Chapter 1 : The Tragic Lives of Sixteen Unremarkable Teens and their Sorrows
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Anyway, so then the first year, Victoire enters Hogwarts, and just about everyone falls at her feet, wanting to marry her because she is so beautiful. Nevermind that she’s really probably only like one-sixteenth Veela by now, since her mother was only part-Veela. But in the end, after much thought on Victoire’s part, she decided she was only ever going to love Teddy Lupin. It wasn’t because everyone thought they were perfect for each other or anything, since Teddy R. Lupin could change his appearance in any way he wished, therefore making himself irresistible to Victoire, and he was thus able to rival her in his handsome good looks. They also couldn’t deny the irresistible chemistry between them as they stole heavy snogs at Platform 9 and ¾ when the entire family was distracted because of all the cameras flashing in their faces even after nineteen years. They were so obviously blinded, and it was all too easy to sneak away.
Next, James Potter the Second decided to grace Hogwarts with his presence, because he was oh-so-much like his namesake, the FIRST James Potter, and was a playboy. Never mind that this was actually describing Sirius Black, and not James Potter because James Potter, though undeniably super hot and one of the most attractive blokes at Hogwarts during his time, was actually only ever in love with one woman. But that obviously doesn’t matter. James Potter the Second always gets what he wants, because he’s the Chosen One’s first born son, and therefore is super rich, gorgeous, and popular in every single way. Pay no attention to the fact that his parents were never described as incredibly gorgeous. Ahem… again, moving on. James is also the Gryffindor star seeker, and he’s much better than his father at the position he plays. He ALWAYS catches the Snitch, and he was made Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team in first year, because, well, he’s just that good. It’s obvious, really. He actually already had offers from major league Quidditch Teams BEFORE he even went to Hogwarts. It’s what he was born to do with his life. Also, he is off and dating the most popular girl at the school, who also might be part Veela, and has absolutely no substance to her. Well, that is, he dates her up until just about his Sixth Year when he meets the girl he’s supposed to be with forever. She’s unpopular, but he takes notice of her when he’s trying to make his usual on-and-off girlfriend Cassiopeia (not Cassie, because she hates any nicknames on her obviously perfect name) jealous. Then she pushes him away saying that he could never love a girl like her, and he’s just pretending and needs to return to Cassiopeia. (Did we mention that in the background sub-plot of the story, Cassiopeia is actually blackmailing the girl James loves, and she has something that could make James’ life a living hell so the wallflower girl with no real name does it out of her love for James) Eventually, of course, James wins back Wallflower Girl with his sincere declarations of love and says he doesn’t care what Cassiopeia does, and then they get married. They could possibly still be underage, who knows? It’s true love after all.
Oh and then Molly the Second comes to school, but we don’t pay much attention to her. She’s too stuck up and she’s PERCY’S offspring, so she’s clearly not all that important and doesn’t really have any personality except for the being pompous and snooty just like her father. Not to mention she’s also the Head Girl, duh. So, we’ll skip her.
Also, we’re not going to talk much about Fred the Second Weasley either. He’s just hilarious. That’s really all you need to know. Also, he and James the Second also have taken up James’ namesake’s love of pranking and are the new Weasley “twins” at Hogwarts. *gasp!* *runs off with plot bunny involving James the Second and Fred the Second actually being twins for no apparent reason, no matter how impossible it is* (Look for that one, coming to you soon in the harrypotterfanfiction.com archives!)
We could spent a bit of time however, on Lucy Weasley. She’s actually very confused you see. She wants to be like her obnoxiously perfect sister Molly the Second Weasley, but she can’t ignore the goth-like tendencies she has, especially after she was Sorted in Slytherin, and once Percy (and Audrey too, since she does whatever Percy does, a.k.a. she doesn’t have her own personality) disowned her, she began to go heavy on the dark makeup and tattooed herself everywhere. She’s snarky, and won’t tolerate being told what to do, and is now the Queen of Slytherin. All bow down. Hey you! In the back row, yeah, you know I’m talking to you, I said BOW to the Queen of Slytherin. No? Guards, take him away to the Pit of Snakessss.
The year after The Queen of Slytherin arrives at school, Hogwarts is in for a real treat! Because, you see, there are… *counts on hand* FOUR hero children coming to school this year! Oh wait… scratch that… one of them is Scorpius Malfoy, an obvious bad-egg already just because of his last name. Anyway, this year we have Rose Weasley, Albus Potter, Dominique Weasley, and yeah, that one bad-egg kid. Erm, moving on. See, Ron Weasley told Rose not to get involved with that Scorpius boy, and to beat him on every test. Which, since she’s a complete and total Daddy’s Girl, she does. When Scorpius finally beats her on a test, she bawls her eyes out in front of him and asks him why he can’t just let her win. She can’t disappoint her dad, and if she doesn’t beat him at everything, Ron will probably kick her out/disown her/hate her/be extremely disappointed/never forgive her. Once she gets embarrassed for crying in front of the enemy like she did, and her entire face erupts in flames, matching her untamable fiery red hair that she hates with a burning passion, Scorpius declares her to be the most beautiful girl in the world and snogs her senseless.
“Scorpius,” Rose cries. “What have we done? My father will never love me again! I’ve just kissed the enemy’s son! And I want to do so much more….”
“Really?” Scorpius asks, his cold-grey eyes growing warm at the sight of his beautiful Rose Weasley.
“Yes, like get married and have ten children!” Rose exclaims as if it’s the most obvious thing ever.
“OMG, Rosie, you read my mind!” Scorpius says, and snuggles closer to her. He doesn’t have the normal teenage guy hormones that would usually make him think on a much different line with what Rose just said.
