Chapter 3 : Chapter 2 - Just Watch: what happens when I try to do the right thing.
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A/N: This chapter was Beta'd my the totally awesome: MrsJaydeMalfoy. Now I know that this is mostly just filler, but I would still love to hear your thoughts on it. This chapter took a totally different direction than I intended it to while writing it - but I still think I'm happy with the results... What do YOU think of it? I'll nver know if you don't tell me, haha!!! ^_~
Normally, that would have been the end of it... Because nothing says 'I never want to see you again' more clearly than a peanut-butter & jelly sandwich to the hair, right? (And it was perfect hair at that, I should remind you.) But alas; that never really has been the case with me and Lysander. I simply just cannot seem to stay mad at that boy, no matter how hard I try.
But even though I was trying extremely hard this time, one week was the longest I was able to stay mad at him for. I decided it would be best to apologize in person, but finding a moment alone with one of the most popular guys in school can prove to be a rather difficult task, especially when said boy had been doing his best to avoid you all week. It was because of this fact that I found myself getting up at seven o'clock in the morning - on a Saturday mind you - to go downstairs and try to corner him at breakfast in the Great Hall.
Lysander goes downstairs to have an early breakfast almost every single day, including on the weekends. He says he likes to eat so early because when the Great Hall is so peaceful, still and quite, it helps him to clear his mind before starting out the day. I, however, am not a morning person, so don't expect me to understand this. Typically, I can be counted on for waiting until the last minute to get out of bed whenever I can help it. As a result of this, I am almost always late for everything... Oops!
Sure enough, I found him sitting at the Ravenclaw table with his identical twin brother, Lorcan. Given that this was a Saturday, and not a weekday, the Great Hall was exceptionally empty. Which is, of course, precisely the reason why I dragged myself out of bed so early to go down there. Fewer witnesses if something should go horribly wrong, you see. What? I have a reputation to maintain, you know. I'm in Slytherin, and we Slytherins don't make it a habit of going around and apologizing for things. Not even when we know we were absolutely, positively, flat-out in the wrong.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Perhaps this was going to be a lot harder than I thought. But before I even had time to begin to talk myself out of it, I saw Lorcan nudge Lysander and the both of them turned to look in my direction. Great, so there was definitely no turning back now. Perfect. Hopefully there was a chance he wouldn’t still be too mad at me though. Who knows, right? I tossed my head up high in an attempt to look confident as I strode down the isle toward them.
"Malfoy," Lysander acknowledged me as I approached them. Ouch, now that one stung a bit. "Honestly, I'm surprised to see you up and out of bed so soon after sunup. Aren't you some sort of a vampire in another life?"
Ok, so he was most certainly still mad at me. But even then, I still don't believe I quite deserved that bitter tone. "Oh, haha, that's very funny. Yes, this is a miracle, I know, and on a Saturday too," I said with a chuckle, in an attempt to lighten the mood some. Yeah, that didn't work as well as I thought it would.
"Come to throw some more food at me?" he hissed. "Maybe you'll actually manage to hit my face this time."
"Oh no, I was meaning to aim for the top of your head when I did that. Your face was never my intended target, you see," I blurted out in defense, before I could even stop myself. Damn it all, I really should learn to control my temper. I could tell I'd crossed the line (again) because he looked a little bit hurt.
"You know, Malfoy, I really don't understand you sometimes," he said, calling me by my last name. Again. "Why on earth would you get yourself out of bed at this hour, just to come down here and start your shit with me again? Can't you do this during the day, when you are so clearly functioning at your best?"
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get my emotions under control. "Actually, I've come here in peace this morning," I managed to say through grit teeth. "I just want to talk to you; like a civil human being, and nothing more." He looked me over for a moment, as though checking to make sure wasn’t hiding any food behind my back. I couldn’t help but smile at this. Leave it to Lysander to be concerned with the safety of his perfect hair at a time like that.
"There, you see?" I said, holding my hands up in a surrender-like gesture, just to prove to him that I was indeed not holding onto anything that he might consider to be highly dangerous. "I do come in peace, honestly. I just want to talk."
For a few tense seconds, he did nothing but stare at me... Then finally, he let his breath out slowly, and I relax a bit at this. I know him, and this is usually his sign of surrender. "Well sit down then," he suddenly snapped at me. "People are staring."
