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The Wonky Ways of Elle Jones by skins
Chapter 1 : Introducing Me
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 3

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“Eleanor! Come downstairs right now!” oh, the bliss of the peaceful sound of the morning, “ELEANOR JONES, YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!” shit, it’s September 1st? Since when? I struggled to turn my head to the right where my muggle clock sat on the wall, nine thirty, double shit, but what harm will five more minutes do to anyone? None. My eyes began shutting again taking in the peacefulness of the darkness, but to no avail my older brother walked into the room with nothing more than a pair of boxers on, talk about disturbing,

“Yo Nor, get up or mum is going to strangle you,” he said while fixing his hair with a comb, hey, here’s an idea how about you put some bloody clothes on first?


“Fuck off, and I told you not to call me that,” I retorted turning my head the other way, I suddenly felt my sheets slithering off my bed, what the hell? I sat up angrily to see a smug look on my brothers face, 


“Not much you can do now,” he said holding the sheets up high so I couldn’t get them back, stupid brothers and how they are so tall,


“Sod off!” I screamed, 


“Will do,” he said taking my sheets with him, bloody great, now I have no other choice than to get up, I slipped on my panda slippers, what? I’m sixteen and I’m not aloud to wear panda slippers? For your information, they are the greatest muggle invention, ever, bloody comfortable too.


My way down the steps of my home was long and slow considering the fact that I was half asleep, I sat on the table where my dad read the Daily Prophet and my mother cooked some coffee,


“Good morning honey,” my dad, John Jones, said, yeah I know bloody hilarious name, to his defense his parents are a bit on the loony side, but great fun for a pair of 70 year olds,


“Morning dad, mum,” I responded, my mum, Adeline Jones, turned and gave a gentle wave, she always had that appeal to her gentle, kind, patient, sounds like the perfect mum doesn’t she? Well, except when she got angry, then the monster was unleashed from the cage, and that wasn’t a pretty sight, trust me.

I have had quite a few encounters with it.


I grabbed myself some milk and drank it quickly not bothering to eat anything, I wasn’t a big breakfast person.


The second I opened the door of my room my body fell back on my bed, but all I could hear was the ticking of the watch, stupid muggle invention, making me feel guilty, so once again I stood up making my way to the bathroom.


There I did the usual, do I really have to take you through it all, I’m sure we all go to the bathroom every day and if you don’t then I’m sorry but you’ve got issues, so after I was done with all my business and took a nice refreshing shower I made my way to my dresser where I searched for something decent to wear since my mum, yes my mum buys most of my clothes, I’m sorry I’m not the biggest fan of shopping, hasn’t got the best sense in style so I settled for a pair of jeans and a nice peach colored tank top. I never really saw the point in going with free dressing when in a few hours we would change into our uniforms anyway, but apparently if I popped up in the Hogwarts Express in my uniform I would be named the biggest loser of the year and I wasn’t really in the mood of a good dose of teasing like I had been prone to before, third year-worst year of my life, so I settled with my jeans.


I looked at myself in the mirror finally after all these years of going through the pain of puberty, my face zit free and clean fresh, not that my curly blond mess of hair was any better but with that I could deal.


I shot a few spells at my hair that made it look less wild, and didn’t bother putting any make up, okay so I lied shoot me, a bit of mascara won’t hurt alright? I was never good at putting it on though so I almost screamed my head off when my brother burst in my room almost ruining it all,


“NOR! We’re leaving in five,” My hand slipped of almost brushing on my skin but I managed to save myself from a hell of a mess,


“Is it that hard to knock?” I said looking over at my brother, Troy Jones, who was luckily dressed this time with a pair of jeans and a loose shirt, his hair messy once again, why had he even bothered to comb it in the first place? Sigh, brothers, who understands them?


“Yes, it might break my hand and you know how important that is since I’m the keeper of the Gryffindor team,” he said confidently, running off downstairs to suck up to mum and dad, cocky much?

