Chapter 11 : The Notebook Story
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The Notebook Story
We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time
For The First Time, Script
"Al!" I hiss at him. "You scared me to death!"
I take a deep, sharp breath in, holding onto my skipping heart.
"And yet, you're still yelling at me." He smirks.
I breath out, relief slowly setting in.
Al sits opposite me at the small table in the corner, the fire lighting his face in a soft shade. But that doesn't fool me. I glare at him with passion.
"Dora, that's Drake's notebook, if I remember correctly." He raises his bushy eyebrow at me, scanning me with those green eyes.
"So?" I play it cool.
He'll totally buy it. I can see it already.
"Oh, so you didn't know that? I'm so deeply, utterly sorry, dear favourite cousin of mine! Please, for the love of Merlin, forgive me or I shall die of guilt!"
I supress a giggle.
"So... What are you doing with it?"
"I just... It was laying there... I just... It's non of your business!" I finish with a shriek.
So much for playing it cool.
Al laughs. But something in his smile is broken. Al could never hide anything from me. He most definitively can't hide that something's wrong. I gaze at him, worried.
"Al, are you ok? I know I haven't been the best cousin out there, but you should know that you can trust me. No, you should trust me."
"Where's Chill to stop me now?" He smiles.
I return the favour.
But then get down to business. "Is something wrong? You've been absent minded lately. Or just absent. I don't like it."
He sighs. Al's struggling with something, it's apparent. Maybe it's Faldo's secrets weighting him down. Maybe he needs to confide in someone. And who's better for that than me? Honestly.
Al finally looks up at me. "Have you ever had to choose between your dream and your family?"
I blink. Well this is certainly not what I was expecting to hear. "Not that I know of. What's going on?"
He gives me another sigh and enough time for him to compose.
"Remember how I went to Spain to compete in the Fine arts of potion making last semester?"
I nod. It was hard not having Al around those two weeks. It was up to Scorp to stop any murders from happening (Mine or/and Faldo's.) and he didn't really do a good job. Actually, he was crapish at it. But besides that, I missed Al like crazy. After all, he is my favourite cousin. Oh, shut up.
"Well, the Headmaster there was so impressed with me that..." He continues slowly, choosing words carefully. "He offered me to finish my last year there. And to have advanced potion studied afterwards."
Did a Bludger just hit me in the head?
"You're... Um... You're moving to Spain?" I force myself to utter.
Al nods his head bashfully.
"Oh, Havens. This is big." I rub my forehead forcefully.
"I spoke to mum and dad and they're fine with it.They told me to follow my dream. But Lily and James still don't know. Nor do Drake or Scorp. Or anyone else, for that matter."
I glance at the black notebook. This will kill Faldo. I wonder how he still didn't go mad with thoughts like those.
"You don't have to say anything, Dora. I understand." He pats my shoulder and I shiver.
Who knows how often will this happen when he moves away this summer? When will we get the chance to talk to each other and just... hang out? I can't even think about it. I love having Al around. I just can't imagine not.
"I'm sorry I avoided you guys these days. It was really hard looking you in the eyes when I still wasn't sure how to tell you."
"Oh, Al." I hug him tightly.
The considerate bastard.
I sniff into his shirt.
"I'm not leaving just yet, Dora." He laughs.
"You arse." I mutter.
I know he's smiling. But I also know this is really hard for him. I can feel it, even in his touch.
"You need to tell everyone." I assure him. "Then you won't feel the need to avoid them anymore."
"I know. It's just... I don't want to hurt them."
I grin. "You're too good sometimes. It makes me sick."
"Oh, shut up." He hits me in the arm playfully.
We hug again. This time we stay like that for a while. I bury my head into his warm shirt. I want to remember this. I don't want him to go away. But it's his dream. I can't take that from him. Nor should anyone else.
Yes, Faldo. Dreams are real.
I should really talk to that boy.
