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Simply Smashing by heart4siriusblack
Chapter 4 : Good ol' Chapter Four
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 16

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Excuse me?!” I screeched, staring at James Potter and wondering if that grin he was wearing was going to split his face in two.

He calmly put his hands in his pockets while rolling up and down on the balls of his feet, “You heard me Walker.”

“Surely I heard you wrong. It sounded like you said I kissed you last night.” I scoffed disbelievingly.

I would never do that.

I could never get that intoxicated.

Well, actually...


It can’t have happened.

Every fiber of my being hates James Potter.

That’s gotta count for something, right?

“You heard me right.” He said smugly.


“I don’t believe you. You’re lying.” I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him.

It would be so like him to lie about something like this.

But why did he choose me to be the person he fake snogged?

Surely there’s more willing candidates who would actually want to snog him, so he wouldn’t have to lie.


Never question the motives of a crazy person.

Jeanine taught me that.

He laughed a booming laugh that strangely made me want to join him.

Contagious little bugger, this git is.

“I’m not lying, Tiffany. I swear. Take a walk with me around the lake and I’ll prove it to you.” He smiled sincerely down at me.

I squinted at him, trying to make out whether or not this was a good idea.

Pros: I learn what happened last night, I get Potter to admit he lied about the kiss, and maybe he’ll be attacked by the Giant Squid.

Cons: Potter doesn’t tell me what happened last night, he wasn’t lying about the kiss, and Potter doesn’t get attacked by the Giant Squid. Oh, and I miss breakfast.

“Fine.” I sighed dramatically, “But you better tell me everything that happened last night, otherwise I’m beating you up James Potter.”

He did his booming laugh and I surprisingly felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips.


My own lips are betraying me!

Okay, so that was a bit of an overreaction.

But I do not smile when Potter laughs at my jokes.

I don’t do anything that involves Potter since he’s ignored me for six years.

We walked right past the doors that would give me delicious food and opted instead for the doors that opened out onto the sunny grounds.

I smiled as the sun warmed my skin and the breeze picked up my hair.

Okay, so maybe missing breakfast isn’t so bad.

I just wish bloody Potter wasn’t here to ruin my beautiful morning.

We walked in a surprisingly comfortable silence until we reached the edge of the sparkling lake, sitting down on the sandy edge.

I turned to look at Potter. He was staring at the water with a smile on his face.


“See something interesting out there, Potter?” I smirked.

He smirked back, “Yes, in fact. I was thinking about getting the Giant Squid a lady Squid.”

I snorted.

He stared back, his face serious.

My my.

He really has lost his marbles.

“Okay.” I said slowly, deciding to play along with the insanity, “How do you know it’s a guy?”

He smiled mischievously, “You don’t want to know.”

I looked back at him, somewhat alarmed, “I’m sure I don’t. And why does mister Giant Squid need a girlfriend, exactly?”

He stared at me a tad superiorly, an eyebrow raised, “Don’t you think he gets lonely?”

For this I had no response.

Is... James Potter caring about the wellbeing of something else?

Even if it is a mutant sea creature.

But, however sweet that may be, it isn’t what we came out here to talk about.

I stayed silent, hoping he would breech the subject first. He didn’t.

Of course.

“So?” I prompted expectantly.

He smirked, “You’re very impatient Walker.”

I scoffed, “I’m not impatient Potter. You can’t just drop a bomb like that and expect me to be calm about it.”

He furrowed his brows, “A bomb like what?”

Is he serious?

“You said I kissed you. Bit of a bomb, really.”

He smiled fondly at me, “You’re a very good kisser, Walker. Even when you’re pissed. And you’re bloody hilarious when you pass out.”


I stood up, glaring down at his innocent face, “Give me one good reason to not hex you into oblivion for cuddling up with my unconscious body Potter.”

He held up his hands in defense, “Hey, it’s not like I was exactly sober last night either.”

I scowled, “I didn’t see Freddy or Noah attempting to snuggle with Jen or Addie. Your argument holds no water.”

“That’s probably because Jen and Addie didn’t snog them.” He smiled softly, as though recalling a fond memory.

I can’t have kissed him.

I would never willingly do that...

Hold up.

Memories flooded my brain as snippets of the previous night finally came back to me.

Jen...Monks in leotards...Dare...Valiants...


“It was a dare!” I smiled smugly.

He stopped smiling and a little pout formed on his lips, “So?”

