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The Human Factor by SexyDoorFrames
Chapter 3 : The One With Rose Lollipop Weasley
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 47

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Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. If I did, Dishwasher would be king. I’d also be really rich and famous. That’d be nice. I don’t own Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum either.

Authors Note: Hello! How are you all? I hope you’re having a good day. Welcome to chapter three. I hope you like this chapter. It’s the next one I’m really excited about! We finally meet Cassie, Pippa’s best friend and the next chapter is important for the plot. There is no Albus in this chapter but fear not, he returns in the next chapter to annoy Pippa. There is now previews at the bottom of the chapter.

Thanks so much for your support so far. It means a lot to me!

Please review. Reviews are brain food and keep Pippa talking to me. I’d love to hear predictions on what is going to happen in later chapters. Plus, I’d love to hear what you think about Scorpius. He features a lot in this chapter. I'm doing things my way so I would love response on everything.

  There is bad language in this chapter. Pippa swears. Please don't read if you'll be offended by the word for a female dog :)

Thanks so much to StEpH_M for being my Beta :) It's much appreciated.


Chapter Three -
The One With Rose Lollipop Weasley

Beautiful Chapter Image By onlyInevitability@TDA.

“We’re creepy people, Pippa.” - Scorpius Malfoy

Damien bit into his raw carrot with a loud crunch.  “Will you just speak to her?” I frowned, he pouted.  “I mean, I don’t have any female friends to talk to her.” I snorted. Damien can only just about cope with one best friend, never mind two and a female at that . Damien is weird with his friendships. Either that or me and James are very demanding and take up all his time. This could be the case. “And you’re female.” He stared as me for several moments with a strange look in his eyes.  “Although, some people have tried to dispute that fact.”

“Watch it; I seem to be your only hope.” I warned as I spooned porridge in my mouth.

 “I know. I’m expecting pigs to fly at any moment.”  Damien muttered angrily to himself. He was usually too stubborn to ask for help; ah pride, why must thou be a hard up bitch?

“Pigs can fly.”  I rolled my eyes. “Do you not remember that time where Aunt Astoria charmed those pigs to chase mother?” I smiled slightly at the memory.

Damien paused for a moment until that light went on in his very small brain. “Yes! I remember mom almost having a mental breakdown at that one; she hasn’t been able to look at a bacon sandwich since.”  Damien demolished his carrot. “Will you help or not?” He leaned back on his chair to rest himself on the table. Damien was sitting at the Slytherin table in the great hall; I should have known he wanted something when he came over but at first I thought he just wanted to spend some time with his lovely sister.

Cough. Cough.

I scratched my chin. “What’s in it for me?” It wasn’t going to be an easy task and I do nothing for free.

“I’ll owe you one.” Damien waved his hand as if it was nothing.  I could make him do anything now.  He was a stupid boy sometimes.  Actually, he was a stupid boy all the time.

I smirked. “It’s a deal!”

Damien and I shook on it. He tried to yank my arm off and I tried crushing his fingers. That’s just how us Nott’s do a handshake.

 Now the only thing I had to do was actually follow through with his request. Damien had asked me to talk to the she devil that is Rose Weasley.  It was going to be awful. I could see it now, I’d play nice and she would try to curse me.  It’s pretty fair to say she doesn’t like me and the feeling is mutual.  It all started when I told Moaning Myrtle that Rose was gossiping about her. It was only supposed to be a joke but Myrtle took it all too seriously; Rose now has to go all out to avoid her otherwise Myrtle starts flooding all the bathrooms. I would never have done it if Rose wasn’t so boring and made me feel stupid in front everyone.

Little know it all.

“See you later, Pip.” Damien said before leaving me to go back to his table as I glared at him. I hated it when he called me Pip, which is why he calls me Pip.  

That’s right Damien, get what you want and go. No time for that sibling bonding thing. Which now that I think about, it is good that he left . The very idea of sibling bonding makes me feel sick.  I mean me and Damien working together? We’d probably kill each other or I’d kill him.  Either way, some murder would be going down.

