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Reckless Blame by louise_loves_hp
Chapter 1 : Prologue: Telling You
 
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Prologue: Telling You


“I can’t do this anymore.”


I didn’t even register what he was saying at first. I was so shocked that I didn’t have a clue what he was on about.


“What are you talking about?” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. But I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I willed it away immediately.


“Lily we are just not right for each other.” Aaron’s words hit me as if they were the darts and I was the board.


“I don’t get it.” I pulled myself up in to sitting position bringing the sheet with me to see him sat on the edge of the bed.


“It’s just that.” He paused, looking down at his hands. “I don’t think that this is what I want anymore.” He didn’t even at look me, he just looked out of the window, unblinking.


“Right.” My words dripped with sarcasm. I pulled my dressing gown from its hanger and wrapped it around myself, folding my arms across my chest firmly.


“Look, Lily it’s not you; it’s me.” His face was stony; tired.


I rolled my eyes. “Oh please, Aaron. Don’t give me this crap. I deserve the truth at the very least.” I leaned back on the wall and didn’t look at him, saying the words I wished weren’t true. “We both know that… that it’s not you or me that’s the problem. It’s more that there’s someone else.”


“Lily....” but he didn’t even try to explain.


I didn’t let him either.


“No Aaron!” I yelled to stop him from talking, at this point that’s all I wanted from him. I didn’t need anymore of his excuses.


I shook my head in disbelief. “It’s just like last time.” I muttered. “You know, maybe it is me after all, me for trusting you in the first place.”


“I don’t want to hurt you Lils, but I just don’t see us working.”


“So you tell me this after we have sex?” I walked towards him, then said incredulously, “Who do you do you think you are?”


“Look it’s not like you didn’t want it and you know it.” Before I knew what I was doing, I had slapped him across the face.


“Get out.” I said evenly, but then I shoved him. Hard. I pushed him again out the door of my room.


“There is no need to push...” He held his hands up in surrender. Right, as though I did something to him.


“Out, and don’t come back.” I wanted to hit him again, shove him; I was so angry that my hands were shaking. I balled them into fists to stop them.


“Trust me, I’m never coming back again.” Then, when he got to the front door, he turned around. “It’s not worth coming back anyway.”


You know; if I’d been smart I would have hexed him to hell and back again. But of course, in all my rage and glory, I apparently had forgotten I was a witch and so I just stood there and didn’t do anything.


I was grateful Hugo hadn’t been home though. As much as I loved him, I didn’t want anyone to witness my cowardly boyfriend breaking up with me. That was painful enough for me to see; no need to add Hugo into the mix.


Hugo found me the next morning though; going around our flat and pulling anything that had come from the past three years as a result of the relationship that had just fallen apart. There were books, pictures and just bits and pieces piled up.


“Lily, what is going on?” He asked dubiously. He walked slowly towards me, as if afraid I might snap and bite his head off.


I threw a picture into the fire place joining the others, “Getting the crap out of my flat.”


“Ok, but why?”


“Have to.” I said simply, still not looking at him.


“That’s great and all but- hey! Lily that’s mine.” He cried as I was throwing a book into the fire.


“Oh sorry,” I looked to him, apologetic. “I get you a new one.”


“Lils stop.” His hands landed on my shoulders to try and calm me. "What happened?"


“Aaron and I broke up.” I didn’t need to look at him to know that he would be happy in some way.


“I’m sorry” As he gave me that hug that I needed.


X



The next week after I went and bought Hugo a new book, we went out with a few friends. I knew that I had way too much to drink but I was starting to feel better so I kept drinking anyway.


It felt like a good idea at the time.


It was late into the night when he caught my eye. I had seen him before, but now I couldn’t help but notice there was something pulling me to him, something magnetic.


That was something I’d never forget.


He was wearing a blue shirt that made his blue eyes standout, under is longish light brown hair. I could see that he had grown up from when we were at Hogwarts, we hadn’t seen each other in a few months. We were close at school but now our busy lives took over.


His hand found my back, as we danced, pulling me to him.


His voice was quite over the music that was being played in the Muggle club, it tickled my hairs on the back over my neck as he spoke. “Now, whatever you have been up to since school has done you well.”


“I would say the same but I don’t know about you hair...”


“Maybe I should get a haircut then,” he said laughing.


“It would look better shorter,” Giving him a small smile, “maybe even all of it off.”


“I am shocked Lily that you would think that I would part with my hair.” returning my smile with one of his own. “You know how much my mum wants me to do that. I’ve got to leave it there so she has something to pick at.”


“Oh I am should there is so much more that she could pick at.” I tease him a little.


“And what about you mother?” He shot right back.


Our conversation continued until we all retreated to the table. We sat down and he managed to keep his hand on my back and out of Hugo’s view. He got more daring and slipped his hand beneath my top, starting to draw patters with his fingers against my skin. A chill ran up my spine.


“Do you guys want to try another place?” came Abby’s voice over the music.


“Let’s go to that one we went to last time?” Hugo answered for us all.


“How about,” he slid his hand further down my back, pressing his lips to my ear to whisper, “I take you somewhere else?”


I didn’t need to be asked twice, “I think I’m just going to head home.” I answered to the rest of the group while discreetly I gave him a nod.


“Same here. I drop you off if you want?” He added, feigning the sudden thought, for the sake of our friends.


“You better make sure it’s just strait home.” Hugo slurred.


“No funny business with my cousin.” Abby laughed, as she gave me a knowing look.


“Hey! She’s my cousin too.” Hugo’s voice topped the music.


“She’s both your cousins.” Another voice called as they disappeared in to the crowd.


“Merlin, he’ll be fun in the morning.” I say half to myself.


“You don’t have to deal with him if you don’t want.” His voice came once again as he guided me to the outside.


“Oh and why is that?”


“Maybe you could deal with me instead?” He asked mischievously.


“We will have to see about that...” And then he cut me off with his lips.


I could taste the alcohol on his breath, but I didn’t care. His hands roamed my back, sliding further and further down. He pulled away, “So, what do you say?”


I tilted my head, teasing him. “How about we play it by ear?”


The moment that we made it into his flat, both our hands and lips were getting at any exposed skin that we could. Before he pulled off my top he asked, “Are you sure?”


“This changes nothing.” I replied as I took my top off without his help.


X



When the morning came, I snuck back to our flat in the early hours of the morning. I did deal with Hugo, as he would have done for me. I never thought back on that night as anything more than a one-night-stand. I never thought of it as something that would change things- not only my life, but everyone else’s too.


Within a few weeks, there were signs that you were there, but I didn’t see them as well as people usually did. This happened all the time and I knew the signs but somehow, I still missed them.


So that’s how you came to be. Those are the events that created you, and it’s been three months since then. We only have six more to go.


I had said that nothing would change because of that night. But everything changed. I’m still not sure how I feel about this, and what I’m going to do, but I feel like it’s about time I let you know. You deserve to know. Even if it takes me longer to tell my family or anyone else; at least you know.


You’re the only one who knows my secret.


A/N: Beta'd by the lovely BellaCamille!


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