Chapter 42 : Gone
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Author's Note: OMG! I'M BACK! So pretty much, you all hate me and wanted me to update, and I would've, but the queu closed before I remembered to post something. Oops. Oh well. You're getting it now. So enjoy it. Savour it. Hey, lick the screen if you feel like it...just don't let anyone know that...
"I can't," she croaked. Blood was pouring out of the wound as she went dramatically pale. "If I stay, so does she. I can't make her do that anymore."
"Elle, please - we'll figure out a way to keep her away without this. There has to be another way," I said frantically and she smiled. She was dying and she smiled.
"I'm so sorry, Remus. I'm sorry for everything," she told me quietly, lifting one of her hands with difficulty to touch my face. "You are the most beautiful person I've ever met...I love you so much, Remmy."
"Elle -" She cut me off my bringing my head down so she could kiss me. It was soft and weak but it meant everything. "I love you too, Ellie."
"Tell everyone I love them and will miss them."
"I will," I promised. She smiled before her eyes slowly closed and I knew she was gone. I didn't want her to be, but she was. Gone forever, just like my mum, just like the Potters and just like Abbie. Dead. All of them are dead.
I felt tears start spilling out of my eyes as I leaned over her body. My love was gone...how was I supposed to go on without her? I know we had our problems, but every marriage did - that's why it took work.
Everything else went by in a blur. Somehow I ended up back home but it didn't feel like the same place I had surprised her with before - it was suddenly cold and dark. I walked in, not really taking in my surroundings before I came to the bedroom we shared.
On the bed was a pile of envelopes, all with different names on them. I flopped down beside it and picked them up, my hands trembling. I shuffled through them until I found the one with my name on it. I tore it open and pulled out a letter with shaky hands and unfolded it before reading it.
I can't believe I'm doing this again. I never thought I'd write you another one of these letters - not after the first time. First off, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about everything I've done, and for taking my own life. I'm not going to tell you why I did what I did - I had to do it to stop Annie. I had to do it to keep you all safe.
Please forgive me. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't. I know you probably think what I did was ridiculous, but it was the only way. I know you probably think there are others, but there isn't. She needed peace and the only way for her to get that was for me to join her.
I wish I could've told you what I was thinking, but I knew you'd try to stop me. I couldn't let you do that. You're all safe from her now - everyone is. I'm sorry I didn't tell you everything I should've - I guess I'm just sorry. I love you so much, Rem, but I'm okay.
I want you to have all of my belongings - anything you don't want, give it to Addie. And let her know that she's got to rule the kingdom until the next heir comes of age. Other than that, I want you to find love. Find someone else that you care deeply about and tell them how much you love them. Don't care about age or race or whatever, just love with everything you have - whoever you fall in love with will be very lucky, I know I was.
I have one more favor to ask of you. The next heir to the throne is going to be born soon. She'll be the second daughter of Cheryl and Greg. Last time I was near them, I could feel it. Protect that girl; something big is going to happen with her. And train her - she'll be a half-blood, so she won't show signs of being a fairy until she is fourteen years old. Do what you can to prepare her for her coronation.
I guess that's all I have to say. There's probably a lot more I could tell you, like why I did it, and I could explain a lot of things to you, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to make you go through the agony of constantly thinking "What if...?" Don't do that. Live for the day and for your future. You have so many opportunities ahead of you - don't let me down by not going for them.
I love you so much Remus, and I never want you to forget that.
The funeral came and no one was ready for that. Everyone was crying all around me. Mourning the friend, sister, wife, ruler that they had lost. The funeral had to be held in the colony where a fairy priest was giving the service. The whole colony came out to mourn the loss of their queen.
According to Addie, it had to be an open-casket funeral because that was tradition. It was so everyone had a chance to say their final goodbyes to their loved one. To see her one last time.
Elle looked beautiful. They had dressed her in an elegant, dark purple ballgown and made sure to put her favorite crown on her head. She looked very much alive, but I knew that if the dress was off, you'd see the stab wound. The wound that ended her life.
All of the fairy colony was weeping, their wings spread and going up to the body, saying something quiet in their native tongue before leaving a flower.
I was one of the last people to arrive and to go see the body. I walked up slowly, afraid that I might see her upset or in pain, but she was smiling peacefully, just like she when she first passed away in my arms. She was holding an orchid, her favorite flower in her relaxed hands.
I couldn't believe this was my wife - the girl that I had met the day she woke up from a coma and fell in love. I still remembered that day clearly, and all the feelings she gave me. The time she asked me for kissing lessons.
During the ceremony, they'd show pictures of her. Pictures that we had taken when we were all still at Hogwarts, pictures of our wedding, pictures of her coronation, Abbie's birth, pictures of Elle before we even knew her. They'd play her some of her songs, songs about life, songs about death, and songs about love.
It felt like they were trying to make it seem as if Elle was actually there. But she wasn't. Pictures would never replace actually being there with her. Recorded songs would never replace the tinkling sound of her laugh, or her voice as she talked and joked with you. Seeing her body would never be the same as seeing her smiling and blushing and dancing. Nothing would replace the feeling of holding her in my arms at night, brushing a stray piece of hair behind, kissing her soft lips, holding her hand in mine, making love to her for the first time, the way my stomach twisted into knots whenever I was with her. I would never get to experience any of that again.
"And now, we must all say our goodbyes to the girl - the woman - we all loved and cared about. We must bid her farewell and wish her good luck on her next greatest adventure. Goodbye Eleanor, I know we will all miss you greatly."
A/N: Just as a note, there's one more chapter after this, so don't cry yet!!!
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