Ah, that’s sibling love for you.

I returned to eating my porridge, which was now cold. I looked around the room trying to find the joy that is Rose Weasley. I couldn’t spot her, either she wasn’t here yet, which was practically impossible or had already been, which was highly probable.

“Hello cousin!” Scorpius said dreamily as he slid into a seat next to me.  I looked around to see if he was talking to anyone else, nope, I wasn’t that lucky.

“Scorpius!” I hissed. “Not so loud!”

“Was I speaking loud? Funny…I didn’t realize.” Scorpius sighed. Sometimes, I still can’t believe I was related to this idiot. I tend not to broadcast it, even though I’m sure people realize. “I woke up this morning to find I had one of my socks missing…did you take it? The one with the happy snowman on them?”

“Why would I take your sock?” I lied. I had taken it as I knew the happy snowman were his favourite pair of socks in the world and I was bored. I would hold on to it until I needed something from him.

 “Because you’ve been avoiding me since the cupboard fiasco of last week?”

“Scorpius, I’m always avoiding you.”  

“Really?” Scorpius frowned.  He looked like he was going to cry for a moment before he shook his head. “Oh I get it now! That was sarcasm wasn’t it?”


“You’re doing that whole sarcasm thing again! Oh, Pippa, you are funny.” He was laughing hysterically by then. I didn’t get the joke.  He then began choking on his toast and I had to hit him hard on the back. Stupid cousin trying to choke himself to death; It’s such an inconvenience. Once Scorpius life was no longer in danger, he decided to speak.  “What are you doing on this fine Saturday morning?”

If he suggests us to do something together, I will push him off his chair. “I have to go and stalk out Rose to find out why she isn’t talking to Damien.”  I grimaced; I shouldn’t have told him that. 

“Really?” I waited for it. “Can I come?” There it was.




“Pretty please?”



“Because you’re annoying.”

“So are you!” Scorpius retorted. “I’m coming. I don’t care what you say Pippa, let’s go on anadventure.”  He stood up to make his point; I yawned. “Come on!” He poked me in the arm. “Adventure time!”

I didn’t like the sound of that but I followed him anyway. I might as well as get this over and done with. You never know, Scorpius might be some help. I doubted it but it could be possible.

“If I was Rose Weasley? Where would I be?” Scorpius mused to himself as he paused for a moment before answering his own question. “Up her own ass probably.” He joked. I almost laughed.


“Shall we try outside?” I suggested.

Scorpius nodded. “Good idea.” He gave me the thumbs up. The boy is so lame.

Scorpius and I walked around outside on the castle grounds for a while before we found her. She was reading; well I suppose she was a Ravenclaw for a reason. Plus, I don’t think she has any friends. I have never seen her with another human being that wasn’t her family.

 I was going to go straight up and talk to her. But this was Rose Weasley. She was evil. Rose was a lot taller than me, but so were a lot of people. She had toffee brown eyes, but so did a lot of people. One of the most original things Rose has ever done is dye her hair blonde. Red was the norm in her family, shades varying depending on the gene pool. Hers was originally a carrot colour and I think she always hated it, I mean why else would you change it? One term she just returned with blonde hair and a killer bitchy attitude. It was a lightish somewhat dirty blonde, unlike mine which was an golden blonde and Scorpius’ whose hair was so bright, if you stared at it for too long, it hurts your eyes. 

 Rose wrinkled up her nose. I think she felt our presence. Panic rose inside me thinking that she might see me.

So for some reason, I dived into bush. Scorpius the sheep dived straight in after me.

“Why did you dive into a bush?” Scorpius whispered with a confused look upon his face.

“I’m trying to fine tune my plan of action.” I lied as I tried not to imagine the germs crawling on my skin. I was going to be okay once I showered. I just had to breathe and focus on the task at hand and not the germs.

