Chapter 5 : Chapter 4 -Just Wait: and see what I learn next
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A/N: This chapter has been Beta’d by the wonderful MrsJaydeMalfoy. I must extend my apologies for taking a little bit longer than usual to update this. Real life has been hectic, as I have been working 60+ hours a week. I thank you for your patience and continued support, and as always I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. So don’t be shy - leave a quick review! I thrive on your feedback, please and thank you!! Now I hope you enjoy the chapter...
I couldn't believe what I was about to do. I was standing outside The Three Broomsticks, debating whether or not I should go in. I knew that if Lysander was in Hogsmeade, then that's where he would be at. But even so, I had still gone to check out Honeydukes and Zonko's Joke Shop first anyways. I guess I was just trying to stall time and put off going into the one place that I knew he could most likely be found.
I took a deep breath and finally convinced myself to open the door and go inside. I didn't have to stay there very long, however, because I found what I was looking for immediately. Sitting in the back corner, looking like he didn't even have a care in the world, was Lysander... And sitting across from him, was none other than Roxanne Weasley. No wonder Rose had been so reluctant to give up this mystery girl's name to Scorpius; it was one of her own bloody cousins!
Damn the Weasleys and their stupid need to repopulate all the freaking time! What the hell is Roxanne's problem anyways? I mean, hello; there were two of them! Why couldn't she have just gone for the twin that hadn't already been spoken for, huh? Urgh, and that is so like a Gryffindor too; always sticking their noses in where they don't belong. Damn it, damn it, damn it; damn them all to hell!
Look at her, I thought to myself. Sitting over there, laughing with him. What, does she live under a rock or something? How can she not know that Lysander has been seeing me off and on again for the last year?
If you were to ask my opinion, I would have told you that she was nothing but a no good, home-wrecking tramp. I mean, she was so fake! She had a fake smile, a fake tan, and I would have been more than willing to bet that her hair was even fake too. And she probably did have that Weasley red hair, but I bet she just died it brown so that she could look different.
So there I was, getting all jealous. But I can promise you that I’m not normally like that. I don't know what came over me in that moment, but I just couldn’t help but feel that way. Can you blame me though? I had been under the impression that was into me, but apparently he had been going out and seeing other girls, and then turning around and lying to me about it.
That kind of behavior was so unlike him though, because normally Lysander told me everything. So why did he think he need to lie about it that time, by telling me that he was having a last-minute Quidditch practice with Lorcan that Saturday?
I just couldn't understand why he would feel the need to keep something like this a secret from me. If he wasn't interested in me anymore, then why couldn't he just be honest about it up front? Honestly, I would have preferred it if he had done that, rather than having to find out about it like this.
The worst part about it all was that I had been standing there for about three minutes, and he never even noticed me - not once. I guess he was just too busy being wrapped up in her to notice much of anything else around him in that moment. But I could not just stand there and watch, it was much too painful, so I turned around and ran back out the door instead.
I know, I know, I should have confronted him right then and there. I should have taken him down right in front of her, just like Scorpius had told me to do... But I couldn't - I just couldn't do it. When it all came down to it, I wasn't able to find the right words to say, because I was way too angry, and too shocked to speak coherently.
All that talk about how I was going to start standing up for myself, and the whole may the wizard god have mercy on him thing, was just me blowing off some steam. What, you didn't actually think that I was going to act on this right away, did you? Of course not! I needed to have a solid plan of action first.
Not only that, but my silly mother had always taught me that there are two sides to every story. So I figured, therefore, that I would give Lysander a chance to explain himself, before I flew off the handle and did something crazy. After all, I didn't want to make myself look like a fool for jumping to the wrong conclusions...
So when he asked me if I still wanted to go and do something with him on Sunday afternoon, I went ahead and said; "Sure, why not?" And that was how I found myself going for a walk out on the school grounds with him, enjoying the last few days of nice weather we would be having before the cold of winter set in.
