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Dudley's Tale by Serious_Black
Chapter 8 : Insanity is Humanity
Rating: MatureChapter Reviews: 5

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Chapter Eight – Insanity is Humanity

Disclaimer: Ce n’est mon monde… j’espère que c’était le mien
A/N: Hey, sorry this is a little short. Sorry for the long wait… HAPPY READING!

I eat quickly so I can get back to my cousin, practically swallowing my food whole in the process. I can tell it’s grossing out some people at the table if not all of them but I don’t really give a shit. Haze needs someone who’s a tad more competent than Dudley watching over her and Diggle.

God! Haze can be so dimwitted sometimes! Just because Diggle needed blood doesn’t mean she had to go and drain herself! To top it off, she knows perfectly well that she has low blood pressure to begin with! Real smart Haze, real smart. Just give your mum another patient to tend to while you’re at it. Well played.

Furthermore, I’m not too thrilled about leaving Dudley alone with my baby cousin. Okay, maybe she’s only a few months younger than me, but I still feel responsible for her safety. That buffoon just let the little martyr sap herself dry. To be fair, he is about as reasonable and observant as Sir Cadogon at Hogwarts, and probably thought she was fine... But STILL!

To top it off, I think my cousin may actually like the wanker! I can’t be sure but she actually talks to him. About topics of substance, not just her books! Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I heard her mention anything other than her books to a guy. Don’t get me wrong; I see the value of Muggle literature… but seriously? She probably has read every book in the library. Twice.

I’m rambling again… in my mind… I must be crazy…

But then again, everyone is a little mad when it’s just themselves aren’t they? Normality is just a façade we all put up for the benefit of the rest of the world.

Wait! No more random tangents about philosophy or my cousin’s fervor for the written word. I must maintain some semblance of reasonable thought if I’m to sound even remotely sane.

Where was I? Right, Hazel and Dudley and whatever the hell is going on between them! I’m getting this definite vibe that he digs her… Not sure how I feel about that yet… Not even sure how she feels about that yet… I honestly have NO clue how she acts around guys! It’s times like these that almost make me feel guilty about going to Hogwarts and leaving her alone in London. Almost. Hogwarts is awesome.

Why is Owen’s kid sister staring at me? Bloody hell, she freaks me out!

Finally! I’m done eating; now I can go check up on Hazel!

I stand up and hurriedly excuse myself from the table. Crazy, psychotic Lunet is still following me with her eyes. Her angry, scary, eyes that look just like Nesta’s– Nesta has gorgeous eyes. And a sick bod– NO! Stay on task!

I’m going to check on my cousin and the Neanderthal who is now almost my friend. Oh, and Diggle of course. The buffoon who got himself hit by so many hardcore curses Aunt Janey had to step in and do some epic muggle surgery tricks. Can’t forget about him!

I burst into the living room where I find Hazel dozing peacefully where we left her. Poor thing; she gives so much but doesn’t believe she deserves anything else in return. I blame her father for instilling her constant need to prove herself good enough for the world. She’ll tell you differently, but Haze is a little messed up over the situation with her dad. I mean, the man is practically an absentee parent… to all of his children; neither me nor my parents approve of him in the slightest…

WOW! Off topic again! Dudley just noticed that I’m in the room and is putting down the book he was reading. Wait! A book?! Wow, I never would have pegged him as a one to enjoy novels, especially A Stranger in a Strange Land. That book is, quite frankly, bizarre.

“Hey,” I instigate a conversation. “How are they doing?”

“Uh… Okay I guess,” Dudley shrugs. “I wouldn’t really know something was wrong unless one of them started screaming or something.”

I chuckle at this, “Yeah, I’m useless at this kind of thing too.” Dudley looks confused so I elaborate, “First-Aid, medicine, you know… this sort of thing.” How Dudley got through primary school is beyond me; the guy has the attention span of a walnut.

“Oh! Right!” Dudley looks embarrassed but quickly shakes it off when he notices Diggle stirring. The poor bloke’s painkillers are probably wearing off. Dudley and I both slowly approach the fallen auror to find out what he wants.

Diggle starts moaning in pain so I suggest that Dudley go get my aunt. Upon hearing this, the auror’s eyes fly open as he attempts to vehemently protest. Apparently he is still too traumatized from his recent encounter with muggle medicine to be willing to be face Aunt Janey again. He’ll give in soon enough. I don’t know what the hell my aunt did to him, but it can’t possibly feel good to have no pain medication!

Dudley looks unsure at this sudden protest from Diggle; he looks to me for confirmation that he should get my aunt. I know she should be informed about Diggle’s condition, but decide to wait a little while. After all, I may not know much about muggle medicine, but as long as he doesn’t move he should be fine. When Diggle’s ready for Aunt Janey to finish fixing him up, he’ll tell us.

I shake my head and motion Dudley to come back to Diggle’s side. We crouch by his side to listen for any requests. To our surprise, he starts muttering about France.

“…Dead! They’re all dead!”

“Who’s dead?” the ever-tactful Dudley asks. You’d think he’d realize he wasn’t supposed to put Diggle under any more stress. Though, I must admit, I wanted to ask that question too.

“Bauxbatons… families… gone…”

Now I’m worried. I have several acquaintances at Bauxbatons. I hope they’re all right. “Diggle,” I ask, unable to restrain myself. “What happened in France?”

