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Chapter 3 : Thoughts, about a week later
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Thoughts, about a week later
A/N: This chapter was tricky to write because the situation is so complicated. They're going through terrible grief, but there's overwhelming happiness that comes from having the weight lifted of not constantly being in danger. Read, and see what I mean. Enjoy.
Ginny’s Point of view
Harry still hasn’t told me what had gone on this past year or what happened just recently. Inside I'm conflicted with being angry he hasn't told me anything about why he had to rip my heart out pretending to be dead, and letting him have time to just recover for a little while, but we need to get past this topic so we can move on to others.
The Funeral/ Memorial service is tomorrow and I don’t want to have to bring it up too much after it’s over. Harry had the idea of including anyone and everyone who has died in the fight against Voldemort. Whether it was recent or years ago, but had never had the chance to acknowledge them. McGonagall thinks it's a great idea. We'll include Sirius, Regulus (Harry told me he'll explain that later), Ted Tonks, plus a few others that came to McGonagall with requests.
Now though, Harry and I are wandering around the lake; I can tell he’s nervous because Andromeda and Teddy are coming today so Harry can finally meet our Godson. Tonks told me she wanted me to be his Godmother, and I was shocked. I hadn’t really known her too well, just since my 4th year. I remember her saying that since she didn’t have any sisters, she thought of me as one. I just remembered Harry probably didn’t know, that could be a good way to open the conversation to things I need to know. Just when I was about to though, he grabs my hand and pulls me to him for a hug.
“Ginny, I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re here for me after I had to leave you last year. You’re even giving me time to figure out how to tell you about Regulus, Sirius's brother, everything.” He nuzzles into my hair and neck as he's speaking so it's hard to concentrate, but it's important to.
So that’s why. He isn’t avoiding it, just figuring out how to say it. That just makes me admire him more. How many guys would just want to shrink away from talking about anything difficult? But after everything he's been through, this must be easier. He leads me over to a tree near the lake, and he just talkes. From when Dumbledore told him about Horcruxes, to Kreacher telling them what Regulus had done (no wonder Kreachers' behavior lately). Then he went on how they had to impersonate officials from the Ministry, which made my mouth drop open from surprise, just about everything important. The Deathly Hallows and the Horcruxes had me looking at him in disbelief.
“Harry, out of everything that I was imagining, you being related to the people who created the Deathly Hallows, and having a bit of Voldemorts' soul inside you, so you had to die, for it to die, has to be the farthest thing from my mind. I could never have imagined any of this. I can’t believe you’re still here after everything! You could have died so many times!” I can’t take it; I fall against him and just cry out all my relief for a few minutes, hours I don't know I'm just so glad he's here to hold me. He just wraps his arms around me, strokes my hair, and kisses my head.
“Trust me love, I thought of you every time I possibly could have. If I could have spared you, and everyone, the agony of not knowing, I would have.”
“It’s a bloody good thing I didn’t know anything about this before! I would have been an absolute wreck worrying about you! Wait ‘til other people find out, Mum’s going to go mad!”
“Well that’s just it Ginny, I had to tell you all of it. We had to edit some of it to the others though, about the Horcruxes, and what exactly they are, and the Deathly Hallows. That's where I was when Ron told you I had a meeting. The Portrait of Dumbledore and I agreed that no one should be able to find out what they are to use them at all anymore. Certain people get too power hungry when they hear things like that exist. McGonagall, Kingsley, and other key people in the Order understand why they can't know, and agree that there's no reason to know if he's gone now anyway. I don't think it would have worked if it was just me telling them. I'm still too young in their eyes. Promise you won’t tell anyone? I told them something, just not all of it.”
I hadn’t even thought of that, but I give him a soft kiss, and say “Of course Harry.” I just start to kiss him more intensely when we hear someone clear their throat.
“As much as I hate ruining tender moments like these (gag) just so you guys know, Andromeda and Teddy are here. They’re in the Great Hall eating lunch” said George, although he seems his joking self, I still see how much it hurts that Fred isn't chiming in. Just as he starts to walk away he yells over his shoulder, “Oh, Harry, just so you know from all us older brothers, just because you’re the ‘Chosen One’ or whatever, doesn’t exclude you from major arse whooping if you hurt her.”
“Older brothers,” I say under my breath, “I hope we don’t hear more of that, maybe Ron won’t so much now that he’s with Hermione, but I don’t know about the rest of them." I pull him up so we can head to the castle when I remember "Oh, I forgot to tell you, George reminded me, Tonks made me Teddy's Godmother!”
Harry gives me a huge smile, “Brilliant, that’s a great surprise, now Teddy has a whole family to be there for him." He goes silent for a bit, "We all still wish his parents were still… around, but this has to be the next best thing… unless I mess up royally.” He looks completely uncertain of himself, and so pained that Remus and Tonks were gone. He looks away, trying not to let me see the tears in eyes even if they don't fall.
I get choked up too, it's all terribly sad, but I reassure him all the same. “Of course you won’t, we’ll help each other with mistakes we’re bound to make. You’ll be wonderful Harry, I know it." I bite my lip, "I’m real nervous too though, I know how you feel.”
