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Enemies with Benefits by dobbyismyhero22
Chapter 2 : Mistake Number Two
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 58

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Thank you so much dream_BIG for the incredible chapter image 

You know what the most annoying thing on the face of this earth is?


Like so bloody annoying that you’d rather squeeze lemon in a paper cut, chew on glass, or even see Filch naked just to get the hell away from it?


Well, yes, Fred Weasley, but that’s not what I’m talking about.


I’m talking about Tosh and his newest girlfriend talking ‘cutesie’ with each other.


By ‘cutesie’ I mean:


“No, you have the cuter nose!”


“No, you do!”


“No, you do!”


“We both have cute noses!”


“Yeah, but you have cuter ears!”


“No, you do-“


It’s an endless, aggravating cycle that never, ever ends, and I’ve just about had the end of it.


“WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I shrieked, throwing up my arms so fast in exasperation that my Potions essay, ink, and quill flew across the common room.


My spasm attracted the attention of the entire room. Tosh shot me a confused glare and his airhead girlfriend, Brittany Smith, looked highly affronted.


As if I could care. I’ve been a tad bit…testy after the broom closet incident, and I really didn’t need to be listening to my baby brother talking disgusting to his slag of the week.


“Merlin, Dess, what’s got your knickers in a twist?” Roxy asked me, grinning slightly.


I gave her one of my ‘scary scowls.’


Well, it’s not as much scary as it is constipated looking so she just giggled more.


She’s shaking on the inside. Trust me.


“Well, excuse me for not wanting to listen to my baby brother saying annoyingly cute and stupid things to his slag of the week!” I exclaimed.


Al, Scorpius, Weasley, and James smirked. Roxy and Rose laughed. Tosh on the other hand, was not as amused.


One, because I called him my baby brother, which he hates.


And two, because Brittany ran out of the room crying.


“First of all,” He said through clenched teeth as he stood up angrily, “ I am not your ‘baby’ brother. I am eleven months younger than you, for Merlin’s sake!”


“And second, just because you haven’t had a decent snog in over a year that doesn’t mean that he have to act like a bitter old cow whenever you see someone else having a relationship!” Tosh shouted before storming out of the room after Brittany.


Well, shit.


The room was absolutely silent.


Well, until James broke it…


“You haven’t snogged anybody since Adam dumped you?” James asked incredulously.


“Adam did not dump me. It was a mutual decision.” I told him, a blush forming slowly on my cheeks.


“Nah, I’m pretty sure he dumped you.” Logan Wood, James and Weasley’s other best friend, said, grinning.


Okay, okay, so the bloke dumped me.


You want to know why the arsehole dumped me?


Because I wouldn’t have sex with him.


That’s a classy person right there.


“Just because I’m not in a relationship at the moment that doesn’t mean that I haven’t snogged anybody recently!” I exclaimed indignantly.


Everybody looked incredibly surprised. Everybody except Weasley that is.


Why, why, do I insist on saying the dumbest shit possible ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.


“Who did you snog?!” Roxy asked in a high-pitched tone, her eyebrows raising.


“Yeah, Blazer, who did you snog?” Weasley asked me in an innocent voice, cocking his infuriating head to the side as if he was deeply interested.


Don’t open your mouth, Dessie. If you open your mouth, you’ll only say something incredibly stupid that will make you want to go jump off the astronomy tower later.


My lips were plastered shut, and I looked down, hiding my face with my mess of honey brown waves.


“Liar. She hasn’t snogged anybody.” James said confidently.


“I’m not lying!” I yelled.


Obviously, I hadn’t learned my idiotic lesson.


“Fine then, tell us who. Go on.” Logan said cockily, folding his arms across his chest, grinning.


Roxy was looking at me expectantly and Weasley was laughing as if the situation was the funniest thing in the universe.




I didn’t say anything once again, and smartly kept my mouth shut.


“If you actually snogged someone, then you’d tell us.” James said, raising an eyebrow.


And that is when I shot my plan of remaining quiet to hell.


“Well, maybe said person wasn’t worth mentioning because the snog sucked!” I proclaimed loudly.


First of all, I’m a moron for even opening up my mouth in the first place.


And second, I’m a liar because that snog with Weasley was probably the best in my life as much as I hate to admit it.


I mean, the bastard has talent.


So basically, I’m a lying moron.




Weasley stopped laughing. In fact, he looked pissed as hell.


“I bet you snogged like…Vinnie Goyle or someone like that, and you are just too embarrassed to admit it.” 


What is this? Pick on Dessie Day?