* * *
Why am I nervous? I shouldn't be nervous. Not considering my past record. It's just a Halloween party, for Havens' sakes. It's stupid.
I take a look at myself in the mirror. Nothing unusual. Nothing extraordinary. Just the way I look every day. That's why it's perfect.
Lee storms into the bathroom in her white gown, which reminds me too much of a wedding dress. But I let it slip. It's great having her go, too. I don't want to ruin it with my inappropriate remarks. Even though just about thousands of them are boiling up inside of my head. Right to the surface. I purse my lips tightly so nothing bursts out.
"Come on, Dora! They're waiting for us!"
She drags me out. We're the last ones to leave the room. Ophelia sneaked out, wearing a fairy robe and Marilyn took a camera and her friend to a quest for saucy scandals and trashy news. She didn't even bother to wear a costume. Well, that's the only thing I'm ever going to give her credit for.
Waiting in the common room are a nervous Albus (I'm still the only one who knows why he's like that.), a super-pumped Scorpius (He's planing to finally put the Soulmate project to 'good use' this evening. I would not take that term as what it's usually supposed to mean. Seriously, this is Scorpius we're talking about.), an enthusiastic Roxy (I know she's wearing her Diana Evans, as in her favourite Quidditch lady, costume. But seriously, fire it down a little. Jeez.) and a chilled Faldo. Well, at least he hasn't dissapointed.
"And what exactly are you two supposed to be?" Roxy points to my glorious self and a dapper Faldo (Again, nothing outside of his comfort zone.).
"A witch and a wizard, of course." We grin in response, flashing out our school robes.
"So original." Scorpius snorts.
"Shut up, Firenze." I roll my eyes at his ridiculous costume.
"I'm sorry, but this is an Unicorn costume." He interjects, offended.
"Oh, and that makes it better how?" Faldo quirks an eyebrow at him.
We snicker in unison.
"This is really scary." Lee notes, shuddering at us.
"They really shouldn't be allowed to hang out so much." Roxy agrees.
"We don't hang out that much." I correct the statement.
"Please, yesterday you spent all day long in the common room writing homework. Just loons like the two of you can do that." Roxy shakes her head, frustrated.
"Guys, let's not fight and move already. Or we'll be late." Al breaks the argument.
Considerate, Spain-loving freak. I hate him. Even though he looks positively funny in his potion bottle shaped costume. Giggle. No, bad Dora! Must stay mad at Spain-loving cousin!
Oh, what the heck. I adore the guy.
* * *
The Great Hall is breath taking, it's shiny colors lashing out in front of our amazed eyes. Pumpkin pies levitating near the ceiling and the dominant orange make me hungry, though. It is my favourite sweet, after all. The space is crowded with people in various costumes. Some original and some just laugh-worthy. I count Faldo and myself as the few ones to have succeeded in being brilliant at the costume-choosing art.
Our table is near the dance floor and a little further away from the stage. Just the perfect spot. In front of us, Charmed Witches are performing their biggest hit, 'Accio Heart'.
Roxy disappears before I even notice and Al and Charlie decide to share a dance. After I stated that their fling was just my imagination going wild, I let them hang out more. I'm the worst, I know.
That leaves... Faldo alone with me. I steal a quick glance at him when he's not looking. Again, he seems so... dismal. Or is it just me?
He turns around, leaving the atmosphere before us to unfold in it's natural, cheesy ways.
"What's wrong with you?"
Faldo first gives me a sideways look, until he breaks into a loud laughter.
"I'm annoying and cold, remember?"
"Right... No, I mean... Why are you like that? Something must've happened to you."
I won't let myself get fooled. I know he's trying to get out of this.
He frowns and immediately looks away from my face, staring again at the dancing pairs.
"Come on. You're lying. And you suck at it."
He sighs. "Blue..."
I grab his hand desperately and he glances at me, startled by my sudden action. I don't blame him. I'm pretty much acting on impulse here.