For twenty-four hours, I had been pondering how best to bring the thing with Roxanne up to him. Finally, I just decided to act all illusive about it at first, and see if I could get him to tell me the truth on his own. "So how did Quidditch practice go with Lorcan yesterday?" I casually asked him as we were walking by the lake.
"What?" he replied, looking a bit confused at first. "Oh, right, Quidditch," he quickly recovered. "I-It was great. Really fun. We worked on some amazing plays, and I for one am confidant that we are going to win our first match against Hufflepuff next month."
Yeah, there is no way I would have bought that, even if I hadn't seen what I had the day before. He was acting way too nervous, and it couldn't have been more obvious that he was just making all this stuff up off the top of his head. So then I decided to try and go at it from another route. "Lysander, you would never lie to me, would you?" I asked as innocently as I could manage, given how frustrated I was.
Man if I thought he looked nervous before, it was nothing compared to how he looked after I popped that little question. He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up on the side, and took a deep breath before making his reply. "Sandy, what on earth would make you ask me something like that for?"
"Just wondering," I shrugged.
"I care a lot about you Sandra, you know that I do." Ok, so that was a nice start, I had to admit. But I was still curious to see where he was going with this, so I kept my mouth shut and waited. "And I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, but there are just some things in life that are better if left unsaid."
Yeah, definitely not the reassuring answer I was going for. "Lysander Scamander, now I know for certain that you are hiding something from me," I finally blurted out. "And I am giving you the chance, right now, to tell me what that something is. I don't deal with secrets very well, and you of all people should know that!"
"What do you mean I'm hiding something? Sandreiah, I'm not hiding anything," he said, obviously trying -and failing- to act all innocent. "I think you're acting a bit paranoid here."
"Oh yeah?" I argued. "Well what if I told you that I fancied a trip to Hogsmeade yesterday?" HA! Oh how I wish you could have seen the look on his face when I said that.
"Heheh," he laughed nervously. "You went there by yourself? Now why would you do that?"
For a moment, I considered telling him that Lorcan had gone with me, just to torture him some more, but I decided against it. Gosh, being the better person sure can suck sometimes. "Well I wanted to have a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks," I told him. "But then I walked in and couldn't stand the view in there, so I left without ordering anything."
He knew right then that he had been caught, and so he finally stopped denying it. "Sandreiah, I can explain," Lysander started.
"I don't want your excuse for an explanation," I snapped. "What I want is for you to stop seeing her! You chose to spend your time with her yesterday, instead of me, and I'll be damned if I am going to be anybody's second choice, Lysander Scamander. You got that?"
"Loud and clear," I heard him mutter. "I'm sorry, Sandreiah, I didn't even think of it like that. It was no big deal, honesty, and I promise you that I can explain."
"Well you had better be able to explain something!" I shouted. "I cannot even believe that you would pull this crap with me. Did you think I was stupid, or that I wouldn't figure it out?"
"Listen," he started. "Roxanne; she's nothing, no big deal. I can assure you that she means nothing to me. I swear to you that my meeting with her yesterday was completely harmless."
"Harmless, huh? Well think again. I asked you a few days ago if you and I could go spend some time together on Saturday," I reminded him. "But then you lied and told me that you were going to have a private Quidditch practice with Lorcan, just so that you could go out there and have a secret date with Roxanne Weasley. Imagine how I felt when I walked in and saw you sitting there across from her... I want you to know that the part of me that thought I could trust you died yesterday, Lysander. But yet there was no harm done, right?"
"Well I wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings," he said in an attempt to be reassuring. "That was never my intention, Sandreiah, I promise."
"Oh no, of course not!" I shouted. "Tell me something then; if you never intended to hurt my feelings, then why in the hell did you feel like you needed to lie to me about her? If this thing with Roxanne really isn't that big of a deal to you, then why were you being so secretive about it, huh?" In the back of my mind, I could just hear my mother saying: And the over-reactor of the year award goes to... But I didn't care at all if I was overreacting or not. In my opinion, I had every right to be so angry.
