Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
A/N: Okay, this is really kind of sad and full of angst, so prepare for that. I dedicate this story to all writers and readers. You all make this world go round.
I can't take it anymore, how much it hurts. How much it wounds my very soul to hear his voice. I think I'm going insane, really and truly insane. I shouldn't care about him. I shouldn't want him to hold me, to kiss my temple and stroke my hair. I shouldn't be dreaming about marrying him, laughing with him at the alter. I shouldn't want to move half-way across the world to be with him. Because he doesn't even know I like him. This is stupid, absolutely ludicrous.
“Lucy?” I look up guardedly. It's my mum. She's standing there, staring at me. She doesn't even know me. She doesn't even care.
“Yes?” She's still standing awkwardly in the doorway of my tiny room. She won't look me in the eye.
“It's time for dinner.” I don't want to eat. I don't even want to breathe. I don't want to feel, to exist anymore.
“I'm not hungry.” How could I be hungry? Are people who lose their soulmates usually hungry? Do they even tell people when they do?
“Oh. Well, we'll save you something.” She nods as if in understanding and leaves. I exhale and stare out the window at the grey clouds. And suddenly the dam in my chest bursts. The tears flood my eyes and fall without remorse. This is what I've been expecting, waiting for. I've been waiting to cry since that first day and I finally am. It feels good to cry, to release the pain in my chest.
I lay curled in a ball on my bed and cry. I love him, you know. I don't think people believe how serious I am when I say I love him. I am. This is the most I've ever felt in my whole life. Why did nobody tell me that love hurts? Why is my heart completely shattered? Why can't I piece myself back together?
“Luce?” I look up at the sound of my door creaking open. My little sister is standing there looking truly shocked at the state I'm in. My eyes are red-rimmed and still swimming with tears. I sniffle.
“What?” My voice cracks.
“I didn't know,” she whispers. She finally understands.
“Nobody does. Or if they do, they pretend they don't.” Nobody wants to accept that little Lucy is in love. Or that I'm severely depressed because the guy I love moved to another country. I never even got to say good-bye. Or tell him I cared.
“I'm sorry.” I feel the sorrow in her words. She's desperate for me to be okay again. So am I.
“Help me?” It's the question I've been wanting to ask for so long now and it burns my throat.
“I will. I'll help you, Lucy. I'll help you.” She holds me, rocking me slowly like a small child. I clutch at her like a raft in the ocean I've created with my tears. “We're gonna get you some help. We love you, Lucy.”
It's going to be okay. They're going to help me. They love me.
A/N: So, good return for me?
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