If it is, then I’m staying in my dorm next year.


And seriously? Vinnie Goyle? I swear to Merlin that that boy is part troll. He certainly smells like it.


“Or Danny McLaggen?” Logan snorted.


Barf in my mouth.


I’d make out with the giant squid before Danny McLaggen.


“Or Walter Readings?” 


“Or Julius Henderson?”


“Or Carl Smith?”


“Or Liam Yoder?”


Literally, all of my ‘friends’ were throwing out names of the grossest blokes in Hogwarts, even Roxanne! Isn’t she supposed to be on my side?!




“Oi! Shut the hell up!” I yelled, standing up furiously. Angry, hot tears were pouring down my face. “Just because I don’t want to tell you who I snogged, that doesn’t mean it never happened!” I shrieked a tad bit overdramatically.


James started to open his mouth to intervene, “AND IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I SNOGGED SOME PATHETIC, PIMPLY LOSER EITHER!” I screeched right in his face.


I’m pretty sure that I just made James Sirius Potter (AKA the savior of the wizarding world’s son) shit his pants in fear.


The room was absolutely silent.


And that’s when I made my brilliant exit to the girl’s staircase.


“I think she’s on her period.” James whispered, but I still heard it.


I clenched my wand, turned around, and aimed a nasty hex at the moronic boy that really didn’t know how to shut up.


But of course I missed, and hit a first year right in the face.



I was pacing around my dorm alone, like a maniac, for about three minutes when Weasley came crashing through the window on his broom.


My eyes widened, and I froze.


One, because he just scared me half to death.


Two, because it was the first time I had been alone with him since the snog.


Three, because he looked like he was about to murder someone.


And four, because he was coming towards me with a determined and angry look on his face.


He stopped right and front of me with his brows furrowed. I stared at him with confused eyes.


That’s when, completely out of nowhere, he attacked my lips with his own, and as much as I tried not to, I responded enthusiastically.


What can I say?


I’m an idiot teenage girl with hormones that couldn’t help snogging back an…attractive (GAG) bloke.


He placed his hands on my waist, and backed me up so I was at the foot of my bed.


Weasley pushed me down on my bed, and was lying on top of me while keeping his weight off by holding himself up with his well-toned arms. His lips fiercely forced open my own, and he deepened the kiss even more.


It seemed like the snog was never ending, but all I knew was that I wanted more of him. More of the kiss. More of the feeling.


My fingers knotted through his hair, and I pulled his face closer to my own. I felt him smirk against my lips, and then he abruptly pulled away leaving me breathless.


He rolled off me, adjusted his black tee shirt, and grabbed his broom. “Don’t ever insult my snogging skills again.” Weasley said sounding slightly amused.


That fucking arseholeic (yes, it is a word) bastard.


Before exiting out the window, he paused to look at me. I guarantee looked nothing short of furious and absolutely ridiculous. My hair was probably all over the place from Weasley’s hands running through them, my lips were most likely swollen, and my hazel eyes were smoldering.


I looked like a girl that was a) incredibly pissed, and b) freshly snogged, and freshly snogged well.


Weasley smirked, looking proud of himself, and then flew out the window.


Fucking tosser.

Guilt was never something that I was able to do with. Honestly, I could never even lie to my mum about doing simple arse chores around the house.


When I was six, I lost control of the magic that I didn’t even know I had, and I turned my dad’s favorite tie into a fork.


Tosh and Mason’s little kid magic was normal. Setting things on fire, controlling certain things with your mind unintentionally, and being able to jump a bit higher than the average muggle.


But no, my magic was seriously wonky. I somehow made all of my mum’s dresses to shrink to kid’s sizes. (She thought that she was getting fat, and then she forced my entire family to eat only vegetables and fruit for three months.) I turned my cousin, Greta, into a piece of gum. (I really have no idea how that even happened.) And I caused all of Tosh’s toy cars to turn into noodles.


I had issues. And it didn’t help that I started to show magic before Mason so the concept of witches and wizards was completely ridiculous to my religious, very muggle parents. They just thought I was insane.




I went to about seven different shrinks by the time I was eight.


But Mason eventually started showing signs of magic, and when he got his letter to Hogwarts, my parents were surprisingly thrilled. They thought it was absolutely bloody brilliant that they had an excuse for their children’s abnormalities.


But all of this is beside the point. The fact was that when I turned my dad’s tie into a fork, I got scared so I hid the fork in my sock drawer. Every night, I’d think about the fork in the drawer, and I’d have dreams about the fork stabbing me in the middle of the night.