“Well, I don’t know of anyone better to be Godmother than you. You’ll be a natural.”
“Thanks Harry” and I gave him a lingering kiss for that. I don't know where he gets that idea. Being around brothers all the time I'm not sure I'll be all that great at God Mothering.
Harry’s Point of view
I try to gather my thoughts after she kisses me, it's not easy. “You know, it’s occurred to me I haven’t officially asked you yet” I stop her so I can see her brown eyes looking up at me. “Ginny, would you be my girlfriend?” her smile's the biggest I've seen in forever, “Yes Harry, I will” and she wraps her arms around my neck. I pick her up and spin her around. This has to be one of my happiest moments since the battle. The girl of my dreams in my arms—
“You know, I’m bloody surprised you didn’t stumble all over yourself asking me that, Hermione told me how Cho could barely understand you” she giggles.
I put her down, so I can look at her properly. “You know I was just thinking how I was sooo happy, and how wonderful you are until you said that” I tease her. She gives me a playful shove.
Before we know it we're outside the Great Hall and I freeze. What if—
“Again, Harry don’t worry, you’ll be fine. They’ll both love you. Andromeda is really nice, I’ve met her a couple of times visiting Tonks. The only reason I haven’t seen Teddy is because when he was born it was too dangerous for any of us to go out.” I nod and we start to go in. How does she always know what’s going on in my head?
“Oh my gosh, Harry look!” I look ahead of us and see Mrs. Weasley holding Teddy while Andromeda eats her lunch. There is no mistaking it's him, not only because he's the only baby here, and he has bright orange hair like Mrs. Weasley. That's definite proof he inherited Tonks' Metamorphism because, as I remember, neither Tonks or Remus had naturally orange hair. Andromeda sees us come in, get up, and give us both big hugs.
“It’s so good to see you both. I just wish you could have seen the 3 of them together. They were the perfect—“ She clearly can't go on and starts to silently sob against us. We just stand there. Well, I just stand there. Ginny, being amazing, comforts her by hugging her back. I awkwardly take her lead and do the same.
I finally get a little bit of thought back in my head and tell Ginny, “Go say hi to our Godson, I’ll be there in a minute.” Ginny looks up at me. I can tell she's surprised I feel confident enough to be alone with Andromeda. Not that she's an uncomfertable person, but the situation is unsettling enough. Ginny nods though, and smiles at me sadly with some tears in her eyes.
“Andromeda, I just want to tell you how sorry I am that we lost them,” a large lump is now stuck in my throat.
“Well Harry, I’m not going to lie and tell you I don’t think nearly my whole family was destroyed in one night. When Minerva came to tell me the news, I was devastated," she brings her hand up to her mouth to try and cover a sob. I'm not used to being around anyone crying, but I know I have to try and hold it together for her. She somehow manages to continue though, "I still am. The one thing that helps is having Teddy, and all of Tonks and Remus’s friends are becoming more of a family to me. It’s going to be hard…” She cries again, “So hard… But we’ll all be there for each other.” I give her a hug, still trying my hardest to be strong for her, but a few tears come down my cheeks anyway. “You don’t have to say anything more to me about the topic. You have a Godson to meet now,” and she wipes her eyes and pushes me in the right direction.
I turn towards Ginny, and my heart nearly stops 'cause she seems to glow with happiness. I concentrate breathing for a minute, the difference between talking about grief, and happiness of a new life is a bit much to take in. Ginny looks up from little Teddy, she smiles, and comes over. She must have figured out that my feet seem to be glued to the floor.
“Here Harry, you have to hold him. I can’t even explain how good it feels,” and without letting me say anything, she bends my arms in the right position, like a muggle toy I’d played with once, and puts Teddy gently in my arms.
I look down at the little guy, and it's almost like seeing Remus and Tonks in baby form. He looks up at me, without crying like I dread, and his hair changes from orange to black and mussed like mine. I smile. even with the change in hair color, he still looks distinctly like my friends. I grin bigger and soon start to feel comfortable enough to walk around. I thought I'd be too scared I'd drop him, but I'm not. Instead I bounce him sometimes, and he'd make happy make little sounds. After a few minutes, he starts fussing, "Here Harry, I'll take him," says Andromeda coming over. "No, no, it's ok. Just tell me what to do." I actually hold him a bit closer to me, I don't feel ready to hand him back just yet. Never thought I'd feel that way any time soon.
“Alright, I’ll teach you how to feed him then, he hasn’t had lunch yet,” she says with a smile on her face. I look up for the first time since I started holding him and see Ginny. She has a very wistful smile on her face, and I knew she must be thinking what I was. Starting a family won’t be for another few years at least, but when it comes, I don’t think we’ll doubt each other very much with our ability with kids. I know this has to be the easiest part; I’m not going to ‘kid’ myself thinking all of it will be. I bet Mr. and Mrs. Weasley can vouch for that with all they've been through.
A/N: I know at my hardest times even though I was grieving, life still went on, and got better. This was my way of expressing how that might have happened. Please share what you think of it in that little box there. I swear, I never knew how happy I'd get by reviews until I wrote this story. Thanks :)
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