She traced patterns on her fiancé’s stomach as he stared fixedly at the muggle television on the other side of the room. She and Sirius were lying in bed at nine at night and they weren’t even doing anything naughty, much to Adara’s dismay.
She scowled into his bare chest as she thought about the argument he’d made earlier that evening when she’d crawled on top of him; it’s Halloween, love. And as much as I would love to shag you silly right now, I know for a fact that the Whites in the flat below us are having a sleep over for their fourteen-year-old daughter and I think they might get a bit anxious if they hear us going at it. She’s opened her mouth to protest then, but he continued, plus you’ve been on your feet all day, and you know the baby needs you to relax.
So she’d collapsed on the bed next to him, and had been pouting ever since. She was only three months along, the baby didn’t have a brain enough to know that it wanted. Plus, Lily and James were bloody rabbits the whole time Lily was preggers and it didn’t look like it affected Harry much, did it? That boy was over one year old now and he surely got into enough trouble to be an average toddler.
I mean sure, he ran into the occasional wall and liked to drag the cat around by its tail, but that obviously had nothing to do with James and Lily having sex almost every night for nine months.
And the subsequent fifteen months, come to think of it. If Adara walked in the house and heard those horrid sounds one more time she was going to sign them both up for sex addiction classes. Separately.
And here she was, lying with her half-naked fiancé in only a t-shirt and her favorite boyshort knickers herself and he didn’t want to have sex with her because it could hurt the baby. She never had any fun.
Alright, so that was a lie, they did ‘have fun’ quite often, but that’s not the point. The point is that Adara wanted to do something other than lay here but Sirius seemed perfectly content watching whatever the hell was on the muggle television.
She should have never let her mother show him how to work that thing.
“Are you still pouting?” Sirius asked, running a hand through her straight chin-length hair (it was more convenient for work and, despite what she had previously thought, it did look pretty good short).
“Maybe,” Adara huffed.
She heard and felt him chuckle, “Don’t be sad love, you know I’m just looking out for Sirius Jr.”
Adara let out a snort and smiled despite her ‘pouting,’ “Sirius Jr., eh? What if it’s a girl?” She turned her head so it was still rested on his chest but she could also see his face.
He grinned, “Sirius is a unisex name.”
“It most certainly is not!” Adara laughed. “And either way, we are not naming our child Sirius Jr. You are more than enough Sirius for me to deal with.”
Sirius turned his bottom lip down in a pout, “But I have to leave a legacy! Like Prongs!”
“Last time I checked, James and Lily have a son named Harry, not James.”
“Harry James,” Sirius pointed out.
Adara laughed again, “Fine, if we have a boy his middle name can be Sirius.” Maybe.
“And his first name can be Remus!” Sirius said as if it was the most brilliant idea he’d ever had.
Adara shook her head grinning, “What? Why Remus? Can’t he name his own kid after himself?”
Sirius snorted, “Please, like Remus would ever get married. He won’t let himself have a girlfriend because he thinks he’ll contaminate her.”
Adara sighed mournfully, “True.” She agreed, “But I think that Remus Sirius is a bit overdone.”
“We have a while to discuss it,” Sirius grinned at her.
“Merlin, maybe I should just hope for a girl,” Adara rolled her eyes and went back to tracing circles on Sirius (very well defined) abs and thought she heard Sirius mutter something about how nice Adromelda Sirius Black sounded as a name, but surely he wasn’t that daft.
Sirius had gone back to watching the television now and Adara found herself bored… again. Maybe she should have kept pouting.
She started thinking about names for her daughter, if she were to have one. There were certainly many relatives she could borrow names from. MacKenzie (she gulped)… or her mum, maybe. Ellie would be a cute name. Ellie Black. Well, it was certainly better than whatever Sirius was muttering about.
Her train of thought then led her to her mum and her mum’s new auror boyfriend that Sirius had introduced her to. She didn’t know how she felt having her mum around someone who was so targeted by the new Death Eaters. Her hypocritical thoughts led her to think about Sirius’ dangerous job with the Order of the Phoenix and how she wished he would just quit – along with James and Remus and Lily and Peter.
She thought about the Potters and the new security measure they had had to undergo. She thought about how Sirius had decided to make Peter the secret keeper, not only to throw the Death Eaters off but also to keep some pressure off of him and his growing family. Her. The baby.
Everything led back to the baby these days – her unborn child and Harry seemed to light up everything even when the world was so dark. Harry was absolutely precious though – she could have sworn that if Harry were to just smile at this Voldemort bloke, he would disappear. No one can look at such an innocent happy face and retain any ounce of evil or sadness or ill wishes.
