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Never Look Back by silverstarletworld89
Chapter 1 : Prologue
 
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 14


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Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you got to do it over again?

Would you still do the same things?
Would you act differently?
Look better?
Make better decisions?
Take away all of your embarrassing moments?

At this particular moment in your life, would you follow the same journey that you took to be who you are today? Or would you reverse back and take a different journey?

There are so many different roads in life you can take, each with its own little adventure.

Some people go off the rails.
Some go round in circles.
Others hit a dead end.

Yet, it’s only after you near the end of your adventure that you think back and say ‘Why the fuck did I go down this road?’

Looking back at my twenty years of life, I found that I had chosen the shittiest road possible on the way to finding myself.

Who the real Rose Weasley is.

However I’m hoping now, that my life’s road has finished with all the wrong turns and is finally leading me in the right direction.

Because at the end of the day, all the roads lead to the person that you’re meant to and supposed to be right?

Good, glad you agree.

***

Analysing every detail of my appearance in the mirror, I curse my mum and dad for giving me such delayed genes. My mum and Grandma Molly had mentioned many times how I was just a late bloomer, and now finally, at long last, I feel I have transformed from the caterpillar into the beautiful butterfly.

Seven years ago I looked nothing like I did now. My hair was just as bushy as my mum’s was in school, taking on the vibrant colour of carrot orange and never staying tame. To any unsuspecting person, it looked like I had my mum’s old cat, Crookshanks, on my head, until they realised it was actually my hair. If only someone had told me that Muggle hair products were the way forward, it would have helped me a lot.

My body was even worse. At thirteen, I was freakishly tall compared to everyone else. At 5 ft 7, I towered over most of my year. It was not until most of the boys had their growths spurts throughout fourth and fifth year that I didn’t feel like such a giant. My chest was as flat as an ironing board and it seemed that I had the unfortunate luck of having the Weasley hunger but not the metabolism. So while most of my cousins seemed to have a slender body figure, my food went straight to my face and thighs and stayed there. I wasn’t fat, I knew I wasn’t. But with my body the way it was, I just looked out of proportion, it just looked awkward.

I was just awkward.

Now, maturing like some cheddar cheese, after seven years I have finally grown into my looks. My thick, auburn hair falls in glamorous ringlets just over my shoulders, thanks to my Muggle hairdresser. Long thick lashes cover my eyes, giving them a sultry blue hue. My features are adorned with a golden, sun-kissed complexion that I achieved from spending two years abroad. Rose coloured lips that seemed to be saying words of seduction, even when they are closed. The curves of my body have at long last grown into their proper shape, giving me an hourglass figure, topped off with my now toned, long legs that seem to go on forever.

For so long, I craved for that media perception of beauty, hoping that it will change me, hoping that now people would be able to see another side of me, instead of just my awkwardness. And hopeful, that my new found ‘beauty’ would help give me the confidence to overcome my inner struggles. But, if anything, I think it made it harder.

It’s a struggle, really pulling down the walls. Which is why I had to get away.

I had missed my family so much on my time abroad and now, for James’ 21st birthday, I will see them for the first time in two years. I didn’t want to leave my family, but I had to go. I needed time to become ........Me.

I had found abroad what I needed to find, confidence and the strength to love who I am. Now I needed to hold on to that, I needed to bring it back to the place where it really mattered. My home.

At school, I was a loner; finding solace within books, I spent most days by myself in the library, unless I sat with my cousins. During my first year, I found that people were only using me because of how smart they thought I was and who my family were. It was then that I decided that I was better off alone. Because when you’re alone, you do not have to worry about who you can and can’t trust; I didn’t even contemplate giving them a second chance.

So while my cousins basked in the glory, I shied away from it, adding more and more layers to hide myself from the outside world. My first couple of years at Hogwarts were spent blending into the surroundings, being invisible. And the last two.........

Well, during the last two, I wished I was invisible.

Sighing deeply, I came out of my thoughts and moved away from the mirror to crouch down beside my bed. Moving my arm around a few times underneath it, I finally found what I was looking for. Holding the shoe box, I emptied out the contents onto the bed and started to rummage. Now lying on my bed were my seven year memories of Hogwarts.

Talk about opening a can of worms, I knew I should have done this yesterday but me being who I am, I left it until the last minute.

Sorting through the pictures, I burst out laughing at a picture that I clocked eyes on. It was one of Albus spread-eagled on the floor in the room of requirement on the day of James 17th birthday and, unfortunately for James, the house Quidditch final.

Gryffindor vs Slytherin.

Albus had gotten absolutely wasted and was flaunting it in James’ face how Slytherin had finally beaten Gryffindor after six years. James was absolutely livid. God help them for the following year when it was James’ last year and Al was to become the next Slytherin Captain. The arguments and pranks that they conducted against each other, was definitely something to have called in the camera crew for.

A grin spread across my face, mimicking the ones that Molly, Fred, James and I were wearing in the photo. We were all grinning like Cheshire cats and throwing our heads back in silent laughter, over a slumbering Al. Al had passed out on the floor and, us being the loving family that we were, stripped him down and put him in girl’s underwear.

A bra and a Gryffindor thong to be correct.

We charmed it so that he wouldn’t be able to get it off for a week. We never heard the end of his complaints, saying that he felt that he had a permanent wedgie and that he could not understand how girls could wear them. It never stopped him from chasing the Queen of slags around Hogwarts who wore them though, did it.

I had never seen James laugh so hard. He was so happy that his birthday wish had come true that year. I placed the picture in my handbag; I couldn’t wait to show this to Al later.

I placed the photograph with another picture, the one that I had been looking for. It was one with James in his Hogwarts’ graduation outfit, surrounded by every single Weasley, Potter and Lupin. No one was really paying that much attention to the cameraman and I’m still surprised we all managed to fit in one photograph.

Reminiscing old times, my mind conjured up some other, not so happy memories from my time at Hogwarts.

I felt tears prickling in my eyes.

Stop Rose!

No more tears. You are stronger now.

As I was placing the last few items in the shoe box, a sliver twinkle caught the corner of my eye. I picked it up and stared longingly at the memorable chain with a beautiful diamond encrusted snake at the end. Only one thought came to my mind.

Scorpius Malfoy.

With that the tears just started falling.

I shed the layers that I covered myself with and bared my soul to him. He was the one person outside my family who I thought loved me for me. But there you go; it just goes to show you how wrong I could be. Malfoy was just another person using me; I only wish that I could have seen that then.

Throwing the chain as hard as I could at the wall, I stormed out of my room.

How it is that after all these years that one name can drive me insane?
How can it be that after the way he treated me and every humiliating thing he did, he still gets to me?

All of these questions I long to answer.

Storming through my kitchen, I picked up James’ birthday card and my house keys and headed for the door. Turning back to double check that everything in my apartment is how it should be, I locked the door.

Now that I have been back in England, it has been quite a few times that I have thought about my fellow classmates. Thinking about the past and how things have turned out.

***

I found that the key to your future is to look forward; you cannot change the past so there is no need to dwell on it. You need to keep your eyes focused on the road and see clearly what direction you are heading in. Because you may find that you were so busy looking back, that you missed your flipping turning.

If only someone had told me that before.

I hate learning the hard way.
 
 



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Silverstarletworld89.


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