Chapter 1 : Ummm...... Meh!
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Also a big shout out to Hpgrl!!!
Prepare yourselves for a story that will totally blow your mind. I can just tell, by the end you will be amazed, no?
I am the omniscient sultry-super-cool voice roaming throughout the story which will make this story twice as awesome. I know that right now I shouldn’t be talking about myself and introduce my OC, but at the moment I have placed her in a very pickle of a situation.
“James Sirius Potter, you take that back!” My OC shouted, as she stared at the topless-tanned-body-of-a-GOD-man-hunk standing before her in just his boxers.
Four months and I haven’t made it any better for her; I made her curse the day that McGonagall sent her that stupid letter.
Dear Miss Butterscotch Bellatrix Aphrodite Orion Smith,
This year at Hogwarts we have decided to do the unexpected and allow the Head boy and Head Girl to share a dormitory within Hogwarts. In light of this we decided that the best way to make this work was to place two people who had undeniable sexual tension. So after much deliberation we found that you and Mr James Sirius Potter had the most sexual tension brewing and therefore would be best suited for the Head Boy and Head girl Position, so that you could relieve yourselves of the said sexual tension. You will find located all the necessities that you will need, such as sexual massage oils, a hot-tub located near the back and a house-elf dedicated to you at your disposal. Please abuse your power and use this time wisely. Please do not let me down.
Headmistress, Professor McGonagall.
(A tabby cat so badass that it wears glasses).
During that flashback, no time had passed as James and Scotti (because Scotti is a much cooler nickname and with the ‘i’ instead of ‘y’ that just makes it even more fly. Yes I did rhyme, like I said I am super cool) continued to argue.
“The one day I decided to come down from my pedestal, you insult me by saying that I am a ten out of ten!”
“Well you are a ten out of ten,” said James in his sexy seductive tone.
James pushed Scotti up against the wall, because I can’t think of any more awesome dialogue, and trapped her within his nicely toned manly arms. Staring into each other’s lust filled eyes of hatred, they both began breathing heavily as if they had both just been winded. Warm breath mingling over their faces, the whole atmosphere just began to ooze sexual tension. Scotti’s shimmering green/blue/violet/gold eyes wondered down James’ face and body, and landed on his glorious man-pecks.
Wanting to touch those toned muscles so bad, Scotti tried to diffuse the situation but instead she made it a hundred times worse by mentioning a word that just had the atmosphere screaming ‘SEXUAL TENSION’ and made them want to get down and dirty in the hot tub.
James let out a groan of approval, as Scotti slowly bent down and tied his shoelaces that he just happened to be wearing. Because when you stare into someone's eyes you automatically think about their shoes and the sexual tension just explodes.
Sorry what? No this isn't cringe-worthy. You just go and ask Ginny Potter about this technique; apparently it is her and Harry’s favourite thing to do in the bedroom.
As Scotti slowly made her way back up, James cupped her head to the side and whispered seductively in her ear. "I am now going to walk out now without a backward glance because this is too early on in the story and we aren't supposed to be together until the end." A pleasurable moan escaped Scotti’s cherry/strawberry/raspberry red lips. "I have a Quidditch match to go to now, that I have only just remembered, so I will be leaving to make my way now in just my boxers and shoes which nobody will ever question."
And just like that James strode out of the Head’s dorm in just his tight black boxers and shoes.
Leaving the Head dorm a few minutes after James had left, Scotti made her way down to the Great Hall to meet her best friend Rose Weasley.
"Oh crap, I forgot to bring my Gryffindor scarf from my room."
Oh yeah come on, like she would really be in any other house.
"I wanted to wave it around to show my support for Jame- I mean for my house. I always seem to forget things. One day I am sure I am going to forget something important. Oh well never mind," she said to herself as she made her way to the Great Hall.
As Scotti stood by the entrance of the hall a short blonde caught her attention. “Hey Scotti did, you hear the news? Apparently Rose and my brother are a shoe in for the Head position next year,” said Capricornus Malfoy.
I bet you didn’t know that Malfoy had a sister or that she was in Gryffindor, this story is just full of the unexpected right?
Scotti stared at the blonde haired, grey eyed beauty. Yes, everyone is described as beautiful because well everyone at Hogwarts is HOT, but not as HOT as Scotti of course. Well everyone except for Molly Weasley, we never forgave her dad for being a pompous twit so we decided to take it out on her instead and make her BUTT-UGLY, with a shitty personality. However we are not evil, so we decided to make her sister Lucy average but not as fit as the rest of the Weasley clan that somehow all of a sudden just ooze sex appeal.