She smiled to herself as she thought about the last time she’d seen him, about two days ago. She’d been with Lily at the Potter’s house during lunch while the boys did something for the Order. Neither Sirius nor James liked the girls staying alone anymore. Overprotective gits.
Harry had been enjoying part of a chess pie that Lily had whipped up that morning, chocolate covering his face in the most adorable way…
Adara sat up on the bed, her thoughts all focused on one thing now; she threw her legs over the side and grabbed her dressing gown and wrapped it around her.
“Er- where are you going?” Sirius asked, half amused, half worried at her haste.
“To make cookies,” Adara answered and walked out of the bedroom. Just as she knew he would, she heard Sirius’ familiar thump as he jumped out of bed and followed her down the small hallway, “You don’t have come with me, you know.” The wooden floor was cold on her bare feet, but it was soothing due to the fact that they were a bit sore.
“I don’t like you to be alone,” Sirius answered.
“I’m just going to the kitchen, I don’t think that You-Know-Who is going to be waiting for me there,” Adara rolled her eyes as she turned right and flipped the lights on. “Would you look at that… empty.”
“I’m not expecting anything, I just like to keep you close,” he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Do you have a problem with that?” he whispered directly into her ear causing shivers to shoot down her spine and her mind to go temporarily fuzzy.
She turned in his arms, “You are not allowed to do that when I’m not allowed to throw you into bed and have dirty sex with you.” She whispered back and then leaned in and kissed Sirius like she meant it before pulling away just a little early and grinning. “Cookie time!” She twisted out of his arms as he moaned about her ‘unfairness.’
She continued smiling to herself as she pulled the flour and sugar and oil out of the cabinet. Then she paused. And frowned.
“Sirius?” she asked in what he liked to call her ‘you’re in trouble voice.’ He constantly told he it would scare their kid(s) shitless.
“Er – yes, dear?” he answered, sounding frightened, from the table. She rolled her eyes at his tone, causing hers to dissipate.
“Where are the chocolate chips?” She turned and put her hands on her hips.
Sirius looked at the floor, “Er – I may have, in a state of severe hunger, when you were at work and I was unable to provide for myself because I am weak, eakdfjaghaoughem.”
Adara raised her eyebrows at him and tried not to smile, “What was that last part? I didn’t quite understand…”
He looked up at her, “Um, well, I might have – well, they might have – you see, they just attacked me, really.”
“Yes, it was awful, I had to fight them off by biting them into little tiny pieces and swallowing them.”
“Sounds terrifying,” Adara deadpanned.
Sirius grinned widely, “I think it was my Gryffindor courage that got me through it, really.”
“You poor, poor thing,” Adara walked over and sat in his lap, draping her arms around his warm, bare neck. “You know what you need?”
Sirius looked like Christmas had come early – or like he’d forgotten that he’d previously refused to be seduced by Adara. “What,” he whispered before kissing her neck.
Adara almost forgot what she was going to say before her stomach growled and her baby cravings reminded her that she needed chocolate now. She kissed up his jaw line until, “To go get me some chocolate,” she whispered in his ear. He scowled and she laughed and danced out of his lap.
“Why do you want chocolate so badly?” he asked.
“To spite you,” Adara answered, sticking her tongue out. Yes, she was twenty-one and sticking her tongue out. Sirius chuckled. Adara smiled, “Okay, fine. This baby –”
“–Remus Sirius Black –” Sirius interjected.
Adara rolled her eyes but continued, “wants mummy to have some chocolate right now.”
“Did Remus Sirius Black tell you this?” Sirius asked, grinning.
“If I say yes, will you get me chocolate?”
Sirius sighed, “Can’t you just eat some of the anchovy-pineapple pizza you made me order last night?”
Adara wrinkled her nose, “That’s disgusting, why would I want that?”
“You ate four pieces yesterday!"
“Well today, it’s disgusting.”
“Pregnant people are weird,” Sirius sighed. Adara opened her mouth to argue, but recalled her thoughts on pregnancy when Lily was carrying Harry and shut it again. So she was weird now, damnit, she had a human growing inside her and she would be whatever the hell she wanted.
“I’ll just go see if Remus has any chocolate, that way you won’t have to go out so late,” Adara concluded, walking over to the fireplace. “Besides, he will understand my need for chocolate!”
“Moony’s on a mission for the Order as of yesterday,” Sirius told her. “Wormtail’s watching his place.”
Adara stopped near the fireplace, “I don’t think he’ll mind if I nip some of his chocolate; I’ll replace it later.”
