These five words, unrelated in the natural course of a life, have all come together within me in at the worst of times. During the midst of war, they have expressed themselves. In one singular fluid motion, everything changed and set into perspective all that I had been feeling for the past several years.
These words. This moment.
They have left me with no doubts in my mind that this singular moment, these feelings...this was the time. This was the love I was born to experience. To have all for myself. This was the day that only Fate could bring to me. And because of them, the doors of my indecision slammed shut, locked, and were never to be opened by my confused musings again.
The air engulfed me in its electricity. The pulse of electric waves sent my heart skipping beats, stammering its own language out for my body to interpret.
At first, its meaning was unknown to me. These beats, this sensation I felt all over my body ran through me and brought my flesh to life. I felt it for the first time, her touch, more tender than I ever felt before. Her words, she spoke them to me, as if there was nothing else in the world for her to do but speak, to me, and spill all her secrets into my ready ears as we held each other close. For the rest of our lives, never were we going to be separated again.
Of that I know. But does she?
Our breaths have become one as we awaited the news, the list of those lost in the largest fight we had ever witnessed, been one with, and defended. We were shaken, but not calm, in each other's arms we had cried, weeping for those long gone, those we could not protect, not with all our bravery, not with all our underground training, not with our lives on the line too.
We could not save everyone, we could not help them all. We could only save so much of our own skin. Her nose had been nicked by the monster, Fenrir, and I had healed it later. Much later. When all was calm, all still and silent, accounting and numb to what was destroyed, lost in the Battle of Hogwarts.
Yet we remained, holding each other tight in the midst of all the confusion, and we always will.
Of this I know, for I have felt the electric, my pulse quickening with that of exhilaration. Adrenaline has pumped the blood through my body, into my heart, where the calm pitter-patter of my beating heart tells me that I have found the one, my soul's mate and true love.
Does she feel it to? Does she know what I know? Will she?
Can I make her understand? Will she listen?
I fear her fear, and the pulse quickens in my veins, beats skipping over themselves as if tripping through life in constant agony, fighting for her, for her and me.
She will hate me. She won't understand. I know it, I know it. I can hear her yelling in my ears later, stomping away from me, despising me and who she thinks I have become. She will think the trauma of the world might have hit me or that I've been tainted or shaken by the booms of thunderous spells that were around us not so long ago. She might think that I have been made into something she cannot comprehend that no one here seems to comprehend.
But I must make her understand. I must explain. I will try.
I held her closer, soothing her sighs of mourning as she cried into my chest. I stroked her golden blonde hair and felt her body against mine. The world shakes and she must know. She must know what I feel for her.
She will know. I will tell her everything. I will calmly speak my words of bravery and wisdom and maybe she has to listen and feel for me as I feel for her...
In the midst of war, before we separated, and before we came back together, I gave her one, sweet gentle kiss atop her brow. And I knew that I was in love. Always in love with Lavender Brown, my best friend and soul mate.
In the midst of war, one moment and five words changed my life. Electricity pulsed through me and tingled my thoughts. I shut them out, stagnant and numb to their sensation. With a clap of thunder, we fought for our freedom and I will again.
I am strong, clam, and resolved.
I had survived a war and I will share my secret love with the world.
nrb writes: Thoughts? Questions? CC?
Everything you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling, everything else belongs to me =) Hope you enjoyed!