"Anyway, I have gotta go stalk Albus now, as that is one of the main reasons that I was conceived. See you Scotti.”
Looking at the blonde haired, grey eyed splendour as she ran away, Scotti thought how much prettier she was then this Malfoy chick.
Standing by the entrance of the Great Hall, Scotti stared over the four tables in search of her best friend. It was now much easier to find people ever since Hogwarts decided to split the tables up into name categories instead of being divided by houses, since people only remembered two and a half anyway. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Raven something and that yellow house that looks like bumblebee’s, where the most famous person they had was someone who the Dark Lord made sparkly.
So now they were divided by the Constellations, the Namesakes, The Greek Gods/Goddess’s and the Food Groups. This is why Scotti was so awesome because her name can fit into every table.
And it was there, in between the Namesake table and the Constellations table where Scotti found Rose and Scorpius making out and then firing hexes at each other. Scotti waved her hands frantically to call Rose over, but it was still sexy because everything that Scotti does is sexy.
Snogging their way through the aisle to make it back down to the entrance to meet Scotti, Rose shoved Scorpius off her and slapped his face hard. From this slap, Scorpius was somehow reminded of the slap that Rose's mum gave his dad back in third year.
“You stay away from me Scorpius! Little ferrets like you get on my nerves!”
“Don’t flatter yourself Weasley. I’d rather be in that bumblebee house that no-one remembers, then give you the time of day!” said Scorpius, walking off into the distance. Giving us a great view of that hot little arse of his as he walked away.
“Why did Albus have to befriend that smoking-hot-nice-arse-I-just-want-to-rip-off-his-shirt-baboon! I mean I know Albus had to be best friends with Scorpius because there was no-one else that got sorted into Slytherin for him to be friends with. Because if there were more people sorted into his house he would have totally been best friends with them instead right? Darn Albus, for meeting him on the train that very first day.” Rose complained, scrunching up her beautiful face to show her distaste.
Scotti rolled her yellow/silver/maroon eyes at her best friend and checked her watch, it was quarter to nine already, the match started at eleven thirty! “Rose come on we can talk about how much you love/hate Scorpius later, but right now we need to get to that Quidditch match otherwise we are going to be late!” Scotti exclaimed.
“You're right, you are always right,” Rose agreed, looking at her super sexy OC of a best friend. “Are you ready to go?”
“Rose, I was born ready,” Scotti smirked.
Dim the lights. Cue wind machine. Sexy-super-slow-motion and lots and lots of steam, just to emphasise their sexiness...
Raising their hands at the top of their heads, Scotti and Rose reached to grab the grips that held their hair in place, releasing them from their stable hold. Both of their luscious hair flowed down in waves to hang down by their shoulders. Running their fingers through their hair, they shook their wondrous locks, making it float around their faces and shimmer through the lighting, as though they were in one of those badass shampoo commercials. There was a mix of fiery red hair and dirty blonde as Rose and Scotti whipped their hair from side to side. Strutting and flaunting their drop dead curvaceous figures, they casually threw winks/smiles/smirks at bystanders that were stuck in place due to being gobsmacked and were drooling from their beauty.
“We must give the crowd what they want,” said Rose in slow motion, tousling her amazing ringlet mane of thick auburn hair, that seemed to be exactly like her mother's but a different colour.
“Don’t you hate how our super-model perfectness and amazing witty/smart personality can be such a burden,” said Scotti, flicking her hair over one shoulder and winking at a boy in the crowd, who looked like he was about to pee from excitement.
James Potter, Al Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, Fred Weasley and Louis Weasley all stood at the end of the corridor, posing like they were in some kind of boy band, with Lorcan and Lysander Scamander standing behind them as their groupies. They all had the seductive looks, sultry eyes and smouldering expressions. With an arm behind their head to make it look like they were running their hand through their just-got-out-of-bed-but-it-actually-took-me-three-hours-to-perfect-hair, when in fact they just wanted to push out their epic boy band muscles.
They looked like they were about to perform a dance number, but of course, don't be silly, they won't be doing that, this story is realistic of course. What do you guys take me for? Jeez.