“What’s your plan of action?” He asked interested and buying the lie.

“Just go over and talk?” I shrugged.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. “That’s not a proper plan Pippa.” Scorpius picked a thorn from his hair. He glared at the tiny thorn before flicking it at me.  “Out of all the bushes we dive into, we dive into a thorn bush. What are the odds?” Scorpius mused before chuckling to himself.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s us.” Scorpius smiled. “It would have been weirder if this plan had gone smoothly.” I picked a thorn from my hair and my butt.

“True.” He agreed. Scorpius and I had been involved in many plans together and I couldn’t remember a single one that turned out perfectly. Even if it was something as simple as stealing cookies from the kitchen. The plan went something like this, Damien would always be on the lookout for pesky parents; I would be in charge of climbing up on the counter then grabbing the cookies from the cupboard and Scorpius job was to catch the cookie jar after I had grabbed it so I could climb down.

 I always got the crappiest jobs because I could fit into small places and I was a good climber. Also Scorpius was afraid of heights and Damien was still traumatized from when he got his hand stuck in the railings outside our house; he thought he was going to lose his hand and I was too busy laughing at him to help him out.

The ending of this plan went a bit like this, Damien yelled that our parents we’re coming, I panicked and fell off the counter with the cookies onto a frail Scorpius.  The cookie jar bashed him in the eye and he elbowed me in mine. That was the week we both had black eyes and pretended to be pandas.

Scorpius hummed happily to himself. “So why are we stalking Rose?” I opened by mouth to argue but Scorpius carried on. “I mean, I thought the whole original point of this was to just talk to Rose but we seem to be in a bush just watching her.” Scorpius shuddered. “We’re creepy people, Pippa.”

“We’re not stalking Rose.” I told him, shrugging off the rest of his comments. I was not creepy. Sure, I was watching Rose but for a reason; I was waiting to make my move.

Okay, that sentence just made me out to be the lord of the creepers.

“Okay, why are we doing intense individual research on Rose?” Scorpius looked proud of himself. He reminded of when Lucie caught his first mouse. Lucie or Lucifer Bobbins Nott is my ugly, fat tabby cat. He’s evil. He loves me, he hates Damien. That’s just the way the world rolls on its axis. I also have Binksy, my other cat but he stays at home because Mom over feeds him and he misses that too much. Plus he doesn’t like people and with the amount of people in Hogwarts, he almost had a cat breakdown.  “I mean, couldn’t we have picked a more interesting person? Rose is about as fun as wet fish.”

“It’s Damien fault; not mine.”

“Why does Damien care so much?” Scorpius asked, interested and I decided to divulge him with an answer.

“It’s Damien.” I stated simply thinking that would end it but Scorpius still seemed confused so I continued. “Damien can’t stand anyone being mad at him.” I told Scorpius in a ‘duh’ tone. He’s only known Damien for 16 years; he should know this simple crap about him by now. I did.

“Why are you helping him?” Scorpius asked, again. He was irritating me now.

Breathe in, breathe out, Pippa.

“I had nothing better to do plus, I can use this to my advantage when I want something later.”

“That’s very clever of you…I’m quite surprised that you managed to think of that.” Scorpius grinned as I scowled.

“I am clever Scorpius.” I told him and he snorted. Scorpius face crunches up when he snorts; it isn’t the most appealing look he’s got going on. “Alright, so I agreed to talk to one of my enemies for my brother and I may get killed in the process and-”

“It’s okay to have enemies you know.” Scorpius said in a mystical voice or at least I think that is what he was trying to attempt. It was actually more like his normal voice with a bit of a growl.  I raised my eyebrows at him as I waited for whatever advice was about to come out of his mouth. That’s the trouble with Scorpius; you never know what he is going to say. “Just having enemies means you stood up for something…or that you’re just a big fat bitch who no one likes.” Scorpius pondered his ‘wisdom’. “Though, I think you’re the latter.”

