Chapter 1 : Human Nature
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Ambrosia Annabeth Flynn (if you value your life, don't call her that)
I wonder what goes through my mind sometimes when I decide to come up with my harebrained schemes.
I swear they made sense before they got all crazy.
Yeah, long before.
Anyways, no time to worry about that, I just have to worry about not being caught
And the chances of that are looking very unlikely.
And I can’t get caught. Achilles would kill me.
But I have to help out! I need to make sure Achilles gets the girl of his dreams! He deserves it! I know he told me not to meddle... But, I couldn’t help myself!
If I had a sickle for every time I was told not to meddle, I’d be the richest witch in the Wizarding World. But I just can’t help it. It’s in my human nature. I feel compelled to try to help out. And usually, it works pretty well... Not this time.
Because Albus Potter decided to tag along and he just doesn’t seem to know when to shut up.
“Fruity, can’t we just-“
“SH!” I silenced Al before he’d blow our cover. Al huffed indignantly.
For a very attractive male, he sure did act like a little girl sometimes.
“This is getting a little bit ridiculous,” Al pointed out, trying to get my attention but I waved him off.
I agreed with him there. I didn’t really plan to be sitting beside Al Potter, in a bush (especially the Al part). I was thinking something a tad bit more romantic and less thorny. And you know, him declaring his undying love for me, a proposal perhaps in the rain. Then maybe we’d have a good snog after that...
Ahem. Moving on...
Yes. Me, bush, Albus Potter. You see, there’s a perfectly good explanation for all this. My older brother (AKA Achilles) and coincidentally, Al’s best mate, was currently ‘studying Potions’ with Rose Weasley (AKA the love of his life). Trust me, after quite literally years of pining for this girl (and no I do not exaggerate) everyone wants to see how this turns out.
How could you not want to spy on that?
Probably most sane people don’t, but what can I say? Sanity and I don’t really see eye to eye.
Besides, normality is so boring.
Insanity is where it’s at.
... I’m such a bad influence to youth everywhere...
“Fruity, you’re sitting on my foot,” Al whispered and I shot him an evil glare.
“Well, you’re poking me with your elbow!”
“I am not! My elbow’s right- Oh. Never mind.”
“Idiot,” I muttered quietly, turning my attention back to the couple sitting underneath the tree by the black lake. It was a beautiful day. The sun danced through the tree leaves and the birds were chirping. Rose Weasley threw her head back at something Achilles had said which probably wasn’t that funny. I grew up with the bloke and I was definitely the funny one.
I am! Seriously!
... Shut it.
Achilles smiled adoringly at her as he leaned back on the heels of his hands. His light brown hair glowed in the sunlight and he said something to Rose again. Rose laughed and smacked him playfully on the arm, her pretty, freckled, delicate face delighted.
God, this was disgusting.
Remind me, why I’m here again?
Oh right. I’m concerned for the wellbeing of my brother.
Well, kind of, anyways.
“Fruity, they’re just talking, why do we need to watch this?” Al sighed exasperatedly. Unfortunately, he was rather familiar with my ridiculous antics which tended to involve me meddling into things that I really had no business in.
Can we just say that I am very concerned for others?
“Al, I love you and I’d hate to see you die, but you’re bitching is really getting on my last nerve,” I said sweetly (hopefully), batting my dark eyelashes at him. Al visibly gulped.
Oh yeah, be afraid.
Then his handsome features pulled into a smile. His dazzling white smile was carefree and effortless.
Why is he so darn loveable?
“Alright, no more complaining for me. But only because I love you,” he replied with a grin, patting down my deep brown straight hair condescendingly.
I wish when he said that, he’d meant it.
Because I did entirely.
But he can never know that.
It’s fine, really. I’ll just keep pining after him. It’s fine. Al will never see me as anything other than his mate (I’m certain he thinks I’m a bloke). He’ll probably get snatched up by some sane, pretty blonde girl and they’ll live happily ever after. I’ll become a crazy cat lady with twenty-three cats. I think I’ll name eight of them Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti and Do the second.
I’ve been planning that since I was a four.
Bloody hell. I’m off my rocker.
No wonder Al doesn’t like me.
I’m completely mental.
