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Living a Lie. by Miss Haggan
Chapter 17 : Chapter 16: Life goes on
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 4

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Almost three months later Harry was getting back to his normal self, he was able to pick up his children now and was also able to play with them, as well doing small chores. However everyone was still grieving for Isobella and the house often had a sombre mood. Not many people visited anymore due to the family’s grieving process and the house seemed quite, despite having three lively young children living there.

Harry also had begun the healing process of his family; he had serious talks with both of his parents and issued them with an ultimatum. They either had to put their differences aside, for the sake of their grandchildren, or they’d both be forced to move out. It was the last thing Harry wanted to do, but he had to think of the damage it could do to his kids. In the end both Lily and James agreed to be civil around the children.

So for now, things were tense but civil and things were slowly being pieced back together. Harry had made a point about everyone spending a lot of time together, to make their bond stronger. They had all their meals together, their ‘me’ time and two or three hours before bed spent together. Hermione had also asked for her and Harry to have an hour or two alone time together each day, since Harry’s near death accident, she had been feeling vulnerable and felt they needed a bit of extra bonding time.

Lily and James were left together most of time, looking after their grandchildren, and as a result Lily found that she was able to be nice to James without pretending, she found that the atmosphere was less tense between them and they were talking just like they used to. In fact when they were apart Lily found herself missing him terribly, her old feelings were being awakened, she missed his smell and his touch. She missed waking up in bed beside him and the way he used to hold her protectively at night, heck she missed it all. But she had screwed up, now that her grief was subsiding, she was starting to realise just how irrational she was, she now understood that it wasn’t James’ fault he had post natal depression and that they only reason he kept it to himself was because he didn’t want to hurt his wife and child. Lily always knew how good of a father and a husband James was, no matter what his feelings…but grief does bad things to people, there was no way back for them was there?

Lily was snapped out of her thoughts when the man himself walked in, looking just as handsome as ever, Lily felt her heart flutter and miss a beat, a feeling she hadn’t felt since she lost her daughter, she had been so angry at James she forgot how she felt about him.

“Hey.” he said brightly when he saw her.

“Hey, how are you?” She asked, desperate for any kind of interaction with him.

“I’m ok, you might find it hard to believe but I miss Isobella and I’m slowly coming to terms with the accident, but I still don’t like seeing what it’s doing to Harry…and to you.”

“I don’t find that hard to believe, James I’ve been thinking a lot recently and I’ve realised how irrational I’ve been, I was so wrong to hate you for something you couldn’t help but feel, I was wrong to leave you and I miss you.”

“Don’t do this Lily.” James said getting up from the chair he was sitting on.

“Why not James? I was wrong to do what I did, and I am truly sorry…isn’t this what you want James, I love you, I want us to be together again.” She had now stood up too and was gripping on to James’ t-shirt in a pleading manner. He lifted his hands and held the sides of her face and he brought her lips to his in a bittersweet kiss.

“I want it more than anything right now, but I can’t…we can’t.”

“Why not?” Lily cried

“No matter what happened or what you did, I’d always love you and I still do. I can get so angry with you but at the same time be completely in love with you, but never can I hate you…yet you’ve said you hated me more than once. Lily that hurts, it’s breaks my heart, how can you say you love me but yet hate me?”

“It was the grief James, I really do love you.”

“Maybe so Lily, but I’m hurt right now, give me the chance to heal.” he whispered and walked out of the living room and straight into Harry.

“Are you alright dad?” Harry asked

“You mum asked if we could try again.”

“Well that’s good isn’t it?” Harry asked confused

“It’s brilliant, but she has hurt me so bad Harry, I just can’t forgive her for that, she has said countless times that she has hated me, how can you hate someone you’re supposed to love?”

“I can’t help you there dad, I can never hate Hermione, I love her too much.”

“That’s my point, I’m to hurt at the minute Harry and I need time to heal.”

“I understand dad, just remember life is too short.”

 Lily woke with a jolt from a fitful night’s sleep; her dreams had been haunted with nightmares of James. James dyeing, James walking out, James saying he never wanted to be with her again. It was endless, her life was in tatters and she could do nothing to put it back together…she felt utterly useless. She looked over to the clock on her bed side table 5:15 it read, she groaned and looked over to her window, through the little gap that her closed curtains made she could see that it was still dark outside, but it was pointless her trying to get back to sleep, so instead she but on her slippers and house coat and headed down to the kitchen for some much needed coffee.

After two hours of sitting staring into the vast nothingness, Lily was jolted from her thoughts by the sound of her grandchildren crying for their parents attention, she sighed realising that her peace and quiet was about to be disturbed and not felling like socialising, she drank the last of her fifth cup of coffee and headed for the door. Just as she was about to reach the handle though, a light tap came from the window, she looked to see a rather large owl sitting perched on the window sill, she walked over and opened the window and let the huge owl in. It fluttered about for a few seconds, before landing on the counter, and sticking out its leg, Lily took the rolled up parchment and the owl swooped off, she looked at the writing that was scribbled on and the official looking stamp. It was addressed to Harry and looked like it was from the Ministry of Magic.

“Harry!” Lily shouted running out of the kitchen, she ran up to his room and banged on the door.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked panicked when he’d opened the door. Lily just shoved the official looking letter into his hands. Lily watched the colour drain from Harry’s face as he read the letter, by now Hermione and James had joined them, both wondering what all the commotion was.

“Harry, what does it say?” Hermione asked worried.

“It’s a letter from the ministry saying that the trial for Bellatrix Lestrange will be starting tomorrow, I have to attend, meaning that I have to hear her reasons for killing Isobella.”

“Harry are you sure you’re ready for something like that?” James asked him worriedly.

“It doesn’t matter whether I’m ready or not, I have to see that this woman pays for taking the life of my sister.”

“But Harry I don’t think you’d be ready for something like that, not tomorrow. Isn’t there someone else who can go?” Hermione asked

“No it has to be me, this is important to me.”

“Ok then but let someone go with you, me your, mum, or your dad.”

“If it keeps you happy, I’ll ask Sirius to go with me, he’d be more than happy to see Bellatrix being sent down.”

Harry spent the rest of the day felling down, he tried to put on a happy face, but everyone knew that his mind was on this trial, he was defiantly not ready for it, but Harry was adamant that he was going to do it, no matter how much it was hurting him. Luckily for him he was getting some support, Sirius said yes immediately to Harry’s request and was happy to support his godson.

That night Harry was the one who had the fitful night’s sleep, he dreamed of Bellatrix’s ugly face and Isobella’s frightened one as the killing curse flew towards her. Needless to say it was going to be a very long day for Harry tomorrow.

A.N Another chapter completed, please tell me what you think.

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