Looks like I wasn’t the only one there who seemed to be concerned with their reputation that day. I silently obeyed though, taking my usual seat on his right side. "Right then," I said awkwardly, folding my hands in front of me on the table. "Umm..."
Lorcan was still staring daggers at me; which I found to be rather disturbing, so I used Lysander to block myself from his view. That did nothing to change the fact that he was still there, however. "Why don't you just hurry up and say whatever it is you came here to say, Malfoy. I can't speak for my brother here, of course, but I for one would like to be able to finish my breakfast in peace."
If one of them addresses me by my last name one more time, I swear to Merlin I'm gonna...
"Relax Lor," Lysander said defensively. Hey look! He's sticking up for me now. That's got to count for something, right? But then he turned on me, and I could tell there was definitely some serious animosity in his eyes still. "What exactly is it that you want, Sandreiah? You said you wanted to talk; so talk. Get on with it - spit it out already."
"Enough!" I said, putting a hand up to silence him. I cannot believe I convinced myself to get out of bed for this. Have I mentioned to you yet that I am NOT a morning person? Pissing me off first thing at the start of the day is never a very good thing to do. "You know, I came down here because I thought I would be the bigger person and do the right thing. But you two are both making it extremely difficult to do that, you know!"
"What the hell are you even going on about, Sandy?" Lysander demanded.
"Well I am only trying to apo-" I lowered my voice that that no one at any of the other tables could overhear me. "-apologize to you, because I realize now that I might have overacted a bit last Saturday."
"A bit?" Lorcan interjected.
"This doesn't even concern you Lorcan," I snapped. "So why don't you just stay the bloody hell out of it!"
"How dare you speak to me like that! I oughtta --"
"-- ENOUGH!" Lysander yelled, cutting his brother off. "Just knock it off already; both of you! You're acting like children, and I've had enough of it already. Lorcan; just let her talk so that she can leave. And Sandy; do try to make this quick, would you? I'd really appreciate it if this conversation could be over - the sooner the better."
While Lysander had his back turned to him; Lorcan stuck his tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes in response, choosing to ignore him this time. I bit back my retort and nodded my head a few times in reply to Lysander. "Well, as I was saying," I paused to glare at Lorcan. "I realize now that I might have been in the wrong. I didn't take your feelings into consideration when I became judgmental of your decision to join The Preparation."
And then, suddenly, the most unlikely thing of all happened. Lorcan did a complete one-eighty and, before I knew it, he was on my side for a change.
"The Preparation?" he said, sloping a bit of pumpkin juice on his front as he laughed at his twin. "You are thinking about joining them? You must be joking, Ly!" I was so shocked all I could do was stare at him with my mouth gaping wide open. "Bro, come on, you and I both know that you're not exactly The Preparation's type. I mean; no offence man, but you're not entirely cut out for that sort of thing."
I saw my chance and hurried to grab hold of it before it slipped away. "That is exactly what I was trying to tell him, but then he flipped out and started yelling about how I was being unsupportive of his future goals."
"But the Preparation?" Lorcan skeptically repeated. "Tell me you weren't being serious about all that, Ly."
"Well I first I was, yeah." I could already tell by his tone that Lysander felt attacked, and for one split second, I almost felt sorry for him... But then I remembered what a jerk was being and that feeling quickly vanished. "I mean, could you imagine how proud dad would be if I actually got in? Not to mention the fact that it give me enough gold to buy my own place and have my own life after my three years of service were up."
"Yeah, but what would you do if another war actually did get started somehow during those three years of yours, huh?" Lorcan questioned. "I mean, let's face it; you're not really the 'war' type, are you?"
This is why, on most good days, I absolutely love Lorcan. He has a way of explaining things that I can't even begin to fathom. I may know Lysander Scamander inside and out, and be able to get him more that even his own parents do sometimes. But even still, I will never be able to compare to the level of understanding that Lorcan has with him. What they say about having a twin apparently does hold true with these two, because they really do seem to have some sort of twin-telepathy thing going on here right now. In my five years of knowing them, there have been a lot of unexplainable moments like this one.
