amazing image by Squiggles @tda.
If I didn’t sound like such a weirdo, I would actually tell people that after my little makeover to Arwen, he looks like a dashing lad. His fluffy knots of fur made him look very girly, but this new look makes him look like a real man.
Like me. I’m a man.
A quite good-looking one, might I add.
Sad for Jackson’s razor, though. It looks like it got attacked by a crazy rabbit. Hopefully he won’t find out it was me who ruined it or he will beat me into a bowl of porridge. Bollocks.
Arwen likes me. I’m not joking, the cat actually likes
me. After I had trashed his fur he slept right
beside me on my bed. Little bugger thinks I’m keeping him now. I bet Palmer treats him like a lady by painting his nails and treating him with girly cat treats. He’s a man
, Palmer. Bloody woman.
And now, as I am getting ready for the day, he’s laying on my bed staring at me all… lovingly.
“What the bloody hell is that?” Oh, fuck. Zeke’s awake.
I turn away from my mirror to see Zeke staring menacingly at Arwen with his wand pointed at him. Arwen hisses at him like the brave, tough man he is now. The new look works for him.
I smirk and easily take Zeke’s wand out of his hand. “It’s Arwen, you banana. I gave him a little makeover for Palmer,” I tell him this and I can tell my green eyes are looking mischievous - that’s something my Mum comments that my eyes do at times.
He just stares at me like I’m some lunatic. I’m not a lunatic, you bastard.
Zeke sighs and stares at me tiredly now. “I don’t give a rats buttocks who it is. Just get rid of it before it scratches me half to death.” And with that, he turned over and fell back to sleep almost instantly. If it was a school day, I would’ve woken him and Jackson up way earlier and rudely waken up our other roommate, Aiden Timber. I’ll just let them sleep the day away.
“Let’s go, Arwen. Palmer is probably throwing a bitchy fit without you and your fur-ballness,” I say to him before picking up the now shaved cat. I laugh to myself as we walk down the staircase. Palmer is so
gonna piss herself when she sees her beloved cat.
Ah, just my luck - Palmer is sitting at a table in the common room writing on a piece of parchment. By herself. Actually, nobody is in the common room. Hmm, that never happens.
Crap. What if she murders me? There are no witnesses!
I notice Palmer is wearing her hair up in a loose pony-tail. Usually her curly hair is down and frames her face like a curtain. Instead of the formal uniform I’m more used to seeing her wear, she is wearing dark blue jeans and a Puddlemere T-shirt. Fuck, I love Puddlemere United.
Arwen tries to get out of my grasp so I let him go. I will not get myself scratched by a crazy cat. I’d probably turn into Cat Woman-ahem-man
. Between you and me, I don’t look that great in leather. I know, shocker.
He runs straight to Palmer and I should be laughing as she stares at him shocked and horrified. Instead I am sitting here trying so hard to not pee because I am ninety-nine percent sure she is going to kick my ass. But it’s the one percent that keeps me standing here, just in case.
She picks him up and just stares at him in disbelief. I stand awkwardly next to the boys staircase. Merlin, I’m such an imbecile.
“Potter! What the fuck
did you do to him?” She literally growls at me like she’s a hungry lion and I’m a helpless rabbit. Oh, on the contraire Palmer, I am
the lion. No Potter men will ever be a little bunny.
We’re awesome. Enough said.
I look at the crazy woman in front of me confused and scratch my eye brow. “Whatever do you mean, Palmer?” I think I have a death wish.
Palmer stares at me menacingly. “You’re the biggest
fuck up in the whole entire universe, Potter! I’m going to murder your bloody brains out!” Palmer narrows her eyes at me and looks like she is about to charge at me.
I gulp loudly, but cough to cover it up. Potter men do not
I suddenly feel like I’m in one of those scary movies where some crazy, insane, and fucking weirdo killer decides to go on some killing rampage and murder innocent, helpless people. Palmer is the psycho killer with an axe (wand, in this case), and I am the innocent person she is about to kill.