They will perform their dance number at the end of the match when it starts to rain, so that they can rip off their shirts and the wet water droplets can slither down there epically chiselled chests, now that is what you call realistic.
“James have you tapped that yet?” asked Fred, who was looking around for new pranks to play, exactly like his namesake.
James looked at the slow moving Amazon-body-of-a-goddess, strutting through the corridor. Who was still by the Great Hall entrance after twenty minutes. “Of course I have, and I will again. But the next time I want it to be special; I want it to last longer than a few minutes. And to do that I must get rid of all the other girls," sighed James sultrily exactly like his namesake. "So that she realises she's the girl for me,” he continued, as he winked at his fan girls that followed him everywhere.
"Don’t worry you two are destined to be together,” said Al, half like his namesake.
Al being wise I could handle, but having greasy hair and being unpopular, no, no, no that just wouldn’t do. So out of all the people who have namesakes, Albus Potter is the only one who doesn’t act like his.
At that moment a fiery red head wearing all white passed the swoon worthy boy band.
“Lily, what have I told you about leaving the dorm, without your body guard?” shouted James, his eyes glowing red with rage due to his over protectiveness for his sister.
“I was hungry, I had to get some food,” Lily complained. “Honestly, I promise, on my way here I walked with eyes closed not looking at any boy. I promised you both that I would stay a virgin until I was forty because I know how overprotective you can be and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
James relaxed and looked at his sister, “You know we only do this because this is how every older brother behaves. And next time, please wait for Hugo; he is supposed to be looking after you. Oh and don’t forget that at all times you must be wearing your-“
“Chastity belt. I know, I know,” said Lily rolling her eyes at her brother. “Good luck for the match guys, I will see you later.” Lily ran off, happy with the fact that her chastity belt came off a very long time ago and that her brothers would never know.
“Anyway come on guys, we have got a match to play. Good luck little brother, Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, brother vs. brother, who would have thought it eh?” smirked James.
Two hours and forty-five minutes later.....
“It's a good job we started our slow walking strut when we did otherwise we would have missed the match,” said Scotti staring at the green and scarlet players flying through the air.
However, at this time Scotti’s mind was burdened with a big secret that she must tell Rose, so unfortunately I can't give you a detailed description of Quidditch manoeuvres and tactics. Because let's face it that would take effort, so instead I will just fill it up with even more awesome dialogue.
“Rose, I have got something really important to tell you,” said Scotti, biting her bottom lip nervously, but looking very good while doing it.
“Is this about Tori and Teddy’s wedding because I told you they are totally fine with the fact that you let it slip that Dom was sleeping with Teddy and maybe potentially having his child. You're still allowed to come to the wedding because everyone loves you," said Rose, her eyes fixated on a hot blonde in green who was travelling through the sky. "And it is all water under the bridge anyway because we are such a close-knit family we always manage to get on.”
“No this isn’t about-“
“You know, Uncle Harry is even inviting his relatives to Tori’s wedding. His cousin has a daughter and they have just discovered that she is a wizard. Also his auntie from his Dad’s side is coming,” said Rose.
“Rose, will you stop-. Wait your uncle Harry has got family on his Dad’s side? I thought they were all dead?” said Scotti shocked at this new revelation, she should have already known this.
“No, apparently, Uncle Harry’s agents decided that the whole ‘boy who lived angle’ would only work if he was an orphan. So they put his Dad’s sister into hibernation. Now that the war is over she can come out, apparently she is really nice though,” said Rose, still gazing her deep sea blue eyes at the blonde.
“Wow,” said Scotti.
Shaking her head she remembered the important secret that she just had to tell Rose. “Listen, I really do need to tell you something though.” Staring at her best friend, she followed Rose’s gaze to the blonde dream boat in the sky.
“Rose!” exclaimed Scotti, nudging Rose with her elbow. “You are such a ho, will you stop staring at Avocado McLaggen I am trying to tell you something important here. And wipe your mouth, you’re drooling.” Scotti giggled as she rolled her eyes at her friend. ”Like mother, like daughter.”
“Sorry,” said Rose using her thumb to wipe the drool from the corner of her mouth. “He's just so sexy, just look at those golden blonde curls. Hey! My mum isn’t a ho!”
“Viktor Krum, your dad, the other Weasley brother's, Harry, Cormac, Cedric, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lavender, Parvati and don’t even get me started on what she got up to with Draco Malfoy at the Yule Ball!” said Scotti counting off Hermione Granger, sorry Weasley’s conquests on her hands.