“So it doesn’t count!” I exclaimed happily.

Ah, life is good.

I don’t need Potter after all to (partially) remember my shenanigans and it wasn’t a real snog!

Plus, now I know why Potter won’t leave me alone.

“Well, that clears everything up.” I announced brightly, rubbing my hands together in satisfaction and backing up a few steps towards the castle.

“What d’you mean? Where are you going?”

“I mean, now I know why you won’t leave me alone. And I’m grabbing myself a muffin, I’m starved.”

With a cheery wave I started my way back up towards the Great Hall.

Potter, after sitting a moment in stunned silence scrambled to get up and follow me.

Is he that determined to dampen my good mood?

He caught up with me and grabbed me by the elbow, spinning me around to face him rather roughly.

Abusive, much?

“What are you saying, Walker?” He asked me, an oddly intense look in eyes.

I rolled my eyes. Is he really going to make me say it?

Of course he is.

Conceited jerk.

I sighed and looked him straight in the eye, “You keep following me around because you think I’m an easy shag.”

He stared at my face blankly until he broke up into pealing fits of laughter, clutching his sides and legitimately doubled over.


I personally didn’t think it was that funny.

“Something funny, Potter?” I asked coldly.

He stopped laughing but he continued to grin, “Tiffany, I could never see you as an easy shag.” He chuckled, “I don’t think anyone could, really.”

That prat!

“What, so you think I’m a prude? Thanks Potter.”

He ran both his hands through his hair distractedly, although the smile never quite left his face, “No I don’t. I don’t know what you are, really. But that’s why-”

I held up a hand and interrupted, “No, you don’t know what I am because you don’t know who I am. Because you’ve ignored me for six straight years.”

“That’s not true! We’ve definitely talked before.” He mumbled more to himself as his eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember the last time we’d had a conversation.

I snorted, “Yeah, if you count the time in fourth year when you asked me if I was in Ravenclaw.”

True story.

He blushed, “That was you?”

At least he had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

I shook my head in exasperation, “Yeah Potter, that was me. And if you’ll excuse me, I’m really done with this conversation.”

“Tiffany wait!” Potter reached for my arm again but I jerked it out of his grasp.

“Just leave me alone, okay?” I asked of him, looking him dead in the eye.

I didn’t wait for his reply, just scurried as fast as I could away from him and towards the refuge of the Great Hall.



“Addie, where’s Jen?” I asked my best friend, who’s head is currently slumped on the table.

“Toilets.” Came her muffled reply.



I shuddered, “Gross.”

I hate throw up.


“You know,” Addie mused as she raised her head slowly from the table, “After three years of the same tradition you’d think we’d get used to the next day hangover. Nope. Not so much.”

She looked awful.

Big dark circles under her eyes, hair rumpled, a little bit of mascara from the night before smudged on her cheek.

And I’m pretty sure I looked exactly the same.


“But the hangover is part of the tradition!” I informed her brightly, wiping the black gunk from her face.

“Then to hell with traditions.” She mumbled as she took a sip of orange juice.

“Blasphemy!” I gasped.

She smiled, making some of the juice dribble onto her chin.

“Attractive.” I smirked.

She gave me the finger.

So much for being the nice one of the bunch.

“So Addie,” I began cautiously, “How much of last night do you remember?”

“Oh my god,” She moaned, covering her face with her hands, “Barely anything. Jen and I were talking about it before she rushed off to pray to the porcelain gods. All we collectively remember is getting pissed, meeting up with the Valiants and then they took us up to the tower. You’re so lucky you got to stay in their room.” She shot me a jealous look from between her fingers.

“Nothing else?” I eyed her warily.

She sat in thought for a moment before she gasped, “Oh my god! Jen says Freddy carried her up to the common room! He actually carried her! Can you believe that?!”


They don’t remember the snog.

My sanity is saved.

I grinned, “That’s so amazing! She should definitely go for him.”

“That’s what I told her! She says she’ll think about it. I think she still fancies James quite honestly.”

The thought that my best friend fancied Potter made my insides squirm.

Out of horror and disgust.

“Ugh, Freddy’s way better. At least he’s not an arrogant imbecile.”

Addie smirked at me and nudged me in the ribs, “Do I detect some old flames rekindling for Freddy Weasley?”



I’m about to admit something sort of but completely stomach churning.

