Chapter 1 : A Beautiful Injustice
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I was left in an empty classroom all alone. She left me, Sirius Black. I couldn’t believe it. One minute we were snogging and our hands were roaming around. I could see the lust in her eyes and I could tell that she wanted more. Then, she just stood up and walked to the door. Right before she left, she turned around and asked me to meet her in this classroom tonight at seven. There was no way I could say no to her, not with her long blonde hair, blue eyes, and those lips. Man the things those lips could do! Now to figure out how to ditch my friends tonight and not let them find out about her.
As I walked back to Gryffindor Tower from the third floor classroom, the chill in the corridor made me wish I was back in that room with Kristi. At least then the heat from our bodies and activities were keeping us warm enough. I needed to think of something to tell the guys so they wouldn’t be suspicious about what I am doing tonight. I would never hear the end of it if they found out how deep my feelings are for Kristi, especially James, since I always give him crap about his unrequited love for Lily Evans.
When I finally reached the common room I found James, Remus, and Peter lounging in front of the fireplace like many others were, to get away from the bitter cold that could be felt by the windows. I walked over and sat down next to James on the couch and half tuned into their conversation, the other half was trying to think up excuses for tonight.
I could always tell them I’m going to be doing homework in the library tonight… no that will never work. I never do homework until the night before it’s due and its Friday, so there definitely isn’t any homework due tomorrow. Well how about I tell them I’m going to the kitchens for some food? No then they will insist on coming with me and I would never be able to get to Kristi. How about the Astronomy Tower? They would start asking me questions about who I was going to see then and I really don’t want them to ask me that. I know, detention! I can tell the guy’s I have detention, that’s something that happens a lot for me so they would never question it!
“Don’t you agree Sirius?” James asked me as I was coming out of my thoughts.
“Uuhh.. Agree with what?” I asked back to him. I guess I should have been paying more attention to their conversation.
“That the three of us should become Animagi to help Remus during his transformations.” James stated.
“Oh yeah. That sounds like a great idea!”
“You guy’s becoming Animagi isn’t going to change the fact that I’m a werewolf.” Remus said quietly so as to not alert anyone else to the topic of their conversation.
“We know it’s not going to change that Remus but at least we will be able to help you through it. Besides, if we do this, we won’t have to be sitting in the common room wondering how much pain you’re going through and how alone you must feel being locked away from the rest of the world. We will be able to be there with you through it.” James shot back just as quietly.
“Just accept the fact that we want to be there for you Remus.” Peter stated from his spot across from me. He surprisingly had some good comments and suggestions from time to time, and this was one of those times.
“If someone finds out that you three are trying to be Animagi, you could get in a lot of trouble for not registering.” Remus stated trying to convince us that it’s a bad idea.
“Well Remus, who’s going to find out about us being Animagi? The only people that need to know are the four of us and I don’t see any of us turning ourselves in.” I shot back.
There is no way he is going to convince us that this is a bad idea. We have been trying to think of different ways we could help him during his transformation, and being Animagi is the best idea we thought of. It allows us to be there with him, and if we happen to get bitten in animal form the werewolf bite wouldn’t make us become werewolves as well. Plus it would mean that Remus wouldn’t be alone during his transformations and the rest of his night in the Shrieking Shack. Besides, if we were caught after hours in our animal forms, the teachers would never know that it was actually us instead of real animals.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw James’s hand shoot up to his unruly black hair and make it even messier. Lily Evans must be somewhere near because he does that as soon as his eye catches her. It’s a nervous reaction of his, and he is the most nervous when Lily is around. Sure enough, Lily had just entered the common room with her two friends, Tracy and Abigail. Those three girls were a force to be recognized. They each brought something to their group that made them stand out and be admired by both guys and girls. The guys wanted to date them and the girls wanted to be them.
“James back in the room please.” I said trying to break him out of his trance.
