Hey! so this is a plot penguin that jumped out at me one night, and decided to do something about it -and I'm glad I did, because I really like this. And I hope you do too. Enjoy!
From the metal diary of Valentine Brooks:
Waiting is atrocious.
I should have never done it. I mean, I was way too young for sex! I barely even knew what was going on or what to do! It wasn’t even that good –it was over real quickly, and it wasn’t that enjoyable. And it was one time –after one insane random burst of passion and lust and revenge. I mean, I was hurt, I was vulnerable, I was completely pissed at the fact that everyone kept coming over to me with pity (i hate pity)– quite technically I wasn’t in my right mind, kinda like drunk people. Drunken people can’t possibly be held in contempt if they were drunk! They can barely walk without wobbling for crying out loud! I really don't get why girls get all uptight and don't believe their boyfriends when they said they got drunk. So you see, it wasn’t my fault, I just jumped on the first bloke that came up to me pity-less and understanding me.
This bloody pregnancy test can’t go any slower.
I hate this. I hate the sodding wait. And, I really can’t stress this enough, it wasn’t. My. fault! Why should I be suffering? Why should I be here, racking my brains and biting the fingernails that had taken me months to grow out? It is not fair. Why aren’t sluts like Gabriella Hunter here? Nope, instead it has to be me.
Common, really? I have been screaming at myself in my mind for like an hour!
Well, I guess I have time to kill until the results of this bloody stick pop up, and maybe telling you all about it will sorta take my mind of the fact that in six minutes or so my life may or may not change forever.
So let’s start at the beginning.
“Are you serious?!”
“No, Nuh-uh. I won’t believe it.”
“You are shitting me.”
Yes, this are some of the screeches that have been heard around the castle for the past month since the biggest scandal this school has heard after the chamber of secrets myth being true came out. To start telling you my story, I need to begin from the absolute basic: Chapter one.
CHAPTER ONE: THE BIGGEST SCANDAL SINCE THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS MYTH BEING TRUE.
Get ready for this, folks, because I can assure you that you will fall hard on your arse once you hear what has been driving the Hogwarts population nuts. I hereby decree:
Albus Potter is gay.
What? Didn’t catch that? Well, here it is again:
Albus Potter is gay.
Really? Not believing it? I’ll show it one last time:
Albus Potter is gay.
I know. Pretty hard to believe. It’s like, what? Al Potter, son of the man who saved the wizarding world? Slytherin Quidditch Captain? Manliest man hunk you can ever see? The one with the six pack? The one with the girlfriends? Gay?! What?!
Yes, folks. Al Potter has finally come out of the imaginative closet of gay people.
(I never really got that, you know.)
I wanna cry.
I mean, these news had been harder on me that they have been on anybody else on this castle. You wanna know why? Because I have fancied Al’s pants off for the last two years and this year, the first time I decide to actually do something about it (more specifically tomorrow, on Valentine’s day) he decides to come out of the closet. I mean, really? Who makes this stuff up?
I am not, like, truly heartbroken over the fact that he’s homosexual, but I just feel let down. Like I wasted all this time crushing on a bloke I was never going to have a chance with for the lone fact that I'm not a boy.
Its just sucks, you know?
And so that brings us along to Chapter Two: The scandals are yet not over. (Which really really really sucks.)
CHAPTER TWO: THE SECOND BIGGEST SCANDAL SINCE ALBUS POTTER BEING GAY, AND THEREFORE LETTING EVERYONE KNOW THAT THE STRING OF SCANDALS IS NOT THROUGH BEING OVER.
So, as that wonderful title probably warns you, that was not it. Adding insult to injury (and fact that Al Potter –not quite broke, since I didn’t care that much, so yeah–frustrated my heart) came the second biggest scandal this school has heard since Albus Potter being gay:
He’s dating my brother. My brother.
I’m truly serious. He’s going out with my brother.
Karma is really a bitch. Well, I am sorry for yelling at that first year and stealing his cookie, but this is NOT the way to pay me back!
I mean, it was bad enough that the bloke I had been having daydreams about turned out to be gay, but he’s also now dating my brother. Has been dating my brother. FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS.
I mean, really? REALLY?!