Lysander finally sighed, looking slightly defeated. "No, I suppose you're right," he sadly admitted. "I'm really not that much of a fighter. I guess I just thought it would look cool, and make me seem more tough... I mean, I don't like being the lame one, you know?"
Aw no, not this again. There's something I haven't explained about these two yet. You see, Lorcan is your typical outdoorsy kind of guy who could really care less about his wardrobe. He'd much rather go for a hike, or dig for random treasures in the mud. When he gets into fights, Lorcan would much rather let his fists do all the talking. He's all about keeping things plain and simple; Lorcan is.
Whereas Lysander, on the other hand is -well- not any of those things. In fact, the most 'typical boyish' thing about him is that he's so big into Quidditch. But other than that, he cares more about having perfect hair, name-brand clothes, and he prefers to stay inside so as not to get dirty. Whenever Lysander gets mad or upset, he usually prefers to just remove himself from the situation and be left alone until he's had time to cool off.
I trust you can see why this might be a problem for someone who has two parents that are Naturalists, and therefore are constantly outdoors when they go to work. Lysander is a lot more sensitive and emotional than his brother is, which causes him to get ridiculed more and more by their dad. Rolf seems to think that Lysander just needs to "toughen up a bit" or else he will never become a "real man" - whatever the hell that means. To be quite honest, I don't really get it because I don't speak boy all that well. All I know is that his dad's attitude has always caused Lysander to be insecure.
And before you even ask, because I know what it is you're probably thinking right now; the answer is no. Lysander is not, by any means, gay whatsoever! Trust me; I think that I, of all people, would know it if he were. Being sensitive, and not afraid to show what it is you're truly feeling on the inside, does not automatically make someone gay, ok? He and I have shared plenty of kisses, and done plenty of -er- well, other things for me to know how he feels about women. So just believe me when I say that I can personally vouch for the fact that Lysander is totally straight.
"But being the pretty boy is all just a part of who you are," Lorcan chuckled. This, however, did not seem to cheer Lysander up the way he had hoped it would.
"Yeah, well, tell that to dad," Lysander pouted. "He doesn't want someone like me as a son - that's why he's so happy there're two of us. About the only thing he's ever seemed proud of me about is Quidditch, and that's the only reason I pushed so hard to get Captain this year. And even then, I can't have that one all to myself, because -" Lysander seemed to have just realized that he was talking out loud, for he stopped abruptly and looked up at his brother with a horrified expression on his face.
Lorcan now had his arms folded, and one of his eyebrows were cocked in disbelief. "Go on, say it," he demanded. "Finish the sentence, Ly."
"No, I didn't mean it like that," Lysander said quickly, shaking his head. "Lorcan, you know I didn't. I love having you on the team, and you know that. The two of us are pretty much uneatable out on that field, because we play together so well." It was a pretty good save, in my opinion, but Lorcan on the other hand did not look so easily soothed by it.
"You feel like I'm stealing all of your glory again, don't you?" Lorcan asked. Lysander didn't answer this, but he didn't have to. The answer was plastered all over his face. "For Merlin's sake man, when are you going to learn that I am not trying to outshine you all the time? Please tell me you're not going to start thinking like that again, are you?"
"I can't help it, Lorcan," Lysander finally admitted. "You know we're fifth years now, and this is supposed to be the year where we all figure out what it is we want to do after Hogwarts. We're three months into it already, and I haven't even got the slightest clue! But you - oh, you on the other hand, I'm sure you already know exactly what it is you want to do, don't you?"
Lorcan bit down on his lower lip. He seemed to know that the answer to his brothers question was not going to help any, yet he gave it anyways. "Well, yeah... I mean, I've always figured I'd just go into the family business after Hogwarts."
"Which, of course, automatically makes you the perfect son," Lysander spat. "And I'm just the screw up!"
"And, so what? You just thought joining a group like The Preparation would do something to change that?" Lorcan sneered. It sounded a little harsh, but I know he did not mean it to be. He was just being real with his brother, that’s all.
"I don't know," Lysander practically shouted back. I frowned, slightly irritated by the fact that both of them seemed to have forgotten that I was there. On the other hand though, I really was learning some interesting things, so I decided not to remind them of my existence just yet.