So I do what any other Potter man would do. I whip out my wand and hex the little bugger.
Okay, I‘m lying. I run the heck out of here so I don’t get my arse cursed by the insane little bitch. I’m a disgrace to the Potter surname, I know.
I run all the way to the Great Hall. I didn’t plan on running to the Great Hall, I was passing by and smelled sausages. Need I say more?
I spot two redheads chatting happily sitting beside one another. One of them is eating fruit for breakfast. “Rose, why do you always eat fruit for breakfast? It’s not right.” Rose rolls her eyes as I sit down across from her and my baby sister.
I fill up my plate quickly, ignoring Lily’s glare. I’m assuming she is still pissed at me for embarrassing her in front of that boy. Oh well, he looked like a poof anyway.
” Lily greets me through her teeth. The sudden anger she has for me makes me smile. I know Lils is mad at me and all for ruining her chances with that bloke, but Lily isn’t much for holding grudges. If she did, she wouldn’t be talking to James right now when he switched her shampoo with jell-o a few years back. That was classic.
I smile warmly at Lily and she frowns. “Good morning, sis! Coming to try-outs, yeah?” I think about try-outs. I wonder who will be there, who will be on the team, and if my baby sister will try to make-out with any of the blokes who are there. I don’t think so.
Her frown turns into a smile almost instantly. “Yes! I’m bleeding excited, guys. Do you think I’ll make the team, Rose?” she turns her attention to Rose, who I just notice now has started to read a text book.
Who reads on a Sunday morning? Rose Weasley, I tell you.
Rose keeps her eyes down on her text book but replies, “Of course, Lily. Bree would be daft to not put you on the team.” I agree with Rose on that one. If Palmer picks awful teammates, I’m going to send a horrible letter to James.
Lily sighs dramatically and frowns at her goblet. I’ve never really noticed how much Lily has changed from only last year. I mean, of course she would flirt with boys when she was younger, but it was only to Jackson and Zeke. They thought she was bloody annoying anyway. But last year she would always wear her hair in a messy pony-tail, and never in my entire life have I seen her wear make-up. Why is she now?
She’s still the same though. She still threatens boys, gives me dirty looks when I don’t let her play Quidditch with Zeke, Jackson, and I during the summer, and still doesn’t care that she gets dirty from playing Quidditch. But now she flirts with actual
blokes, wearing fucking make-up
, and makes her hair all shiny.
Merlin, what the fuck did you do to my baby sister? You’ve turned her into … Mona Jordan.
“Al. Albus!” I turn my attention to Lily, who looks pissed off. I must have been tuning her out when I was all dazed in my thoughts. “What is it?” I ask her and go back to eating my breakfast.
Lily’s face turns to a shade close to the color of her hair. Her face only turns that color when she is angry, embarrassed, or nervous. I’ll go with nervous since try-outs are soon.
“Do you think I’ll make the team? I heard loads of people are trying out for the last Chaser spot.” I smile half-heartedly and nod my head. If Palmer doesn’t make my baby sister the last Chaser I’m going to flip. Lils is a Potter! All Potter’s make the Quidditch team. And being half Weasley is an extra bonus.
“Albus, you’re being watched.” My brows furrow as I look at Rose questionably. She has a weird look on her face that I can’t identify as she cocks her head to what looks like the Ravenclaw table. I groan to myself because it’s probably bleeding Travis Randolf.
I turn my head to the Ravenclaw table and let my eyes wander. Where is that little fucker? I swear, the bloke is creepy.
“It’s Luxe Holland.” I hear Lily inform me. Who?
“Who is Luxe Holland?” I ask my sister and cousin in interest. They look at each other and gag. Lily sticks a finger in her mouth to mock puking, and Rose wrinkles her nose. Does Luxe Holland smell or something?
I wait impatiently for a few more moments before Rose decides to explain. “Luxe Holland is the most awful wench to ever be placed in Ravenclaw. She’s got a nasty attitude, and I catch her after hours almost every day either smoking or shagging some random bloke.”