There was a long pause before Lysander finally stated; "You're right." Ah, my two favorite words. Of course I was right; it was about time he admitted it too. "Look, I told you after we got into that fight the last time that I didn't want to argue with you anymore. I love you, Sandreiah, and you mean a whole lot more to me than that other girl. I don't want to lose you, so just tell me what it is I have to do to make this all go away and I'll do it. Please," Lysander begged.
I couldn't help but smile at him. Lysander certainly did have a great way of knowing exactly what to say to get to a woman's heart. How could I possibly stay mad at him when he was looking at me like that? "Well begging's a good way to start I suppose," I sighed, rolling my eyes at him. "But honestly, Lysander, if it's me you want, then I'm going to have to ask that you stay away from Roxanne and never see her again."
"Consider it done," he replied happily. "I won't see her ever again; not if it means losing you, I promise."
Now you can bet your galleons that I kept a very close eye on him after that. A month had gone by and, as far as I knew, Lysander had had little to no contact with Roxanne since their meeting at The Three Broomsticks that Saturday. He was ever so charming, and he gave me his full, undivided attention whenever I so desired it. It seemed like things were finally starting to get serious between Lysander and I again… Or so I had thought.
It was the middle of November by that point, which is always a busy time of the year at Hogwarts; with people getting ready for the Holidays and all. I was walking inside, having come from the greenhouses after Herbology class, when this tiny little first year boy ran into me. The kid had not been paying any attention at all to where he was going as he walking out the door, therefore he hit me head-on and fell backwards. The collision sent books, papers, quills, and more flying in all different directions.
Naturally, I was annoyed. I looked down at him as he scrambled to pick up his belongings off the floor, and noticed that he was a Ravenclaw. Funny; I always thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be more observant and more perceptive than this kid seemed to be. I wanted to shout at him for being so clumsy, but I thought better of it since he was so young. "Slow down there kid," is what I said instead. "What's the big hurry?"
"I'm sorry lady," he nervously apologized. "I'm running late for class and I have to drop this letter off at the Owlery before it gets around to lunchtime. I should have been paying more attention to where I was going." His eyes darted back and forth as he searched for the things that had rolled away. "Oh no, I'm going to be in so much trouble if I don't find it. He'll kill me if I've lost that letter. He already paid me to deliver it."
I rolled my eyes in annoyance and bent down to start helping him gather up his things. "Why, in the name of Merlin, is someone paying you to deliver their mail for them kid?"
"I like to help out," the boy shrugged. "And besides, the person I'm helping stands up for me and helps keep the bullies away. But if I've lost his letter…" He trailed off and continued frantically looking back and forth.
I couldn't help but feel for this kid. He was so obviously the nerdy type who got picked on and taken advantage of quite a lot. The least I could do was help him find this silly letter. I too started scanning the area until I finally spotted a rolled up bit of parchment that had rolled about ten feet away from where the boy had landed. I walked over, picked it up off the ground, and made to hand it over to him.
But then I froze as I got a good look at the bit of parchment that was in my hands. My jaw dropped as I recognized the name that was written on the front in a small, scribbled handwriting that I also knew all too well; Roxanne. It was definitely Lysander's handwriting alright. So this is why has was so okay with not seeing Roxanne anymore; he was writing to her!
"Oh good, you've found it!" the Ravenclaw boy shouted gleefully when he finally noticed that I had picked up his coveted letter. "Thanks lady," he said as he held out his hand for it expectantly.
I couldn't just hand it back over to him though, my curiously levels were way too high for that. But then again, I also couldn't have this kid going back and telling Lysander that I had bombarded him in the hall, took the letter away from him, and then refused to give it back neither. I didn't want Lysander to have any idea that I was even onto him. So I came up with a cunning plan, right there on the spot.
"I'll tell you what," I said ever so politely. "I'm on my way to the Owlery myself right now, so why don't I just deliver this letter for you? At least then that will allow you to make it to your next class on time today."
"You could really do that for me?" he said doubtingly. I nodded reassuringly, but he still didn't look convinced. "I don't know… How much is this going to cost me?"
