Chapter 1 : The Usual Fight
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“You’re the smartest damn fool I’ve ever known, Remus. Most men wait their entire broom-polishing life to meet a woman like Tonks,” Sirius said with a bitter edge to his voice. “I know we’re best mates but you deserve someone better than me,” he added with a grin in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Sirius, we’ve been through this before,” Remus said ignoring the humor. “Feelings aside, I can’t close my eyes and pretend that being a werewolf doesn’t matter.” Remus rubbed his forehead as if in pain. “You can’t possibly understand –“
“You’re afraid!” Sirius shouted. “What’s hard to understand about that? You’re so scared of losing her that you’d rather not have anything to lose at all. You’ve done this your whole life your entire life. First with James and me, then who knows how often when I was in Azkaban, and now with Tonks.” Sirius took another drink and surveyed Remus’ scowl. He could see the anger in his eyes and decided to push on. “You could have it all and then some. Love cannot be so easily tossed aside for fear of what could happen once a month. This has nothing to do with the wolf… it’s just fear.”
Remus stood up, slamming his first to the table. “Are you hard of hearing or slow at learning?” Remus growled slightly as he spoke. “This has everything to do with the wolf! I could bite, harm, or endanger her and then where would I be? She could get die and it would be my fault. You have no idea the dangers – just because we got away with our fun at school,” Remus’ face fell as if he had already lost Tonks. “I love her and yet I can’t love her. There is nothing worse than that.”
“Do you think she’s a child? She’s in the Order, risking her life every bleeding day. Not to mention she’s an Auror which isn’t a job for the timid. I think she’s qualified to assess the risks, Moony. You love her and yet she’s stuck in limbo trying to gauge your blasted feelings for her. Grow a pair of bludgers and – “
Remus had his want pointed at Sirius. “Don’t presume to understand my choice or to tell me what I should do,” Remus said coldly. Clearing his throat he continued in a steady voice, “I understand that your prolonged isolation has its toll, but you need to find a better outlet for your energies than my personal life.” Remus pocketed his wand and headed toward the stairs. He paused before exiting the room and said, “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight.”
Sirius stayed in his seat, seething with a few more things to yell at his friend. Everything would, of course, be clear between them in the morning -- all anger forgotten. Sirius hoped the words, however, would linger.