I turned back to my appearance once again, 


“Sixth year here I come,” I muttered to myself. And who is this “myself” I speak of, well up to this moment I have forgotten to introduce myself, but better late than never, right? Anyway, I think you caught on by now that my name is Eleanor Jones, I prefer to be called Elle though, daughter of John Jones and Adeline Jones, brother of the biggest idiot in the wizarding world Troy Jones. I myself am not a fool like my brother but I do have my moments, as you may have realized I am pretty damn sarcastic, but mostly in my head. In real life most people refer to me as “Sweet Elle” which yes can be annoying at times, but it’s nice to be nice (haha, get it?), hey, don’t get me wrong I’m not one of those disgustingly pleasant people who all they do is compliment and play puppy to teachers, no, don’t confuse me with those people because I will not hesitate to bite your head of. Well then, if that’s clear, let’s carry on, oh wait you want to know my appearance? You cheeky git, but if you insist I’m quite alright if I do say so myself. I have long blonde curly, in other words untamable, hair, and blue eyes. My bodies alright, and my boobs have finally grown this year, do not look at me like that, boobs are a vital part of a girls body and you know it. As for my love life, well let’s just leave that on a blank alright? Are you satisfied now? Yes? Fucking fantastic, moving on.



“We’re here!” Troy exclaimed childishly, like a six year old when they have just been bought a lollipop, but that’s Troy for you infantile, conceited, and stupid yet still all the girls at this school seize to fall to his feet along with the other two Gryffindor “hotties”. Well that’s what the idiot girls at this school call them, I call them conceited gits, all of them might be wildly attractive but they are all fucking gits who have a pea for the size of a brain, but what girl cares about a brain in a guy, haha don’t be stupid only looks matter, that was sarcasm my dear stranger.


So who are the Gryffindor “hotties” you may ask?


Well, you have the ‘leader’ James Potter, that if you haven’t heard of then you are living in a cave, because he is none other than the son of Harry Potter, yeah, Harry Potter that bloke who killed that weird-ass-snake-anti-muggle-killer-crazy-and-evil dude. He, James that is, has got messy black hair and and blue eyes, my legs feel weak just speaking about him (sarcasm again my dear reader), he’s a chaser for the Gryffindor team.


Then there’s Fred, fiery red hair, and striking blue eyes to along with his striking personality, one of the Beaters for the team, son of George Weasley.


Finally there’s, well, my brother, who according to the largest percentage of the Hogwarts is also ‘so hotas if I need to hear such a thing, I do not need to barf thank you very much.


As you have probably guessed there are more to the team than just those three, but the other are just not as recognized as “hot”, the other two chasers are Lorcan and Lysander the Scamander twins, they are easily the weirdest people I have ever met, and I’m not saying they’re unattractive, but they are so strange that most people ignore them, and their full out weirdness, they’re kind of funny not that they realize though. They talk nonsense while most people laugh at them, and they just think we are the crazy ones, oh well.


The other Beater is Fred’s sister Roxanne, who is quite sought after boys, but never quite effective thanks to her overprotective brother, I myself am not very close to Roxanne, but I know she’s a good person.


And finally off course the seeker, Albus Severus Potter, it might seem strange that he isn’t in this ‘hotties’ group, but mostly it is because he doesn’t want to be, because trust me he isn’t unattractive at all, he’s as girls say these days “hot” as well, but he since first year he has ignored the attention, so girls have given up on trying to get it from him. I’m in Albus’ house and same year, but don’t know him to well. He is probably the shyest, quietest, more kept to himself person, ever, I really do hope it isn’t because of his name, it’s not his fault he got that mouthful of one. But really I haven’t even shared a word with Albus, except this one time we got partnered in Potions in 4th year, we worked quite well together actually and finished the potion before everyone, but other than that all I see of him, is in the Gryffindor common room reading a book, doing his studies, and Quidditch matches of course.


So that’s pretty much the Gryffindor Quidditch team for you.



“Elle!” I heard a gentle voice yell my way, as I walked towards the Hogwarts express, I saw the familiar auburn hair and blue eyes, ladies and gentlemen, my best friend:


“Rosie Rosity Rose!” I exclaimed running towards the Weasley, yes, Rose Weasley is my best friend, jealous? I know you are, I mean if you aren’t you should be, because Rose is the opposite of what I am, always optimistic, always has an answer, never at a loss for words, which equals a fucking amazing best friend, 


“Hmph,” I heard her retort to my nickname,


“I know only I can get away with using that nickname,” I smiled sheepishly at having such an honor, we parted away and I greeted the rest of her family, well the small part of it anyway (her mum, Hermione, dad, Ron, and brother, Hugo) because the whole Weasley/Potter clan is a handful, plus they were nowhere to be seen,


“How are you Elle?” Hermione asked kindly, Rose reminded me so much of her at times, always kind, always collected,


“Absolutely fabulous Mrs. Weasley,” I answered with a huge grin,


“How many times have I told you to call me Hermione not Mrs. Weasley,” she said poking my nose, 


“Herms,” Ron said clumsily, “we’ve got to go,”


“Alright Ron,” she smiled at him, they exchanged a look of pure passion, yuck, who knew old people could do that. I’m not saying Mr, and Mrs. Weasley are old but it just kind of surprises me how that age, married blokes can still look at each other with such love. The world surprises me at times.


