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Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes by baletgir
Chapter 1 : Home For Summer Holiday
Rating: 15+Chapter Reviews: 11

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Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes
Chapter 1: Home For Summer Holiday

Image by Stand & Fall

“So,” Lily whispers, squished in between her two brothers in the back seat. “Are the two of you going to ruin this summer for me, too? Or are you going to be able to control yourselves and not fight every three seconds?” James just turns his head away from her in response and complains to himself some more about how his parents refuse to let him Apparate home on his own.

“Now remember, Nana Molly is having the welcome home dinner on Saturday,” Harry reminds his family as they pull into the driveway. “It should be really good this year, especially since everyone is older.”

“Good point, even little Molly just finished her first year, though George still acts as if he should be beginning Hogwarts any day now! He’s truly the youngest of us all, him and Ron that is,” Ginny adds. James takes this moment of conversation to make a dash for the house. “James! I know you are excited to be home, but could you please wait until your father parks the car before jumping out?” Not even through the front door and his Mum is already yelling at him. That isn’t exactly how James wants to start his summer, but it doesn’t really bother him all that much.

He pauses on the front steps, but doesn’t make an attempt to turn around. “Sorry Mum,” James responds, not sounding sorry in the least, and attempts to head inside.

“Not so fast,” Ginny continues, “come help with the trunks!” She watches as he slowly turns himself around, preparing to glare at his Mum, but seemingly decides at the last moment that it wouldn’t be the best way to continue the first hour of summer.

With a forced smile, James trudges toward the car and finds himself a real reason to smile, he is extremely happy to be of age. Using his wand, he easily floats his trunk up through the front door and up the stairs, finally slowing down as he reaches his room. He does so without a single glance back to watch Al and Lily struggle hopelessly with Al’s trunk while Harry is busy levitating Lily’s to the front step. Ginny had been so busy yelling at James, that she had forgotten all about her other children. Al isn’t able to use magic yet and neither is Lily. The joys of being the oldest briefly cross James’ mind.

Setting his trunk down on his bedroom floor, he looks as if he is going to unpack when he opens the lid. This possibility vanishes as soon as it appeared, with the sound of James landing on his bed with parchment and quill in hand. He hastily scribbles a note to his best-friend and possibly only sane extended family member, Fred. Knowing he doesn’t have much more time to himself, he recklessly ties the letter onto Crunchy’s leg and sends the owl off into the sky.

“James!” His dad yells from downstairs, “Where are you?” Annoyed, James dashes down the stairs to the sitting room where he finds the rest of his family: the four other Potters.

“Thank you for finally joining us,” his mum says, though it appeares she had wanted to yell it.

“What’s the big deal? I’m here, just went up to my room for a second,” James responds, knowing exactly why they are upset.

“James, you weren’t planning on coming back down until we yelled for you, and with this being the sixth year you have returned from Hogwarts, that shouldn’t have been necessary. You know we all sit down and talk about your year at school, immediately,” Harry says, emphasizing the last word beyond that of all the others.

“Yeah, yeah Dad. No big deal,” James says, plopping down on the couch facing his parents in between Al and Lily.

Ignoring her son’s rudeness, Ginny begins, “So Al, how do you think your O.W.L.s went?”

“Mum, really? You sound like Aunt Hermione! I don’t feel like talking about it,” Albus answers sounding exasperated.

“Al, your mum just wants to know what’s going on, and what to expect when we get your results in a few weeks, though I’m sure you did your best,” Harry says, always acting as the referee.

“Come on kids, we hear so little during your short school holidays that we need to be caught up now!” Ginny is starting to get annoyed with how little her kids are revealing, it is going to be a long night.


James tears out his room at the speed of a snitch. “Al! Where are my map and cloak? Did you take them?”

“What are you on about?” Al yells back from his room across the hall.

“My map and cloak! You know the Marauder’s Map and the Invisibility Cloak, I can’t find them!” James continues to yell, though the slightest bit softer this time since he is now approaching Al’s door.

“Your map and cloak? I don’t think so. And it’s summer! What do you need the map for? And it’s only the first night back, you can’t possibly be considering sneaking out with the cloak already,” Al avoids James’s point.

“Doesn’t matter why, I just want to know where they are!” says an annoyed James.

“Well, maybe I have them, but they are ours to share. Dad gave them to the both of us!” Al says, getting defensive and refusing to give James any further information.

“It doesn’t matter that he gave them to both of us, I’m older, so that’s all that really matters, and I think you should just…” But James never gets to finish his thought because a very loud Harry yells up the stairs, “Knock it off you two! You better not be fighting by the time I get up there!” Which is then followed by ever looming footsteps. James sends a last glare toward Al, who had finally come out of his room during their dad’s rant, and James turns towards his own room.

“Everything okay now?” Harry asks.

“Fine, Dad,” the boys respond in unison. James makes a reach for his bedroom door in hope of conveying that the fighting was over.

“You sure about that? You haven’t even been home a day, please try to be civil. I don’t know if I can take an entire summer of this,” their dad warns and heads upstairs to his princess Lily’s room; little does Harry know, but the only fighting that was over was the yelling.

Once he is sure his dad has made it all the way back to the sitting room, James pulls out his wand, Al was only a moment behind. Pointing their wands at one another they speak in hushed whisper-yells. “Al, just give me the damn cloak!”

