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Raising Weasels by soccerj18
Chapter 1 : Raising Weasels
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 2

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 It was really getting to be too much. 

Molly Weasley was surrounded by boys. Arthur, in her opinion, was the only male specimen she really needed. But no. They decided to have children. At first, this seemed like a wonderful idea: they could have a little Molly to help with the housework. First there was Bill, their oldest son. Molly and Arthur had been happy enough with the little tyke; he was a sweetheart. But Molly yearned for a daughter, and they tried again. 

They got Charlie. Not that there was anything wrong with Charlie either, except that he was another boy. So they tried again. Percy. And again. Fred and George. And again. Ronald. Now Molly was pregnant again, and she hoped that it was a girl. She wasn’t sure what she would do if there was another boy. She couldn’t take it.

“Molly?” Arthur walked into the room of squalling babies, hesitantly. Honestly, Molly don’t understand why the twins had to keep crying. They would continuously wake Ron until there was a cacophony of sound, echoing across the dingy rooms. Then Percy would start (even though he was five, weren’t five year olds supposed to be quiet?). To top it off, Charlie would then come in and boast about the new robes he had gotten, because he was ‘going to Hogwarts’. Truthfully, Molly would be ecstatic with one less testosterone-filled body in the house. With Bill and Charlie gone, she could almost deal.

“Molly.” Arthur tried again, placing his hand over his wife’s arm. The first touch that they had shared in a long time. It was just too difficult for romance with all the mouths to feed. “Molly, I’ve found you some help.”

“Help?” Molly asked, looking quizzically at Arthur. Did she need help? Her house was just as she liked it, and she wouldn’t like people meddling. Besides, they didn’t have enough money. “We can’t afford help, Arthur.”

“Well, yes.” Arthur hurried to explain, his ears turning red as George began to bawl. Then Fred. Then Ron. Then Percy.  He turned to Molly, alarmed, and the women waved her wand, placing a silencing spell on the children. Probably not the best way to deal with it, but it was efficient. Arthur coughed, then continued. “You see, there’s been this girl that comes and visits the gardens a few time every week. She is really interested with our house, you see, and she has agreed to help with the babies. She’s a muggle.”
“A muggle!” Molly’s shriek was louder than the twins, and the spell broke, causing all of the babies to cry again. Arthur clapped his hands to his ears, but Molly paid no mind. “You think that a muggle can help me!”

“Y-Yes.” Arthur stuttered, looking taken aback. Molly sighed, dragging her husband out of the nursery and slamming the door shut. 

“Arthur, we have two sons who go to a magical school, one son who has begun to show his magical ability, and we’ve got a blasted ghoul in our attic! Do you think that she’s not going to notice anything?”

“Well she’s not very sharp.” Arthur argued weakly. “She wouldn’t notice a thing.” It clicked then, and Molly pointed her wand at her husband.

“You just want her around so you can study her.” She hissed, her wand prodding his chest. “This is another of your experiments. I already let you get the bloody car, why can’t you just leave it at that?”

“Well, you see,” Arthur mumbled, looking taken aback, “I may have already told her she could.”

“You what?” Molly’s voice reached a new level of shrill. Arthur sighed. It was going to be a long week.

The knocking on the front door seemed to be a death warrant to Molly Weasley. Arthur was sitting in the kitchen, reading a muggle newspaper he had found in town the other day. All of the portraits had been spelled to stop moving, and the ghoul had been properly locked up. 

“Charlie, Bill, please remember what I’ve told you.” Molly pleaded with her children, Percy planted on her hip. There was no way she was going to let the muggle chit near her child who was starting to show magical abilities. No, Percy would stay with her for the time being.

“No talking about magic.” Bill recited, bouncing up and down eagerly next to his brother. “Hogwarts isn’t a magic school, it’s a muggle boarding school for extra gifted students. There’s no such things as wands, the pictures don’t move, and we don’t have a ghoul in the attic. And the owl we have isn’t a pet.”

"Good.” Molly replied, patting her eldest son fondly on the cheek. He was a good boy, and she constantly regretted her attempts to try for a girl. She would have been fine with just Bill. Well, maybe Bill and Charlie.

She made her way to the entrance, Charlie and Bill trailing behind, hiding behind her. Opening the door, she was greeted by a young girl, no older than sixteen. She had obviously bleached blonde hair, and looked as if she hadn’t eaten in days. The girl squealed when she caught sight of the three boys.

“They are so adorable!” She cried, leaning down to pinch Bill on the cheek. “What’s your name, sweetie pie?”

“Bill.” Bill responded, grumpy. “And I’m not adorable. I’m thirteen.”

“Of course you are.” The girl cooed, squeezing his cheek harder and bouncing into the house. She patted Percy on the head and pranced towards the kitchen, her eyes glowing in delight as she caught sight of Arthur.

“Mr. Weasley!” She squealed, running over to engulf the man in a hug. Arthur looked up, surprised at his interruption, and tentatively returned the hug. Molly growled.

Molly, this is Kessica Cartwright.” Arthur told his wife, grinning sheepishly. “Kessica this is Molly. And our sons Bill, Charlie, and Percy. The rest our in the nursery.”