“You don’t know where he hides it,” Sirius pointed out, walking over to her. “He doesn’t even tell us –”
“He showed me when we told him I was pregnant,” Adara grinned superiorly.
“WHAT?” Sirius asked, flabbergasted. “I can’t believe he showed you and not me! You’re not even a Marauder!”
“Watch it,” Adara said sternly. “Putting up with you four for five years damn near makes me and Lily one.”
Sirius crossed his arms in a pout, “Still.”
Adara sighed, “So I’ll just go get some chocolate now and you can sit here and pout.” She took a pinch of floo powder.
“Let me go for you, ‘Dara –” Sirius sighed. “I don’t like you going places alone.”
“Sirius, stop,” Adara snapped. “I can go to the kitchen alone, and I can floo from our flat to Remus’ without getting killed!”
Sirius’ grey eyes searched her, unhappy.
She sighed and walked over to him, “Look, you have to calm down, okay? I know you’re worried because I’m clearly the best person on the entire planet and I’m carrying your baby –”
“-Remus Sirius Black –” Sirius put in quietly.
“-but no Death Eater is going to be lurking in the shadows of Remus’ flat, Lily and James’ house, nor in our kitchen. Dumbledore’s got it all covered and you know that.”
“I still don’t like you going places alone,” Sirius pouted.
“And I still don’t like you in the Order of the Phoenix–”
“Not now, Adara,” Sirius said sternly. Adara scowled. He hated when she brought up that argument; it was one of the only things they continually fought about.
“Too right, I’m going to get me some chocolate,” she grinned and kissed Sirius’ nose before throwing the floo powder into the fire and stepping in. “Moony’s flat!” she said clearly and tucked her elbows in and closed her eyes as she spun.
When she stopped spinning she stepped almost-gracefully out of the fireplace and dusted off her dressing gown. She was almost embarrassed for a minute before realizing that it was just Peter, who’d seen her all but naked at some point in the last five years, and looking around Remus’ bedroom.
The place was darker than it should have been if someone was staying there – but, then again, Peter wasn’t exactly normal, was he? She padded barefoot down the hallway to the main room to see if Peter was in there.
“I shall take care of it within the hour, Wormtail. You’ll need to disappear shortly after this conversation is over. Black will know as soon as it’s done and I’ve heard he’s not very … tolerant of rats, is he?” Adara’s blood ran cold as she heard the voice and, worse, the laugh that was issuing from somewhere close. She saw a glow emitting into the hallway from the living room and slowed both her breathing and he pace as she approached it.
She made her way around the nightstand that housed a broken lamp and realized that the tingly feeling on the back of her neck made her wish she’d just sent Sirius to the store.
“T-True, my Lord. H-He’ll head straight for me, I know it! And Moore will help him – they’ll get me! You p-promised me protection if I told you their address!” she stopped, still as a statue, as she heard Peter’s stuttering, scared voice. She felt as if her chest was constricting, causing her physical pain as she tried to comprehend those words.
Their address. Peter was the secret keeper for the Potters. Peter was the traitor. And James and Lily and baby Harry were betrayed.
She had to go tell Sirius, Dumbledore – she had to go warn James and Lily to evacuate their house now. She took a few steps backwards, wishing she’d brought her wand so she could apparate, and as she turned to sprint back to Remus’ fireplace, she ran straight into the tiny table. She watched with horror as the lamp, the one that had been broken for nearly two years, flipped in the air until…
“What was that!?” the cold voice hissed and a second later the sound of scraping chairs was heard and then, before she could move two feet down the hall…
“Adara?!” she spun and saw Peter – short, stubby, Peter – staring down at her with surprise (and was that guilt?) in his watery eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Wormtail, who is our lovely guest this evening?” the cold voice sounded like he was enjoying the turn of events. Adara couldn’t move; fear and shock had glued her to the spot and erased all rational thoughts.
And she didn’t even have her wand.
“I-it’s Adara Moore, my Lord,” Peter stuttered, looking half-ashamed. Adara looked back at him with fright and confusion. What was he doing? How could he do this to his best friends? The ones who had taken him in even though he clearly was not as talented nor as handsome as they were. How could he betray everyone who had loved him? She was so hurt and so disgusted with him that she felt her eyes watering.
“Pity,” she heard the cold man sigh. “I would have loved to see how the child turned out.” Adara felt a new emotion now, anger. And a lot of it. This man was going to kill her and her baby, she understood that now. And not only that, but he was going to also murder James, Lily, and Harry. She glared at Peter, hoping to kill him with her eyes because she sure as hell wasn’t wasting what she now realized were her last words defending herself. “Go on, get rid of her then – she’s heard too much.”