Now, let’s move along to the next step, chapter three, while I scream in my mind some more.
CHAPTER THREE: MY BROTHER’S SHOCKING, UNFORGIVABLE HIPOGRIFF-SIZED BETRAYAL AND HOW HE’S STILL GETTING THE SILENT TREATMENT BECAUSE HE’S TO DUMB TO REALIZE HE OWES ME AN APOLOGY.
I remember the day my brother told me he was bi –as in sexual. It had been last year, in fifth. But first –a little about him.
So, Chapter Three, Part I: Vince Brooks.
Vince and I are pretty close –we are twins after all. I’m actually three minutes older than him so he’s technically my baby brother. He’s always pestering me about this but I ain’t having it. It’s in our medical records: I am older and there’s no denying it. His full name is actually Vincent (my mother thought she was so clever by naming both of us with the same starting letter, no matter how usual and clichéd it was) and just like the kabalistic meaning of his name lets us know, he’s popular, witty, and the best person to talk to –may be a little lacking in the advice department but not complaining here. He’s my best friend, and I love him and everything about him. If anything happens, I know I’ll always have Vince.
When he told me he was bi, I didn’t get upset, I didn’t cry, nor did I tell him he was shunned from my life. I mean, being bisexual is something that everyone (except homophobes) has to go through at least once in their lives. Hell, I’m sure I’m bi. But whatever. I did the only thing that I had to do and supported him. I said, “You go, bitch!” and then high-fived him. I remember his shocked expression; he had definitely thought that I would go all crazy-overprotective-slightly-older-psycho-sister-bitch mode on his arse and pull a freaker. I mean, so he likes blokes! Big deal. We are all just people after all; I don’t really see why people freak out about these things.
So Vince, being my wonderful bi twin brother, being my best friend, the person who truly knows me the most, OF COURSE he knew about my crush on Al Potter for ages. So that’s why I was mostly shocked and hurt about all these scandals; not the fact that the love of my life is gay, but that Vince knew how much I fancied him and still went ahead and started dating him, especially for so long. Vince isn’t exactly one to keep secrets, so I was very shocked of how he managed to keep this from me for nearly four months. Of course, until the day before Valentine’s Day when Al Potter broke it to the school that the girls fantasizing about him were not getting a chance ever.
It’s just, I never saw it coming. I mean, Albus Potter. Gay. Albus Potter. Has a boyfriend. Who’s my brother. My brother. Dating. Albus. Who’s gay. And dating. My brother. My baby brother Vince. Dating. Albus. Gahhh.
And with this we head on to chapter four.
CHAPTER FOUR: MOST PEOPLE AT THIS SCHOOL WERE FULLY AWARE OF MY CRUSH AND SO KEPT GIVING ME THIS PITY LOOKS THAT FRUSTRATED ME INSTEAD OF MAKING ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE I HATE SYMPATHY WITH MY VERY BEING.
Every day since the news came out I had been getting this weird sympathetic glances from everyone I knew, which coincidentally enough was everyone who knew that I fancied Al. Of course, I’m crap at these subliminal hints, and it wasn’t until people started approaching me and expressing their condolence at my pathetic lack of a love life (though in nicer words) that the warning bells went off. I mean, sure –the boy I fancied was gay and currently taken by my brother. It was quite the shock, but not really the end of the world, no one had died.
It was that woeful day that I had been hiding out at the library, making sure that the stack of book in front of me were keeping me safe and sound out of view. But sadly, that did not stop Felicia Spring from spotting me and bouncing over.
I hate bouncy people.
“Valentine!” She had slowly trilled, making me jump and spill my ink bottle all over my potions essay. That scattered-brained sodhead didn’t notice and took a seat in front of me, pushing back the books with a wave of her wand. So much for my hiding retreat.
She put on a grave expression. “I heard. I am so sorry; this must be so hard on you!”
I had smiled tightly and tried very hard to not hex her pretty blond brain cell off. “Yeah, it is. Now, Felicia, d’ya mind…?”
“I mean, really, with everything that’s happened you must think enough is enough, right? And everyone feels so bad for you, they all pity you…” She went on, not listening to a single word I’d uttered.
“Yes, it sucks, but would you please leave?”