I grabbed his hair and pulled.

He yelped.

I let go.

“Think about your next words carefully”

“Gosh, Pippa, you are an angry midget.” He cursed.  “I didn’t mean the fat part cause you’re not fat.” It’s good to know that you think that cousin. “You’re not big either, in fact you’re tiny.” His eyes widened. “You haven’t grown since we’re ten!” Actually, I haven’t grown since I was fourteen. “Have you got a problem?” He whispered, as if he might offend me. He did but for entirely different reasons.

“I haven’t got a problem with growing Scorpius.” I hissed. “I am just short.”

“ sucks to be you.”

“It’ll suck to be you too in a minute.” I threatened.

Scorpius ruffled my hair like he used to do when I got upset at something when I was little. “And well, the no one likes you part…that is sort of true.” He shrugged, “Sorry, Pippa but you’ve managed to offend a lot of people.” I couldn’t argue with that. I seemed to have a knack for annoying people. Oh and upsetting them but that’s a whole different thing. “I like you though, if that means anything to you?”

“That means nothing to me.” I told him and in response, Scorpius flicked me in the forehead. How can I be related to this loser when I’m so cool? “But it’s okay, Scorpius, I know that I haven’t got a fan club or anything.”

“You’re close to getting one though I think the ‘I hate Pippa Nott club’ will be created soon.”

“That would be awesome.” I grinned manically with wide eyes.

Scorpius shook his head. “I wonder for your sanity sometimes…”

“So do I, but since I question having my sanity it means I still have it.” I told him and Scorpius gave me an odd look so I explained. “If I was insane, I wouldn’t realize it.”

“Oi! Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum!” Rose yelled at us. I looked at Scorpius and he looked just as confused as I was. Who the hell are Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum? I don’t know whether to be offended or not. I mean, are Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum two hot blondes? Cause if so, she’s complimenting us! She looks really angry though, so maybe not. Hmm, I’ll have to ask Cassie about who they are later. “Why are you stalking me?”

Scorpius coughed. “We weren’t stalking you Weasley.” She didn’t believe him. “We were watching you.” Rose looked like she believed that. “There is a difference.”

“I don’t think there would be in the eyes of the law Malfoy.”  Her eyes glinted in the light with a spark of evilness. 

So Rose was threating us with the law. I’d like to say that was new to me, but it wasn’t. I’m the grandchild of a Death Eater and Scorpius father was a Death Eater, who is also my uncle. We’d be so screwed; no one would believe us over Miss Moody over there.  It turns out she might just have a personality but I was wary. Once a wet fish, always a wet fish in my opinion.

“Psh.” Scorpius wasn’t taking her seriously and neither was I. “You may be a Ravenclaw, but I’m a Slytherin.”

“Evil is our middle name, do you want to mess with evil, Rose?” I didn’t like calling her Rose because I didn’t like her name or her. It just seemed like a first name argument but believe me, my mouth is burning from saying a name that is so sweet sounding. I wouldn’t be surprised if her middle name was lollipop or something.

“No it isn’t.” Rose snorted as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Nott, yours is Astoria.” Oh, wasn’t Rose Lollipop Weasley clever?  “And Malfoy? Yours is Hyperion.”

 I couldn’t help but laugh. Scorpius seriously got the bad end of the middle name stick. I was named after my awesome aunt or as Scorpius calls her ‘mum’.

 “Who is stalking who now?” Scorpius asked.  “Because I sure as hell don’t know your middle name.”  I’ll tell him about Lollipop later. “Creeper!” He pointed at her. It’s a good job she wasn’t exactly near us because he would have jabbed out her eye. “Creeper!” He repeated to get his point across.

“Alright Scorpius, chill your chilli.” He was getting slightly embarrassing now but this was Scorpius I was talking about; he is the epitome of embarrassing. “I’ll sum this up for you, I’m a creeper, Scorpius is a creeper and you’re a creeper.  We’re all creepers.”  Scorpius and Rose both looked offended.  “Anyway, the reason we’re wasting our Saturday here is because of Damien.”