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t need to stay, if I’m too much of a hassle. I’m fine on my own, Al.”
Al grinned. “Now what kind of friend would I be if I ditched my little Ambrosia in a bush?”
I scowled at him. Personally, I wasn’t a fan of my name. You wouldn’t either if your name was Ambrosia. For Merlin’s sake, it’s the name of a sodding fruit salad... And it kind of sounds like an infectious disease.
I sound like an infectious disease.
“I’m not four, Al,” I retorted exasperatedly. I hated being taken care of, especially since I already had Achilles whose life mission was to make sure I would never fall into harm’s way. I am a strong, fully capable female who is able to manage her own life. “I can sit by myself in a bush spying on my older brother without getting into any trouble-“
“I’m curious to what part of that sentence made sense to you,” Al laughed loudly, forgetting that Rose and Achilles were just on the other side of the bush.
“Did you hear that?” Rose’s voice asked concerned.
I quickly jumped on Al (receiving many scratches from the bush) and covered his mouth with my hand, silencing him. I now had him pinned to the ground so that I was lying on top of him and he was squirming beneath me.
“What was that?”
Al’s gorgeous emerald green eyes went wide. I glared at him and mouthed, ‘Shut up.’ Al nodded slowly and we both held our breath, listening carefully. I lowered myself so that my head was pressed against his chest.
You know, if I wasn’t terrified for my life, I would probably be really enjoying myself.
“I didn’t hear anything, Rose,” Achilles’ deep voice said slowly.
“I swear I heard something!” Rose insisted.
“Well then, just ignore it.”
“What if it’s some psychotic killer on the loose?” Rose asked worriedly. “He could jump out and Avada Kedavra us! I’m too young to die, Achilles! NEWTs are next year! I can’t die! My entire family will miss me! OH MY GOSH! Achilles! We have to run! The killer could be right on the other side of that bush! What if he attacks?”
Would you look at that? She’s barmy too!
Good choice in females, Achilles.
“Well then, I’ll just have to protect you,” Achilles replied huskily.
Oh God, gag me. My brother’s trying to be sexy.
Rose giggled and turned her attention back to their Potions’ assignment, listing off the ingredients for Polyjuice Potion.
I waited in terrifying silence before I let out a deep breath.
Sweet mother of Merlin, that was close. I looked down to Al who was still apprehensively listening. He seemed to come to the conclusion that we weren’t in any immediate danger and looked down to my hand, raising his eyebrows telling me to move my hand. I pulled my hand off his mouth, wiping it on my robes and he grinned at me.
“That was a little too close,” he whispered in my ear, causing shivers to erupt down my neck.
Ugh, I sound like a lovesick teenage girl.
I nodded fervently. “Next time, keep your mouth shut.”
“How about next time, you stay out of others people’s business?” Al suggested helpfully.
I blinked innocently at him. “Do you know me at all?”
Al paused. “You’re right, that’s not happening. It’s in your human nature to help people.”
“With pleasure, ma’am.”
“I’m going to get off you now.”
“That probably would be best.”
“Try not to get us caught.”
“On it, sergeant.”
“You’re an idiot, you know that?”
“Don’t burden me with you idiocy.”
I rolled off Al and he sat up, peering through the branches. I sighed tiredly as I watched Al. He scratched his messy mop of black hair and pursed his dark eyebrows together.
He’s so adorable when he’s spying.
... I say platonically.
Who am I kidding? I say that as non-platonically as possible.
“I think they’re leaving,” Al noted quietly. I scrambled on top of Al’s back attempting to see through the gap of branches.
“Fruity!” he cried in outrage.
“Let me see! Let me see!” I hissed, trying to push Al out of the way. Al shrugged me off.
“What are they saying?” I asked still trying to see past Al, but Al just shook his head.
“They’re speaking too quietly,” Al answered, “He either said, ‘I had a great time’ or ‘I ate a green lime.’”
I rolled my eyes and smacked him on the back of the head. He yelped quietly.
At least the boy was learning how to shut up.
“That counts as physical assault,” Al informed me as I irritably sighed.
“Never mind that! What’s happening!?”
Al squinted and pushed his hair out of his face. “Well,” he started, “Rosie seems to be giggling-“
“Merlin, that girl giggles a lot,” I commented. Al blatantly ignored me.