"You can trust me, Faldo. Just like I did with you. Remember?"
He gazes at me. I hope he knows I'm not being nosy here. I just... I just wanna help. No matter how crazy that sounds. Even to me.
Slowly, his hesitation melts away, replaced by the desire to share whatever it is that's bothering him with me.
I look up to see Louis in a centaur costume smiling at me. I know I mocked Scorpius about that earlier. But Louis just looks adorable. And kind of hot, too. I blush slightly.
"Care to share a dance with me?"
I turn to Faldo. He smiles at me, nodding his head. It's like he's telling me-go for it. This is your chance.
I get up with a shiver, not entirely sure if this is the right thing to do. But then I remind myself-this is Louis. Louis freakin' Weasley. And I waited for this moment to come forever now. I practically jump up from my seat, offering my hand to him. Louis accepts it with a warm smile.
I look back at Faldo, who's still got that smile on his lips. But it's not the happy-go-lucky smile I've seen him display sometimes when I make a fool out of myself (Ok, it's more than just sometimes. So sue me.). Instead, it has that faint brush of anguish in it.
"We'll talk later. Ok?" I whisper to him.
He just nods lightly and I let Louis guide me to the dance floor, not turning around anymore. I'm afraid if I see the look in Faldo's eyes again, I'll just straight out run to him.
Louis and I settle in front of the stage. I put my hands around his neck nervously. He gives me a small smile before wrapping his arms around my waist. His palms are warm but they make me shudder a little. I gaze at him. A gaze that contains all of my hope. My dreams about him and this moment.
But something in his look is suddenly different. It feels different. It doesn't make me blush like before. It doesn't make me go into a daydream sequence overdrive. It doesn't move me.
I frown sligtly, confused by my own strange apathy.
That's when the song 'Say Yes' is interrupted. The whole Hall looks toward the podium. I gasp as I realize that Scorpius is taking the microphone from the lead singer. Oh, boy. It's beginning. The Soulmate disaster.
"Hi, everyone. I'm sorry I interrupted the song. But I wanted to do this for so long, you'll just have to bare with me."
He smiles broadly and then goes to sit on the piano stool. I search through the crowd and finally spot Rose Weasley standing with her little brother and curiously watching the whole scene.
Well, of he goes. Straight into his own doom.
The first tunes start and the band, recognizing the song, follows Scoprius' lead. He bends down, his lips almost touching the microphone. Which some nearby girls apparently find attractive or something, as they are giggling loudly.
"This is for you, Rose Weasley." He breaths into the microphone.
Everyone turns to her. A chord of whispering is heard. But Rose doesn't seem to notice. Or mind, at least. Instead, she focuses on Scorpius and his surprisingly melodic voice. Rose still blinks a few times, confused.
The song fills the Hall tenderly, every corner of it, leaving not one soul indifferent. Girls are mostly swooning. And boys are making disgusted faces. I'm sure that underneath it all, they're a little envious, too. I know Rose Weasley isn't prom queen material (Not like most of these children know what one even is.). But not a small number of those guys once wished to steal her heart away. Being famous without even doing anything fame worthy had it's advantages. I know Rose isn't the one to take them. But others yearned to do so. Desperate-fame-searching-money-loving-man-whores. But Scorpius isn't like that. Scorpius learned to play a song for her. And he was a total music virgin a month ago. I mean, this is so over the top cheesy. But sometimes I gotta admit, the boy's got nerve.
The song isn't over yet. But Rose Weasley ignores this fact. She suddenly runs to the stage wildly and tackles Scopius to the ground. The Hall goes dead silent for a moment. Rose takes this opportunity to senselessly kiss him. And everyone starts to clap and the silence dies out.
I stare at the scene open mouthed.
"Wow, that was..."
"Really sweet." Louis finishes instead of me.
Well, I was going for pathetic, but ok. I glance at Faldo who's rolling his eyes at the hormone-driven pair which makes me chuckle.