“Damien?” Her interest perked. If my brother has any romantic connection to this girl, I will feed myself to the giant squid then if I don’t die, I’ll throw myself off the astronomy tower. Though I reckon the first would probably be enough to kill me; I can’t swim. I asked my dad to take me to the local Muggle pool  so I could learn, but because I wasn’t showing much magical ability, in fact I showed none my dad thought I’d catch Muggle. Even though that was impossible. He was so  happy when it turned out I wasn’t a squib. So was I to be honest.

“Yes, Damien. My brother from the same mother. He’s tall and he once had a huge marble collection which used to bug me so much because he would always lose his marbles and not in the good way either.”

“What did he want?” Rose cut me off clearly annoyed.

“He thinks you’re upset with him, is there any truth in it?” I felt like a grown up. I was talking things through like a mature human being.

“Why would I tell you?” She was being pompous. It wasn’t actually like I wanted to know; I didn’t want to know anything about who is upsetting who. I didn’t actually care.

“Because Damien asked me to ask you.”  I barked at her. “I don’t actually give a crap. So has he irritated you or not?”

“No, he hasn’t irritated me.” She was miffed though; clearly at me, since she wasn’t mad at Damien. “You have though.”

“Don’t be rude.” Scorpius butted in rudely. His innocence and youth that clung to him had evaporated in a giant black smoke of rage. “Pippa is just trying to help out Damien; you don’t need to be a big bitch about it Weasley.” He spat. The sunny boy had turned into a savage who wasn’t taking any prisoners. “You could have just answered yes or no. It’s not hard.” He was on fire now; a switch had flicked inside his brain, from normal to psycho. It was both fascinating and scary at the same time. Though I wasn’t scared of Scorpius; I could never be. “But no. Everyone thinks you’re nice, but I think you’re a bitch.”  

 Rose didn’t respond, she couldn’t respond, I think she was too much in shock. I also would have chucked in something witty but found it impossible for words to leave my mouth; this was a new sensation and one I wouldn’t like to repeat ever again. Being speechless kind of sucks.

I had never seen Scorpius angry like this; in fact I had never seen Scorpius angry.  Scorpius was a glass half full person, optimism and life radiated from those grey eyes. Scorpius managed to own rooms without trying, he was like moth to a flame; you just radiated to him. We were the opposites of the magnet, he attracted and I repelled. I was a dull grey and Scorpius was all the colours of the rainbow. Right now, he was a shade of violent red and for a moment, I was blinded by the boy, no the man, I grew up with.

“So get the hell of your high horse Weasley and get over yourself.”  Scorpius finished, uncurling his pale fist.

Rose was flushed red with rage. I thought a full blown rant was coming Scorpius way but all she managed was three words.  “Piss off Malfoy.” Scorpius had seemed to of got her where it had hurts; I was proud of him. It took skill to find someone’s weaknesses quickly and figure out which was the biggest one. Rose stood there, her blonde hair whipping wildly in the wind. Her eyes flamed with resentment and something else…anguish? I don’t know and I didn’t care enough to find out.

Scorpius’ smirk faltered into a smile.  “That’s fine; I’ll do it with pleasure.” Scorpius linked my arm. I tried to unlink my arm but Scorpius was surprisingly strong so I gave up. Scorpius stared at her one last time with malice. “Leave my family alone; Damien included.” He then dragged me off, leaving Rose Lollipop Weasley feasting in her own anger. She was most certainly eating a full course meal.

What the hell had just happened? I wondered whether I was inside some parallel world. These things just didn’t happen. This wasn’t my life. This couldn’t be my life.

This was carelessness.

This was cluttered.

It wasn’t organised.

It was hell.