“I’ve told you to call me Kessie!” The girl scolded Arthur, bouncing back up. “And I want to meet the rest of them.” She bounced past Molly, pushing open the door of the nursery. Molly pursed her lips but followed the girl in. Fred and George had crawled out of their cribs, and were now grinning evilly into Ron’s. Fred had somehow caught a large spider, and was dangling it in front of the one year old. Ron was bawling.

“Fred! George!” Molly cried. Honestly, those two were going to scar the poor baby. She wouldn’t be surprised if Ron turned out deformed, or deathly afraid of everything. She would have if she had had siblings like the twins. Turning back to the hyper-active muggle girl, Molly pointed to the rest of her sons. “This is Fred and George. And Ron.”

“I’m George!” The one that she had just called Fred complained. “That’s Fred.”

“No!” The other one said, sticking his tongue out at his twin. “I’m George. That’s Fred.”

“Oh, aren’t you two cuties!” Kessica exclaimed, picking both of the boys up and placing them close to her annoyingly large chest. “I could just eat you two right up.”

The twins grinned, smug. “She’s likes me more.” The one that Molly was sure was Fred announced.

“No she likes me more.”  The other one said.

“She likes Fred more.” Molly snapped, sighing as the one she was sure that was George looked indignant. “I knew you were Fred.” She told the other smugly.

“That is no way to treat your children.” Kessica complained, finally noticing the older woman. She looked down at the twins in her arm, bouncing them up and down. “I like you both the same, don’t I?” She kissed both on the forehead. Molly clenched her teeth.

Bill peered into the room, his previous annoyance with the muggle girl dissipated. She was so pretty, and he’d like to show off to her. He knew that mum had said no, but, “Can I show you my wand?”

Molly gasped, shooting her son an irritated look. How was she supposed to play that. Oh yes, my boys just like to play with sticks, you know. A perfectly normal boy thing to do. Not likely.

“Oh, honey, I’m too old for you.” Kessica said, depositing the twins back in the crib and grinning down at Bill. “I like to see boys wands who are my own age. Why don’t you find a fellow six year old to show your wand to?”

“I’m thirteen.” Bill mumbled, reddening. “And maybe I will.” He stalked off. Molly visibly relaxed. Now the muggle thought her sons were perverts, but it was better than the alternative. 

“Mrs. Weasley.” Kessica said, turning to look at the older woman. “I think that you should leave me to watch your kids for the day.” She gave Molly the once over, smirking slightly. “Maybe you could go for a jog or something. You know, trim yourself out a bit.”

“I’m pregnant!” Molly hissed. She wasn’t hefty, not in the least. True, the many pregnancies had forced her to put on a few pounds, but she still considered herself to be relatively fit. In fact, she looked wonderful for having popped out six boys and having a seventh child on the way.

“Right.” Kessica said, pulling out a stick of gum from her pocket and sticking it in her mouth. “Well then, why don’t you go to your knitting circle or something? I’ll watch the tykes.” And now she was insinuating that Molly was old.

“I need to go talk with my husband.” Molly responded shortly. “If you’ll excuse me.” And she stalked out of the nursery, to find Arthur, still at the table, positively beaming.

“She’s wonderful, isn’t she?” He asked, his eyes alight with excitement. “I wonder if she knows what the difference between an ate-oh-mate-ic and a steek-sheeft is in cars. I heard some muggles talking about them the other day and…”

“I’m not sure that she could even tell a car from a cow.” Molly replied snidely, grabbing the muggle newspaper from her husband and chucking it out the window. “I want her out of my house.”


“No Arthur Weasley! I have put up with quite enough from you! Either she gets out of my house now or I will leave!”

“Fine.” Arthur stood up, making his way towards the nursery. He tentatively opened the door, peering in before shutting it rather quickly and turning towards Molly. “Molly, I think you’d better come see.”

Molly did just that, shoving Percy into Arthur’s arms as she made her way back into the nursery. The scene would have been amusing if it wasn’t so gruesome.

Somehow, the twin’s magic had decided to appear at that very moment, and Fred was now sprouting a very ugly gargoyle-esque face. George, on the other hand, had sprouted horns, and was now trying to head butt Kessica. Kessica was running around the room, screaming, and Ron was gurgling happily in his crib. 

“Fred, George!” Molly shouted, giving each of her sons a death glare. Both looked up at her, gulped, and slowly their features returned to normal. Molly sighed, trying to assess the damage. “Kessica, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Your children are heathens!” Kessica cried, her face a deathly pale. “I don’t know where they found those hideous costumes, but they are horribly behaved! You!” She pointed at Molly, “You are a terrible mother! I’m leaving.”

 Molly smiled grimly and opened the nursery door. “Be my guest.” She replied dryly, watching with cool satisfaction as the young muggle made a beeline for the door. Yes, Molly was rather certain that she would never return again. Just in case, however, she decided to look into putting wards around the house. One could never be to careful.

Molly’s mind returned to her new baby. If it were a girl, she would make sure that it was not a bimbo. No, her daughter would be independent.

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