Useless Potion number one; Farting potion. This one was a favourite of James and Sam in their early Hogwarts years. Thought Professor Grimly, the potions master, never took too kindly to this one. I believe that James was given the instructions by his Uncle George; these were first put into use in our second year when Sam slipped some into Harrison Dorms’s pumpkin juice in the morning. James has tried to use it on my numerous times, but thankfully I have an intolerance to one of the roots in it. So whenever he slips it into my drinks it’s an instant vomcaino, to put it simply he has learnt not to do it anymore. Once I think that I was sick in his lap, nice don’t you think?
I bring this up, you ask why? Well because in a Potions lesson we were brewing an advance Pepper Up potion. It was part of our course work, and was vital for me as I need to boost my grade next year as I was rubbish at the potions exams.
James and Sam on the other hand, found it rather amusing to brew a Farting Potion. I thought it’s rather insulting to me, as the felt that they didn’t have to work for their grades; it made me feel rather stupid. But they never saw that side of things. Also they had a willing victim, in the form of Paul.
I could see the consequence not being rather pretty or hygienic.
“This is going to be sooo funny.” Sam chuckled, trying to keep his voice down.
To give them credit they were very good at potions, and could probably to the Pepper
Up potion with their eyes closed. But it was the principal of the thing; I worked hard, they didn’t. I failed, they didn’t.
But their lack of failure was due to Richard taking notes and allowing them to copy them.
“Richard, which end do I chop from?” I asked, moving my silver knife from one end of the long warty root to the other.
“Hold it like this and then cut down the middle,” he said, rolling over the root and tracing where I should cut with his finger.
We stirred, added, heated, stirred again, simmered and left to cool. After about half an hour it slowly tuned the right colour and consistency.
“High five!” I said, putting my hand up for Richard to hit. Our potion was possibly the best I had ever seen.
“Class, you have five minutes, once you are done please fill two vials, with your potion, and place it in the rack in front of you.” Droned Professor Grimly, who was sat hunched over a large book at his desk.
Slowly I dipped the ladle into the steaming cauldron and filled the vials, placing them carefully in the tube rack at the front of our table. When I finished I turned to look at
James and Sam, they were still sniggering, but filling their vials.
“Now, please drink them!” Grimly announced much to the horror of James and Sam.
“If you have brewed it right then you will feel...peppered up.” He said letting a smallsmile cream cross his normally sullen face.
I picked up one of the small vial and drained it in one go. He was right, I felt better instantly. It was like I had just woken up and washed my face with fresh water, but yet
I was warmed through. I could understand why this potion was used for ill patients who were feeling a little down or drained.
James on the other hand was eyeing his with a look of distain on his face.
“Come on Potter get it down you!” Grimly bellowed from across the other side of the room, he was at that point delivering an antidote to Jay Combs, who had turned a nasty green colour.
“Give me some of yours!” Sam hissed, at me.
“Not likely.” I said, watching with a smug look on my face, as Richard drained the rest of his potion.
Sam made a rude gesture at us and went back to delaying the drinking of his evil concoction.
“Mr Potter and Mr Blake, it will be three hundred points from Gryffindor if you do not drink your potion now. Or is there something you would like to tell me about your potion?” Grimly said, with a knowing look on his face.
“No sir.” They chimed.
James and Sam were very house-proud and would never under any circumstance (well very few) lose points for their actions, and this would not be the exception.
Each of them gulped and then tipped their vials back, draining the grey liquid into their mouths in one. It was a rather grim sight to behold and slowly I dawned on me that James would expect me to talk to him for the rest of the day. However I was not going to be seen with him whilst he was emitting gasses from his rear end.
“Thank you.” Professor Grimly said, smug at his power of persuasion. “You may go.”
With a swoop of his black cape he had disappeared from the room, a second later the bell rang and the class pilled out of the room.
There was a very loud farting noise.
“James, stay away from me.” I said, doing my best to get away from the stinky boy, in the crowd of sixth years.
He didn’t reply, or at least I didn’t hear it. I managed to slip away and melt into the flow of students heading for the great hall for lunch.
“So, how did you manage to stop it?” I asked through a mouthful of lasagne. My table manners were much to be desired sometimes, at other times I was impeccable.
“Well since George gave us the recipe he has also given up a counter potion, which luckily we had a small vial of.” Sam said through a mouth full of Lasagne too.
I nodded, knowing that somehow they would have sorted it. I looked over to James who usually was stuffing his face like it was the last day on earth, but today he was just prodding at the pasta on his plate.
“Hey, James what’s up?” I asked, smiling sweetly at him.
“Nothing...just tired.” He smiled slightly, and proceeded to slowly shovel the food into his mouth.
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