Chapter 4 : Crazy thoughts
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A/N: This was probably one of the hardest, but best chapters to write. I love this one. Please enjoy, and Review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter. But I do have some awesome ideas that come up in this story :)
Hermione's Point of view
I try to give Ron time alone with his family, but he insists on bringing me along with him to pay respect to Fred with the rest of them. I would of course have done it alone because I'm still not used to how the Wizarding community did funerals. When I was little I went to a few for distant family members it seemed a lot more personal. What I mean is, it was only family. Here there seemes to be everybody. Ron clearly really needs me with him now, as my hand feels like it's getting a bit crushed by his. I can see tears constantly going down his face as he has his arm around his mother who is crying into his chest. All in all though, even with all the grief around me, wizarding funerals (of the one I went to for Dumbledore) have a more sociable feel to it. Not that it isn't personal to the people closest to the ones who died, but everybody is going to each other to console, and cry, and laugh of memories with each other.
“Are funerals usually like this Ron?”
“What do you mean?” Sniff.
“ I mean, it seems that everyone is looking out for each other, to make sure they're ok. Not just family. And-”
A loud bang interrupted my train of thought, and we see fireworks shooting off in all directions.
“George!!!!” We hear Mrs. Weasley yelled, even while stuffed up.
Ron takes one look at George, and puts his hand on his mom's shoulder to get her attention. We look over and expect to see George cowering from Mrs. Weasley or laughing at his joke, but instead, he's oblivious to her and everyone. He, Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, and Oliver Wood are all looking up to the sky with wistful smiles on their faces. Tears going down their cheeks.
“WWWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” I gave a start and bounce Teddy up and down and put a muffliato charm around him to dull the sound of the fireworks. I'll never be more greatful to that stupid Potions book from 6th year. Teddy is loud. Loud enough to snap me out of the curious mood I'm in.
“Shhh, Teddy, it's alright. See? It's just pretty lights. Shhh.” He thankfully quiets down and soon starts to enjoy himself. I'm glad I'm looking after Teddy for Andromeda while she goes to Tonks, and Lupin's grave by herself for a while. I think it's the least I can do, Harry and Ginny are busy going all around to everyone else' graves and families. McGonagall and Shacklebolt both thought it was a better idea to put a small memorial/graveyard at Hogwarts for those who died in the battle, so my friends aren't too far away. I'm not sure how to react to all the grief around me, so I busy myself with Teddy and make sure he doesn't fuss. I can't blame him for not loving the noise. Watching the fireworks is actually a good excuse to think about a bunch of different things while looking like I'm staring at them. I hold Teddy closer to me and start thinking about my parents, and Crookshanks. I want nothing more right now than to be with them, to make sure they were ok. I wonder if Teddy ever thinks the same way about his parents. I give him a small kiss on the head, and he looks up and gurgles at me. "I know I have to go soon, within the next couple of days even. Right Teddy?" He pulls on my hair in response, "Oww, Oww, Teddy. Teddy, let go of Aunt Hermione's hair... Owwww..." I turn around on the spot trying to loosen Teddy's grip. I'm lucky no one is paying any attention to me right now, I must look ridiculous.
When I finally get Teddy to stop, I stop spinning and all of a sudden I see Professor McGonagall rushing over in the direction of Harry and Ginny, looking frazzled. Professor McGonagall NEVER looks frazzled. That pulls me from my thoughts like nothing could have. Even Teddy pulling my hair. I've never seen her like this before. She stops, catches her breath, and tells them whatever her news is. Now Harry's jaw drops. Ginny put her hand to her mouth. What in the name of Merlin? It's a good thing they're in between people that they've been talking to, or else this would be really awkward. What is up... ?
“Oh, Hermione, thank you so much for watching him,” Andromeda says from behind me. I jump, but immediately adjust seeing that her eyes are red from crying. “I think we'll head back up to the castle for a nap now...” Before I know it they're both gone, and both Harry and Ginny are rushing over to me and Ron. I'm so confused right now. Not that I'll tell Ron that.