“Yeah I know Sirius, it’s a lost cause and I should just give up and move on. But there is just something about her that draws me in and wont let me back out.” James responded a little dejectedly. I could tell that he was still enraptured by her presence, so I figured I would let him pine over her while I talk with the other two. He’ll come around sooner or later.
I tried to not make it seem like I was nervous and if the guys noticed they didn’t say anything about it. I just couldn’t help it though, Kristi was gorgeous and tonight I was going to be losing my virginity to her. If I was honest with myself I would admit that this thought actually scared me to death. Would she be able to tell that I didn’t have any experience? Would it be horrible for me? Would it be horrible for her? Would she make fun of me if she knew just how nervous I am for tonight? What if I do it wrong? Can you do it wrong? How would I know if she is enjoying it, or if it hurts, or what she likes or hates? These thoughts were not helping me at all. I needed to do something to get my mind off of it.
“Let’s go wander the halls before dinner time. See if we can run into any Slytherins, maybe play a prank on them.” I said trying to keep myself busy so I don’t keep thinking of all the things that could go wrong tonight. Plus, this would also get James’s mind off of Lily.
“Sure, I’m in Sirius. What type of prank are you thinking we should pull on them tonight? Are we going to mess with their food? Or are we going to make them sing something really ridiculous?” Peter asked excitedly.
“No. I’m thinking they need a new hair style. Maybe a new color or cut?” I threw out there. “James what do you think?”
“You know me Sirius. I can’t turn down a prank especially if I can get Snivellus. Maybe I should actually make his hair clean. That would be horrible for him and a blessing for everyone else!” James stated as he stood up. I could tell he was itching to leave and if we didn’t go soon, he would leave without us.
The three of us followed James out the portrait and into the corridors. We figured we wouldn’t really run into any Slytherins up here but we probably would closer to the Great Hall. But in the mean time, anyone that crossed our path was going to be very unfortunate and would be getting a great new hair color!
By the time we reached the Great Hall, we had successfully given fourteen people a new hair color. The colors ranged from normal hair colors such as black, brown, or blonde to more interesting hair colors such as pink, orange, green, blue, red, and purple. Although James still hadn’t run into Snivellus yet to give him his new hair color. For him we were thinking Gryffindor colors, some red and some yellow.
James wanted us to hang outside the Great Hall to wait for Snivellus so that way he could have his new hairdo before he went to eat. Remus checked inside the Great Hall to make sure that he didn’t already beat us here; which he hadn’t. Peter was the first to see him. We made sure we were well hidden behind the stairs so that Snivellus wouldn’t be able to see us but that we still had a view of the door to the Great Hall and wouldn’t have anything in our way for the spell. James said the spell quietly and it hit his target right before he walked into the Great Hall. We figured we would wait a few more minutes before entering, letting a few other people walk in before us that way it would be harder for them to pinpoint us as the culprits for Snivellus’ new hair color. Although, all the other people with new hair colors as well could easily pinpoint us as the culprits.
I knew that as soon as I finished eating I would be heading up to the classroom on the third floor to meet up with Kristi, so I tried my hardest to keep up with the conversation and not let myself over think everything that was going to happen tonight. But that was a hard task in and of itself. Although I did manage to do it. I laughed in all the right parts of the conversation, I gave my own opinion, I ate like I normally did, and I did manage to push all thoughts and concerns about tonight out of my mind. That was until we all got up to leave then all the thoughts came rushing back with a force. We were all headed to the door and I knew that I had to tell them my excuse soon. I had decided that I was going to tell them I had detention in the Potions classroom so that we wouldn’t be going in the same direction.
“Hey guys, I uh, I have to go check up on Regulus something about a family meeting or something.” I got out of there quickly and then rushed off towards the Potions classroom which was also in the same direction as the Slytherin common room.