Even with Scorpius and Rose still snogging each other faces off on the floor, the band returns to it's tunes. The next one is 'Magic Works' by the Weird Sisters. Louis swings me around. I look at his smiling face and something inside of me shifts. I glance at Faldo again. But this time, he's not alone. Ophelia is blushing beside him, whispering into his ear. Something kicks hard in my stomach. I put my palm over it.
"Are you all right?" Louis asks, worry written over his soft features.
I just smile in response. Thankfully, he drops the issue.
In the meantime, Faldo and Ophelia stroll to the dance floor, too. I gaze at them, as they begin a slow dance.
"Dora, do you want to sit?"
"Hm?" I look back to Louis.
"You seem distracted." He explains.
"No... Just... Excited."
Lame. I know. But Louis doesn't notice. He nods and pulls me even closer. I should be screaming from joy. I should be crying happy tears. But I'm not. At all.
I turn to face the pair again, swinging softly. Ophelia smiles tenderly and rests her pretty head on Faldo's chest. And all of a sudden he seems more tall, more elegant, more funny (She's laughing, too.), more... different than ever. Like I'm seeing him for the first time in my life. Even though I've know him since I was almost twelve. A fact he likes to point out. That I'm just a few months younger then him, but still so much more immature. All of that doesn't seem offensive any more.
And in that moment, which drags out like something's pulling it's ends in opposite directions, when I catch Louis staring at me like he sees me for the first time... That's the moment I receive my first kiss.
* * *
"Oh my wizard God!" Lee giggles scanning the front page of Marilyin's paper (No use in trying to credit anyone else for it, anymore.).
"Apparently, all eventually fall down." Roxy slides off the bench and lies into the first snow to grace Hogwarts' grounds this year.
It doesn't surprise us that it's this soon after such a warm October. The weather has gone crazy decades ago.
I follow her lead guided with the strong desire to melt into the cold white supstance and disappear.
"You actually kissed Louis." Charlie beams from above us. "That is so boss!"
If it wasn't for her brilliant spell to shield us from the snow furiously falling down, I'd slap her.
Ok, maybe not.
Still, her enthusiasm is beginning to unnerve me. Which is weird. I should be beaming up there, just alongside her. I should be making happy snow angels. Instead, I'm wondering if the cold can kill me. Right here, right now. So I don't have to face my boyfriend.
Yeah, he kind of called himself that.
"Please, Lee. Tone it down. Besides, I didn't kiss him. He kissed me."
"Even better!" She shierks. "He is so into your sassy arse."
I raise my eyebrow. Ok.
"I'm so going to get you married on a beautiful romantic island. Maybe in Greece. Oh the possibilities..." She sighs happily.
I glance at Roxy, completely terrified.
"Payback. What a bitch, ay?" She laughs.
I frown. Life is sometimes too ironic for my taste.
I get up suddenly, the Louis talk not sitting right with me.
"Listen, Lee. You're not goint to marry us."
"Oh, my Merlin!" She gasps. "You're not seriously making Roxy your made of honnor!"
"Should I be offended? 'Cause I'm totally not." Roxy adds in lazily with a big yawn.
I roll my eyes. "Break the spell, Lee."
"Come on, she doesn't even like weddings!" Lee whines.
"Lee." I warn her.
She sighs and mutters the counter spell. I turn around and start stalking away.
"Think it over, Dora!" Charlie shouts after me. " You'd look amazing in white with a Hawaii wind in your curls!"
I speed up to the castle. You can never get away from a wedding-talk obsessed Charlie Wood fast enough.
I end up in my room, exhausted and just desperate for some sleep. I need some time alone. I don't know what's going on with me exactly. Just need the rest. Really bad. I curl into my sheets, the blue color suiting me. Clutching to my pillow, I slowly breath in. I can't think now. Just wanna sleep...