I pulled on Ron's shirt, “Ron, something's up, look at Harry and Ginny”
“What? Oh, yeah, what the heck could be happening? Lets go meet them half way."
He taps Mrs. Weasley on the shoulder, "Mum, sorry, but I need to go see what's up.”
“Alright, as long as you tell me what it is later dear, love you,” she says with tears still in her eyes.
He chuckles slightly, “I love you too mum. I will, bye.” He kisses her head, and quickly blows his nose, and we rush over. “Harry, Ginny, what the bloody hell--?”
“Sorry we have to interrupt Ron, but there's someone McGonagall wants us to meet. She knew Sirius,” says Harry, breathless from racing over.
“But don't we already know everyone in the Order?”
“I don't think that's what he means Ron.”
“Come on, we'll tell you on our way to Dumble-- I mean, McGonagall's office."
The Mystery Guests' Point of view
Waiting in this office with these moving portraits is really weird. It's been years since I've seen one. It doesn't help that I'm also so nervous I can't keep my leg from bouncing up and down. What are these people going to say? Will they be mad? No, the way Sirius had spoke, they'll prolly just be shocked. Before I start telling myself for the millionth time not to get my hopes up about him, the door finally opens, and Professor McGonagall comes in followed by the 4 people she said were probably coming. I'm glad my son's deep asleep in his trolley or stroller as some people call it. I don't want to know how he'd be if he was awake right now. I don't think I can handle both whatever news I'll be getting, and dealing with a 3 year old right now.
“Mrs. Cora McKinnon Black, I'd like you to meet Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. All of them rather close to Sirius” the Professor tell me.
“What?!!” exclaim the ones the professor indicated were Ron and Hermione. I guess they didn't know yet.
I open my mouth to say something, but I get cut off.
“Wait, Mrs.??” Asked who I think must be Harry, from how Sirius described him. I guess she didn't tell him all the details either. I
take a deep breath and start again.
“Well, we never officially married... We loved each other so much we would have if we could have, but since I had young Sirius James here, I had to make up a certificate, and tell the story to everyone that Sirius was abroad on business...”
“Wait... that isn't--?” Starts Hermione.
“Our son? Yes... unfortunately I haven't been able to tell him since he was on the run. When could I get in touch with him? You are his Godson aren't you? And speaking of, I was thinking, it's only fitting that you be Sirius James Godfather Harry, if you don't mind...”
“No, of course I don't. I'd love to. As for Sirius though...”
“Hold on,” I say quickly. I put up a charm around my son. If the news is good or bad, I don't want him waking up. Although, he's a pretty sound sleeper like his father.
Anyway, I'm sure I'd scream either way. “Alright, go ahead.”
“I'm very sorry to tell you. But he was killed 2 years ago. I'm sorry I couldn't lighten the blow any. It's been hard...”
I can't help it. I tried to prepare myself, but now I'm sobbing uncontrollably.
The word feels like it's ripping out of my throat. The hurt in my throat is nothing than what's happening to my heart. This hurts more than I ever thought it could. Even more than after he left 5 years ago and the Ministry Agents were gone.
"He can't be gone, he just can't be!" I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.I scream and sob and nearly fall off the chair. Somebody caught me and holds me steady. They hug me tight me a hug, and I cling to them. Out of the corner of my eye I see soft long red hair, and short messy black hair. I almost think it could have been Sirius's best friends he'd talk to me about. I know it can't be, and it reminds me again that I'm never going to see him again. I'll never be in his arms again. Waiting for everyone to get here, I tricked myself into thinking he might walk through that door with them. If possible I sob even harder than I started.
I cling to Ginny and cry, "He needed to meet his son. He wanted a family so bad, and he never knew." It sounds like I'm whispering now, I must be losing my voice. But I've now lost the love of my life, I'd give up my voice if I could have him back. Anything just to have him back.
“Harry, Ginny, will you please take Mrs. Black to the Hospital Wing? Poppy will be able to give her something to calm her down. Ron, Hermione, please watch after young Sirius James here, and bring him up to Gryffindor tower, you can meet up with Mrs. Black there after she's calmed down.”