“-Achilles is saying something.” Al mouthed something. “It looks like he’s saying, ‘You are so beautiful.’”
“Cheesy, man,” I muttered, shaking my head disappointedly at my brother’s pathetic attempts.
“He’s leaning in!” Al whisper-yelled angrily, glaring at what I assumed to be Achilles.
“He’s WHAT!?” I hissed in disbelief, trying again to push Al out of the way, but he refused to budge. “Al, move!”
“He better not- My baby cousin!” Al whispered furiously to himself as I continued to push him down. Then he stopped glaring and suddenly said, “Oh.”
“Oh?” I repeated frantically. “What, ‘oh?’ What’s wrong? Al!” Al was staring dumbly through the bush.
“Rose leaned away,” he answered frowning.
“She WHAT!?” I yelled a little too loudly. Thankfully, Achilles and Rose seemed to be preoccupied.
“Achilles is apologizing,” Al continued, not taking his eyes off them. “Rose is shaking her head and saying something.”
“WHAT!? What’s she saying?”
“Keep your knickers on, Fruity!” Al said. “I think she’s saying, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I-“
Al stopped and frowned. I think I was hyperventilating.
“Al! You can’t just do this to me! Spit it out, man! What’s she saying!?” I shrieked hysterically.
“’I have a boyfriend,’” he finished looking at me solemnly.
“She’s got a what now?”
Al blinked in confusion, pursing his eyebrows together. His mouth was hanging open in shock.
At this point, I was genuinely concerned for Al’s state of mind.
“Al, are you okay?” I asked slowly as Al continued to stare at me. I tugged gently on the sleeve of his robes, but he still didn’t answer. I waved a hand cautiously in front of his blank face.
“Al? Al? Anybody home?”
“Al. Speak to me,” I said a little desperately. “One word so I know that you’re alive.” Al tilted his head a little and opened his mouth.
“I’m going to kill that RUDDY BASTARD!” Al bellowed and jumped to his feet, completely disregarding our hiding spot.
“Al!” I yelled alarmed and then followed his actions. Al was whipping his head around wildly. Praise Merlin that Achilles and Rose had both left.
That would’ve been embarrassing.
... Yes, because this wasn’t.
“Al, CALM DOWN!” I shouted in his face, but he strode purposefully away. I yelped in surprise and followed him screaming.
I loved Al to bits (literally), but if there was one thing he needed to control it was his temper. Fortunately, he didn’t really have the muscle to back it up. He had muscle, but it was in a sort of scrawny way. He was on the Quidditch team, but he was only the seeker. How much physical prowess did that actually require?
“Where is that bloody girl?” Al muttered to himself as I ran behind him. “I’m going to find this bloke and I’m going to-“
Al looked like he was out for blood. Rarely had I ever seen him this mad.
“Al, stop it!” I shrieked and flung myself onto his back, trying to pull him to the ground. Al stumbled a bit then continued to walk towards the castle even with the mental howler monkey on his back.
... I think I need to put on some weight.
“Al, be rational for two fucking seconds!” I shouted in his ear. He winced.
Yeah! I hope you went deaf!
“You can’t just waltz into the school and demand Rose to tell her who her boyfriend is!”
“Like hell, I can’t!” Al yelled back.
“AL! She has a boyfriend! It’s not the end of the world!” I reasoned, but Al wasn’t having any of it.
“It’ll be the end of his world!” Al snapped back ‘frighteningly’. Not really though, Al looks like a puppy – a very cute puppy that is just too bloody loveable-
“You don’t even know who he is!” I hollered exasperatedly. I tried to ignore the strange looks we were getting from the students trying to enjoy their nice fall day. “You’re being fucking ridiculous!”
“Some prick is probably shagging Rose! She’s like my little sister!” he cried dramatically.
“She’s a big girl, she can handle herself!” I yelled, trying to balance myself on his back which was proving to be very difficult as he would not stay fucking still.
“No! She can’t! All guys want to do is get in girls’ pants!”
“Are you saying you just want to get in girls’ pants?” I snapped back, shooting daggers at him.
“I-I, NO! But that’s different!” he spluttered indignantly.