“What the hell was that?” I asked once we were out of sight as I stared at my cousin; if that’s who he actually is. It struck me that he was breaking out of his bright, shiny box that I stuck him in many years ago. It seemed that people we’re being confusing lately. They were acting out from the norm; it filled me with dread, uncertainty and anger. People needed to stop messing with the flow; they needed to stop making things messy.

But then, just like that, my Scorpius returned with a smile on his angelic face. “It just annoyed me she was being like that to you.” He shrugged like it was nothing. “That’s all.” He was back to being in high spirits; he was humming happily to himself.

I eyed Scorpius suspiciously. “Why though?” I wondered whether he wanted something from me; people were only nice to me when they wanted something. It had made me harbour a lot of distrust for random niceness.

Plus, I learned how to take care of myself from an early age so I always gave the impression that I didn’t need anyone to stick up for me, I could fight my own battles…I still felt like that. I was never going to become one of those pathetic people who needed others to live.

“You’re family.” He told me, which was accompanied by his trademark crooked grin.  It was two words but it seemed to shake something inside me. I had spent hours inside my head denying that I was related to him many times but he seemed accepted it so easily. We were cousins; that was fact.

I didn’t understand how; I knew I wasn’t the easiest person to be related to most of the times. Well, all of the time really. I was often foul, snarky, cynical and sarcastic who had a habit of pissing people off. That was me; I was okay with that, it just seemed that no one else was.

 I knew it wouldn’t last but for that single moment, I was proud that Scorpius was my family.

Not that I’d ever admit that to him or anything.


That thought would die with me and never leave my lips.  I would never animate those words with speech.  

I did punch him on the arm though.

Scorpius rubbed his arm. “Ow. That hurt.” He joked. “You need to work on your punch.”

“I don’t fight with my fists.”

“You fight with your mind?” Scorpius suggested.

“I’m not telepathic.”

“That is a pity, it would have been helpful.” Scorpius grumbled. “I hope it is lunch time. You want to come check it out?” He wanted to spend more time with me. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t my world.

I tugged at the arm that was linked with Scorpius.

Let me go.

“No, I’m not hungry.” I lied because suddenly I felt jumpily. My agitation was obvious but Scorpius chose to ignore it. Perhaps he was used to it or perhaps he was just blind. But it didn’t matter because my mind was focused on the escape.

I needed to run. I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly but my lungs were working perfectly. My head was fuzzie and the world suddenly seemed smaller. It was coming closer; it was suffocating me.

I tugged at my clothes.

“I’m just going to go back to my dorm and get started on my homework.” I told him. I wasn’t sure how I was getting these words out. Scorpius raised his eyebrow but dropped his arm from mine anyway.

“That’s alright.” Scorpius seemed to accept my reasoning easily. “I’ll see you later, Pippa.”


I watched him stroll away, perfectly alright with his own company. I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. I wanted to shed. I needed to start anew. I waited until he was out of sight before running.

I ran as if my life depended on it. I noticed no one else; they were invisible to me. No one but me existed. I loved running; I felt like a butterfly taking its first flight every time I ran.

I ran until I reached my dormitory. It was my fake home that I was stuck in for a lot of the year. It was often absent of my presence. My bed was placed in the corner; it was out of the way. It was mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

There was something wrong with my corner. Something was a miss.

A school book on my bedside table was crooked.

I didn’t leave it like that.

I placed it on my book pile, making it align with the others.

Everything was okay again.

I could breathe.

For the moment.


Next time on The Human Factor

“Hello Damien.”  I scowled at him, as Cassie started helping herself to Gryffindor toast. I whacked it out of her hands. “Gryffindor toast is bad.” I told her as she wrinkled up her nose in fury.

“What’s the worst that can happen? I get a big head and a desire to save people?” She looked at the toast with disgust.  “Actually, I’m not very hungry.”  I had put her off Gryffindor toast. My nice deed was done for the day.  The Gryffindor’s at the table were glaring at me and Cassie but I ignored them and Cassie seemed to be in a world of her own so she hadn’t even noticed.

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