The poor kid seriously thought that I was going to charge him for my services. Oh well, it was his problem for letting people walk all over him like that, as far as I was concerned. I could no longer be bothered with feeling bad for him in that moment, for my mind was focused on one thing, and one thing only; the letter that was gripped tightly in my hands.
"No charge, seriously," I promised the kid in my most sweet and polite voice. "It really isn't that big of a deal, kid. Just promise me that you'll try to pay more attention to where you're going when you’re running through the halls from now on."
"Wow, thanks lady!" he exclaimed. "You've got it, I owe you one." He then picked his bag up off the floor and hurried away in the opposite direction.
As soon as he was out of sight I turned my full attention back on to the letter that was clenched tightly in my right hand. I couldn't believe my luck in that moment. How fortunate it had been for the one kid who Lysander had chosen to be his delivery boy to just-so-happen to run into me that day.
It was as though fate had intended for this to happen, which is why I convinced myself that I was meant to find that letter; in which case it was also okay for me to read it. And after all, I couldn't argue with fate now could I? So, with trembling hands, I undid the seal, unrolled the parchment, and began to read the letter:
How are you today, sweetheart? I hope McGonagall isn’t giving you a hard time about that Transfiguration essay. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to help you get it done last night, I was busy with Lorcan. I finally ended things with Sandreiah though, as I promised you that I would. I can’t wait to go shopping in Hogsmeade with you this weekend, and I am looking so forward to meeting your parents over the winter holidays. In response the questions you asked me in your last letter; I love firewhisky, my favorite thing to eat is chocolate, my favorite color is blue, favorite game is Quidditch (obviously), and in my free time I enjoy reading books (although I would never openly admit this to anybody, so please don’t be giving away my secrets.) And there you have it; my five honest answers. Now it is your turn to tell me your five favorites as well - no cheating! I’ll be expecting your reply letter at dinner. I can’t wait to see your beautiful shining face in the Great Hall tonight.
Oh. My. God. I could hardly breathe after that. He had called her his sweetheart, and said that he had "ended things with me." What the hell was that even supposed to mean? Oh, and let's not forget the fact that they had a shopping date planned for the weekend, and he was even going to meet her parents over winter break too! That could only mean that this thing between them, whatever it was, was getting way too serious, way too quickly for my liking.
All the time that had passed since I'd caught him "hanging out" with her for the first time at The Three Broomsticks, I had believed that he had put things to an end with Roxanne. But then I found out that, apparently, he had been lettering her everyday since then. How in the hell did I miss those things?
It had been so stupid of me to actually believe that he would ever just stop talking to somebody as beautiful as Roxanne though. I was so naïve to think that he would still put my feelings first after someone as seemingly perfect as her started taking an interest in him. Lysander was just your typical teenage boy, after all.
Stupid Roxanne Weasley and her stupid need to take everything that didn't belong to her. I mean, come on, like I said the last time: there are two of them! I still could not understand why she just had to go for the one twin that was already involved with someone else - that someone being me. Ugh! Leave it to a stupid Gryffindor, and a Weasley one at that, to come in and completely ruin my life like that. I had never actually hated anybody before. My mum always said that 'hate' was a strong word, and therefore it was never to be used too lightly. But in that moment I sure hated her.
What's more than that though, I hated the way this whole situation was making me feel. I had never been jealous, or vengeful, or spiteful, and I usually didn't get this angry and upset over things. I had never wanted to walk up to someone at dinnertime before and slam their head into the table, just for fun and giggles. And I certainly was not the type of person who went around looking to start a fight. That person just wasn't me; it was more Scorpius than anything else.
Yet I could feel myself changing as the rage inside of me began to grow. As it turned out I really did have more of my father in me than everyone had originally thought, and Lysander would just have to be the first person on the list to learn that. Merlin, I had been such an idiot for playing so nicely with him after I'd learned of his deceiving ways the first time.
But it looked like my nice days were finally over; as the both of them would be learning soon enough...
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