“Right,” I snorted (my God, am I attractive).
“Fruit, if you’re not going to help me slaughter the sleaze, get off my back.”
“No,” I replied firmly, gripping on tighter to his back.
“I’m not kidding.”
“Neither am I.”
“I don’t need any of your negativity, Ambrosia Annabeth Flynn,” he bit back scathingly. I narrowed my eyes dangerously at him.
He did NOT just go there.
The full name is not to be toyed with.
So you want to play, Al?
“ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER, you did not just go there!”
Al stopped abruptly (thankfully, I am a ninja and didn’t fall off of his back) and glared at me.
I actually fell off his back when Al shoved me unceremoniously off of his back and I landed firmly on my butt.
Thanks, Al. I love you too.
... I actually do.
But don’t tell him that.
“You are not allowed to use the full name,” he said darkly, narrowing his eyes at me. “No one’s allowed to use the full name.” I grinned cheekily at him from my pathetic position on the grass.
“If you can, so can I,” I said pointedly.
“Your name is not nearly as bad,” he argued, crossing his arms like a child.
“It is so!” I yelled in outrage. “Ambrosia on its own is a million times worse than Albus Severus.”
“It is not!”
“Whatever you say, Ambrosia Annabeth.”
“Do you want to fight!?”
“Bring it, bitch!”
Al squealed in shock (like a little girl, I might add) as I tackled Al to the ground. I easily wrestled him so that his stomach was against the grass and that his arms we pushed behind his head. I sat comfortably on his back as he struggled under my weight.
I make Quidditch players fall to my awesome strength.
Bow down to me and all my 5’3” glory.
Shut up. It's not my fault I'm that short. That’s the best I could do.
“So, what do you have to say now, Al?” I asked smirking as Al tried to roll out from under me.
Al groaned loudly. “Yournamesworse,” he mumbled in a resigned sigh.
“I’m sorry; could you speak up, love?” I taunted, thoroughly enjoying every moment. Al wiggled again underneath me, realized the attempt was futile then sighed loudly.
“Fruit salad!” Al declared, loud enough for all surrounding students to glare at us.
Oh. My. Merlin.
Please, don’t, Al.
I value what little dignity I have.
“You have the foulest name in the entire Wizarding World! My small sufferings of bearing my slightly odd, yet not substantially, name pale in comparison to your horrid one! Please accept my humblest apologies!”
... I have no dignity left.
Ah well, I didn’t have much to begin with...
“Overkill, Al,” I muttered embarrassedly, quickly looking around at the confused and amused students.
Don’t laugh at my embarrassment! That’s just rude.
I could only see the back of Al’s crazy, messy (yet still oddly attractive) head and I could tell he was smirking.
“Um, can you get off me now, Fruit?” Al asked politely.
“Have you calmed down yet?”
“No need to kill anyone?”
“Not at all.”
“Merlin, Fruit! Don’t you trust me?”
I frowned and thought about it. “No”
"I'm going to get off you if you promise not to cause any mahem."
"I promise, Fruity."
“But will you help me find Rose?” Al asked eagerly. I scowled.
“Do you swear not to beat up her boyfriend?”
“Al,” I warned.
“Fine,” he said resignedly.
I let him up hesitantly, climbing off him as he popped to his feet.
“Alright, let’s find Rosie!” he announced and began to stride towards the castle. I walked quickly beside him, trying to keep up with his fast pace.
“You overbearing males really need to learn how to let it go,” I muttered annoyed. I pushed my brown straight hair out of my face. “It gets annoying, really.”
Al grinned and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. My stomach tightened excitedly.
“We need to watch out for our girls!” Al declared like a dork. “I’d do the exact same for you, Fruity!”
My stomach twirled into knots. “You would?”
“Of course!” he replied incredulously. “You know I love you, Fruity! You’re my best mate!”
I grinned. Despite already knowing that information (being his best mate), it was nice to hear it once and a while.
And he said ‘I love you’ again!
You know what? Maybe I do have a shot with Al! The happily ever after dream is still alive!
“I’d protect you just like you were my own sister!”
I hate my life.
I know, I know, I already ranted to you guys at the top, but I'd love to hear some feedback on the story! :D:D PLEASE! The review box is crying for some loving! :D