“First the bloke you fancy likes other blokes and then he’s going out with your brother! Going behind your back for three months…”
“FELICIA!” I had shouted exasperated and she’d jumped, her attention finally on me. “LEAVE!”
She luckily was quick to scramble away without another word. I had been about to punch something.
Ugh, how I hated all those people pitying me and secretly feeling better for themselves!
“Hey, Valentines, how’s it going?” A voice had said. Frowning, I looked up and it was true despite the fact that I could not believe my eyes. James Potter was talking to me. Me.
Which brings us to chapter five.
CHAPTER FIVE: THE EGOTIST ANNOYING GIT OF JAMES POTTER AND THE FACT THAT HE HAD JUST PLOPPED DOWN IN FRONT OF ME TO TALK LIKE WE NEVER DO.
I can count the number of times James has spoken to me with the fingers of one hand: four. So you see why I blinked and wondered if James Potter had seriously just sat down to start a little chat or if I was hallucinating from all the fumes in the potions classroom.
1. First Year. He introduced himself to the new lot of Gryffies as James Sirius Potter, son of the man who saved the wizarding world and said he was really awesome and that we needed to hand over the cookies. Doesn’t really count.
2. Third Year. I slammed into him on the hallway, dropping all my books. James dropped to his knees and started picking them up when he found my unicorn journal. He made fun of it and I shoved him, so he asked my name for being one of the few people who weren’t afraid of him.
3. Third Year again. He stole my unicorn journal (really, he's like obsessed with it) and dropped it on the roof of the Herbology greenhouse, forcing me to get on a broom for the first time and rescue it. He then proceeded to name me “cool” and greet me with a “VALENTINES!” in the hallways, which technically doesn’t count as conversation as I would duck and run away to avoid potential humiliation.
4. Last Year in the owlery, he asked to borrow my owl.
So you get why I had been surprised.
“Why are you talking to me?” I had asked, ignoring his penetrating gaze. It made me uncomfortable, as if I was under the lime light. Which I was. James Potter was talking to me; that was enough to give me my fifteen minutes of fame. Vince and I, we are pretty average. We blended into the crowd. We had fun with other average people. We are not the type of people that hung out with the Weasley-Potter family, those were the popular people. But we were normal. We didn’t socialize with the Weasley-Potter clan not because we didn’t want to or we hated them, but just, no.
Well, until now.
“What, I can’t talk to my sweet Valentines whenever I feel like it?”
I blinked. “You know what I mean.”
James had sighed and leaned forward in the table, making this conversation private. “So you’ve heard.”
I then proceeded to slam my book on the table. “Yes! Yes, I have heard, everyone on the bloody school has heard, now why won’t people leave me alone?!”
James had chuckled. “Because, darling, the whole school is aware of your crush on my brother. Now that this happened, they feel the need to comfort you.”
“And I feel the need to hex some people.”
James rolled his eyes, a smile on his lips. Then I started thinking about him –how was his family taking the news? Did Harry Potter know? How would he react to his son being gay?
“How are you guys taking it?” I had asked carefully, giving him the chance to not answer if he wanted to.
But James had smiled. “It’s not a big deal. I mean, my brother’s gay, though a little leaning to the bi side. That’s it. I actually already knew for a while, though the fact that he was seeing your brother was a surprise.” He scratched the back of his neck and frowned to the table. Maybe he was cool with Al liking blokes but actually being with one was hard to watch.
I knew the feeling.
“To everyone,” I had muttered.
James grabbed my hand and I knitted my eyebrows. “They won’t give your brother a hard time. I mean, he’s dating a Potter. That’s the other reason why they are not giving Al a hard time –its all in the last name.” He shrugged and took the book I had slammed, placing it on top of the pile to the side of us. “They rather throw themselves off the Astronomy Tower before teasing a Potter.” He had smirked and then tilted his chin up. “It’s because we are awesome.”
I had rolled my eyes then, and when they landed I noticed a mournful Teddy Williams in the entrance of the library, craning his neck. That and the yellow daisies he was holding let me know that he was looking for me.
And that is moving along to Chapter six.