"Isn't this a little ridiculous?" I chime, gigling madly like a child.
"Then why are you excited?"
If I could see his face, I'm sure he'd be wearing a highly self assured smirk. But I can't see anything. His palm feels warm over my eyes, though, and suddenly I'm not sure if I need to.
"Where are we going? I hate surprises." I tell him, even though I have a strong feeling he already knows this.
"Trust me, this one will be an exception."
I giggle some more. He puts his other hand on my waist and it sends warm shivers across my body. I jump up sligtly but he steadies me. As if he knows me so well. And then, his steps crumble and I follow his actions.
"We're here." He leans in and mutters into my ear, his voice sending all kinds of tingles down my spine.
The palm goes down and I slowly open my eyes. A loud gasp escapes my mouth. But it is instantly smacked with his smooth lips. For a second, I'm too sursprised to react. As if my body and my mind can't even comprehend this new feeling. Then, suddenly, I give in and wrap my arms around his neck. He presses me closer to him and our bodies embrace. I pull my hand through his thick locks. Then I stop only to get lost in his shimmery blue eyes. Those eyes... So familiar and warm, yet so new and distant. As if they are calling for me to find out more. There is more. So much more. I can feel it.
"You like it?" He whispers, his lips pressed to my cheek.
A small moan escapes me but I don't even care.
"I love it." I whisper back and we kiss again passionately.
I jump up from my bed, covered in cold sweat. My heart is pounding and I feel dizzy. I pull a hand through my hair only to find that it's soaking wet. And my body strangely warm. I look around, breathing heavily. No one's there. Thank Heavens!
I climb out slowly making my way to the bathroom. The light goes on and I stare at my pale reflexion. Those blue eyes are staring back at me. I turn around quickly. They remind me too much of...
What is happening to me? And why is the boy from my dreams suddenly sounding less like Louis and more like...
I choke on the thought and run outside, only one place visualizing in my mind.
* * *
I stare at the snowflakes slowly making their way to the distant ground. The fuzzy air is making me sleepy. But I need to stay awake. And think for a change. It doesn't help that the frisky air reminds me of a certain someone.
Why does he have to pop into my head at the most inappropriate of times? No, correction. Why does he have to pop into my mind at all? When just yesterday I've been kissed by my crush of two years. It doesn't make any sense. He's... he's my friend. And Louis... Louis is supposed to be perfect for me. Just the way I hoped he'd be.
But maybe what I wanted... Is not exactly good for me...
Or maybe I'm just so damn sleepy, I don't even know what I'm thinking!
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
I jump up, loosing my balance for a moment. I turn around to be sucked in by those blue eyes. Why is blue everywhere? People should not be allowed to have such piercing, light eyes. Not even Faldo.
Especially not Faldo.
"Did I scare you?"
I glance up at him again. But just briefly. Suddenly it's like it hurts to look at him. Why am I feeling so... guilty?
I shake my head in response. So he decides to take his place opposite me. A strong sense of deja vu hits me. Only, this time, it's completely different.
"I figured you'd hide here."
I snap. "What do you mean hide?!"
"I'm sorry, Blue." He frowns. "Didn't mean anything bad. Just... After yesterday, I thought you'd want some time alone."
I look up at him startled.
I hate him. I hate him for knowing me so well. I hate him for not letting me know him like that. I don't even know why I care, honestly. He's such an know-it-all idiot.
I glare at him. But it turns into a genuine look against my will. I can't be angry at him. Even if he doesn't trust me like real friends do. But maybe...
He smiles slightly at my curious expression, obviously reading my mind.
"I wanted to tell you."
The silence falls over the Owlery. Not a single hoot is heard. Just the snowy wind blowing outside. Why is it suddenly so cold?
I tense up. So this is it? I thought it'd be more frightful. Not that I assumed he's hiding a secret mad scinece lab in the Room. Nope, not at all.
"Then do." I encourage him to step forward.
