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My Immortal by TheProphecy
Chapter 1 : My Immortal
 
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I have only recently got into Evanescence but when i heard this song i just thought Snape. It is so fitting it was like it was made for him, i couldn't believe it. But please tell me how i did, Snape is such a complex character i'm worried i made to one-dimensional :/...please tell me what you thought

Characters - JK

Song - Evanescence......I have no rights to this song etc.

Severus Snape rushed up the steps leading to Number twelve Grimmauld place for what he knew to be the last time. He opened the door to be confronted with an odd sensation in his mouth. ‘Of course he thought, protection in case he himself arrived.’ Suddenly a looming figure with hollow eyes and a long grey beard appeared from the carpet; it was the figure that haunted his dreams almost every night, Albus Dumbledore. It said in a raspy voice,

“Severus Snape?” Snape backed towards the door slightly, but then walked forward slightly knowing the orders methods.

“I did not kill you” On the word kill it disappeared in a poof of cloudy smoke.

He knew the dark lord would want information on the place and Snape had to give enough so that he wouldn’t send Death Eaters here. He quickly searched each room methodically taking anything that deemed to be useful but not catastrophic for the order. Most of it was gone anyway. Once the ministry was taken over the order had destroyed almost all evidence that they had even been here.

Snape went upstairs with the same intent only to stop at a room labelled Sirius Black. He noted the Gryffindor hangings and the muggle posters. He always did have to be different, the centre of attention, Snape thought bitterly. He looked at a small picture on Sirius’s wall. It was of Potter and his idiot friends. Taken before they had got to Lily. He looked at the boy who had caused him so much pain and fuelled him with so much hatred in his younger years.

I’m so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears. 

 

 

He thought of Lily, Lovely Lily. The way she always smiled at the sight of him. The way she almost stood on her tiptoes when she was angry. Snape cursed himself. He had to be strong and not let Lily, his only weakness get to him at the moment, the Dark Lord was to good at legilmens for him to risk it.

And if you have to leave I wish you would just leave, 


 

Your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone.


He started to rifle through his deceased tormentors belongings, he found several letters and a picture. It was a picture of a dark haired baby on a broom with an equally dark haired man was chasing the baby. In the background was a woman. She was laughing at her son and glancing adoringly at her husband. Only one thought ran through his head. That should’ve been me.

These wounds won’t seem to heal; this pain is just too real.
There is just too much that time cannot erase. 

He ripped the photo so he only had the part containing Lily and glanced at the letter accompanying it. At a glance it was just a letter containing words of marital bliss. He couldn’t bear to read about her life with James. James had never done anything to deserve her. It had been him who had been with her, from day one he was looking after her, helping her.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.


 
But she chose the un-deserving prat over him. The Dark Lord thought he had gotten over her, in truth he should’ve gotten over her, but he couldn’t. He never would, not even in death had his love for Lily faltered.

But you still have all of me.

Snape looked at the last piece of parchment, it was just a simple end to a letter but to Snape it was much more then that. It had her signature it had her imprint, it was a part of her.

He threw the other part of the letter to the ground and sat on Sirius’s bed. He traced her signature on piece of parchment with a look of wonder. He went to put the letter in his pocket but then changed his mind and took out the photo of her.

 

 

He was captivated by her beauty, in his memories she had started to become hazy and blurred but now they could be replenished with her vibrant red hair and brilliant green eyes and her smile, that smile. Not even a picture could capture the beauty of her smile. He had always admired Lily.

It struck him suddenly how if it wasn’t for Lily he would never be doing this, saving silly letters, making sure he did everything in his power to stop Potter from being murdered on the spot whilst risking his life. But he had to do it; he would have failed Lily if he didn’t.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light,
now; I'm bound by the life you left behind.


Every moment Severus Snape regretted what he had done, all those years ago. Not just when he had essentially led Lily and James Potter to the slaughter but even further back, when it all began with one word; Mudblood.

He seldom used it now days, only when he had too, in the presence of the Dark Lord. It was too painful; it only brought back memories. It was like a stuck tape just saying Mudblood, Mudblood over and over again and each time he would watch Lily’s face crumple and falter as she took in what he had called her. Each time it went from shock to anger, that was the worst bit, he never could stand her being angry with him. That replayed in his mind constantly.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.


Regret was a word that in Severus Snape’s mind was simply paired with Lily. There was nothing he didn’t regret about what he had done when it came to her. Regret and Lily also went hand in hand with The Dark Lord. Severus knew that if he hadn’t joined up, if he hadn’t been so stupid. He would be with Lily right now. They might even have a son and James Potter would be the one living in regret. In regret of how bigheaded he had been, in regret of everything he had done to harm Snape. He relished in the thought.

In the end Severus had accepted that Lily was going to marry Potter, if it made her happy. That was something Severus had told himself many times along the years; if she was happy he was happy. That never meant he didn’t regret his own idiocy.

Snape cursed loudly, causing a pigeon outside the window to flutter off with an angry coo. How after all of these years could he still be in love with her? It was painful to think of her with Potter, It was even more painful to remember his own rejection.

“I will never be with you Snivellus so just leave me alone”

“But Lily…”

“NO SNAPE…just no”

Snape cringed slightly…he should’ve known then that she would say no. He remembered reasoning with himself beforehand:

It’s been two years she has to talk to me…I can’t let her be with Potter…she has to say yes…she has to.

How naïve of love he had been then, If he had been slightly more well versed he would have seen she was in love with Potter even before she knew herself.

It still hurt though.

These wounds won’t seem to heal; this pain is just too real.
There is just too much that time cannot erase.


Snape cursed again, he was letting himself regress. He had worked so hard to keep the Dark Lord naïve of his love for the woman and at the rate he was going everything he had worked so hard for in the last two years was going to be unravelled and Potter would have no chance. It was for Lily always for Lily.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along


 Snape wondered for a moment whether he hated Harry more because of his father or because of what he himself had done. Snape knew Harry was better then his father, he saw Lily in him almost every time he came across the boy. The same quick temper, the same urge to see the good in people and the same sense of right and wrong. Unfortunately this small part of Lily believed Snape to be evil. Though Severus blamed himself for that. He could never seem to distinguish between Harry and his father when he was angry. He would be shouting insults at Harry but really they were meant for James.

He sighed and walked downstairs abandoning his search for useful information, as predicted the order had cleaned up after themselves

Severus Snape stepped out into the warm July air allowing him one last thought of Lily Evans before disappearing with a final sounding pop.

But you still have all of me.
 




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