making her look considerably more like a drag queen. I was surprised she could see. I had made it so that she would always think that she had too little on, a mind-trick-curse that I had found in a relatively modern spell book. It worked well and she looked ridiculous which is just what I’d hoped for.
Everyone started laughing hysterically at all three of the seventh years, who were looking at each other shocked and humiliated. After keeping my eye on them, I noticed Fred slowly but surely raise his hand and point at our table. “Malfoy!” He bellowed.
He jumped about a foot in the air again, but this time kept on screaming and jumping. Something was wrong; the shocks were only supposed to last a second. A flash of orange alerted everyone to the fact that Fred was on fire, and everyone smart enough to act yelled “Augamenti!” The fire went out, but not before Fred collapsed from the pain and knocked his head against the Hufflepuff table.
Everyone started screeching... Flitwick tottered over, trying to calm everyone down... At the time I was thinking ‘Why did I do this? It’s going too far... why’s everything going black? Err... I feel kinda shit...’ They told me later that I’d fainted from a mixture of exhaustion and fear. Damn it.
Someone was shaking me awake. I had been in the hospital wing for about twelve hours. I had missed lessons and it was definitely past the sixth year curfew of nine thirty.
“Scorpius?” Someone hissed. I knew that voice was familiar.
“Hey Rose.” I whispered in to the darkness.
“Lumos,” Rose muttered so I could see her face. She didn’t look happy. She just stared at me.
“What?” I asked as if I hadn’t done a thing.
“Everyone’s saying you did it. Did you do it?”
I stayed silent. I couldn’t lie to her. Anyone but her. ‘How stupid are you?!’ I hear you cry. Shut up.
Her face twisted, making her beautiful face almost unrecognisable.
“I said for you to stand up for yourself. Not do anything like this.” She said in a low, angry voice.
“No!” She growled, quiet enough that the nurse wouldn’t hear.
I did it without thinking. She was about to turn away and I pulled her face towards mine, crushing her lips and trying to make her see that I loved her. But instead she wrenched herself away from me and I got punched in the face so hard it made my eyes water.
“Fred’s in St. Mungo’s and they don’t know whether they’ll ever get his brain back to normal. All thanks to you. Don’t you dare touch me, Malfoy.” I heard her voice crack at the use of my surname and she flounced out of the door to the Hospital Wing. I had a feeling that I had effectively ruined my relationship with her and, when she got word round to them, the rest of the Potter’s and Weasleys too. And they’d expel me from school for sure, if she told. I wouldn’t put it past her... she loved her family so much. I groaned and tried to get back to sleep, failing miserably.
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