He takes one shaky breath in. Am I torturing him? Good. He's doing the same to me, making me feel guilty for kissing Louis. That's not human at all! Just outright mean!
I focus on his expression. He seems... empy. As if no emotion has ever crossed his face. But that's just the first impression. I can sense something deeper wanting to break through. Of course, he doesn't let it show.
"I used to think I had the perfect life." Faldo begins, his voice trembling just slightly.
Still, it surprises me. He's always so stren and collected. I didn't call him a robot for no reason.
"Asside from being an only child, that is. But I learned to live with it, through my friends."
I stare at him, excited. I mean, this is it. I'll finally find out why he's always sneaking around, with all of those books. Why he quit Quidditch and refused to be a Prefect. And just maybe why he acts like a jerk sometimes.
... Oh my Heavens, this is huge!
I feel a sudden urge to bite my nails. But I supress it.
It's all cool.
Faldo thankfully can't read my mind so he continues, letting a low sigh slip through. "I never... I never realized... Until I was eleven. Until I came back from Hogwarts for Chirstmas the first time around."
He looks at me, his eyes darker, heavier. Heavy with that secret that he has been carrying for far too long.
I nod my head, nudging him to continue.
Faldo smiles. It's the most heart breaking smile I've ever seen. It's a devastated smile. It's a rigid smile. It's a shadow of a smile. The smile that he has become so accustomed to.
"I was an accident, Blue."
"What do you mean... ?" I frown slightly at his unfinished words.
"I mean..." He gazes at me. "I was never supposed to be born."
I blink a few times, a strange feeling waking up inside of my body. A shiver, maybe. A deep, cold shiver. "Come on, you must be exaggerating."
"Oh, believe me, Blue. If anything, I'm underestimating it." He shakes his head. "I was the worst thing to happen to my parents."
I want to correct him and tell him that he's not a thing.
But he continues quickly, wanting to get it all out in one breath. "It was the day my mother was interviewed for her dream job at the university. She didn't get accepted. Of course, at the time, she was ignorant of the fact that the secretary mixed her with another girl with the same surname. She ran into a bar and decided to get drunk for the first time in her life. In the same bar my father's Quidditch mates were challenging him to seduce a plain muggle girl. He was a rising star and witches adored him. The guys were jealous and wanted to see if the spell worked anywhere else. Mother was so drunk that... It did. The next day, she got the call from work. She wanted nothing more but to ignore the previous night. Act like it was just a nightmare."
I wince at his voice. It's so cold. And I realize that he always seemed so robot like because he was training himself to look indifferent. Like it didn't care. Even now, when it's just me with him, he still can't shake off that habbit. It's grown into a reflex.
What did they do to him?
He breaths loudly again. "It soon turned into a real one when the consequences fell upon her. After some investigating, she found father..." He pierces me with a dim look, the emotions pressed back hard. "One month pregnant and delirious from anger."
I bite my lip, feeling like I'm going to break for him. Just so someone would act on all of this.
"But they had one thing in common. They were obsessed with their reputation. So... they married. Just so they could cover up the scandal, making it seem like there wasn't any to begin with. They fed everyone with a cute love at first sight story and how they dated secretly. And it was all so sweet and perfect. Within the walls of our house, they despised each other, though. They hated eacth other for making the most stupid mistake of their lives. But they were also too proud. Neither of them wanted to back out."
Faldo stops for a moment. And it's then that I can comprehend just how deep his pain is. He tries to stay stiff again. But this time, just a slight wince escapes him. "And it only got worse. On the other side, the acting just kept getting better. Perfect, actually. So perfect, I never noticed a thing. I guess I was too naive. But that's reasonable for a child, right? I was a child. But they took my childhood away from me."
His words echo the black notebook perfectly and I look at him again, wanting nothing more but to hold him. Comfort him. Tell him that everything's going to be all right. But how can I know that?
