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Chapter 2 : Sorting, Mayhem, and Yelling
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i recently did a hell of a lotta editing on this chapter, so it should be MUCH better than it was. thanks for reading, and please review and stick with this story!
When we got to Hogwarts, Dom came skipping down the hall, sending First Years flying like bowling pins.
Who put crack in her Cheerios?
Upon seeing as acting like normal people (read: we weren't killing each other), she grinned like the Cheshire Cat on drugs and opened the door.
Assholeicness might be contagious.
Re had to go with the First Years to get Sorted, which I found very amusing, considering how she looks like she could pick them up and throw them across the lake to the castle with no real difficulty. The rest of us went to the carriages, where I avoided making eye contack with the thestrels.
Thestrels bring back memories that are best left alone.
“So. My. I was talking to Re during the trip here and she said she plays Beater.” Dom said, snapping me out of my brief moment of I'm-an-angsty-and-depressed-teeanger-feel-sorry-for-me.
I have a lot of those moments.
“Oh, that’s perfect! Did she say if she was any good?”
“Yeah, she might’ve mentioned something about being trained by Andrew Golove, the best damn Beater in the professional league. And she might’ve said something about him saying she’s beyond brilliant.”
“YES! We have a Beater!" I yelled, punching the air in victory (though I do wish Potter's face had "accidentally" collided with my fist).. "And a really good one too, not some sleaze out to look good for Freddy or whatever who actually has a good arm. You know how much I hated putting those cows on the team? I really hated it.”
“Christ, you’re such a bad Captain. Just saying she’s on the team because she says people say she’s brilliant and we need a Beater.” Potter sneered at me.
Dear Merlin, he's annoying.
“Well, there must be some reason I got Captain and you didn’t. Maybe it’s because you’re a jealous tosser. Or maybe it’s because you can’t fly worth shit.” I snapped, glaring at him.
That was a flat-out lie. Potter's a brilliant Chaser, and he damn well knows it, too.
“Oh, don’t lie. You know I’m a better Chaser than you are. Hell, it’s a miracle you made it on the team when you finally got the nonexistent courage and tried out.”
“Well, at least I’m not some arrogant git who tries out in First Year because their dad got on in his First Year. They wouldn't even let you try out, you cocksure little shit."
“At least I belong I’ve got guts, unlike you. Merlin, it’s amazing you made it into Gryffindor.”
“Oh, that is about as true as saying that you aren’t a player, you arse. How many 'girlfriends' did you have last year? Oh, that's right! I lost count after the twentieth."
Potter is a manwhore with no heart. I have no idea how he still manages to attract females.
“That’s going too far, you punk bitch.”
“Punk bitch? Really? That’s sad, even for your one brain cell.”
“Hey, the only person who beat me in the OWLS was you. And since you’re such a nerd, that’s pretty damn good.”
Really? Really? He's resorted to calling me a nerd to attempt and hurt my feelings?
“Nerd? Yeah, last time I checked, nerds don’t have multiple face piercings and one of the worst detention records of every student to ever pass through this school.”
Though to be far, that detention record is mostly because of Potter.
Before he could splutter like an idiot before coming up with a "witty" retort, Asha exploded from her corner of the carriage.
“Would you guys stop bickering for once in your life? I’ve been putting up with this for six goddamn years and I’ve just about had it. Shut up." She snapped, glaring at the both of us.
Everyone stared at her in shock. Asha was the calm one, the collected one, the sane one, the one who always kept the peace. She had never snapped at or yelled at or told anyone off ever before. The only people she got mad at were her parents, and with good reason, too.
“Asha? What’s wrong?” Rose said, reaching over to touch Asha’s arm. Out of all us, Rose was the closest to Asha.
"Isn't it obvious? These two idiots are pissing me off!" Ash snarled, still glaring at us.
This is actually kind of scary.
“Fuck." I said, staring wide-eyed at Ash.
"Yeah. Fuck." Potter echoed.
Motherfu - did we just agree with each other?
Before I could launch into an apology for Ash, the carriage stopped and we all looked around to realize we were outside of the castle. We then proceeded to pile out in stunned silence and make our way inside to the feast.
"Ash! Ash! Asha!" I hissed, poking her with my butter knife. Goddammit, why won't she acknowledge me?
"What?" She snapped, whipping around and tearing her eyes away from the boring ass line of terrifed Firsties and McGonagall's droning speech.
"I'm sorry! It's just...Potter has this really special knack of pissing me off, even when he's still recovering from getting hammered and can barely tack a coherent sentence together." I explained hastily, giving Ash the biggest and saddest looking puppy dog eyes known to man.