Rose dragged me along the station waving at her parents, “why do you always suck-up so much to my parents, especially my mum, she almost loves you more than she loves me,” she snapped, I gave her a scan, she had grown, I could tell, especially since I hadn’t seen her all summer, her family, her whole family had taken this trip to Egypt, and all I had heard of her was from letters. Her hair was neatly sitting in her shoulders, and her face like mine was zit free, but I couldn’t help but feel ridiculously ridiculous, lovely vocabulary of mine, standing next to the stunningly gorgeous Rose Weasley.


She always received stares while I was the shadow, I had always been, it didn’t bother me, it’s not like she gave in to the attention. She ignored most of it and retorted to studying instead.


I had never been popular, or a loser, I was just there. No one really new me except those few that called me “Sweet Elle”, or when I was mentioned they responded with that, “Oh, yeah, Rose Weasley’s best friend,” not that I was bothered, I didn’t care much.


While we walked through the train Rose scanned me much like I had scanned her a second ago, “Hot damn, what has happened to you this summer?”


“I couldn’t resist my mums cheesecake alright? I might’ve gained a few pounds! I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist the temptation,” I sniggered dramatically putting a hand on my forehead,


Haha,” Rose said sarcastically, “Actually Ellie Ellity Elle, you look hot,”


“What was that there?” I asked, it was fun to annoy a Weasley, especially Rose Weasley,


“Shut up, look at yourself, you are probably one of the most gorgeous this year,”


“That would be you, Rose, so no,” I responded, “and Dom of course, and your whole family,” I retorted tilting my head to the side,


“Er, have you seen yourself?” she asked,


“No, it pains me to look at the mirror everyday,” I said with the same dramatic voice,


“Whatever, Jones,” she told me smiling,


Rose pushed me into a compartment where all the Gryffindor Quidditch team sat, except for the Scaramander twins, okay let me re-phrase it, the Weasley and Potter families. Roxanne sat next Fred, who they seemed to be fighting about a present their father had given them, next to Fred was Louis, who was his age as well. Then next to him sat James, who was chatting lively with the only non-Wotter along with me in the cabin, my brother, both a year older than us, then next to my brother Dom, who tried to chat along, I had never really gotten along with Dom, she was like 1/8 veela and because of that obviously stunning but she seemed kind of like, how do I put this nicely, a bitch.


Then by the window was Albus, quietly reading a book, I decided to sit in between Dom and him, because it was kind of the only place left considering the face that Rose had taken a seat in between Fred and Roxanne so they stopped fighting and she was right in front of me.


The compartment was loud, thanks to the angry grunts Fred let out, and James’ hysterical laughing, but Albus remained silent. I turned my head down to read the title of the book he read, ‘Care of Magical Creatures-Year 1’, I slanted my eyes suspiciously he had obviously jinxed the book, the title of it was something he didn’t want people to discover, and I knew this because one, no one took that class anymore at least none of the Wotter clan, poor Hagrid. Secondly, er hello, Year 1, we are sort of in year six, just sort of though. Albus’s green eyes -which where one of the only things that differences between him and James, other than personality off course- gave me a quick gaze, but returned to the words of the book almost instantly. I was almost about to ask him what the real title when-


“Elle, why, haven’t you grown up this summer,” Fred exclaimed my way wiggling his eyebrows up and down, I raised my eyebrows in an amused manner,


“Thank you?” I answered, a bit confused, suddenly everyone in the compartment turned to stare at me, so I had part of the Wotter family staring at me, how comforting,


“You have boobs!” I heard James exclaim gaining him a look from Rose, and turning to look at me with a I-told-you look.


“Finally wearing make up Jones?” Dom snapped angrily looking at me, her hand on my brothers thigh, ew,


“Hold up bitches,” I heard my brother yell, standing up in the middle of the compartment “hands off my sister, got it?” I heard him exclaim giving an evil glare at all the Potter/Weasley boys in the cabin,


“We’ll see about that,” James said quietly, yet loud enough for everyone to hear, giving me a wink.


Well, this will sure be an interesting year.



Did you guys like that? 

Hope so


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