Suddenly, that hidden feeling in his gaze becomes more apparent. It's pure anger.
"They always thought about themselves. Never about me. Not once. I used to dream they'd fall back in love. Until I realized there was no love to fall back into, in the first place. They were just a pair of opportunists, scared of a bad reputation. I needed to get out. I needed to stop trying to force them to see me. That's why I was a top student. That's why I was a Quidditch star. I wanted to please both of them. Mother with my academics and father with sports. I thought... I foolishly let myself believe that they would love me then." Faldo glances at the blizzard trowing the white speck in front of us. Then he turns to me and I shudder.
"It never happened."
"But... They must feel at least some affection..." I try desperately, though it seems completely hopeless at this point.
He closes his eyes for a second. "Maybe. Maybe they do. But they never let me feel it. It's like they were constantly shoving it down eact other's throats. 'Look, I'm more miserable than you. Look, it's all because of you and this stupid mistake. I hate you!'"
He opens his eyes only to stare out at the sky again and the white surrounding the castle. It's like a contrast to the blackness of Faldo's story.
"At some point I had enough of it. I decided to screw them and be myself. Only, I never had my true self. I was trying too hard to be something that I wasn't, so I never found out who I'm supposed to be. Who I'd want to be."
Slowly and somewhat magically, all the pieces start to connect in my mind, making a big clear picture. I gaze up at him. He smiles lightly with such amazing strenght, that it puts me to shame that I'm whinning about anything. My life is fucking fabulous!
"So... that's essentially what I'm doing now. I'm searching for myself. And... " He nods to a thick book I just now notice is laying by his feet. "And I think I want to be a writer. That's why I'm reading all these books. They're literary classics of the wizarding world. Such an inspiration..."
I gape at him.
Everything flushes over me then. Our first meeting, how he was so confident, then the Christmas break, him returning so different and quiet, our first and worst fight, him never talking about his family, trying too hard to be the best in everything. And then suddenly, letting it all go. It all makes perfect sense now. So pefect, in fact, I can't believe I never suspected it had something to do with his family. Especially since he constantly avoided talking about them.
I glance at him again, while he's looking down at that random book. Longing for something good to happen to him. Wanting for this dream to become reality. A reality much brighther than the one I read about in his notebook.
And suddenly, I realize that, no, the Halloween moment wasn't when I saw the real Faldo for the first time. This is. This one. 'Cause there he is... a somewhat lonely boy, just yearning for happiness...
Something kicks inside of me and I trow myself into his arms, like I can't breath without him wrapping himself around my body. Without that suiting smell. Without his hair tickling my cheek. Without his lips touching my other cheek ever so lightly. I bury my fingers into his back, clutching to his shirt as to dear life. A sob escapes my lips. I don't even bother to cover it up.
I always thought Faldo was just so full of himself. All these years. When he was just so hurt. So broken. He needed help, but never got it. I finally understand.
And now, even though I love being left alone, I don't want to leave him. Ever.
* * *
The next thing I know is that we're sitting tightly next to eacth other, staring at my indigo butteflies making weird air saltoes.
"I wish I was in Paris now." I sigh.
Faldo doesn't answer. I glance at his profile, those long dark lashes leaning on his cheeks softly.
"You can come with me, if you want." I mutter, immediately feeling silly for doing so.
He gazes at me with a smile. "Why Paris?"
"Come on. Do you even have to ask? Like, seriously?"
Faldo laughs. I actually made him laugh.
I'm a genius.
"We should go. I'm sure you want to see Louis."
Ok, so I'm a really bad, bad human being. I just totally forgot about Louis. How is that even possible? I mean, sure, I didn't feel anything during our kiss. And sure, when he used the word boyfriend, I kind of winced. But still, have you seen that boy? I should be spazzing from giddiness. But somehow (Kill me if I know!), I'm doing the exact opposite. Plus, I'm with Faldo instead. How is this happening?