"Honestly, Ly, I don't think mum and dad are seriously going to care if you don't become a Naturalist like them," Lorcan continued to encourage his brother. "I mean, how many times does mum have to tell us that she just wants us to be happy with our lot in life, before you actually start to get it?"
Lysander was shaking his head, looking down and refusing to give an answer. I figured this was because he knew Lorcan was right, and just didn’t want to have to admit it. That's another thing about Lysander; he hates to be proved wrong about anything.
"Well throwing your life away on something that you've decided to do on a whim is not going to solve anything," Lorcan continued once more. "The Preparation would not suit you, and you would end up resenting the decision as soon as you committed to doing it. I know you, brother, and you're just not meant to do something like that. You're a Scamander, for starters, which is why I believe that you are destined to do something far greater with your life than prepare for a stupid war that may never even come in our lifetime."
Now where have I hear something like that before? Oh yes, I remember - I said almost the exact same thing to him during our fight last Saturday. Man, how I do love to be proved right by someone else! Lysander suddenly shot a look at me, and I could tell that he was currently remembering the exact same thing. I gave a feeble smile in return, attempting to show him that I really was trying to be considerate of his feelings.
Lysander heaved a heavy sigh. "Fine," he said with an heir of defeat. "You're right. Both of you are. It's not for me, and I get that. Perhaps it was just a phase, but I'm over it now, alright?"
Lorcan looked satisfied with this, but I felt as though that was almost too easy. I decided not to point this out, however, because I did not want anymore confrontation between us. Which reminded me, there was still something I hadn’t said to him yet.
"Listen, Lysander, about last Saturday," I began. "I had no idea you were only considering all of that because you were out to impress your father. Come to think of it, I never really gave your feelings a second thought at all before I completely overreacted like I did. I was acting crazy, and I do admit that I may have been completely out of line."
I paused to catch my breath for a moment, and he decided to add; "Yeah, and?"
"And, what I guess I'm trying to say here is..." Oh confound it all! I really am not very good with this apology thing. "Well, I am... I'm s-ss-sorry?" I spoke the last word in a very soft voice, so as to be absolutely certain that no one else would overhear it.
Lysander suddenly had a huge, dorky smile plastered on his face. "I'm sorry Sandra, I didn't catch that," he said. Clearly he was enjoying this. "Could you repeat that a little louder for me, please?"
I frowned at him, but decided to comply with his wishes, however unwillingly. "I'm sorry for the way I acted towards you last Saturday," I repeated in a more audible tone. "I was being selfish. But, if you will forgive me, then I would gladly lay my armor down here - peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and all." Lorcan laughed aloud at this and I couldn't help but smile too. "Look; I just want this stupid animosity between us to be over with already Lysander. So what do you say… Friends?" I extended my hand to him, in hopes that he would take it.
Lysander furrowed his brow as he looked at my hand, and I could tell that he was thinking deeply about this decision. "I just don't want to fight with you anymore," he said slowly.
"Me neither," I agreed, shaking my head. "I want us to be able to remain as friends, Lysander, because I cannot stand the thought of not having you be a part of my life."
"Same here," he smiled at me. "Oh, alright, friends then," he said, finally taking my hand and shaking it.
I was so excited, I could barley contain myself. I laughed in delight and threw my arms around him. Before I even knew what was happening, our lips met and he was kissing me back with high intensity. I reached up and grabbed a fist full of his hair, getting lost in his scent. It was one of those most prefect moments that could have easily have lasted forever... If only Lorcan wasn't still sitting there.
"Eh-hem," Lorcan cleared his throat loudly so as to break us apart.
As I drew away from him, I could see Lysander rolling his eyes in annoyance. I smiled sheepishly at him, biting down softly on my lower lip. I then looked over at Lorcan and shrugged. What can I say? Old habits die hard I guess.
It was then Lorcan's turn to do the eye rolling. "Just friends my arse," he said jokingly. "You two couldn't keep your hands off of one another if your lives depended on it."
Lysander smiled, almost blushing even. "Ah, my brother knows me so well," he said, grabbing hold of me and scooting me closer to him on the bench. Things were finally getting back to normal, or so seemed. This is where I belong; here at Lysander's side. Deep down, I really believed that to be true.
If only I had know then how everything was about to change. I would have gotten away while I still had the chance....
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