I hardly even hear what she's saying, but I did hear the sound of someone blowing her nose.
I let myself be led out of the room in a daze. What the bloody hell was going on? I knew the odds were against Sirius. I'm usually a tough young woman. Now I'm acting like I never have before. Even when my parents and brother were killed recently from someone who randomly robbed our shop back home, I wasn't crying this hard. I have a toddler to take care of. Since I had no one else there, I came back to England as soon as I could, went to Diagon Alley, found a newspaper and the headlines told me all I needed to know. I'm not crying so hard now, but I'm still in a daze as I think of all this. Maybe it's now the combination of losing Sirius all over again, and my parents that has me out of control. Plus the people here are kind enough to take care of my son. I didn't have anyone before this when I was packing, and arranging a Floo, Portkeys are still dangerous for Sirius James. I'm lucky to have my Macaw, Orchid, to deliver letters to the Wizarding world or else I'd have to try to move by muggle transportation.
Because I'm not watching where I'm going I walk into a bedframe.
"Ow!" I guess now I'm in the Hospital Wing, it's lined with beds. I'm not the only one in here either. It looks like some just finished a war.... Oh, right...
I see Harry starts talking with an older woman. Her white eyebrows disappear behind her hat, but she briskley walks over. She hands me something to drink which I numbly take not really hearing what she says.
“BLAEHHHH!! what the bloody hell is that?” Well, that certainly shocked me enough to get the horrible thoughts I've been having out of my head if for only a little while.
She rolls her eyes at me, and I see Harry and Ginny giggle. “It's a Calming Drought... Why does everyone expect these potions to taste good? You know, I can definitely picture you with Mr. Black, he always had the same reaction when I made him take potions for whatever incidents he'd get himself in with Mr. Potter, and the rest of them.”
I get silent again. Then it occurred to me I never asked how it happened. maybe there some revenge I'll be able to take... “How did it happen Harry? And is the bastard still alive?”
“Yes, definitely someone Mr. Black would have been drawn to...” Poppy says vaguely.
“Bitch, actually” Ginny surprisingly answers. “We were at the Ministry of Magic, Voldemort tricked Harry into thinking Sirius was being tortured to get him to go there to get this Prophecy made about Voldemort and Harry. Sirius came to rescue Harry, but was killed by his cousin who was a Death Eater. She was killed last week by my mum actually” she finishes, sounding very proud. My head's swimming from all the information, but it's good to know.
Then it hit me. If I'm going through so much, Harry must have been heartbroken too. “Good. Merlin Harry, I'm so sorry you lost him so soon after having found him. It must have been just as hard on you” I open my arms to offer him a hug, and he came willingly. “When I knew him the summer he was with me, almost all he could talk about was you, and how happy he was that you knew he was innocent, and was able to spend any time with you." My voice hurts but he has to know, "He loved you. And that's part of the reason why I loved him. Because he never gave up on his friends. He didn't want to give up on me either” I hug Harry a little harder, and I can't help but start crying again.
“I feel so lucky to meet you now. So many people have died last week, including another friend of my parents Remus. He was the last of their true friends to be alive, and now he's gone too. Now that you and your son are here, it's good to know that a bit of Sirius lives on too; just as Remus's son, my other Godson, lives on in him. Now, I have 2 Godsons!” He gives me a huge smile, and so does Ginny next to him.
I think the Calming Drought is kicking in because I'm starting to think of other things besides overwhelming grief. “Are you two married? Because I'm sure Sirius James will need a God mother.”
“Not yet, but someday soon I hope, right Ginny?” Harry says.
At the same time Ginny, who obviously isn't paying attention to Harry, says, “I'd love to!!! How old is he? He's adorable by the way.”
I whip my head around to quickly trying to look at both of them, “Ow, um, he's 3, and thank you” I say with a large smile. Looking at the two of them, I could tell that moving back here was a great idea. Maybe it's the Calming Drought working, or maybe it's their cheerfulness at finding another connection with Sirius. Whatever it is, I'm feeling much more like myself. Grief is still lingering, but it seems like everyone has some lately. I can't help but wonder what the rest of the day will bring.