CHAPTER SIX: TEDDY WILLIAMS AND HIS COMPLETELY EXASPERATING OBSESSION WITH ME AND THE FACT THAT HE DOES NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER –AND THE AFTERMATH OF ME ESCAPING THE BLOKE.
Teddy Williams had been in love with me since forever and every time he asked me out, (which was a lot –that kid did not know the meaning of “ain’t gonna happen”) I fed him the same line, “I’m sorry, but I fancy Al Potter”. It was obvious then that he did not stand a chance.
Of course, now I did not stand a chance.
And he’d obviously thought he did.
“Hide me,” I’d whispered in panic, grabbing James’ shoulders and trying to hide from view in his contexture. The last thing I needed was for Teddy Williams to embarrass me when I was having a conversation with James Potter. I mean, besides the fact that he was James Potter, he was also the Gryffindor Quidditch Team Captain, and the most eligible bachelor at Hogwarts. Like I said, I was gloating in my fifteen minutes of fame.
James had chuckled and stood up. “Common, I know a portrait that will get us out of here.”
He sure had known. After all, no one knew the Hogwarts Grounds like James Potter did. Seriously, it was like he had a map or something. He led me through secret passages, portraits, and halls hidden behind tapestries, and before I knew it, we were far away from the library and approaching the fat lady.
It was a Hogsmeade day, so the common room was particularly empty but for a few loser firsties with homework to do. The still losers but yet a bit more sophisticated second years knew well enough than to spend a Hogsmeade day stuck in doors so they were splashing around in the lake and strolling through the grounds. Well, James Potter did not socialize with firsties and could not be seeing around one, so we went up to his dorm.
Yeah, I think you would have guessed by now –if I am pregnant, it means that James Potter is the father.
I mean, how completely and utterly clichéd and slutty of me? I mean, “Oh, I fancy Al but he’s gay. Well, I guess I’ll go cope off with his brother”. No! No way! And don’t worry –I do hate myself, I do regret it, and I am miserable. So I’m fine. BUT I HATE CLICHÉS, WHICH IS WHY I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING MYSELF EVEN MORE.
And so comes chapter seven.
CHAPTER SEVEN: CONFESSIONS OF A LONG-RUNNING CRUSH AND A VULNERABLE VALENTINE.
We sat on his bed and talked for a long time about the subject –he explained it was hard on them, told me his parents didn’t know, told me he understood me since both our brothers were gay and dating each other. Told me it sucked that I was getting all the pity because people were too afraid of giving him pity since James Potter doesn’t do sympathy. Well, I don’t do sympathy either, but the students of Hogwarts flat-out refused to acknowledge that, one of the many reasons why I hate them. James listened to me. He understood. He said it would all blow over soon. And then he kissed me.
At first I had been so shocked that I actually fell off his bed –I mean, James Potter kissed me. Me. Valentine Brooks. Average girl. What??? But he was quick to help me to my feet. He admitted he had a crush on me since we first met back in his fourth year. And then he snogged me again. And then we had sex.
Now, come on, I’m no slut. But I was vulnerable. My brother was gay and dating my crush and James Potter was here snogging me and holding me close and I just gave in. I didn’t want to think at all. I didn’t want to think about Vince and Al and Teddy Williams or even stupid Felicia, or the fact that everyone on the school was pitying me and feeling better about themselves behind my back. I didn’t want to care for once. I just closed my eyes and kissed him back, and let him lay me back on his bed.
And that small spasm of recklessness and stupidity has gotten me here, locked in a bathroom as I wait impatiently for the results of a pregnancy test.
I want to hang myself.
James is waiting outside the door –I told him the minute I got suspicious. Things between us had grown mind-numbingly awkward after it, to the point where we would both blush whenever in each other’s presence and always take the long way to class to avoid seeing each other in the hallway. I mean, “It” was very awkward already before the fact that I had just lost my virginity to my crush’s brother due to the fact that he was gay had snapped me back into focus once it was all over. And I felt so bad for avoiding him but I just couldn’t take it –and it wasn’t as if he was making an effort to see me. Actually, he had being avoiding me too.
But I couldn’t carry the burden alone with me and so the second I started wondering if I was pregnant I ran over to him and told him. Well, not that a baby is a burden. Especially not this baby –my baby. James’ baby. This wouldn’t be a burden at all, but a blessing.