Peter looked absolutely frightened at the thought of carrying out his latest order; he gulped as raised his wand to her. “Sirius won’t stand for this – he’ll find you. And when he does, you’re going to wish you’d never even learned what a wand was.” She then closed her eyes, tears now tracing patterns down her cheeks, and pictured Sirius’ face – if she was going to be killed, she wanted his face to be the last thing she saw. I love you, she thought fiercely, as if her adamancy would allow him to hear her thought, even from so far away.
She didn’t hear the words, but the green light shone through her eyelids for a spilt second before everything was gone.
She opened her eyes as if she’d just blinked and jumped into a standing position faster than she ever had before, but when she sat up and looked down the hall she saw that Peter was no longer there. Before she could contemplate this, she heard her name and turned to see Sirius through the opening of Remus’ door as he came out of the fireplace.
“Adara, are you okay?” he asked, his voice laced with worry, and she saw him look around the room. She opened her mouth to call back, but nothing came out. No feeling of air whooshing out of her mouth, no sound.
She brought her hand to her throat, confused, as Sirius turned and walked towards her. She took two steps toward him when he looked down the hall at her feet, “Adara!” he cried and sprinted to her. She held her hands out in front of her to stop him, but he ran right through her.
Wait. That’s not right.
She turned and saw him on the ground, then, cradling her. What was left of her. Her body. “Adara, no,” he choked, in that moment creating the most heartbreaking sound Adara had ever heard. “Wake up,” he begged. “No, baby, no. This isn’t – you can’t be – no!” He sobbed, pulling her lifeless body to his strong chest causing Adara’s emotions to explode inside of her… yet she knew what she was feeling was only a shadow of real emotion. More than anything, she wanted to cry and scream and run back to him. She wanted to hurt and crave weird foods and hold him and make love to him. She wanted to breathe in the scent of his hair and hear his laugh and feel him pull her into the safety of his embrace.
Sirius hugged Adara’s body even tighter and buried his head in her hair, “No, no, no,” he kept repeating. “No.”
Her heart was breaking, even if it wasn’t beating and even if she technically couldn’t feel the whole thing. She turned away from the scene and that’s when she saw him.
He looked just like he had before, only lighter, made of less substance or something, as if he was a mere shadow of his former self. He was tall and had brown hair and was holding the hand of a curly haired three-year-old who was jumping up and down, smiling at her sister. Adara saw something in her peripheral vision and looked directly to her left, nearly dying a second later when she saw the brown-haired, grey-eyed toddler standing next to her in a flowing white sundress. This girl was beautiful, breathtakingly so, and looked younger than Mackenzie - maybe just about the size of Harry – and she was also staring straight up at Adara with the grey eyes she already missed so much.
Saiph Orion Black.
That was her name. It came so easily to Adara, like she’d known all along that would be what she named the baby she had been carrying. Saiph looked up at her mother and reached up to her with her cubby hands. Adara bent over and lifted her daughter, placing her perfectly on her hip as if she had been born (or had died) to sit there.
Bryce smiled, looking away from Saiph and back at his eldest daughter sadly as if saying, ‘I wish I didn’t have to see you two this way.’
MacKenzie’s bouncing told Adara that she didn’t grasp what had happened enough to care why she could now spend eternity with her sister and niece. She held out her near-translucent tiny hand and Adara looked at it. Saiph shifted in her arms and began tugging at Adara’s short hair; somehow Saiph felt warm and a bit heavy in Adara’s arms, which made her smile. Adara turned and looked back to Sirius, but it was as if he was a hundred meters away now, getting smaller and smaller with every second.
I’m sorry; I love you. She thought.
With one last look at the best thing in her life, she stepped forward and took MacKenzie’s hand, leaving it all behind her and holding on her hip the best thing in her death. She kissed her daughter’s chubby cheek and thought perhaps the time until they were a family again wouldn’t seem so long to them.
A/N: Okay, who cried? I know I did. And I'm about to now. I seriously can't believe this story is finished. This story was published on September 30, 2007. WHAT?! That's nearly three years of my life that I've been working on it. It's become such a huge part of
me that I honestly can't believe that this is it. I've grown up with this story (well, my writing has, at least), and I'm so glad that some of you have stuck with me throughout the whole thing. I really appreciate it so much; I can't even describe it.
I don't know when I'll get the sequel out - I'm about to start college and stuff so I'll be busy. I am really looking forward to writing it, though, so I hope you guys will read it.
Well I really can't think of much more to say. You guys have inspired me so much with your reviews. I'd really appreciate it if you did that one more time with this story :D