There is no way they bought that excuse. They have to know I was lying to them I’m always telling them how much I hate Regulus and that I don’t care about my family so why would I care about a stupid family meeting. Great they are going to want me to explain to them where I really went tonight and once I start telling them, they aren’t going to quit asking me questions.
I quickly did a turn around to go back up stairs into the Great Hall so that I could make it up to the third floor classroom that Kristi asked me to meet her at. Every step I took made me that much more nervous. By the time I made it to the classroom my stomach was a bundle of nerves and I honestly wasn’t sure if I would be able to go through with anything tonight.
The classroom was still empty when I got there so she must have been taking her time at dinner with her friends. She will probably be here soon. While I sat there at the front desk waiting for Kristi to arrive I remembered the first time that I bumped into her this year.
The last class of the day had just gotten out and it was the beginning of October so it wasn’t too cold outside, so the guys and I took our time getting back into the building from Care of Magical Creatures. We were joking around the whole time not really paying attention to where we were going, it wasn’t like we had anything that needed to be done for tomorrow, since it was officially the weekend and it was going to be a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow. I was really happy about it since I was in need of a trip to Zonko’s joke shop to stock up on some of my supplies. After the last prank that we had played on the Slytherins, I was almost out of dung bombs and wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t run out of them since we use them quite frequently in our pranks. I was also thinking of picking up some Fanged Frisbees, I’m sure we could think of something to do with them.
“Hey what are you guys doing in Hogsmeade tomorrow?” Peter asked us.
“I’m planning on going to the Three Broomsticks for a while and having a Butterbeer. After that I’ll probably head to Honeydukes to get some more chocolate. The full moon is coming up soon and I will want some for the next day. Then I will head over to get some more parchment and ink. I’m almost out of both.” Remus replied.
“My first stop will be Zonko’s for some Dungbombs and Fanged Frisbees and who knows what else I will find while I’m there. Then I’ll probably join Remus for some Butterbeer and to go to Honeydukes as well. One can never have enough candy.” I stated and then turned to James. “What are you planning on doing James?”
“Well right now I don’t have anything set in stone, but later tonight I’m going to ask Lily to go out on a date with me while we are there. I just know she is going to say yes this time. At least I hope she does.” James said sounding a little more dejected towards the end.
“Why don’t you go ask her now? She is right over there with her friends.” Peter pointed out to James.
“Yeah I think I will. Thanks Peter.” James responded as he started walking towards the girls.
I sighed as I watched him walk away. He was only setting himself up for heartbreak. I really did hope that Lily would say yes this time because James was no fun when he had to deal with a rejection from her. None of us knew why Lily was so dead set against dating James, but she was. And Lily made sure to voice her opinions loudly and many times so that as many people as possible could hear them.
The three of us stopped as soon as James made it over to Lily so we could hear what they say. Just as James was starting to ask Lily out, someone ran right into me. I turned around quickly to give them a piece of my mind but the words were caught in my throat. It was a really good looking girl that had ran into me. I knew that I couldn’t say anything rude to her. Not with that innocent round face, those big blue eyes that just seemed to captivate me, and those really long legs of hers. Everything about her seemed to draw me into her. And when she started to speak her voice was so melodic. Then I realized that I had been staring at her and completely missed what she was saying to me.
“Sorry I didn’t quite catch that. What did you say?” I asked her. I’m sure she knew exactly why I didn’t hear her and her friends that stood behind her knew as well since I could hear them giggle.
“I said that I was sorry about running into you. I wasn’t really looking where I was going because I was trying to explain something to my friends and then next thing I know I ran right into you. By the way, my name is Kristi. You’re Sirius Black right?” The beautiful girl whom I now knew was named Kristi told me.
“Yes, I am the one and only Sirius Black.” I stated.
“Well it was nice meeting you Sirius. Maybe we will run into each other again, and I don’t mean literally like today.” Kristi said and then they started walking away to go inside, but before they made it to the door the screaming started.