I sniff and sit on the toilet, drawing my knees to my chest as I am overcome by an epiphany. I want this baby. I’m gonna have this baby. Sure I was reckless, sure I was stupid. But I won’t give it to adoption. It’s mine. I’ll raise it alone if I have to. I’ll quit school, won’t do my N.E.W.Ts. This is way more important than some stupid exams. I mean, what are they going to do? They are not going to teach me to be a good mum.
I’m having it. I’m having this baby.
Mum is going to kill me.
I reach over to my still flat stomach, very much knowing that it won’t be in a few months. I never really got how mommies-to-be always freaked out about getting fat, I mean, it’s a good thing. They are harboring a life inside of them, and the fat is not permanent. It’s not the end of the world.
“Don’t worry,” I say to the baby, tears gathering in my eyes. “I will never let anything happen to you, I swear. Some people may not want you, but they can go to hell for all I care. You still got a long way to go before you are out of there, but just know that I already love you.” I am now crying fully, gripping my stomach and tears sliding down my cheeks.
The eight-minute alarm clock goes off.
Oh my god.
I can’t see. I can’t look at it. I already know what it will say –Positive.
I grab the pregnancy test, my hand shaking madly. I have to but I can’t do it. But still, I grab my wand, this hand shaking even more.
Oh god, I’m going to have a heart attack.
I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it because I have to get this over with. Everything will be better once it’s over and the test flashes “Positive” like I know it will.
Just do this, Valentine.
Do it already.
Because it will all be over soon.
Holding my breath and swearing madly in my mind, I take the courage that being a Gryffindor gives me and tap the freaking stick.
No way. Is this serious? I tap it again.
Is thing even processing my pee right?
And then I get it –the pregnancy test slipping from my finger and my hands flying to hide my gaping mouth.
I’m not pregnant.
Oh my god.
I sit down on the toilet, trying to process what just happened. I’m not pregnant. I won’t have to quit school. My mum won’t kick me out or commit murder. I won’t get fat, and I’ll be able to be a normal, care-free teenager like I’m supposed to.
I’m not having a baby.
I sigh out the breath I had been holding and even more relief, letting the choked sobs from my chest come out. My life is not ruined. Everything will be okay again. I’m not having a baby.
Everything is okay.
It takes me a minute to realize that James is waiting outside the world, probably freaking out by how long I have been locked in here. Gasping for breath, I reach for the doorknob and pull the door open, revealing a very frightened James. He’s frozen on his spot, watching me carefully with a weird expression on his eyes. It’s as if he’s bracing himself at the possibility of having a child, but also really really hoping he won’t have to.
“Well?” He whispers, scared shitless.
I gaze into his eyes. I gaze into the eyes of my first time and showing a slight smile, I shake my head incessantly and jump into his arms.
James sighs out like a thousand galleons’ worth of relief and wraps his arms around me, welcoming the hug. In that hug we let out all the stress we had been under and the fear of becoming parents, and just melt into each other’s arms. I am not even thinking about the awkwardness between us anymore, but just that I’m not having a baby and we can both go back to being normal teenagers anymore.
And then as we pull away, he leans in to kiss me.
“Wait, stop.” I lean back and blink in shock. After everything we just went through, he was going to kiss me? “What are you doing?”
James nibbles on his lower lip like he always does when he’s nervous and then proceeds to grab my hand. I’m just watching him, scrutinizing his expression, confused beyond belief. “Valentine, I meant each and every thing I said to you that day. I know we should have waited. I really don’t know what happened and I agree it was a mistake but it was incredible. I just don’t think that because we got a little scared we should just drop everything, do you?”
I really don’t know. Everything is just swirling around me right now, and the fact that I’m not going to be a mother is taking up all the space in my thoughts. But there’s just something in James’ eyes that tell me that he’s not lying, and that he wants me.
He may even love me.
But I just hug him. “I just need some time,” I whisper into his ear, and he nods slowly. A pregnancy scare has already being too much, I don't really think I can take anything else right now.
But as holds me and I place my head in his neck, I know that I want him too. But I can’t do this right now. Especially now.