“No way! You want the one thing of the two that is actually useful outside of school? No way in hell!” Al responds in the same harsh tones.

“Expelliarmus!” James yells and Al’s wand goes flying toward James’s outstretched hand and into a glass vase sitting on a table behind him. “Crap!”

“Nice going, James!” Al explods while going for his wand and trying to put it away before their mum comes upstairs.

“What is going on? I thought your dad already spoke with you?” Ginny Weasley says angrily, that is not a room anyone wants to be in. And this is without her seeing the destruction caused by Al’s wand. She chooses this moment to turn towards James and sees the broken glass along the way. “What did you do!?” The boys’ mum screams.

“Well, you see it was quite funny to be honest,” James attempts a smile, which is a bad idea.

“Funny? You think this is funny? There is no way that even you, James Sirius Potter, can make this remotely humorous. Go to your rooms, both of you, now!” Not wanting her to get any angrier, James and Al do as they are told and head in opposite directions.

After he closes his door partially shut behind himself, James pulls out a piece of parchment from his trunk and sits on his bed. He writes a quick note and taps it with his wand and it folds up into an airplane. With another quick spell, which he is glad he had had his dad teach him at the Ministry last summer, the little paper plane flies out of James’s room and across the hall.

Unable to use magic to send it back, Al is forced to throw it back the Muggle way. In almost no time James hears a thump against his door. He gets up and reaches for his letter and sees only two big, fat letters scribbled:


With a sigh, James crumples up the parchment and throws it in the direction of his wastebasket. He isn’t going to let Al get away with the cloak that easily. Silently, he walks to his bedroom door, listening for the sound of his mum heading up to bed. Almost a half hour passes before he believes he finally heard her go. After, waiting a few more moments, James tiptoes across the hallway and lets himself into Al’s room. Without a glance up from his book, Al simply says, “No.”

“But Al!” James complains and begin to search Al’s trunk.

Still looking at his book, Al doesn’t seem to care as he says, “You’re not going to find it. My trunk is completely empty by the way, except for my school robes.”

Getting angry, James tore across the room and continues his search by throwing open the wardrobe and drawers to Al’s dresser. He doesn’t care about the loud racket he is making, but Ginny does.

Al hears the quick footsteps first and they finally make him look up from his book. James doesn’t realize until the moment before he sees his mother burst through the door.

“Hey Mum!” James says trying to shut the drawer he had recently opened behind his back.

Ignoring him, Ginny continues, “you keep this up James and your Uncle George will have a free helper for the rest of the summer! And don’t tempt me, because you know I will.”

“Sorry Mum, I’m heading to bed now,” James says as he slowly backs out of the room.

“And you better stay there!” Ginny threatens.


James did as he was told and was careful to tread lightly as he made his way down to breakfast the following morning.

“Morning,” He mumbles as he sits at the table and is handed a plate of eggs. He receives no response except a quick glance from both of his parents. Deciding that this tension will not be easily broken, James feels that it would be best to focus on his breakfast at the moment.

Unexpectedly, Harry speaks, “James, about last night, that cannot continue all summer long. I’m not going to give you the whole older brother needs to set an example talk, I know it won’t work, but you have to think a little. Now, I know you only think your mum was kidding last night about working for Uncle George, but I really think you need to get a job and do something productive this summer,” Harry pauses and looks toward Ginny to continue.

“I was all for letting you find something on your own, but your dad convinced me to write George earlier this morning to see if he needed some cheap help. He agreed, but only if you behave yourself. And I mean it, you put a single toe out of line, and you will be kissing your Quidditch captaincy away for this coming year. That is if Professor Longbottom is crazy enough to give it to you again.” James cannot believe his mother.

“But Mum, you couldn’t possibly-”

“Couldn’t possibly get your captaincy taken away? Try me. You make any trouble for George and you can just see then.” She looks pretty serious to James. He is actually afraid of his own mum, and it isn’t the first time.

When Al comes down for breakfast awhile later James expects him to be given the same warning and punishment, but no such thing occurs. Instead, an owl begins to peck at the window.

“That must be George again,” Harry says, reaching to open the locked window. He skillfully removes the letter from the owl and sends it back on its way empty handed. “James, you are to report to the store on Wednesday at seven in the morning. So, that gives you today and tomorrow at home, I expect you to be an angel, or else you will lose this job and be confined to your room for the rest of the summer.”

“Seven in the morning?” James complains, missing anything else his dad said after that.

“Yes, James,” his mother responds, her voice thick with sarcasm, but not the light joking kind, more of the hurtful sarcasm, “responsible people, known as adults, work all day, normally starting early in the morning.”

And that is how James Sirius Potter got a job working at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes.

So I just redid this chapter into the present tense. I am 100% sure that I missed some verbs, or changed some incorrectly, so if you do notice that, please POINT IT OUT!

Author's Note: So this is the FIRST CHAPTER of my first ever multi chaptered piece! I am so so so excited! PLease remember to leave a review, I want to know what you think of this so I can continue with the chapters improving on one another.

Leslie @ TGS was a wonderful Beta, much thanks! A big thanks to WondrousStrange for telling me to keep the title simple, and to CherryBear for waking up and creating such a great summary! Also thanks to butterbeergal and dracolovergirl5000 for some great ideas! I hope you enjoyed reading!


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