Why am I doing this? Why am I here? How could I have been so stupid!? Draco leans against a wall behind a suit of armor, his wand at his chest and at the ready. His breath raises and falls in his chest and he slams his head back, looking to the coridoor. He hasn't lifted his wand once with intent to attack. Even in the Room of Hidden Things, most of his spells were aimed off to the side.
He-Who-Musn't-Be-Named had given him a job to do, and he failed. Mostly because deep in his heart, he never really wanted to suceed in the first place. Draco figured that was why Crabbe and Goyle were sent with him, to be insurance. And that turned out great, didn't it?
Draco knew he was in deep. He was in so deep that to get out would mean death, both for him, and his parents. They were already under surveilance and he was the key to keeping them in line. If he didn't do what he was ordered, his whole family would parish, and it would be his fault.
Why did he do this? Why did he let himself fall prey to this life. Was Draco that afraid of what would happen if he said "No"? He never thought it would get this far. He never thought that he'd receive the mark. Not even Greyback was deemed worthy enough. Surely a child of only seventeen wouldn't be even a blip on his radar. But Draco knew better and knew why he was there, why he had been "chosen." He was never chosen to be a Death Eater. Even in the dark of his solitude he could see the spell on his left arm, which used to be the mark, begin to fade. He was chosen to be an expendable pawn. A pawn that, unknowingly to his parents and Order members alike, was also being hunted by those he was supposed to be on the side of. Not one person on the side of Hogwarts lifted a wand with intent to harm him. Draco had dodged at least seven hexes and jinxes and even had to take cover from a few killing curses being sent straight at him by Rookwood. In that moment, he witnessed the death of one of the Weasleys. It sent a sharp pain through his chest, thinking about his mother and how scared for him she must be.
I hope she's alright
The head of the suit of armor exploded in a heap around him. Draco carefully peered around to search for its cause. Others were dualing about and it seemed that the explosion was just a rebounded jinx. He was safe. For now. He slid down and slouched over his knees. So many things were running through his head at this moment and half of them, he had no idea why.
Draco's mind wondered to Potter and his two sidekicks. He had to admit, they were loyal, unlike his so called friends. Crabbe turned on him the second power was waved in front of him. Goyle was too scared to do anything other than follow orders and when those orders were to abandon Draco, he was right on board. Blaise was never one to pick sides, so he was most likely sitting in the comfort of his mansion, awaiting a victor. Pansy… well he really never cared about Pansy in the first place but she was forced to evacuate for fear of betrayal to the school. Who knows where she was hiding out. But Granger and the Weasley kid, they were there for him until the very end and it stung Draco in what he had left of a heart. He longed for that kind of friendship. He longed for any type of normal relationship. All he knew was fear and subservience.
Draco lifted his his head and took a breath. He stood and looked around the suit of armor. He knew what he had to do, where his alliegences must now lie. He took a step.