Diggle’s eyes start bugging out of his head as he starts frantically gasping about being “surrounded by Death Eaters.” His body started convulsing and I practically shouted for Dudley to get my aunt. I threw my body over Diggle’s to try to keep him still, tearing some of the stitches in the process. I am frantically wishing for some help when Hazel appears at Diggle head. She holds his head firmly in her hands and starts uttering soothing sounds. Dedalus seems to be calming down as she gently smoothes the creases on his forehead. Thank GOD for Hazel’s highly developed empathy; she knew exactly what he needed.

Aunt Janey bursts into the living room followed closely by Dudley and the Llewellyns; my parents and Hestia rush in soon after. Everyone crowds around Diggle and my aunt. Talk about déjà vu.

Aunt Janey switches back into full-on Dr. Finch mode, muttering to herself about “sutures” and “internal bleeding.” It sounds serious so I back up to stay out of her way. I’ll help clear away blood if she needs me to…
But that’s it; I’m not going to come within a two-foot radius of that madman.

I notice Dudley sitting next to my cousin. That’s good; he made her sit back down. She should be okay with him… he seems to be dead-set against anything happening to her. Maybe it isn’t so bad that they are friends. He certainly cares about her enough… I just a knew a little more about him. I mean, he seems to shut down whenever his cousin is mentioned. It’s like he has no bloody idea just who his cousin is. It’s just not normal; something weird or scary must have happened between the two of him.

Aunt Jane starts yelling at everyone to “GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS ROOM!” Diggle is still flipping out on the floor so everyone leaving is probably a good idea. Being in close proximity of too many people will make anyone antsy. Add to the ever-present sensation of claustrophobia the fact that Diggle just woke up after having his entire abdomen sliced up and sewn back together by a muggle he barely knew… it’s no wonder the poor sop is having a nervous breakdown.

Hestia had the prescience to stay with my aunt and her partner; Diggle really needs some semblance of normalcy when Aunt Janey tells him exactly what she did to his body. Everyone else, myself included, beeline out of the living room.

My parents and the elder Llewellyns are heading towards the parlor so I sprint into the kitchen. I really am not interested in hearing any more complaints from my mother about all of the parties she is missing while in hiding. My parents are really, really into the London social scene. I guess Aunt Jane was too, for a time; that’s the only way I’d imagine she could have possibly met Hazel’s father.

WOW! I went off topic again! I shake my head to banish any rambling thoughts about Hazel’s dad and my impossible parents. I really should be focused on more pressing matters, like how Dudley is staring at my cousin or how Owen’s kid sister scares the shit out of me. Holy Crap! Now I can’t focus on any of that, because Nesta just walked into the room.

It isn’t fair that she should have this power over me… That she can just walk into a room and all of my thoughts are immediately occupied by perverted fantasies of her. Okay, Justin. Focus. Focus on anything, anything but her…

She’s walking… walking towards me! With every step, her hips sway seductively, taunting me as she ambles along easily. It’s hot today, and she’s wearing a top that shows so much cleavage… she must know of her allure in that top. She wore it on purpose! Her assets are bouncing in rhythm with her sultry strut as she comes closer… and closer…

THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE! Okay… Food… Fried Okra… Cornbread… The cuisine of the American South… America… Hawaii… Hawaiian beaches… Nesta on Hawaiian beaches… SHIT!

“AHEM!” I blink rapidly and rip my eyes from Nesta’s chest. Only then do I realize that, Lunet, the creepy Llewellyn, and Owen are glowering at me. Nesta scowls and crosses her arms over her glorious form, obscuring the marvelous view. I feel my face burn crimson, which is actually really uncharacteristic of me.

I search the room for something, anything, that could distract the three of them. Nothing. There is absolutely nothing and Dudley and Hazel are too preoccupied with themselves to notice my dilemma! Wait… why are they preoccupied with themselves?

“You!” I snap my attention back to the three before me. Lunet, the scary one, is yelling at me; I feel myself cower in her presence.

“Erm… hey,” a start sheepishly. I move my hand to scratch my head. I am literally oozing mortification at this point; I’m pretty positive the three of them have noticed too. It’s not as if I’m such a good liar as it is, and the Llewellyns are a freakishly observant family.

I sway awkwardly then start to back up uneasily. Hopefully, they’ll let me off if I shy away with my tail between my legs.

It must be my lucky day because the creepy one suddenly cocks her head and walks away as if in a trance. She looks as though she is listening intently to something, but I’m too relieved she isn’t yelling at me to notice. Now just Owen and Nesta are glaring at me, a vast improvement. While they’re still two of the scariest people I know, at least I’ll always know where I stand with them. The creepy one is odder than Luna Lovegood, and that is saying something!

My back hits the wall and I know I’ve run out of options. I start praying to every god and wizarding legend I know that Nesta and her brother won’t kill me. At least not before I find out what the hell is going on between Dudley and my cousin.

Nesta starts chuckling, Owen soon follows suit though I’m almost positive he has no idea what is so funny. She shakes her head and walks away, dragging her utterly perplexed younger brother with her. I hear her whisper in his ear, “Did you see how scared he was?” as she slinks away.

Okay, I was not scared! I may have been a little panicky and very startled but I am not terrified of Nesta Llewellyn – I wonder what her middle name is...

I take another few deep breaths to steady my nerves when I hear a muffled, “Gerroffmehewkgk” coming from behind me.

I immediately spin around, anxious to discover what could possibly be behind me when I saw the portrait of Prudence Kipsworth. In a huff, she smoothes her dress and sits up straight once more. Prudence tilts her head and asks me, “What is anyone doing about France?” My confusion is paramount.

A/N: Ok... I know this was a bit of a shorter chapter and it's definitely not the same as what I usually put out. Please, please leave a review to let me know what you thought. They make my day.

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