It scared the shit out of me. Eventually, I broke down in hysterical tears, and told my daddy about what happened. He simply chuckled and muttered to my mum, “She sure has quite the imagination. I’ll bet she’ll be a brilliant artist.” Then he ruffled my hair, and ate some soup.


So long story short, I can’t handle guilt, and I have weird arse nightmares about forks attacking me when I feel it.


And since I felt guilty about causing Tosh and Brittany’s break up (No, the bimbo didn’t dump him. She was screaming at him, and when Tosh couldn’t handle the banshee like wails any longer, he just ended it.), and I felt guilty about snogging my best friend’s twin and my mortal enemy, I couldn’t sleep for shit.


Because I couldn’t fix the latter without wanting to drown myself in the Black Lake, I decided that I should go fix the former.


I quietly picked myself up off the floor. I couldn’t sleep in my bed because I’m ashamed and disgusted of what happened in it earlier today. When my roommates asked, I told them that my cat peed on my sheets.


I don’t even own a cat, plus I’m deathly allergic, but the gits seemed to buy it.


I tiptoed past Roxanne, who was currently snoring, and curled into a ball with her arse up in the air, and then past my other two best friend’s beds.


The left side of Heidi Scott’s face was smashed against her pillow, and a small pile of drool was forming at the corner of her mouth. Her usually sleek, gorgeous blonde hair was in clumps and tangles all over the place.


Sydney Collins was the only one that looked like she had some form of class. Her golden hair flowed down her back because somehow she managed to keep it looking perfect, even in her sleep, and her hands were folded delicately under her face.


I stepped on a loose floorboard, and literally, one miniscule, practically noiseless creak was enough to wake up Heidi. “Where are you going?” She asked accusingly, popping open a silver eye.


The girl was honestly the lightest sleeper in the entire world. It makes it complete shit to play pranks on her in the middle of the night. The only way we can get Roxy to wake up is if we yell, “PANCAKES!” at the top of our lungs, and even then sometimes we have to add in, “BACON!”


“To talk to Tosh,” I whispered knowing instantly that it was a bad idea when she completely perked up at the name.


You see, Heidi has a small obsession with my dear, dear brother. Or more like she creeps on him constantly. I honestly have no idea why, but she always looks like she wants to kill whatever girlfriend he is currently fucking. I think it might have something to do with the fact that Tosh and her had sex over the summer, and now she’s jealous, but she likes denying that lovely little fact.


What did I do when I found out that my best friend shagged my baby brother?


Gagged and then smacked said baby brother across the face.


“No.” I answered shortly.


“Why not?” She whined, when I started to walk away.


“Because most likely he’ll be shirtless, and I don’t want you to rape him because frankly, that would make me a bit uncomfortable.”


She scowled, flipped over in bed so that she wasn’t facing me, and then muttered, “Stingy bitch.”


I smirked and then descended the steps. I sprinted through the common room as fast as I could over to the boy’s staircase because the common room at night scares the shit out of me.


First of all, the house elves are occasionally cleaning, and they freak me out.


And second, it’s dark. I’m afraid of the dark.


I’m afraid of a lot of things, to be honest. I think that the sorting hat was high when it put me in Gryffindor.


I opened up the door labeled 6th Year. The room stank of arse and sneakers.


Pleasant is definitely not a word that I’d used to describe it.


Tosh’s bed was the one farthest away from me, and I quietly walked over to it, careful not to trip over the mess that was covering the floors.


He slept like a baby. He looked innocent as if he never shagged practically the world, played a prank, or mouthed off to a teacher. He looked sweet, which was something I rarely saw in Tosh.


I lifted up the covers, and crawled into bed with him like I did when we were kids. I placed my head in the crook of his neck, and he stirred slightly. “Dessie?” He murmured sleepily.


“I’m sorry.” I said, sincerely.


He started chuckling, and I looked at him confused. “You came all the way over hear to apologize? You act like I cared about her.” Tosh said laughing even harder.


“I felt guilty!” I whined, grimacing.


“The forks stabbing you again?” He questioned, smoothing my hair, and still laughing slightly.


I grunted in response, and then fell asleep.


I love my baby brother, I really do.

A/N: Oh hi! So I don’t even know how I pulled this chapter out of my ass cause I legit wrote almost all of it in one night. I guess I’m pretty pleased with it, I’m just kind of mad at myself that I didn’t make it a little bit funnier. Unless you guys thought it was funny? I didn’t too much, but maybe that’s just me.


Favorite quotes from this chapter? I love favorite quotes with a passion.


Please review because I also love reviews with a burning passion. 

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