Lily shakes her head and rolls her brown eyes. “I heard she was almost placed in Slytherin, and has sex with blokes just by looking at them.” Lily wrinkles her nose in disgust, and I decide to ignore that the word sex just came out of her mouth. Something no older brother should ever hear come out of their baby sisters mouth.
“So she’s a slut, you two are implying?” I say and look back at the Ravendorks table. I finally see a girl staring right back at me. She has long straight dark blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a seductive way to her facial features. Luxe Holland is pretty hot, actually.
“Stop staring at her like that, you dolt! Yes, she is a slut, but she’s also a bitch who starts rumors, gossips about everyone
and would only go out with you to shag you and be able to tell all her friends she shagged Harry Potter’s son,” Rose hisses at me and slaps the side of my head with her text book.
My hand rushes to the side of my head that is in utter pain right now. Thanks a lot, Rosey. I glare at Rose for a second until I find her glare is very frightening. Did she have to inherit that from Aunt Hermione?
“Don’t worry, I won’t even acknowledge her existence,” I reassured Rose and Lily, who looked quite pleased now. I sigh shortly and chug the rest of my pumpkin juice. “Try-outs are in an hour so I must wake up the mates and get ready. Goodbye, ladies,” I wave quickly and get up to leave.
Rose and Lily say quiet goodbyes and go back to chatting about woman things, I assume. Who even knows what girls talk about anyway? New hair products? I’m sure Randolf talks about that with his girly mates.
I feel a clap on my back as I am just a step away from leaving the Great Hall. “Good luck today, mate!” I recognize the voice and smirk at Joey Redbird. Joey is a fellow Gryffindor, but is a Sixth year. I used to think he was extremely annoying, until the guys and I decided to use him to do things for us. He is so desperate to be part of Zeke, Jackson, and I’s group that he does whatever the fuck we tell him to do.
“Thanks. You coming to try-outs? Keeper’s spot is open since McLaggen graduated last year,” I asked him. Joey has been wanting to be the Keeper since Fourth year, but the position has been kept by Stephen McLaggen all these years.
“Yeah, dude!” he answers loudly grinning. I try to not look like I don’t want to be here talking to him. Joey is all right, don’t get me wrong, but the boy is so loud and always so happy
it’s so fucking annoying. Morning people make me die a little inside.
“Cool. I’ll see you then,” I tell him and he nods his head and walks back to the Gryffindor table, playing an imaginary guitar. I remember Redbird constantly sent Jackson, Zeke, and I letters all summer before our Fifth year because he wanted to hang out. He’s fucking weird.
“Try-outs! Try-outs! Try-outs!” I yell, jumping up and down on the foot of Jackson’s bed. Jackson makes a weird noise against his pillow, and I see Zeke twitch in his messy bed. “Wake up, you fuckers!” I yell and jump from Jack’s bed to Zeke’s.
Zeke pushes me off his bed and I land on the floor. I notice Aiden’s bed is empty and the bathroom door is shut. At least one of them got up.
“Seriously, guys. Try-outs are in an hour, so you lot have to get the fuck up,” I tell them and pick up a couple of Zeke’s unused text books and bang them against the walls.
I’m turning into my Mother. Bugger on this.
“We’re up, you twat,” Jackson says with a smirk on his face. I smile at my best mates, who are just getting up from bed and gathering their clothes for the day. Zeke is digging in his dirty clothes bin, and Jackson starts banging on the bathroom door.
“Hurry up in there, Timber! We’ve all got to shower,” he says and smirks as Aiden replies, “I’m almost done. Sorry!” Aiden Timber is our fellow dorm mate. The bloke is the exact opposite of a Gryffindor student because he always takes our picking on him and sleeps with his blue blanket from home. None of us have told anybody, nor would we. Timber is a good bloke, who just doesn’t stand up for himself.
We just enjoy picking on him, that is all.