Ron's Point of view
After Harry and Ginny leave with Sirius's wife... Wow, I can't get over that. The next thing I know I'm being told to carry their kid's trolley, with Hermione carrying Sirius James and on our way to Gryffindor Tower. Merlin my head hurts. I mean, of all things I thought today was going to be, it wasn't this. I thought it would just be full of hurt, tears, and whatever else was going on in my head. Losing Fred's hard enough to understand, still is. I don't know how I'm supposed to help look after a little kid too. I'm glad Hermione seems to be a natural. He seems to be sound asleep on her shoulder. My heart gives a little lurch. I can only imagine how wonderful Hermione will be as a mother. Merlin... How can I have all these thoughts going around my head at once??
“Ron? Are you ok? You've been really quiet,” she whispers since she's holding Sirius James.
“My head hurts. All of this happening today... it's almost too much to cope with.”
“Once we get to the Common room, try holding Sirius James. It feels good to just think about something else for a little while. You can't help it when you hold this little guy. But when you feel ready to talk, just tell me ok? I'll need you to talk to too when things calm down.”
I look over at Hermione, and she's just so pretty, and looks so worried about me... My heart melts. I'd do anything for this girl. “Right, 'cause we need to talk about when we can go find your parents huh? And don't worry Hermione, I'll talk about Fred soon. I just don't know where to start yet.” We reach the Portrait hole, which just lets us in.
“Ok, sit down Ron.”
“I don't think this is going to work—” she ignores me as always, and puts the small boy on my lap anyway. She was about to put my arms where they were supposed to, but I somehow beat her to it. She smiles.
“See? It's a natural thing.”
“What happens when he--?” My question is now about to be answered 'cause the boy stretches and wakes up.
His eyes open, and sits up immediately. He looks up at me and Hermione and yells at the top of his lungs, “MUUUUUUUMMM?!!!”
“Shhh, Shhh, hey little guy. Calm down. Listen a sec.” I try to tell him as he tries to squirming off my lap.
In all his kicking, his foot hit where nothing really should hit.... Bloody, little bugger of a...
Crap, I said that out loud I guess. I can't say anything more though... I'm hurting too bloody much...
“Listen, Sirius James, we're your mum's friends. She'll be back soon, we're looking after you buddy” Hermione tells him.
He still looks really unsure, “Where am I?”.
“One of the funnest places ever, the Gryffindor Common room at Hogwarts,” I tell him. I don't want him to think I'm totally out of the picture. I'm still hurting pretty bad, but who knew little boys could kick that hard. Try not to show it though... Ow.
“Ok, to prove it. What kind of fun thing would you want to do right now?” Hermione askes him.
He thought for a minute and in the process seemed to decide we were ok. “Tag! Your it!” He shouts and tags Hermione.
What, in the name of Merlin, kind of game is that?? Hermione apparently knows 'cause she starts chasing the kid all over the room until she tags him back... ok, I get it now... still pretty silly but... He comes over and tagges me. “Your It!!” He giggles loudly and runs away. I stretch a little to check if I'm ready to run around, but seem to be ok now, “Ok, watch out, I'm gonna get you!”
This lasts at least 20 minutes until my parents come in looking at Hermione trying to catch me and Sirius James. We're all laughing our heads off, and I nearly crash into my dad. I fall over just short of his shiny brown shoes. I look up and his face has one eyebrow up as if to say, "What the-?"
“Ron, who is this little boy? Where did he come from?” Asks my mum.
I feel the ground shake slightly as Sirius James runs over, and feel him climb on my back, looks up at her and says “I'm Sirius James, who are you? And where did you come from?”
I can't help myself, I laugh so hard that if I were standing, I'd probably fall over anyway. This was officially the craziest day ever.
A/N: lol, I love that last part if you ask me. Ok please tell me how you liked this chapter. I have no way of knowing if I Did something wrong if you don't review ;) Thanks, I'll update soon :)
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