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Let's Pretend by NextBigThing
Chapter 4 : Of Punching Bags, Late Arrivals, and Indecent Exposures.
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 6

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This chapter is dedicated to EllynRose who reviewed every single chapter and made my week!

Disclaimer: NOPE!

I was flying on the back of a unicorn. Don’t ask me how it had wings, it just DID. It was a magical rainbow sparkly unicorn and I was having the time of my life.

“Lilyyyy!” It said. “Liiilyyyy!”

“Yes, magical sparkly rainbow unicorn?” I replied dreamily.

“Lily, you’re going to be late.”

Late for what, I wanted to ask. But before I could, my beautiful unicorn turned into a horrible furry monster!

“LIIIIILLLLLYYY!” It roared. “GET YOUR SKINNY WHITE GIRL ARSE OUT OF THAT BED THIS INSTANT!” It was funny how much the monster sounded like Karyn.

“LILY!” Another monster shouted.

“Lily Lily Lily!”

“LILY EVANS!” I woke with a start. Looming over my four-poster bed were Karyn, Caity, and Lissa. Alice was already gone, and they were--

Oh, Sweet Merlin.


I was out of my bed and into the bathroom like a bullet. I hastily attacked my annoyingly long red locks with a comb, brushed my pearly-whites, put on a smidgen of mascara and eyeliner, and then went back into the dormitory to get dressed. I grabbed the first things I saw, and within 10 minutes I was ready.

“Lily, come ON!” Lissa shouted, gesturing out the door. The only thing I was thinking while we ran was that I hadn’t gotten breakfast.

So that’s how I ended up 5 minutes late to Charms (I had gotten my schedule from a passing McGonagall), wearing (of course) the skirt I had had since 4th year, a fairly see-through white shirt who’s top buttons were broken, the lacy black push-up bra Allie had given me as a gag birthday present last year, and the only pair of heels that I owned. I looked like a grade-A slag!

“Sorry-professor--I--they woke me up late--and--sorry.” I panted. My stomach let out a fairly loud growl.

“That’s quite alright, Miss Evans!” Flitwick chirped. “Please just take a seat next to Mr. Potter, and we can begin!”

My mouth dropped open. Of course. OF COURSE. The only day I have EVER looked like I did today, I had to sit next to Potter. Why does Merlin hate me?

“Lookin’ good, Evans.” He smirked. His eyes ran over my entire body. It made me want to take one of the rocks we were duplicating today and smash it into his (far too good looking) face.

“Yeah, Evans, I definitely think this is an improvement!” This time, I smirked. Whoever had said that would have a black eye from Potter pretty damn soon. Charms class? What charms class? James was physically shaking. I think if he was a porcupine he would be shooting quills right about now.

“HEY. BLETCHEY. KEEP YOUR FILTHY EYES OFF MY WOMAN!” He roared, shooting a death glare his way.

“I am NOT your woman, Potter!” I muttered

“Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, Mr. Bletchey--”

“I CAN LOOK AT WHOEVER I WANT, POT-HEAD!” Evan Bletchey shouted back.



“EVERYONE CALM DOWN!” I shrieked, my hands on both of their chests, keeping them apart.


The entire class went silent, then--

CRUNCH. The sound of someone’s nose being broken. And by the howls of pain and rage coming from next to me, well, three guesses as to who got punched.

The class gasped. This was better than a Soap Opera! I sighed.

“Potter, let me see it, it can’t be that bad, you’re just--”


“Really, it’s just a break, we’ll take you to Madam Pom--”



“You’re shirt buttons are undone.” He said, with another goddamned smirk.

I slowly looked down.

There, in all it’s glory, was the black lacy push up bra.

I let out a shriek of indignation and started buttoning up as fast as I could but not before--

“Mr. Potter, Mr. Bletchey, I would have expected this from you. But I expected better of you, Miss Evans! All three of you, report to the Headmaster’s office immediately! I am absolutely appalled by your behavior!” Flitwick squeaked angrily, “And 20 points from Gryffindor and Slytherin!”





Potter. Must. Die. Horrible. Death. Soon.

Perhaps he could meet with an…accident?

But that would ruin his beautiful face!

Shut it, Carrot. I don’t need your nonsense right now.

Did you see James’ face when Bletchey said that? He was totally ready to defend your honor!!

Lalalalalaaa! I’m not LISTENING!

And how his muscles felt when you had your hand on his chest? Oooh la la!!


Oh, pooh. You’re no fun.

Hey, I am SO fun!

Oh, really?

Yes really, Carrot! So GO AWAY!

Fine. I’m leaving.

Great. Bye.



“Evans, you’re a prefect, right? What’s the password?” Jam--POTTER asked, snapping me out of it. He looked really stupid with a broken nose. Ha. He looks so stupid that people should be backing away like, ‘If I back away slooowwwlly, maybe I won’t catch whatever disease he has’! So, HA, Potter, HA!

“…Evans?” He was looking at me funny. What? What is it? Do I have something in my--oh. Right. Password.

“Uh, it’s Lemon Drop.” I said rather lamely. Mmm, Lemon Drop. I didn’t get any breakfast this morning, and I think that if I don’t get some food soon I think I might pass out!

Potter was still looking at me strangely when the door slid open and out walked none other than our famous headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore!

A round of applause, please!

…Or not.

“Why hello, Miss Evans, Mr. Bletchey. Mr. Potter, what have you done to your nose?” He asked kindly, peering over his spectacles to look down at us.

Yes, down at us.

The man is really bloody tall.

It sort of gives me vertigo.

“Well, Professor, Potter was attempting to defend my honor or something, and then Bletchey punched him.” I explained exasperatedly, rolling my eyes at the two of them.

“And why would you be here, then? It seems as though you had nothing to do with it!” He replied, smiling at me.

“Well,” Potter began, smirking.


I am NOT getting detention for this!

“She got sent here for indecent exposure, although I have to say I certainly didn’t mind!” Bletchey finished triumphantly.

And that’s when Potter punched Bletchey a teensy bit south of his stomach, I fainted, and everything went to Hell.











A/N: *cringes and hides behind a bookshelf* Sorry sorry sorry for the long wait! I have a million excuses, I really do!

...However, I will not bore you with them! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, It was a bit strange for me to write, but hopefully it was better than I thought it would be!


Haha. Okay. I gotta go.


xoxo Lulu

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