“Oi, Lily is trying out for Chaser so be easy on her,” I tell them and pick up my newly polished broomstick. The last thing I want is for Lils to be upset about not making the team. Well, that and for Palmer to murder me.
Zeke slips on an already worn t-shirt and smirks at me. “So, Lily has gotten… fit
over the summer, I noticed,” he tells me and nudges me in the stomach with his elbow. I know he is only teasing, but I want to rip his head off.
I push Zeke and he falls back onto his bed, and then chuckles at me. “I’m just messing with you! Well, Lily has gotten pretty good-looking, but don’t worry. I don’t touch my best mates sisters, you know that.” I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms over my chest.
“Jackson doesn’t have any sisters, you dolt,” I remind him and shake my head at his purposely stupidity. Zeke laughs and throws a pillow at my head. I chuckle and chuck the same pillow back at him.
The bathroom door opens to reveal a just showered Aiden. Zeke throws his pillow at Aiden and he falls back onto the ground with a groan. “Don’t take it personal,” Zeke tells him and laughs. Jackson and I both laugh as Aiden looks dizzy from his head connecting with the bathroom floor.
We really are dicks.
Once Jackson was ready, the three of us head to the Quidditch pitch.
“Man, I seriously can’t believe Palmer got Captain. She’s probably going to make us all paint our nails before games,” Zeke tells us and kicks a small rock out of his way.
Jackson shakes his head and grins, “I don’t think that. Palmer’s not that
horrible.” The three of us are quiet for a moment until we all just start laughing. Palmer is the fucking Devil, everyone knows that. Even Rose knows it, she just won’t admit it because they’re close friends.
As we near the pitch, I see Lily sitting on the ground watching as Palmer is setting up all the things for the try-outs and Alexandra Coast helps her. I wonder if Alexandra is trying out and if Palmer will only give her the position just because they’re best mates. I’ll be pissed, if that’s why.
“Fuck, Coast has gotten hot over the summer. I seriously thought she was a lad last year,” Zeke admits to us. Jackson chuckles and nudges Zeke on his scalp with his fist. Jackson always gets so pumped with anything related to being on the Quidditch pitch. That’s why he’s one of my best mates.
When we finally reached them, loads of students are walking towards us. The only positions that are open are Keeper, Chaser, and Beater and yet they’re about ten people here wanting to try-out. Sucks for Palmer because she has to deal with the loser’s tears and whining.
“Potter,” I hear Palmer call behind me. I want to ignore her but unfortunately she has the power to kick me off the team. “Yes?” I grit through my teeth as I turn to face her. She has her hands on her hips as she stares at me in disgust. I’m not disgusting, I’m fucking awesome.
“Just so you know, I’m still very mad at you for shaving Arwen. If you ever touch him again, you’ll be kicked off the team before you can say Quidditch,” she just threatened me. She just threatened to kick me
off the team
. I told you she’s evil.
I force a smile, which she furrows her brows at. “Don’t worry, Palmer,” I tell her and set my broom beside Lily on the ground. Lily stares at it with big and curious eyes. I turn my back and see Zeke flirting with Alexandra, who is trying to ignore him, and Jackson polishing his Beaters bat.
I’m so pumped.
“All right, students. The only positions open are one Chaser, one for Beater, and the Keeper. Whoever is trying out for Keeper, sit on the far right of the stands. Chaser, the far left, and Beater, right in the middle,” Palmer instructed the students and looked down at the clip board in her hands. Why the frig does she need a clip board?
I see Joey sitting on the Keeper side, chatting with the people around him, waving his hands around and almost hitting a girl sitting beside him in the face.
“Whose first?” I hear Jackson ask Palmer. She stares down at her clip board. I look over her shoulder and see a list of students on it. “Keeper,” she answers and looks up. “Holden Daniels for Keeper, you’re up!” she calls and a tall boy stands up. He has dark brown hair with dark skin and sly smirk on his face. I already don’t like him.
