Chapter 1 : i wish i was beautiful
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Thanks to Gabriel now she noticed. Now she saw that Lily was beautiful, how her porcelain skin reflected of the sunlight and showered everyone around her in tiny sparkles. How her clear brown eyes, if you looked really closely, had tiny specks of gray, blue and green. Her bubbly laugh, her sweet personality, her bright smile that did exactly that -brightened her friends’ day, and it looked like Gabriel’s too.
And that’s when Dom decided that she wanted to be beautiful. Because no matter how many days strolling in the park, how many nights cuddling in her room and praying that the annoying prefect would not decide to check on the girls, no matter all those times he gazed into her blue eyes and say that she was hot, every guy’s dream, and how lucky he was that he got her. That did not matter anymore. She didn’t want to be hot; as it looked it wasn’t enough for her boyfriend.
She wanted to be beautiful.
“So you want to be beautiful,” Lorcan asked. He and Dom were at his prefect dorm, Lorcan sitting on a mahogany chair and Dom lying on the leopard print couch. Personally she thought it was kind of tacky, but today she welcomed the soft padding of animal fur and the intricate design, putting her thoughts on Lorcan’s eccentric taste aside. “Yes, I do,” she answered truthfully. The mini helpers that worked day and night inside Dom to pull together her system tugged on a string that hung from the air and twirled a huge faucet, making tears rush to her eyes. But Dom did not want Lorcan to see her cry, and therefore blinked back tears as she stared at Lorcan’s ceiling. Inside her, the Mini-Dom Snurfs entered in panic and ran to safety on top of tabletops while the water they released came back. Two of them ran in circles and bumped into each other, making Dom get a small headache.
Two steps over, she heard Lorcan sigh, and she closed her eyes to numb the pain of her throbbing head. “And you want to be beautiful because…?” Lorcan trailed off.
Dom popped her eyes open and left the comforting sight of the high ceiling to look at her old Hogwarts friend. She knew how his sentence would have ended if he had chosen to, but he didn’t because he knew for sure that Dom would figure out what he meant in a split second (meaning the Mini-Doms hurrying through papers in the LORCAN file and then feeding it to the fridge-sized fax that send it to Dom’s hard-drive in a split second.) “I don’t want it to make me prettier or something or to get me guys!” she snapped, then went back to resting her head in the black-and-yellow patterned armrest, while keeping her gaze on her friend. “I just want him to look at me that way.”
“What way?” Lorcan asked, psychiatrist style.
“That way,” she answered, her words bringing back the memory of Gabriel’s puppy dog eyes. “That way he looks at Lily.”
Lorcan nodded and Dom went back to admiring the old grand ceiling.
“But what if you’re already looked at that way, just not from him?”
Lorcan’s voice came in a hushed whisper, that if she hadn’t seen his cherry red lips move she wouldn’t have known he had talked. Those words acted as a stunning charm while they sank in, slowly, deep, past her skull, past her brain, past her heart, into her soul. She knew that Lorcan meant something, something important, and Dom wasn’t an idiot, but there was also something else, something big, something strong that stopped her from figuring out the meaning of Lorcan’s words. As if she were a computer, and her entire system had shut down. The Dom-Snurfs screamed and ran in circles as sparks flew when two files titled LORCAN and GABRIEL fell over and crashed to the ground.
“What if you never noticed?”
Green and purple leopards were running wild in the streets with pink goggles on their heads. They seemed to be playing baseball, and were wearing shirts of frogs. The frogs, which were blue, screamed and hopped away from the shirts to liberty. The leopards growled and ran after the frogs, following them to the top of a volcano that leaked out water and butterflies. Dom jumped up from the couch, which wasn’t a couch anymore, but one of the leopards with shirts, and waved around a lasso, trying to trap that orange and purple butterfly who kept teasing her around. “Wait!” she called, surprised of her voice shaking and her eyes smarting. “Don’t leave me!” she screamed, trying desperately to trap the butterfly.
“What?” Dom looked around the room, wondering if she had been asleep or daydreaming.
“Nothing,” Lorcan mumbled and Dom turned around to look at him, suspicion on her eyes and question marks on her heart.
Lorcan sighed again and licked his lips, usually a sign of failure and disappointment with himself. Dom squinted her eyes. She knew there was something, she wasn’t dumb, but as she tried to understand this situation, her CD room screamed and pounded against her inner CPU, knocking the air out of her, and jamming her entire system.
Because the hints were there, so clear and obvious and weighting on Dom’s heart. Because for some reason, she could not assimilate that Lorcan Scamander thought she was beautiful. Because for some reason, her system didn’t want to understand and it was blocking her entirely. Because for some reason, maybe, she thought him beautiful too.
“I have to go,” she urged and stood up quickly, the wool blanket Lorcan had given her falling to the floor.
“Wait, why?” he asked, standing up too and staring at her as she gathered her stuff quickly. Dom grabbed her bag, and put on her flip flops, not noticing the tiny stuffed animal in a corner of the glass table that she was leaving behind.
“Dom,” Lorcan called after her as she hurried to the door. Woefully for Dom, he was faster than her and beat her to the door, so when she tried to grab the handle, instead she found herself touching a six pack that was hidden under too-short black robes.
“Dom, where are you going? What’s going on?” he demanded, his gray eyes piercing her blue ones, but they were not staring back.
Dom pushed her hand against the hard six-pack, and ran her hand along them, lingering on the last ones and exploring them. She slowly raised her gaze and stopped at Lorcan’s face, when she noticed what she just did. She took her hand back and felt a slight vertigo, making the Dom-Snurfs fall over and skid from one side of her head to the other, trying desperately to grab on to something. Dom closed her eyes and fell down, nearly fainting. Lorcan grabbed her arms and held her on so she wouldn’t fall, and her face was an inch of distance to his. She opened her eyes drunkenly and whispered to his face.
“Am I beautiful?”
Lorcan kept his gaze on her amber gaze and responded, “Yeah, you are.”
Inside her, the snurfs went “awwwwww” as they balanced on top of the tables to prevent drowning in the water that flooded the system.
“Why did it take you so long?” Dom asked, caressing his cheek.
“I don’t know.”
“Why is it so hard for me to get it?!” she screamed and pounded his chest on the beat as her cd-room pounded against her CPU again and the tears came, fast, strong, and hot. The snurfs had finally found a way to open a hatch that sucked the water away. “Why can’t I understand you love me?!”
Lorcan bit his lower lip as he thought. “Maybe you love me too.”
Dom cried even harder and she sparks began to fly inside her. She was having a electro-shock with the system going so fast to try to think straight. “I think it’s too late,” She said, shaking her head and tears rolling down her eyes.
Lorcan grabbed her wrists, pulling her in for a hug. He buried his head on her hair and closed his eyes. “Don’t go,” he pleaded. “It took me so long to tell you I love you. Don’t leave me.”
“It’s too late,” Dom repeated as she opened the door to the common room.”It’s too late.”
“Why? Why is too late? He doesn’t love you!” Lorcan yelled after. Dom shut her eyes and turned around to face him.
“He will.” She assured herself as she cried. “He has too. I’m pregnant.”
Nevertheless the assumptions, it was Lorcan Scamander’s system that shut down.