"We, um... We have time." I babble out.
Seriously, I should join Scorpius in that club. The 'Never open your mouth in public. Ever again.' club.
Faldo smiles, giving me an intense sideways look. "You actually made it. You didn't chicken out. I knew you had the nerve deep down."
Crap. Just shoot me, all right?!
"And..." I clear my throat, suddenly remembering something. "And Ophelia? You seem to like her."
"She's a great girl." He agrees.
What? What? Why is this feeling so bad?
"She reminds me of you."
Well, fuck. Why doesn't he just stab me now? I know Ophelia is my nicer and more beautiful look-alike. But he didn't have to point that out. Not him. Lee, I can forgive. But Faldo... It just hurts.
"But you're a lot more fun."
I quickly look at him just to see if I can catch a trace of his expression while saying it. But he's already smirking.
"And more whinny. And sarcastic. And freakishly tall. And dense. And a little annoying, too."
I gasp at the last one. No! He is the annoying one in this realitonship! He can not take that away and pint point it to me! It'd be so... not right.
I hit him in the arm forcefully.
"Urgh. I forgot that you're stronger, too." He jokes.
I cross my arms, huffing, while Faldo laughs with no shame what so ever.
And we're back to basis.
At that moment, a little girl with the most green eyes comes in with a letter, looking confused. She spots us and immediately hides her face with her scarlet scarf. Faldo and I share an entertained look.
"Can we help you?" I offer.
Ok. So I don't actually 'like' like children. What? Come on, you thought so too at least at some point in your life. I'm positive. You can't have a perfect experience with children. You just can't. One had to be annoying.
But this one is so cute that I actually have to say it out loud.
"You're adorable. Why are you hiding?"
Faldo raises an eyebrow at me and I roll my eyes. Like, seriously, get over it.
"You can kiss! I won't look! Pinky promise!"
Well, that's hard to believe when she's just peaking through the scarf. It's pretty much see through with all the crazy holes in it. I hate fashion scarfs. They make no sense.
And, now I'm sure I hate children again. Kissing? What is that child thinking before speaking?! Or is she even doing that? I'll have to go with-not. A frown crosses over my face.
Faldo, on the other hand, walks to her and crouches down. He lowers the scarf tenderly and reveales the girl's crimson blush.
"If I help you send the letter, will you go and hug that girl in return?"
I glare at him. Oh, this is so war.
She nods enthusiastically. What? Why is Faldo doing this?!
I watch as the girl calls her owl and Faldo carefully gives the animal the small letter. She tells him something I can't hear and Faldo ruffles her hair.
And suddenly, my heart aches for him again. I wish he had something like this. I wish someone ruffled his hair with care and love. I wish they let him be happy...
The girl then skipps to me and hugs me tightly. I trow a look at Faldo that clearly says 'I'm going to have my sweet revenge one day.' But honestly, when I catch his sweet smile, I know that's not true. If my awkward self makes him laugh, then so be it.
Wait, did I actually put Faldo in front of myself there?
Ok, I only now see why everyone keeps saying I hang out with him too much.
... Eh, not even gonna pretend I care.
'Cause you know what? I've just discovered that making Faldo happy... it makes me happy. So I'm still in the first place, you know. It's not like he means that much to me.
I smile to myself and squeeze the living daylight out of the girl, going against my pure nature. And I kind of enjoy it, too.
So. Sue. Me. I feel too good to have any regrets.
Yeah, until I remember Louis.
We've been together for a day (A day I mostly spent with Faldo, too.) and I already want to break up. Whaaat? That must be some kind of a record. Especially if you considere that I'm supposedly dating my dream guy.
Well, I did warn you I'm a freak, no?
A/N: And what a freak she is! :D So, I think you'll want to kill me for pairing Louis and Dora up in this. But let's just say I don't think you'll feel that way for too long. ;) I hope you enjoyed this one. Read and review! I love hearing what you think!
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