Back in fifth year, when I was young and very, very naïve, I dated Freddy for two weeks.

Before you piss yourself laughing or throw up your waffles you have to know a very important factor to this mind boggling equation:


Raging, intense, irritatingly teenage hormones.

And I got hit with ‘em hard.

And here was smokin’ hot Freddy showing interest in me.

So we dated.

For two weeks.

If you can even call it dating.

It was more like when either of us were feeling those crazy urges rear their ugly heads we’d find each other and a broom closet and snog each other’s faces off.

And then after two weeks common sense came knocking after a fortnight’s vacation and I dumped Freddy’s ass.

Haven’t really talked since.

Until this morning.

When he woke me up in Potter’s bed.

Oh, the tangled webs we weave, eh?

Shakespeare knows his stuff.

“Adriana, say that again and I will tell Ricky Carmichael that you have the hots for him.” I glared menacingly at her.

Ricky Carmichael... poor fellow.

To say that he got a bad mix of genes is an understatement.

Plus he has really bad acne.

And he’s mean.

Her eyes became the size of saucers before they narrowed into slits. “You wouldn’t.” She hissed.

I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled smugly, “Try me.”

She scrutinized me for another moment before rolling her eyes, “Whatever. But when you and Fred rekindle your love I get to gloat my arse off.”

I laughed, “Sorry to say dearie, but that is never happening.”

“Never say never.” She sang annoyingly.

Jen plopped down next to me at that moment looking shaky and pale. She didn’t say anything for an instant. “Well. This sucks.”

You can say that again sister.

“So...” Addie began awkwardly after we’d all finished eating.

I scrunched up my brows in concern, “Whats up Adds?”

“You know how none of us can really remember all of what happened last night?”

We nodded, curious as to where this was going.

She rubbed her eyes furiously before sighing and muttering very quickly, “Iputfairydustinourdrinkslastnight.”

Jen choked on the piece of toast she’d been absently chewing.

“Say that again?” I asked faintly.

That sentence made no sense.


Even if you put spaces between her words.

She sighed again. She took her hands away from her eyes to look at us, “I put fairy dust in our drinks last night.”

Jen and I looked at each other. She looked like she wanted to laugh but I was questioning Addie’s sanity.

Did she just say fairy dust?

“I think you have some explaining to do.” Jen finally managed without giggling.

Addie looked like she’d rather snog Rick Carmichael than tell us but she said anyways, in a defeated voice, “Okay, so you know how I went to visit Hagrid right after classes ended yesterday?”

We nodded.

“Well he showed me the fairies he has living right next to his house, in a clearing on the edge of the forest, and he said these are the ones they use every year for the Christmas trees. My gosh, guys you should have seen them! They’re so pretty!”

“Is there a point to this story? Like maybe when you exactly put fairy dust, whatever the hell that is, in our drinks last night?” Jen interrupted, eager to get to the juicy part of Addie’s tale.

“I’m getting there! So I’m in the fairy clearing and there was all this sparkly stuff on the ground so I asked Hagrid what it was, and he said that when fairies die they turn into this dust. And the dust is supposed to have all these really amazing magical properties to them so it’s used in beauty potions and in certain alcohol. So I took some... and put it in our drinks last night.”

She looked down at her plate looking very ashamed and although she just said an entire speech in about thirty seconds we could tell she wasn’t done.

“But what I didn’t remember until this morning is that too much fairy dust can result in certain side effects. Sparkly, itchy skin... rashes that glow... um, in some cases, memory loss...”

I shoved Addie.

She drugged me.

With dead fairies!

And she calls herself my best mate.

“You spiked my drink with dead fairies.” I stated, stunned.

I don’t know whether to laugh or hex her.

It’s her fault I’m in this whole Potter mess!

Although, to be fair, it’s not like she forced ten shots of the devil’s drink down my throat.

That was entirely voluntary.

Out of tradition, of course.

“I thought it would be a good idea!” She cried defensively.

Jen broke up laughing, her head tossed back. “Oh man,” she sighed with a grin on her face, “you’re a total nutter Addie. Come on you loons, let’s get to class.”

Addie smiled happily and got up, singing some muggle song as Jen continued to chortle at Addie’s mistake.

Sometimes I really love my crazy boy obsessed best friends.





A/N: And here lies chapter four! :) Whattya think? Leave me a review in that nifty box down there!

Thanks a million for my reviewers so far :)

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