The boy sucked. I’ll admit, I thought he was going to do quite well but the chap didn’t block any bludgers Jackson threw at him. Joey and a short pretty blonde are the only good Keepers we’ve seen today. I’d pick the short girl, whatever her name is, because I think I’d end up sending Joey to the Hospital wing with his invisible guitar.
Palmer sighs deeply beside me and I cock an eye brow at her. Already getting frustrated with being Captain? This is only the beginning, Palmer.
“Beaters! Alexandra, you’re first,” Palmer calls and winks at Alexandra. Coast grins and flies up into the air. Palmer ordered Zeke to fill in for Keeper for the Beaters try-outs and he obliged.
Alexandra hits I think eight in a row and most of the students trying out for Beater get up and leave. She was that
fucking amazing. Zeke is the loudest applauding, and Alexandra rolls her eyes at him and lands on the ground with a triumph grin. Palmer will be daft to not make Alexandra the Beater.
After Alexandra sat down on the stands, two more students went up for the position. They were actually quite well, although not as great as Alexandra so I hardly paid any attention to them.
Palmer calls Lily first for Chaser. I never knew Lily was extremely athletic and amazing at Quidditch. I knew she loved the sport, but I never knew she could actually play
the sport. Though, she is not as great as me, I have to mention.
More players went up for Chasers than any other position but I’m sure Lils will get the position because she flew circles easily around them. All Potters are great at Quidditch. It is what it is.
Everyone was done with try-outs so the guys and I decided to stand and wait for Palmer to decide on who was going to make the team. Last year James didn’t have much for try-outs only when our last Chaser was injured and we needed someone to take their place.
I watch as Palmer takes a deep breath in and then let it out a moment later. We can all tell she’s nervous about telling the losers they we’re too sucky for our team this year. I still don’t understand why James chose her over me.
“All right, everyone,” she shouts. “Keeper this year will be Joey Redbird. Congratulations, Joey!” I stop myself from groaning as Joey begins to shout ‘Yeahs’ jumping around like a fucking gorilla. I hate Palmer.
“Chaser is Lily Potter. Great job, Lily!” Palmer smiles at Lily as Lily’s face turns pink from all the stares from the people around her. I give her a thumbs up.
“And lastly, Beater is Peter Dale. Welcome to the team, everyone!” Palmer smiles weakly and quickly gets all the supplies together. My jaw is probably on the ground right now.
She chose Dale over Coast? Oh my fuck, did she not see Coast out there? I look to see Alexandra’s expression and she looks shocked. Not mad, or close to tears, just shocked. I told you James is a stupid toe-rag.
I stomp to Palmer, who is kneeling on the ground putting the bludgers back in its case. “Palmer! Are fucking on something? Why didn’t you give position to Coast? She was excellent!” I demand and stare down at her. Palmer gives me a hard look and stands up.
“Because, Potter! Just because she is my best mate doesn’t mean I’m just going to pick her,” she explains like its so obvious. Who bloody cares if they’re best friends? Coast was fucking amazing out there, she deserves to be Beater. Not that Dale wasn’t bad, he was good. But Coast was better.
Palmer lets out a sigh of irritation and rolls her brown eyes at me. “Just shut up, Potter. I’m Captain and I think Dale is right for the team. I think Alexandra was great too, I’m not stupid. I just think Peter will be best for the team instead.”
I roll my green eyes back at her and search for Peter. Lily is currently chatting with him, batting her eye lashes at him. I narrow my eyes at the back of his head and stomp my way over to them.
Dale sees me coming and takes off running. Shit, talk gets around school about my reaction to boys being around my baby sister.
I run after him to hex the crap out of him but I trip over a stick and grass lands in my mouth. The taste of humiliation. I lift my head and see Palmer walking up to me laughing. She kicks me hard in the leg.
Fuck you, Palmer.
What did you all think? I hope you all looooved it (: & we first saw Luxe Holland. Don't worry, you'll see much more of her soon. Verrrr' soon ;D
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