Chapter 1 : The Proposal
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Chapter 1- The Proposal
It's a funny thing… Heaven, I mean.
See you come up here and they pretty much give you every opportunity to go back.
Hey James, wanna be a ghost? Well no, I don't at all. I realize the circumstances in which I died were PRE-TTY tragic but that does not mean I'm going to go back and haunt. Plus, I heard once that as a ghost you can forget. You'll haunt so long that you can't even remember why you started in the first place. Oh you may lose the memory, but you'll never forget the feeling that drove the decision. Revenge. Jealousy. Pain. Heartache.
No way in hell I, James Potter, was going to be a ghost. It all sounded too… permanent.
And a little too dreary for my taking.
The only person I'd haunt- out of pure irony of course- would be Sirius. AND he was already locked up in Azkaban by the time I got the offer. He didn't need me to drive him insane. Dear Padfoot was already going barking mad… no pun intended of course.
Some might guess that I would haunt dear old Voldy, but then again what kind of father would I be if I doubted my own son? Even if he was at the tender age of one?
No, no, no. When my death hit, I was confident that good ole Harry would grow up and defeat the dark lord. And I wasn't going to interfere with it by haunting some mangy snake-like crazy-assed wizard for all eternity just for the hell of it!
So I declined.
And now here I am. Once again. I'm back in this bloody office talking to the creepiest fellow in the entire joint. And heaven is a fairly large place mind you! How they manage to employ the most sniveling bloke is monumentally ironic. Oh heaven… it's all bunnies and lollipops! My arse! It's greasy toss pots like this reaper here.
"Missssster Potter… is it?" Whispering! We are alone in an office and he has to use that slithering, rolling tongue. Oh this will be rich, I'm sure!
"You know it's me, Reap. You've called me in here every bloody year." I fully intend on making this the most difficult- and juvenile- conversation this black cloaked crusader has ever dealt with. If I were alive I'd be the ripe age of forty-one, but lucky for me I'm not alive so I can act whatever age I like… oh the joys of death!
"Riggght. Now I sssseee here that it is your twentieth anniversary to your death day."
"Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner! What do we have for him? Oh by golly it's a new broom!"
"Misssster Potter, I don't appreciate the ssssarcassm."
"Oh don't be such a spoil sport! It was you that called me in here, yeah? So you obviously read my file?" I honestly couldn't tell if the bloke was nodding. The hood on his cloak was always draped so far over him that I have never- not even once- seen his face. He could be a blonde for all I know!
"Well then there's no need for introductions or round about questions. Just get to the point so I can go back and enjoy my death day with my dead wife and dead friends."
"Fine Misssster Potter. As you wissshhh. As it isss your twentieth anniversary, we have a limited time offer."
Is this a bloody infomercial?
"For one day only, you can haunt whomever you choose. No sssstringsss attached. You will return to the pearly gatesss after your twenty four hours is up."
"What a rockin gift. Make sure to thank the big guy upstairs."
Like I said James Potter does not haunt. Period. How many times do I have to remind this wanker?
I was just getting up to walk out when…
"Just think, Jamessss. You could talk to Harry. Ssssee his life. He would hear you for once. You wouldn't have to look at him from afar or speak wordssss that he'd never be able to hear. You could hold whole conversations. You could finally… influence… his life."
"Like I haven't already, Reap?"
"Not like thissss. The person you choose to haunt can ssssee you, touch you, talk to you. But no one else can see you. This haunt is a solo and it is a one time offer. You take it or leave it."
It was very tempting.
"One ghosssst per person limit. If you choose Harry, she'll have to haunt sssssomeone else… but she's already been in and chosen. Harry is still open for a haunt. Her Reaper has already sent her to her hauntee."
Lily had already left! Without even telling me? Does the sanctity of marriage mean anything these days!
"Ya know I died first! I should've been offered first!"
"Correct you are and indeed that is normally how we would have handled the ssssituation. But your wife had already known of the offer we were going to make and she polled ussss ahead of time to see if it was possible. We didn't think you would pick who she did so we… made an exception."
Now raised the even more important question… what was my clever wife up to?
"Just out of curiosity… who has my beloved decided to haunt for her death day?"
"Well normally we are not allowed to reveal such-"
"Oh come now, Reap. I'm her bloody husband!"
"Fine, but if I tell you then you have to take the offer."
"Deal. I'll haunt Harry."
"Well Missster Potter. Your wife told us she would like to haunt one Miss Hermione Granger."
Oh bollocks… that woman is at it again! Before I could comment though, I felt a familiar pull at my navel.
"Goodbye Misssster Potter."