Being a Metamorphigus has its perks.
She looked at me broodingly, and then sighed. "Fine. Apology accepted. Why can't I stay mad at you, Myra?
"I've got no idea." I said, fighting to keep a sly grin off my face.
"...now I would like to ask out new transfer student, Varian Krum, to come forward and be Sorted."
I looked up in time to see Re step forward and approach the Sorting Hat. Literally the moment it touched her head, it opened up its dusty mouth and yelled "Gryffindor" at the top of its nonexistent lungss
"HELLS TO THE YEAH, BITCHES! WE GOT THE KRUMSTER! IN YOUR FACE, SLYTHERIN ASSHOLES!!" I screamed, standing up on the bench to turn and face the Slytherins.
"FUCK YOU, MYRA!" Scorpius Malfoy yelled from the ranks of assholes, standing up on his own bench.
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
"IN YOUR DREAMS, BITCH!"
"LOVE YOU TOO, FUCKWAD!"
"THE FEELING'S MUTUAL, SWEETHEART!"
"MR. MALFOY! MISS SMITHE! YOU WILL COME WITH ME AT ONCE. YOUR BEHAVIOR IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! FIFTEEN POINTS FROM BOTH SLYTHERIN AND GRYFFINDOR!"
"NICE JOB, DUMBASS!" Potter yelled from down the Gryffindor table, hopping up onto his bench as well.
"WHY, THANK YOU, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!"
"FUCK YOU, SMITHE!"
"I KNOW YOU WANT TO, LOVE, BUT LET'S WAIT UNTIL LATER!"
"HEY, I'VE WAITED SINCE JUNE, WHY NOT WAIT A LITTLE LONGER?"
"THAT'S THE SPIRIT, SWEETIE!"
"BITCH, I'VE GOT MORE THAN SPIRIT!"
"I KNOW YOU DO!"
"THAT IS ENOUGH! MR. POTTER, YOU WILL JOIN MR. MALFOY AND MISS SMITHE IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW! AND ANOTHER FIFTEEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"
I glanced over at Headmaster Longbottom, who was banging his head against the table and muttering what sounded like "last year, last year, last year" under his breath. I looked back over at Potter, who nodded, and then over at Scorpius, who winked at me.
"IT'S SO DAMN GOOD TO BACK AT SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING YEAR, AIN'T IT, BOYS?" I screamed.
"HELL YES IT IS!" They yelled back.
And then we all leaped off our tables and sauntered over to McGonagall, who looked about ready to pop a blood vessel. At the exact same time, we turned around and bowed to the Great Hall. Everyone applauded uproariously, screaming and hooting and whistling.
And then we made our way off to do a detention on the first night back to school, which was kind of tradition we had.
And by we I mean Potter, Scorpius, and me. We do something crazy every year on the first night back, during the Sorting. It started with a foodfight in First Year, born from Potter and I's hatred of each other. It continued after that, growing to include Scorpius when he, as an ickle Firstie, told the Sorting Hat it was a, and I quote, "fucking bullshit way of Sorting people into Houses". He then ripped it off his head, told Slytherin House that they could go and fuck themselves (because that's where got Sorted, though apparently he didn't like it despite his family), and marched right over to the Gryffindor table and sat down.
Potter and I took things from there.
It's always completely impromptu, and despite the detention and losing house points and never having attended a first night back feast, it's totally worth it.
After detention, I went for a walk, which I usually do on the first day back to school. Another little tradition of mine. I started it because I can't stand to spend the first night listening to Alexis Swate and Raven Vultu bitch and gossip about God-knows-what up into the wee hours of the morning.
Oh, yes, Alexis and Raven. Or, as I like to call those slags, "Them". And trust me, the word "slag" sums them up perfectly. Fake blond, bitchy, make-up encrusted, and easy, they're a wart on the face of Hogwarts and a nasty boil on the face of Gryffindor House.
I personally think they tricked the Sorting Hat somehow, though I have no idea how, considering they have the combined intelligence of a particularly dimwitted Chihuahua.
Dom and Amy hold their own little "talk", so I just avoid the whole dormitory.
I thought that I was the only one out for a walk, but I guess I was wrong, considering I heard some…er…laughter (translation: I really hope I don’t run into them).
I frowned slightly, pausing. Why the hell would two people come out to the lake to snog? I come out here for my walk because of the fact that no couples come out here. You know, it would be so ironic if it was Potter out here and his slag for the night.
That is really ironic.
I turned around immediately, rubbing my arms. Dammit, it's cold out here. Of course, I'm also wearing a tight tank top and a pair of shorts that would put Them to shame.
Motherfucker, I'm going to have to go back inside now.
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