“You are such an arrogant toe-rag James Potter. How many times do I have to tell you that I will not date you before you get that through your stupid big head?” Lily Evans yelled at James even though he was only a couple of inches away from her.
“What did I do wrong Evans? Why can’t you just give me one chance? That’s all I’m asking for is just one chance to prove to you that I’m worth it.” James said calmly back to her although I could hear the sadness in his voice that she was turning him down once again.
“Just leave me alone Potter there is nothing you can do to get a chance with me.” She shouted to him and then stocked off with her friends into the Entrance Hall.
I watched James stand there alone. It was always hard for me to watch him after Lily tells him no because you could see how distraught he was that she wouldn’t give him a chance. The guys and I walked over to James and ushered him inside. We made sure to not go straight up to Gryffindor Tower where Lily would probably be hanging out in the common room, so instead we went down to the Kitchens which we had recently discovered.
I was quickly returned to the classroom on the third floor when I heard someone clear their throat. Of course it was Kristi standing there right in front of me. I wondered how long she had been standing there while I was thinking about the first time we met. My throat was starting to feel dry and all those thoughts that I had been trying to suppress came back with a vengeance. I was so nervous for what was about to happen but then when Kristi smiled at me; I knew that it would be fine. Kristi quickly cast a silencing charm around the room so that if any teachers were to walk by they wouldn’t hear any noises coming from here and get suspicious.
We didn’t share any words between the two of us and if we had, she would have been able to know how nervous I was just from the quiver that I’m sure would have been present in my voice. And when her lips touched mine, I knew that I was ready for this. I didn’t need to think about anything because it just happened. As things started getting heavier I realized how happy I was that I was sharing this experience with Kristi. I loved her and I hoped that she would love me back as well.
As we laid there on the floor in one of the third floor classrooms, I decided that I would give cuddling a try. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with that. Usually girls are all about cuddling. I pulled Kristi to me and put my arm around her, surprisingly I liked the way it felt. To be able to be close to a girl and doing something that’s so innocent but yet intimate at the same time was a new experience. Then I let those three words slip out of my mouth.
“I love you.” I breathed into her ear. I must have caught her off guard because next thing I knew she was throwing my arm off of her, stood up, and started putting her clothes back on.
“Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough?” I asked her as all my fears had come back to me.
“Sirius I never wanted you! All I wanted was the sex and guess what I got it!” She yelled to me.
“You don’t mean that Kristi, I know you don’t.” I pleaded to her.
“Yes Sirius I do mean that. This was all a game for me. Heck for my friends too. This was a dare from them; see if you can get Sirius Black to have sex with you. That’s all this was, a dare. This meant nothing more and neither do you. So get that through your head. I won’t be coming back to you.” Kristi stated and then walked out the door.
I was completely shocked. Never had I expected that this would happen to me. I’m Sirius Black. The girls are supposed to want me, not use me. Rage over took me next as I threw one of the chairs around the room. It just wasn’t fair! How could she do this to me? I had been devoted and had given her anything she asked of me. Why was this happening? My rage slowly turned to depression as I thought about everything I had done for her, done to her. She was the first person I had loved and she threw it back in my face. This was all a joke to her. I was nothing more then a dare her friends had set out for her.
As I walked out of the third floor classroom I came to a realization. They say that guys are only after one thing but girls are worse, much worse. Girls string you along and make you think that they truly want you for more then sex. And when you are finally wrapped completely around their finger, they go and tell you that you mean nothing to them. But if that’s how the girls are going to be, then you won’t see me falling for another one again! I can string them along and make them want me. Never again will you hear Sirius Black say ‘I love you’ to another girl again. I will get back at them all and make them see what they are missing. I, Sirius Black, will not fall in love again.
AN: Thanks to everyone on the forums who helped me get through this oneshot and gave me some awesome ideas and encouragement to finish this! Also thanks to Long_Live_Luna_Bellatrix and PrincessPadfoot for being my betas and for the help you gave me.