The year was halfway over, and I had only been kissed once. This was a very large problem, and I needed to fix it.
So I hopped up the stairs to the 7th year boys’ dormitory.
“Hey Weasley.”
“Hey…you.” How was it possible that I didn’t know hardly anyone in my year?
The fellow in question was a human. He had two eyes, and two ears, and red hair but was not a Weasley. I would have recognized him by scent. Also, I do know my relatives. The rest of the world is a mystery, but I consider myself an expert on Weasleys. “Looking for Fred?”
Mystery Male was intelligent at least, and did not have large blinky eyes unlike some strangers. Yay! A day without stranger danger for Ranger…somethinger. “Merisque?”
This bed had to be his. There was his broom next to it, and the bed had Quidditch sheets on it. Aw! I looked under the bed but did not find the stoat of my dreams.
“He’s taking a bath, actually. You just missed him.”
That had to mean the prefect bathroom. If Gavin was not smart enough to use the prefect bathroom then clearly he was not the stoat of my dreams, and I needed to start looking for another stoat. The boy had triple clearance! He had been a prefect, and he was Head Boy and Quidditch captain.
“Sir Nick! Waltz me to the prefect bath?” It had been a while since I had waltzed anywhere, and I felt rather ridiculous doing it without a partner. Nick had major dancing skills, although he was a bit of a head case. Head case, get it? Since his is almost detached?
The prefect bathroom is the best in the whole castle. It’s pretty, private, and the bath is huge and bubbly! It’s perfect for making bubble beards and playing with your bath toys. Mr. Duckelsworth likes it there. I’ve become quite good at the Bubble-Head Charm from playing mermaid in that bath. Only I’m a special mermaid because I don’t want to be icky and scary like real mermaids.
“Thank you, good sir.” I curtsied to Sir Nick.
He bowed in return. Déjà vu? “A pleasure as always, Miss Weasley. Your waltz really has become superb over the years.”
I blushed. “Thanks to your help. Have a nice day!” I always wish the ghosts that. Imagine if you had to have thousands of bad days because you’re already dead and you can’t die again so you’re kind of half-living forever?
Anywho, I decided to walk into the bathroom. How are you supposed to move when you’re going to apologize to a stoat with a nice bum? I could skip afterwards.
“HOLY BLUE WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!?!” I screamed at the sight of Gavin Merisque in the bath.
He stared at me blankly. “I’m taking a bath, Lucy.”
“Oh, right.” I sat down alongside the bath, being ladylike and not staring at his lack of socks among other items of clothing. Why were there no bubbles? The bubbles were the best part!
“Is there a reason why you’ve come in to stare at me? And why you’re wearing a sparkly jumper with unicorns on it?”
I petted my jumper affectionately. “Gran made it for me. I’m not staring!” He has nice arms too. Quidditch player arms. Okay, Quidditch man player arms. My arms don’t look like that. Super muscley women are gross.
Gavin sighed. “Is there a reason why you’ve come in to not stare at me then?”
I looked about wildly. How was I supposed to do this? I sank down on one knee. “You have really nice arms. And a nice bum too, which I’m not staring at now, but I have stared at before. You’re also not a terribly awful guy, and you’re kind of like a saint for putting up with me for all these years. And I’d really like to snog you.”
He smirked, which was nice after all the sulking he’s been doing, which is not nearly as attractive. His smirk has always driven me crazy. “Would you now?”
I nodded eagerly. “You’re also kind of the first human I’ve ever kissed.”
“I’m not going to say anything. Can I ask you to do something first?”
“As long as it’s not gross or deadly.”
“Take off that ridiculous jumper.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, but obeyed. I had a shirt on underneath, of course! Perverts. Why would I start getting naked in the bathroom? “It’s not ridiculous! You know what’s ridiculous? Your stupid ha-Aaaah!”
I meant to say hat. I don’t normally call it a ha-Aaaah. You see, Gavin pulled me by the ankle into the bath. It’s those strong Quidditch arms of his. I was also fully clothed.
“I’m going to kill you.” I muttered.
“You really need to stop threatening to do that before I kiss you.” But he did anyways.
I thought pie and Weasley jumpers were the only things that could give me the warm fuzzies inside. Turned out I was wrong.
Gavin Merisque’s kisses could too.
***
It was rather nice, this whole having a boyfriend thing. They made just as good pillows as Gran did, only a lot more attractive.
“This is nice.” Gavin said, smiling down at me. We were curled up on a couch in front of the fireplace together, my favorite of the locations on our public snogging tour. He petted my hair. Gavin seemed to be rather fond of doing that, and I liked it too. It brought me back to my phase as Pomegranate the dog.
“Woof.”
Gavin didn’t say anything. He was getting some mad skills at ignoring the occasional Lucy Fit of Madness.
“It is nice.” Fred actually let us snog and cuddle in public, possibly because I threatened to lock him in a broom cupboard with Alistair “I Hate Fred Lee Weasley the Second with the Passion of a Romance Novel Woman” Washburn if he didn’t leave us alone.
“Gav?” I was tragically also showing signs of turning into Abby, back in the days when she was half of Abvin. I hadn’t turned into a pony yet, at least. Flipping my mane, yo!
“Since I’m supposed to be the death of you and everything… Would you be my date to Molly’s wedding?”
“Of course.”
“That was too easy. What’s wrong with you?” I demanded.
He laughed, still petting Pomegranate. “I want to see if your family is as bonkers as you are.”
“They’re even more bonkers! Molly almost killed me with this stupid wedding. You really want to die, don’t you? I don’t want you to die!” I held onto him tightly. “I’ll go into snog withdrawal and my lips will fall off! I’ve come too far to end up a nun!”
He kissed my forehead. “Lucy, everything you think is bonkers isn’t actually bonkers. I’ve survived seven years with you and Fred, haven’t I?”
I frowned. “Yes…”
“And you’ve already made me grow back all my bones this year. What can possibly be worse than that?”
“Oh, you foolish, foolish child.” I cackled. “Prepare yourself for death by wedding.”
***
Maybe my final year didn’t turn out exactly the way I had planned way back when I was a midget, but I had learned firsthand that midgets were not to be trusted. They were rather dodgy, blinky little critters that done ruined the prairie.
Snogging has done strange things to Chester Millicent.
Anyways, like I was saying, midget plan was a no go, but Epic Plan Lucy was a win win win! Who needs to be Quidditch captain when you have a very nice boyfriend with a bootilicious bum, and manly Quidditch player arms? Not me, said the flea! Known as Lucy. Who isn’t actually a flea. Wouldn’t that be a crazy twist? It would also make my Pomegranate phase really weird. I mean, a flea pretending to be a dog?
Molly was still bonkers, and my idea of a healthy relationship with her involved locking her up in a trunk and dropping it in the lake. Which isn’t healthy. Unless I ate vegetables in the process.
And the whole forgetting about Gavin Merisque thing? Not going to happen. Not since I found out his kisses are as magical as pie and jumpers.
Now, hopefully he survives my sister’s wedding.
AN: Holy blue, it's over! I hope you liked the final chapter of DGM! The first sequel is already in the process of being written, and I also have several other series up my sleeve that I hope you'll like. Thanks to everyone who has followed Lucy through all this madness! Extra thanks to anyone and everyone who has ever reviewed, and a Weasley bear hug to miss_aurora for being such a faithful reviewer!
My little Lucy is growing up! I might have to go in my emo corner.
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