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Not Darkness But Absence of Light by littleaquarianprincess
Chapter 24 : Regretting the Past
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 23

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Disclaimer: nothing is mine

Chapter twenty five – Regretting the Past

“There’s a boy outside, another Gryffindor,” Emily said to Lily when she returned to her room. Shed gone to see who had yelled moments earlier.

‘It could be James,’ Lily thought, “What does he look like?”

“Glasses, black hair, tall, hazel or brown eyes I think,” Emily answered.

“Hazel,” Lily corrected absently.

“You know him?” Emily asked.

“Know him,” Lily smiled, “I love him, it’s James.”

“Wow,” Emily said excitedly, “Finally I got to see him.”

“Would you mind meeting him?” Lily asked carefully, “It’s just that he’s probably worried about me and if he can’t find me…”

“No, I’d love to meet him,” Emily smiled. “But he’s walking away, so you’d better go quickly.”


James turned as he heard Lily call his name. She rushed up to him, breathing hard as she stopped.

“Where the hell were you?” he asked. “You didn’t show up on the map and we know every secret part to this castle.”

“Not every part,” Lily smiled and took his hand. “Come, I’ll show you.”

James hesitated, “Wait, are you alright. Everyone said you were really upset about the newspaper and the dreams…”

“Oh, I talked to Emily about it and she gave me some ideas.”

“Emily?” James repeated in confusion.

Lily pulled his hand, “Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

She led him back down the corridor and stopped in front of the garden portrait James had seen before, only now a young girl occupied it.

“Lily,” she smiled, “You caught him.”

“Yeah,” Lily smiled back, confusing James further. “Emily this is James. James, this is Emily, Dumbledore’s deceased daughter.”

“Please to meet you at long last,” Emily chuckled as James stared at her, stunned.

“Dumbledore’s daughter,” he choked out.

“I’ll explain inside,” Emily smiled again, “Password?”

Lily blushed and looked at Emily pleadingly, “Do I really need to use it?”

“Sorry, but I can’t open the door unless you do.”

Lily sighed, “Oh alright, Prongs.”

James looked at her in surprise as the door swung forwards, “I’m your password.”

Lily blushed a deeper red, “Yeah, well…”

“Wow,” James grinned, “That so cute.”

“Shut up and get inside,” Lily muttered and shoved him through the portrait hole. As he looked around the room Emily appeared in the horse portrait.

“You know, he’s really cute,” she said to Lily, who smiled.

“I know; he’s gorgeous. It’s just as well, his brain isn’t too good.”

“Hey,” James protested. “I resent that, I’m Head Boy and first equal of our year!”

“As I said, his brains not hat great,” Lily muttered to Emily, but James still heard her.

“You little cow,” he muttered and moved to where Lily stood. She watched him warily as he put his arms around her. But he bent his head down and kissed her gently. Lily slid her hand around the back of his head and pulled him closer.

*Ahem* Emily cleared her throat and they reluctantly pulled apart.

“Sorry,” Lily grinned, turning to face the portrait. James wrapped his arms around her from behind and she leaned back against him.

“I’ll go later and visit another portrait and you can continue that,” Emily said laughing.. “I was just wondering if James would like to know about me.”

James nodded and Emily motioned for them to sit on the seats by the fire. James pulled Lily over to one couch and they settled in, Lily lying in between James legs, her head resting on his chest. Both his arms were around her stomach and their hands were interlocked.

Emily smiled at them, like she knew something they didn’t.

“What?” Lily asked. “Why are you looking at us like that?”

“No reason, you two just look so comfortable together, like you were made for each other or something.”

Lily smiled and looked up at James, who smiled back and kissed her lightly. “I think we were,” Lily replied to Emily.

As Emily started to tell James of her life Lily thought about what she’d said. They were made for each other… she smiled slightly. If someone had told her two years ago that she’d want spend the rest of her life with James Potter she’d have laughed in their faces. Now she didn’t think she could live without him. Lily pulled his arms tighter around her and James squeezed her hands as he listened to Emily.

God, she’d been horrible to him in their fifth year. Before then they had only argued playfully but that day by the lake, it had snapped. She had been outright nasty to him, yet he’d never really done anything to deserve it. He might have been picking on Snivellus but then look at him now. Lily was extremely lucky, she realized, to have James after all she’d done. No one else would have stuck around but he did.

“And now I think it’s time I go visit some friends down the hall,” Lily tuned into to hear Emily say. “It was nice to finally meet you James.”

“It was nice to meet you too,” James replied. “I hope I’ll see you again.”

“Oh you will,” Emily grinned. “I shall see to that. Bye Lily.”

“Good bye Emily.”

The second she’d gone from the room Lily turned and kissed James more passionately than she ever had, holding his face in her hands. Instead of responding though, he pulled back in surprise.

“What’s gotten into you Lily?” he asked. She groaned and rolled off the couch onto the floor.

“God, I’m such an idiot.”

“You kissed me like that because you’re an idiot, honey I already knew that,” James said frowning slightly.

Lily shook her head, “Do I have to have a reason?”

“Yes,” James looked at her strangely. “You’re not gong to break up with me are you?”

“No, of course not,” Lily said quickly, “It’s just…”

She sighed and looked at the fire for a long time. James felt like he was about to scream in frustration.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“What?” James was surprised. “Why?”

“For everything I put you through, what I said to you two years ago by the lake. I’m sorry for every time I told you to get lost, I’m sorry for every name I ever called you, every time I rejected you,” Lily didn’t look at James but he could hear the tears in her voice. “I was so horrible to you yet you never stopped trying. I’m so sorry James.”

“Hey,” James whispered as Lily buried her head in her hands. He slid down next to her. “It’s alright Lily, you don’t need to be sorry.”

He pulled her hands away from her face and she looked at him sadly, “You should hate me,” she choked out.

“I could never hate you Lily, I love you,” James said firmly. “Now stop crying. Emily left so we could make out and I don’t think we should waste that.”

Lily smiled despite herself, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes you do,” James took Lily in his arms, “If anyone deserves someone to love them, it’s you.”

Lily looked up at him and sighed, “I love you James, so much I don’t think I could live if you weren’t with me.”

“Are you saying you want to marry me?” James asked her curiously. To his surprise Lily looked him straight in the eye and nodded.

“That’s a good thing I suppose because I don’t want to ever live without you either.” Then he took one hand and titled Lily’s face up and kissed her deeply.

Hey, I’m not at school today so I’m updating... it’s not long but your going to get another one soon… by Saturday at least so yeah… please review! I need to know if I’m doing this all wrong cause not many people seem to read it anymore…

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