“Yeah, I suppose you're right; I just can’t help myself though. With all the canon character’s children coincidently born so that we are all at Hogwarts together I just can’t contain myself,” Rose said, her eyes once again drifting back up to the sky to watch the players.
“I thought you wanted to get it on with Scorpius anyway?” Scotti asked.
“I do! But there's no way that my dad would ever allow that in a million years,” Rose sighed, flicking her attractive mane of red hair out of her face.
“Come on, I am sure that if Draco Malfoy can go all OOC enough to shag your mum, then I am sure your dad will be willing to at least consider it?”
“No, he is always the same. Never accepting,” said Rose her face looking glum. “Anyway you said there was something that you had to tell me?”
“Oh yes, I have to tell you my deepest darkest secret. And I have to tell you now at this very lively Quidditch match where we could possibly be overheard.”
Scotti took a deep breath and unleashed her tortured soul onto Rose.
“I can never be with James because I am......... I am Lord Voldemort’s daughter.”
Rose gasped all theatrically and opened her mouth to ask a question but Scotti stopped her.
“Don't ask me how it is possible, but apparently Voldemort took my mother into one of Hogwarts many dark/sexy/it’s hidden but everyone can still blatantly see you alcoves. Or was it one of the many classrooms that aren't there to be studied in but are used to relieve sexual tension instead? I can’t remember. Anyway my mum then had his baby decades later just so that this whole story could come together. I mean you can tell Voldemort, sorry I mean my dad, always wanted children. Him trying to kill Harry as a baby just proves that.”
At that moment, Scotti felt a tap interrupt her awesome explanation.
“Excuse me,” said this greasy black haired sneering girl.“But I happened to overhear your big secret, since I was listening in but I do believe I must correct you. I am in fact Lord Voldemort’s daughter.”
“No you’re Snape's daughter you idiot and you have got your own story, so piss off'!” said Scotti, sticking her tongue out. “So anyway, so do you think James will ever be able to accept me?” she asked nervously.
“Of course he will. We all will, we can get through this together,” said Rose embracing Scotti in a hug.
“Oh, no Rose. I have just had a vision!”
Did I mention that Scotti was a seer? This girl is just too awesome right?
“The Triwizard Tournament is coming this year when we are all old enough to take part, and someone is going to die! Yes, I know! And I have just seen that some American is going to put my name into the goblet of fire!”
“Oh, Merlin!” said Rose clutching her mouth in shock. “How are you going to find out which American? There are so many exchange students now! This is really terrible.”
“I know, isn’t it terrible when someone puts your name in the goblet of fire without telling you?” Scotti sighed. "Also I saw that some red head is going to end up pregnant, I couldn't see who it was but somehow I miraculously know that their last name begins with a 'W' and ends in a 'y'."
Rose laughed, "Gutted for whomever that poor sucker is."
Yes they are both so clever that they miss the obvious. Hey, it happens.
Scotti then felt a big drop of rain splash on her nose. “Oh, the match must be finished already,” she said looking up to the sky and feeling the torrential rain coming down hard. Gazing over the pitch Scotti, saw all the Quidditch players strip off their shirts and partake in some badass hip thrusting action and dance to some HOT(cough, cheesy) love song.
It was through this that Scotti knew that she and James were now officially boyfriend and girlfriend, the actions and the hip thrusts just said it all.
Clutching her hand to her heart, so that people would know how touched she was by James’ gesture, Scotti suddenly gasped in horror.
“What is it? Another vision?” asked Rose worriedly.
“No!” exclaimed Scotti as she reached into her blouse and pulled out a golden object. “The Time-Turner, I forgot to mention the Time-Turner!”
Well I, being the awesome narrator that I am, totally saw that coming. Hence my great use of foreshadowing.
The wet dog look suddenly coming into fashion at that very moment, so that they both still looked flippin' sexy, Rose turned to Scotti mimicking her horror. “Not to worry, my mum said that this Time-Turner that we somehow have in our possession must only be used for important, life or death situations, and I definitely class this as one of those moment.”
Wrapping the golden chain around both of their necks, Rose twisted the golden pristine Time-Turner.
Prepare yourselves for a story that will totally blow your mind.
I can just tell by the end you will be amazed, no?
Would love to know you guys think of this horrible story =D!