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What's That Word? by Groundswell
Chapter 13 : They Call It Ignorant
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 8

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They call it Ignorant.

Four days. Eighteen hours... And some minutes. No, I wasn't counting. Well, in a way I was, but really... I wasn't that desperate. I wasn't that sad. I was simply... counting.

The time I was counting: James and my breakup.

Well, breakup wasn't the word. Fall out. Yeah. Because we had never been dating. Not one second. And now it was over. The coward had made it perfectly clear. Not that I cared of course. I didn't like James. Not really. Not for real. Not with emotions and stuff. Though my stomach did hurt a little bit, but that might have been because I still was so angry about it. How did he dare?

The last five days had passed slow, yet fast. I had seen James only in classes, and the rest of the time had I spent with Megan in the library or in the dorm, simply because I couldn't stand sitting around anywhere where there was a chance he might show up. And I had succeeded with flying colours.

And now the only thing left to do was pack. Christmas was up and I had to go home. Megan had to go home. James had to go home. Nothing left for anyone except going home. And eat lunch, I thought whilst pushing to a potato on my plate.

“Okay, Lily, seriously!” Megan slammed her hand down across from me. “If you don't tell me this instant what's up your but, I will force it out of you.”

I met her eye. “I don't like Christmas,” I said. “You know that.”

She smiled slightly. “You don't like New Year's Eve,” she corrected me. “And there's still more than a week to that day. But really, what is it?”

I shrugged. “Don't you ever get that helpless feeling? That feeling which just drags you towards the bed, without no reason.”

“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “But I can hardly remember it. I haven't felt that in so long.” She sent me a smile. “But that mood better be gone by New Year's, or you can't come over.”

“Fine!” I sighed and grinned.

“Thank you.” She took a big gulp of juice. “Because, really. I don't think I can stand you in that mood wh-”

She was interrupted as an explosion sounded from the other end of the table and a group of first years was covered in gravy. Then laughter from those who hadn't been covered in gravy. With a frown Megan turned back to me and then shrugged.

“Should I help them?” I asked her. “I am head girl after all.”

“If you feel for it.”

I did. So I got up and with a (what I thought a friendly smile) cleaned them up. They all looked at me frightened.

“It happens,” I said, without knowing what else to say. Magic did happen after all.

Not two seconds had passed and a new explosion sounded, and a little group of Hufflepuffs had pieces of chicken in their hair. Then a third explosion. Pumpkin juice on a large group of Slytherins. I met Megan's eyes, frowning. Something was off. That's when I saw them. I marched towards the other end of the Gryffindor talbe, stopping in front of James and his friends. They were all snickering.

“Okay,” I said and looked straight at Sirius. “What did you do to the food?” My eyes flickered over their guilty faces. When I met James' eyes shortly he looked away, frowning.

“It's a game,” Sirius said then. “Pick the wrong thing and it explodes. Be careful what you eat, Evans.”

I drew my wand, pointing it at him. “Make it stop. I'm in a bad mood today, and I want to start the Christmas break with a smile on my face.” A new explosion from behind me, but I didn't turn. “If that doesn't happen, I will blame you.”

He laughed loud. “So you want to take this to a duel.”

“I'm not kidding, Black. Make it stop.”

“Lily, come on,” Remus said. “It is the last day of school in the year. Let us have our fun.”

As another explosion sounded, they all burst out in laughter. I rolled my eyes. “If anyone gets hurt, it's on you.” I glared at them all a last time and then spun around and walked away.

Megan was grinning at me as I sat down. “Talked any sense into them?”

“There's no way into that thick skull of Black's.” I grumbled.

Megan laughed and I somehow got into a worse mood. With a twinge of pain I thought back on how James had avoided my eyes. Not that I wanted him to look at me, no. But I just... And I had said I was in a bad mood today. Did he think it was because of him? Had I given that away. What it he thought the only reason I came over there was because I wanted him back?

Hm! I certainly didn't want anything to do with him. Not now, not ever. I sighed and once again got into my depressed mood. Who was I kidding, really? I wanted James to come find me. I wanted him to talk to me, to at least say that he didn't want me anymore. But what I really wanted was James to find me and tell me that he wanted me back, that he needed me back. I wanted him to stop avoiding me!

Megan got up. “Let's go pack the rest. I feel that if I stay down here I have to help all the smaller children get cleaned up.”

I smiled and got up with her. “Fine.”

We had barely exited the Great Hall when my name was called. Megan and I looked at each other, but kept on walking. I knew that voice, even though I hadn't heard it for several days.


“I'll meat you in the dorm,” Megan said and speeded up.

“No, just wait,” I said and grabbed her arm. “It won't be long.”

She sighed and looked over my shoulder. “Are you sure? It could be important?”

I sighed and turned to face James. “What?” I snapped.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

“No,” I said shortly. “I don't have time.”

“Evans, will you at least let me-”

“No, no, no.” I held up a hand. “The Holidays start now, and whatever it is, it can wait.” I looked at him a few seconds. “I don't want to hear it now. Three days ago, yes. Now, no.”

I grabbed Megan's arm and dragged her away from James, who I heard muttering words like 'listen for a second', 'ignorant', and 'idiot'. Meagn tried to protest, but I didn't let her speak.

“Lily, it could be impo-”

“No, it couldn't,” I said harshly. “It's James Potter. It's never important.” I sighed.

“What did you mean by three days ago?”

“Some stuff with some annoying children,” I muttered. “Come on, let's go packing.”

I wasn't sure why I was so angry. I should have let him explain, but really, I wasn't interested in letting him tell me we were done now that we had been for days. He was too late, and now, for all I cared, he could rot wherever he was. I didn't care where that was. I didn't care about anything Potter related.

And like that I started my Holiday. James free. Not caring about him. Only focused on my own thoughts, which were filled with hate worlds and anger. I didn't even listen to Megan's plans about New Year's Eve, which, looking backwards, might have been a good idea.


A/N:Okay, so this was more of a filler than anything. I was eager to get on with the next chapter, but wanted something in between, but didn't know what to write, so it turned into this horrible, short chapter. I'm sorry. I hope the next chapter will be better and longer.

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