And then, to add salt into the wound, or however the saying goes… no wait, the one I’m looking for is to make matters worse, *insert a dun-dun-dun here please* (because I really don’t know how to put in the appropriate phrases and think they all just mean the exact same thing) ROSE WEASLEY FINDS OUT LATER AFTER DOING THE NASTY WITH SCORPIUS MALFOY THAT SHE’S PREGNANT. She sobs for a little while, not understand how this could have happened (never mind that she’s the top in all her classes or Hermione will disown her). She decides to hide it from everyone, but then this really mean girl (can we use Cassiopeia again? I rather liked her… plus then I don’t have to think up characterization for yet ANOTHER really bitchy girl who really has no reason to be this bitchy) named Cassiopeia swoops in and finds out Rose is pregnant and blabs it to the world, including Scorpius. The End. There’s not really a good conclusion to that story. Oh, well, here’s one—Ron indeed kicks Rose and Scorpius out on their butts and Hermione gets mad at Ron for that and leaves him (only they reunite after Ron has seen the error of his ways). Then Scorpius can’t find a job because of who he is (a Malfoy, in case you forgot) and Rose and him live in poverty until their baby is born and then Ron sees his granddaughter/grandson and melts instantly. He lets both Rose and Scorpius live together, unwed, in his house for the rest of their lives after that and they lived Happily Ever After.
Then there’s Albus Potter who, as soon as he gets up on the stool to be Sorted, the hat screams out, “SLYTHERIN!” and he starts to have a panic attack as all the Slytherins of this generation start hissing at him and beckoning for him to join them on the Dark Side. He will probably become the next Voldemort, because he’s the Chosen One’s son. It makes perfect sense, and then Harry will become so overcome with grief that his son has become the new Dark Lord that he will die. So he joins the Slytherin House, and all his fears from the Platform have become reality. (Will things ever look up for our desolate hero—err next Master of the Dark Arts…*cough*?)
Also, everyone constantly stares at Albus wherever he goes because he has Harry’s green eyes. One kid even goes up to him and draws a lightning bolt on his forehead, so that there is nothing different about him and his father. Whenever he walks into a room everyone shushes up and starts whispering. This bothers Albus Severus Potter so much, he’s likely to pull a Carrie on the entire Hogwarts student body before he leaves school.
Dominique Weasley has gender issues because most people portray her as a girl, but there are a couple stories out there that make her a boy, and she just has no idea who is she at the moment. However, whoever she is, she decides she really wants Scorpius Malfoy and is his girlfriend until he hooks up with Rose and gets her pregnant. Then she gets pregnant as well. She’s also really, really gorgeous because again, like Victoire, she’s part Veela, and one-sixteenth Veela is still enough to make you drop dead gorgeous.
Finally, we have the last of the Next Generation coming to Hogwarts, but they aren’t as cool/popular. That’s because they aren’t the first coming and they also don’t look like The Chosen One and/or end up getting pregnant by their supposed worst enemy. By this time, everyone’s pretty sick of the famous children, and they just ignore all of these people, except maybe Lily the Second Potter.
She doesn’t really have a definitive personality; just that she’s always in love with Scorpius and hates Rose and Dominique for dating him. She looks and acts just like Ginny Weasley. She’s also best mates with Hugo Weasley.
Hugo Weasley on the other hand is just generally disliked. Nobody wants to write about him because they plain and simply don’t like him. He’s just… pushed away, far, far away, in hopes that he can be forgotten. Please. He’s also best mates with Lily the Second Potter.
Finally, there is Louis, Roxanne and the Scamander Twins. Louis and Roxanne also don’t really get written about much because they don’t have really complicated love lives or prophecies that involve them and could change the entire Wizarding World if they were to come true. However, Louis is either Hogwarts’ resident pretty boy, and all the younger (and older!) birds are all over him just like they were James the Second Potter, or he’s gay. The End. Roxanne Weasley is a tough, black girl who obviously has never had anything handed to her in her entire life, and therefore has had to overcome the obstacles life has thrown her however she can. It’s usually by punching everyone she meets to make them fear her.
I have a question—do we even really need to talk about the Scamander twins? I feel as if by talking about them I’ll have the sudden urge to believe in Nargles. OMG I SEE THEM, DON’T YOU?!?! (Never mind that J.K.R. says that Luna probably calmed down some after Hogwarts and doesn’t necessarily believe in all the things she once did as a Hogwarts student.) Anyway, since I’m already seeing the Nargles, we might as well get on with it. The Scamander twins are… just…. Weird. And they go around Hogwarts pointing out things that aren’t really there, just like their mother always did. I also have a sneaking suspicion that they can also see Theastreals even though they haven’t actually seen death—just because they are the offspring of Luna. Anyway, most of the next generation children try and avoid them as much as possible, except for maybe Lily the Second Potter, after she realizes she will never have Scorpius and settles for *either* twin. Sometimes both.
Tune in next time to this sneak peek! (But to be completely honest, I’ll probably just forget about this entire story and not ever update it because I, like, only have the patience to complete, like, one chapter of my fic!)
“Scorpius, I’ve found this conveniently placed Time-Turner in which we can go back to the Marauder Era time and get confused about whom we’re supposed to love and then there ends up being a vicious plot in which everyone is somehow involved and nobody will know what to do!” Rose exclaims happily.
“That’s wonderful, darling!” Scorpius says, clearly still smitten with Rose.
A/N-- Okay, so did you die? I know I almost did and I was the one writing it. Nevertheless, it was great fun, and was very theraputic for me because I got out all (okay, well most...*walks off in shame* Oh wait, I'm supposed to finish this A/N first...) frustration of all the cliches presented in Next Gen. fics. Leave me a review to tell me how utterly awful it was? Muchas Gracias!
*** I also do not claim any ownership to the characters J.K. Rowling created nor do I own any ownership over Stephen King's character and plotline, Carrie. ***